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AWizardInDallas's page
RPG Superstar 2010 Top 8. Pathfinder Society Member. 304 posts. 3 reviews. 1 list. 1 wishlist. 6 Pathfinder Society characters.
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Your reviews are very much appreciated! -Rich
KTFish7 wrote: That being said, what I saw in the preview of this vile little kobold has me seriously intrigued, as he looks to be a fantastic villain, with an equally vile goddess. Maramaga has a special place in my sick brain and I had a good time writing her up. :)
Reebo Kesh wrote: Question: Is that Lich on the cover dancing? Because I think The Dancing Lich as an adversary sounds awesome! He's battle float green glow kick-butt dancing which is even worse! This is a seriously great piece by Eric de Mander from Sweden. We had to have it!
Awesome!
Lex Talinis wrote: richard develyn wrote: Any thoughts about how this could slot in to the Carrion Crown Campaign both geographically and from a plot p.o.v?
Cheers
Richard Well geographically... [i]So my recommendation it to run it as a followup to the AP - as they are celebrating their big win and just scale it to level 16. I agree. You do want to be careful an not derail your AP. Silvermote does contain some serious treasures. I'd recommend using Temerlyth and his lair like paint to touch up and enhance the experience. :)

richard develyn wrote: Any thoughts about how this could slot in to the Carrion Crown Campaign both geographically and from a plot p.o.v?
Cheers
Richard
The Shudderwoods in haunted Ustalav, where the adventure path is set, seems like the perfect choice, with the nearby Worldwound being a good second choice. The demonic powers there would give Temerlyth a run for his money though yet provide a good reason for him to stay hidden. In the latter case, the twisted fey of the Shudderwoods adds additional flavor to Temerlyth's being an elven lich.
Recall that Temerlyth loves a bit of court intrigue. He'd be tempted to dabble in the political affairs of Ustalav, maybe even going so far as to act as an occasional adviser to the powers that be. Temerlyth could most certainly by involved somehow in "Broken Moon," the 3rd piece of the AP. You could use him to help weaker parties through a side quest to his lair for legendary objects or advice on dealing with werewolves. He would certainly take an interest in the werewolf lord's death and in the doings of the cult of the Whispering Way. They'd most certainly be interested in him! Temerlyth could appear against stronger parities, as competitors for lycanthropic flesh. Remember, he likes to experiment...
The Sinister Secrets of Silvermote adventure also features an interesting NPC aristocrat whose nationality could certainly be made Ustalivic too ;)
Lex Talinis wrote: I have the Temerlyth the Undying and was plotting a means to throw him at my PCs - then I saw this. After downloading the teaser I'm excited. This is going to be pure awesome - looking forward to the release! I'd love to hear how it goes! Also, if you have any questions or anything once you read it over, don't hesitate to let us know! We have an awesome website to help support our fans and products: http://www.tpkgames.com!
Cheers,
Rich
d20pfsrd.com wrote: Necroblivion wrote: @d20pfsrd.com: Richard is a rock star, and really delivered the goods on this adventure. Also, drinking with TPK is a CR 9 hazard, so you may have some XP coming! Make sure to get Great Fortitude for Gen Con next year as you level! In my defense, I failed my Perception check and you guys got a surprise round in on me and you guys confirmed crits on every attack. Haha! You are all too kind. :)

Creighton Broadhurst wrote: Thanks very much for the review, Wizard, I much appreciate it. Out of interest, what would have made it a five-star product for you? Honestly, I had trouble deciding. There are certainly no flaws so it's a five star product as far as quality is concerned. I gave it four stars for basically two reasons: it fills a very small niche and the price is a little high when considering the small place it fills. Still, much effort went into this so it was certainly hard to judge. I liked most of the line art, the first piece (the cat) being the best. Not all the pieces are as good, but it just can't have been easy to fit the art to the text.
P.S. This is such a small thing but it was nice to see the word 'doddle' in use as well as real English spelling. Sometimes products lack personality or linguistic interest and so "Wondrous Treasures" was certainly not dry or dull either. I think you've also organized your product lines in a very thoughtful and intelligent way and I really do like the absence of flashy design.
Haha! Well considering that this all began in bar in Indianapolis, I believe you're right!
Creighton Broadhurst wrote: AWizardInDallas wrote:
It also seems like there's not enough reviewers. Do you all think that's true? I was even thinking about doing some reviews myself because there are some great (and inexpensive) products out there. I'm not sure how that would be received though. You are absolutely right. I'd happily provide free review copies to anyone who would give Raging Swan's products fair reviews. I deeply appreciate everyone who takes the time to review one of my products, but with more reviews come more opnions and more opportunities to create better products in the future! I just recently discover your stuff and would be happy to do a review in exchange for a copy. :)
jeremy.smith wrote: Speaking as a publisher: please, please, please post reviews. You are absolutely right that there aren't enough. If it's a good review, great! If it's a bad review, it gives insight into what to improve or fix. Win/win.
Speaking as a player: I tend to buy from Paizo if I'm not buying from a FLGS and the product is available at the Paizo site. For two reasons: first, it's the only place to get Paizo products online that I know of. Second: I know that Paizo gives 3PP a better rate than RPGNow or DriveThruRPG. ;)
Also, I want to mention that, while Psionics Expanded isn't in my game plans (I prefer psionics in my sci-fi and magic in my fantasy), I have looked at your work in the store and it's absolutely top notch and less expensive than most rule books. You can quote me on that. :)
jeremy.smith wrote: Speaking as a publisher: please, please, please post reviews. You are absolutely right that there aren't enough. If it's a good review, great! If it's a bad review, it gives insight into what to improve or fix. Win/win.
Speaking as a player: I tend to buy from Paizo if I'm not buying from a FLGS and the product is available at the Paizo site. For two reasons: first, it's the only place to get Paizo products online that I know of. Second: I know that Paizo gives 3PP a better rate than RPGNow or DriveThruRPG. ;)
Would it be considered a conflict of interest if, since I work for a game company, to review competing products. I've fair and balanced capability but don't want to cause myself or others any grief.
I was just wondering, where does everyone go to buy compatible stuff? I typically go to Paizo because I like having all my previous downloads available.
I've purchased from DriveThruRPG/RPGNow too, but usually only if it's not available here. I've never bought from EN World, but am discovering they have a lot of great things too. Are there other places everyone likes to shop for compatible products?
It also seems like there's not enough reviewers. Do you all think that's true? I was even thinking about doing some reviews myself because there are some great (and inexpensive) products out there. I'm not sure how that would be received though.
I recently wrote Temerlyth the Undying and as his author/creator I just have to say that... well, I am such marketing noob. Haha! I really would like to understand the gears of the 3PP world much better than I do.

I just wanted to say a few words about Temerlyth the Undying and about TPK Games in general. Though it isn't readily apparent from the product description I'm his humble creator. It may sound as though I'm bragging on myself, for which I apologize, but I just want to mention a couple of my personal accomplishments to help reassure about quality of this product. I'm really proud of my work on this despicable villain.
I participated in the RPG Superstar 2010 Contest and placed in the top 8--doesn't buy me a beer at the local house, but there it is. :)
Anyway you may recall my Needles of the Ebon Strand, my Splorudra or perhaps the Green Barrow, my round 8 map and adventure pitch. These were all favorites with some.
My name also appears in Ultimate Combat as one of the contributing designers (Richard A. Hunt... that's me!). This is also my very first work for a game company, other than as a contributor or in some old Dragon Magazine articles. I'd like to see Temerlyth's evil spread world wide... Muhahahah! *Ahem*
To close, we think Temerlyth came out so well, that I've also written his lair--what I hope will be our next major companion product. So what you'll be getting is just the tip of the iceberg! We have big plans to produce hundreds of weird and wonderful products--all simple to use, filled with old school goodness, built on the chassis of the best RPG system in the world and in some cases as dark and twisted as the hair in a demon's arm pit. Haha!

ShadowcatX wrote: So far my experience with 3PP has been fairly limited.
I don't know anything about TPK games, I haven't heard of y'all before, but I'm definitely looking for something on the dark side. Do y'all have a website? (Since the stuff won't be available here?)
We sure do! I attended GenCon this year and as a result hooked up with the guys at TPK Games. I made mention of my various skills and talents (in a bar in Indianapolis no less! Lol!) and, in short, later built a site and joined the team. Please check us out: TPK Games! The site is full featured in hopes of supporting our growing fan base.
Leopold wrote: ShadowcatX wrote: I don't know anything about TPK games, I haven't heard of y'all before, but I'm definitely looking for something on the dark side. Do y'all have a website? (Since the stuff won't be available here?) I've bought and reviewed TPK games material and so far I'm pleased with their later material as their early material as pretty as it was just wasn't upto snuff. Now their latest books you can see they are getting on a roll and it's come along nicely. The writing is solid, the layout is clean, and the big color artwork beautiful. There is nothing in there that doesn't need to be in there and it's packed in there cleanly. Very pleased with my purchases.
Raging swan press is another one like TPK games. Simple, easy to use, and full to the brim of everything you need and nothing you don't. Don't let that plain black front page fool you, if you need something in that book you'll end up saying "OH! I can use this too!" It's a veritable DM treasure trove of ideas. I just wanted to take this opportunity to say a little more about Total Party Kill Games. I apologize in advance if it sounds like I'm bragging on myself, but that's not the intent at all! Please let me assure you that I'm as humble as they come! It's just that there are no resumes or credentials, etc. and since I now work for TPK, I wanted to mention some of my personal accomplishments, with the obvious goal of hoping to influence folks to check us out!
While I mentioned above that I attended GenCon, prior to that I also participated in the RPG Superstar 2010 Contest and placed in the top 8 (as you can see by the text next to my name in this post. Lol!) I also wanted to mention that my name appears in Ultimate Combat as one of the contributing designers (Richard A. Hunt... that's me!).
So what's in store for the future? I wear so many hats at TPK it's hard to know where to start, but I will be writing for TPK most of all. I'll also be doing lots of maps too (I did the map for the most recent Tomb of Caragthax the Reaver scenario, our first offering in the Grave Undertakings product line). I'm the lead designer on two brand new products coming out very soon!
If you love recurring villains you're definitely going to want to take a look at our next Infamous Adversary, Temerlyth the Undying! If you're looking for a really dark, irredeemable soul Temerlyth fits the bill. An NPC from my own campaign, he is highly developed and ready to horrify your players! Apologies for sounding like an advertisement but he really is all that, IMHO!
What's also so special about this one is that we think he came out so well, that I also wrote a major companion product, a full-length adventure/lair starring this major bad guy! Also from my home campaign, it's very well developed too! While it can be played as an adventure it's really a major reusable site you can drop into any campaign!

Christopher Delvo wrote: I started a new game a few weeks ago, level 1, pretty standard stuff (20 point buy). There's a magus, a ranger, a fighter and a samurai. The only one without an 18 in strength is the magus. This has happened a few times. Not just with warriors and strength, but also with wizards and intelligence, sorcerers and charisma, etc.
And I am really getting tired of it. I can't pit standard enemies against these guys. I'm forced to throw things like bugbears against a level 1 party because they just shred everything else. And I do understand that it's a party of warriors, and that they normally shred enemies, but it's happened before with high save DCs and ridiculous rogue ACs.
How do I discourage this kind of character-building? I understand that everyone wants to be effective in combat. But "effective in combat" does not equal "meat grinder with legs." A warrior can be effective with a 14 or 16 at level 1.
Thanks in advance,
...Catch Phrase,
-Chris
I've used the same generation method for years and don't allow point buy characters. Each player is allowed to roll 4d4, drop the lowest die, in three sets of six. They get to pick the set they like best and arrange them as they please. :)
TripleDuck wrote: Is Google messing them up, or is there actually a problem with the links? I'm getting an error message "Sorry, we are unable to generate a view of the document at this time. Please try again later." Click edit, then it shows up. Then do download as suggested. :)
You may or may not remember me from Paizo's RPG Superstar 2010 contest. A lot of you liked my round 8 map submission from the contest so I thought I'd mention that I recently joined TPK Games and did the maps for this. :)

These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
I can't help but think of the symbionts and grafts from the D&D 3.5 Fiend Folio, so I'm on the fence about seeing this item as monster or magic item. That aside, your description of this nasty little thing is vivid and clear. I'm not crazy about the flanking penalty, which nets out at -1. I'd rather it just negate the flanking bonus, which is easier and seems more reasonable. If the braid had multiple tentacles or something like that I could see imposing a -2, but not as it stands.
I like that the braid takes advantage of the weak since that befits it's devilish nature, but "rips at target's face" seems like a targeted attack, which also seems sort of harsh/unfair since there really aren't any targeted attacks in the Pathfinder RPG. Combat is abstract. I see no need to make the blindness permanent; again, seems harsh, though I realize the blindness is curable. I'd just have the braid whip the target and cause temporary blindness.
I like that the braid does some harm to the wearer and that it takes advantage of the same weakness. As written, the costing/pricing seems too low for permanent blindness. I also like it that this item uses a head slot, which is kind of uncommon.
Overall, the description of this item is compelling and it's actually well thought out. A lot of my criticisms are more personal preference than flaws and with some re-pricing this is a good, solid, nasty thing. I can even accept it as a magic item rather than a monster or graft. :)
Deidre Tiriel wrote: This sounds a lot like the effects in The Little Mermaid. Anyone else notice this? *looks around* Ah, I'm not the only one.
I can't get past that on the first reading. An awesome archtype would probably get me to reread this and consider it more fully.
Ah! That was it! My daughter's 13 now; no wonder this eluded me. Haha!

These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
Hmm, this one's tough because it does have an interesting core concept--storing hit points. Unfortunately, the title doesn't match or just has no explanation at all. In this case, more fluff, beyond just a flaw in the stone, can only help the item's association with the title. The item should also better describe the transfer process, like holding the tear tightly in hand or just concentration or...? Also, I'd impose a rate of transfer so the process is interruptable and so this isn't item used during combat. The item also ought to have a hit point cap and/or a 2-to-1 transfer rate to prevent huge hit point transfers.
Also, wouldn't an hp transfer be painful in some way? I mean hit points aren't just a number, they're a measure of how much physical punishment a being can take, so how the gem makes the user feel after a transfer seems important. Again, a sudden hit point drain--seems like it would painful, just like being hit with a blade, whereas a more gradual transfer might not be. The recipient should probably feel some sort of negative effects too (nausea or temporary fatigue), at least for a minute or two; the item doesn't have the instant comfort of a healing spell after all. I like that the gem doesn't hold points forever, but there are a lot of details missing; you had the word count and should have used more of it.
Overall, this item just seems incomplete, even though the concept is cool. This could be an interesting unselfish clerical item with a lot more work.
Eric Bailey wrote: I think that while this item's mechanics are not terribly noteworthy, the design space that you chose here shows off your creative potential. This item would be cooler and have broader appeal it it were upgraded to a torch and then could help (in a very minor way) with more than haunts--ghosts, spectres and other incorporeal undead. I agree with Eric that you do show some creative promise though. :)

Trevor Merback wrote: Well I had the concept for this item before I even new about RPG Superstar and I really didn't expect to make it. I did design this item with the Loony Toons portable hole in mind, largely because the 3.5 and Pathfinder portable hole doesn't function like that. I was less focused on an ability and more focused on a new and interesting item and I'm rather fond of the peeling holes off a bag idea.
Lord Magus wrote: However, if you create a 10x10 pit in a square adjacent to you (where you toss the hole), won't you risk ending up in the pit? Quite inconvenient. I had intended that you would set it down so as to be adjacent to a 10x10 pit.
Once again thank you all for you comments and feedback.
I think this would be a cooler item if you could slide the hole along the ground, sort of like a paper thin Frisbee, under your target, then have it open up. Another thing that would make this item more unique is if you could "load it" with a "portable trap," instead of the trap in the item being static. :)

These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
Here is another item with a unique core concept--make your enemies bleeding worse than it already is. Wow, that's just mean, man. :) This would be a great way to add some distinction to a villain.
The title is too modern/scientific though. Referencing the ancient and medieval practice of bloodletting would make for a far better title--bloodletter's gloves. Barbers (like Sweeney Todd... oooh gloves of the demon barber) and surgeons performed this function in the Middle Ages too and were sometimes called "leeches," so any of those might be good in the title as well. I like the CSI quality of the gloves. That means good adventurers can still use them for investigation without taking advantage of its less savory function. I'd like to see the gloves impart some kind of bonus to tracking a bleeding creature beyond its 30 ft. range. I can also see a player trying to split the gloves up so it probably ought to be mentioned that they have to be used together or not at all.
Overall, this is clever, well-executed magic item. Well done. :)

These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
Another exciting alchemical item with a great core concept--create a poison and its antidote at the same time. I love the "weal" and "woe" detail and that the vials are replaceable. I'm not sure how attractive stuffing a Gargantuan heart into this thing would be, but at 5 lbs., it's quite reasonable that the item expands to hold it. The mental picture of stuffing a heart into a magic item is also sweetly, antique store disturbing, but then I like magic items when there is some revulsion, ugliness or sacrifice to using them.
I'm pleased that this doesn't rely on the tired old extradimensional space to function. This is a downtime item and I like that too. At first, I thought you contradicted yourself by saying that the antidote works for an hour and that both work until used, but a second read cleared that up for me. Finally, I like it that you didn't go the scientific route and make venom sacs the requirement--the beast's heart, the poison of its soul makes the juices. Well done.
The costing is iffy, but admittedly hard to gauge. The aura should probably radiate some necromancy too and it seems like the construction requirements should also include poison, since this thing creates both a poison and antidote.
Overall, this it a great magic item!
These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
This item is awesome! What a great core concept--now you really can be in two places at once. Haha! I love this item for its sheer ingenuity. While the title as it stands is quite cool, a more accurate and relevant title might be talisman of juxtaposition or talisman of synchronized juxtaposition (which is admittedly a geeky mouthful), since you use that word in the text more than once.
Anyway the writing is tight, the pricing/costing seems maybe a little low, but the construction requirements speak volumes about what's going on with this thing. I can't find any immediate holes in your restriction logic either. What I especially love it that this item doesn't rely on shadows or illusions or mirror image or any of that. Both the wearer and counterpart are the real McCoy and that's just cool. :)
Overall, I love this item a bunch!

These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
The main problem with this item is that it doesn't really have a core concept behind it, or at least not one of its own. Instead, it emulates the functions of other items and puts them in one place, namely portable holes and portable traps. While I like that it brings these two functions together, making them temporary and disposable, I think part of the contest is to come up with something new and original and this item doesn't seem to accomplish that. In addition, the portable trap function should probably have used the standard trap format rather than descriptive text. I get that the idea is maybe to slide a pit under your foes, which is cool idea, but it doesn't really seem to work out that way as written.
The last sentence is a tacked on oddity, as it doesn't seem likely anyone's going to repair a grungy old bag. The results of trying to use make whole seem harsh; I'd just have the spell not affect the bag at all and leave it at that. It's good that you thought of someone attempting to fix the bag though.
The construction requirements are way too light and should include levitate (for when the pit lifts its victims to safety on dissipation). The pricing/costing is too low for an item this powerful, even though it's essentially disposable, at 10 uses.
Overall, this item isn't really an item on its own.
Keith Savage wrote: Richard: I'm thinking he rounded down from 680 feet (the max range of a 7th caster level dimension door). But I agree, a nice even number like 500 feet works better for me too. Yeah you're probably right. :)

These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
The core concept behind this item is interesting, but the item itself bothers me a good deal. It appears to prevent the execution of several relatively high level spells at an extremely low price/cost, animate dead and raise dead, just to name a couple. The item needs to specify all of the spells and effects it prevents too. As written, this item would cause some player arguments since there's a lot of wiggle room for interpretation.
Vampires are also formidable opponents, yet this item stops a victim from rising cold, which for me is a plot buster, again, at way too low a price/cost. The within "one hour of death" requirement isn't all that much of a restriction since any cleric in the party can just slip a wafer to a dead party member on the spot. The only other spell in the core rulebook that prevents raise dead is soul bind and that's a 9th level spell. This item just doesn't seem to play fair for the price/cost. Frankly, every good temple in the land would be baking these bad boys up and handing them out free, with a good chance of wiping out one of the more horrifying key abilities of many undead monsters.
I see no real reason why these would be restricted to Pharasma. I'm sure they'd share the recipe with other good faiths wanting to keep undead permanently at bay. The construction requirements are way light.
Overall, I like the core concept but not the item itself. :(

These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
This is a very cool item with a great core concept--"bread crumbs" plus a one-shot, disposable dimension door. The fact that the skein is translucent rather contradicts the item's title though. Maybe the idea comes from the silver cord that trails someone on the astral plane. I'd change the title to drop the veiled, probably unintentional association with the wrong plane. I like the relatively low cost for a very useful one-time dimension door. As a GM, I like its disposablity. This could easily become a classic rogue babble, handed out by an employer before a big job.
This was little confusing: "The silver skein is functionally infinite in length as long as the holder remains within 650 ft. of the location where it was tied." My inner geek gets it now, but I think this could have been explained in simpler terms, with greater clarity and you had some word count left. I'm left wondering why the range is 650 ft. and not an even 500 ft. or something like that.
Since the item is mostly harmless and of one-shot use I'm comfortable with the price/cost, though I still think it might be a tad low.
Overall, this a solid item with a great core idea. You'll want to sharpen your formatting skills though (capitalization in the stats and construction requirements) for future rounds and try to avoid those nasty passive sentences.

These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
This magic item rocks! I even like the grossly understated title. This is a well-executed entry, very well thought out and polished. There's some good stuff going on here. There are no obvious rule holes, except whether Disarm or Steal would succeed in removing the viper, perhaps. We don't know how tightly the viper holds on. My only other worry is that some might see this as monster in magic item form.
I really like that the alchemist's viper is both picturesque yet creepy at the same time and that using it causes damage, though ability damage might be just as good or better than hit points (Con damage comes to mind). I like the reasonably high DC for the save too. Bonus points for making something new for the Advanced Player's Guide. The costing feels right, as do the construction requirements; 1 lb. seems heavy since a potion is just 1 ounce though.
Overall, this is strong entry and one of my favorites so far. :)

These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
Unfortunately, I don't care much for this item for several reasons. First, it seems to riff off Spelljammer and beholders. Since there are no official rules for space travel in the Pathfinder RPG this seems like more of a nostalgia item.
Second, this seems more like a monster in glass form and its effects are somewhat disappointing. There are plenty of things in the game that already that cause Wisdom damage. Even though you didn't go with the beholder's antimagic effect, the eye is still very strongly reminiscent of void dwelling beholder-kind. Seeing powers more related to void, vacuum, stars or something of that nature would have been more inventive. Lesser planar binding seems like an odd choice for construction requirements, since outer space not the planes is where the eye comes from. The costing/pricing is iffy.
Overall, this is a weak entry. I'd rather see the monster this came from than the magic item. :(

These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
The first sentence made me laugh. I just had a hard time seeing a tastefully presented bug cocoon. (You're at the prom... "Hey, you have a bug thing on your lapel.") "Chrysalis" would be a more attractive word choice and I'm not crazy about the title. Oh well. In any case, the core concept is solid, though I'm sure I've seen this somewhere before and most certainly in a movie or other game material. That certainly doesn't invalidate the idea though.
The range seems a bit odd. It seems overlong, an arbitrary number of feet. The DC seems low, though appropriate for the low cost/price. Since lesser restoration has no effect on the corsage, I'm left wondering if the spell empties the cocoon or if the cocoon still houses a duplicate of the voice. Once the cocoon unfurls it also seems like the butterfly is particularly vulnerable to attack or capture, though the item doesn't really address that. Just a bit of burning hands and *poof*.
The mention of Varisian fortune-telling should be dropped since this really isn't part of the item's function or isn't covered anywhere.
I think you missed the boat just a little with regard to benefits. Although the ones you do have are nice, they seem to be of limited use except for maybe the Disguise bonus (which is plenty big). Another good benefit would be to steal the victim's Perform (sing) or Perform (oratory) skills or perhaps even a bard ability (the price/cost definitely goes up in this case).
Chelaxian's enjoy a bit of opera and I can imagine a plot wherein a rival steals a famous opera singer's operatic talents too. I love magic items that might weave into a unique plot so well done on that score. Again, I'm not sure what movie or book the idea comes from but stealing someone's singing voice is sort of a classic, faerie tale idea and this item has a faerie tale feel. Stealing a singing talent ought to be there.
There are a few minor holes in getting the voice back to the victim. The distance from the butterfly when it's crushed isn't considered, so whether a victim is 1,000 miles away or even on another plane, the conditions for getting his voice back are a little incomplete. Also, crushing it is probably not the only option. This also seems somewhat sacrilegious considering Desna is mentioned, though it depends on who does the crushing, of course.
It seems like the construction requirements need a butterfly, but that's not exactly standard magic item building practice. :)
Overall, I like the concept well enough for consideration in my game, but the item needs some sharpening.

These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
I like the imagery this item conjures up, even though the prose is awkward in places. I like the title too, though I'm sure there's a better one. The core concept is interesting--a ranged combat maneuver. By the way, invoking a command word item doesn't provoke an attack of opportunity, so you're safe not mentioning that.
Unfortunately, the item is too weak, especially for the too-high price/cost and since it's a once per day item of limited use. More importantly, since a falcon is a Tiny bird it probably doesn't stand much chance of success at Disarm or Steal, even with the CMB +16 bonus (which is a bit of a cheat without solid explanation in the item). The item also doesn't really address what happens if the shadow falcon is attacked, in either onyx or bird form, which is still possible say with a Readied action. This leaves us to use the construction requirements to backtrack into stats for the falcon (going with a hawk's stats in the Bestiary). A falcon is statistically weak, and a shadow falcon even moreso, making it more of a one-round nuisance than anything else.
Personally, I'd have gone with a Dirty Trick, like clawing the target's eyes for some temporary blindness or some other sort of meddling. What really bothers me though is that a ranged Disarm or Steal has a better chance of success without a magic item at all. A summon natures ally I spell, a trained familiar, trained animal companion or even a trained pet can do the same thing and all more than once per day. This is not to mention the host of available illusion spells.
Overall, this item falls apart for me. Ultimately, it sounds to me like one round of shadow conjuration in a can.
These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
This is a nice, tight and moderately inventive item. The title is a little strange and seems not to fit well. Admittedly, I had to grab my online thesaurus, which is sorta bad during play. I'd drop the hide from undead construction requirement and use detect undead, since the candle helps notice a haunt. However, the costing is perfect since this is a minor, relatively limited-use item. Overall, this is a good entry. Sorry to say though, that it just doesn't holler superstar.

These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
Interesting item; I'm not crazy about the title and there's quite a bit of fluff to wade through; I like the core concept though--a ki receptacle. However, meditating for five hours to store five points for the benefit of only +1d6 fire damage for a maximum of five rounds seems weak to me. The text describing the number of rounds and expenditure of ki points per round is clunky (had to read it a few times and I'm still not 100% sure).
Now, if you could expend one ki point and get five rounds of fire, then the item might be worth five hours of meditation or make meditating for only one hour for a gain of five rounds of fire more practical. As written, the monk must spend too much down time to gain the benefits of more than one round of fire. If I'm a monk, I'm working too dang hard for that +1d6 worth of fire. The item would also be far more versatile if other energy types were possible, though I realize you mean the item to have a deserty feel.
The costing/pricing is too high for the lack-luster benefits and I'd remove "flame strike or fireball" from the construction requirements. In addition, a monk would have to be the item's maker, since one of the construction requirements is ki pool. This troubles me, because a monk wishing to make this item would have to burn precious feat slots (normally reserved for cool monk combat feats) on Master Craftsman and Craft Wondrous Item, and then find a spell caster for the spell requirements, or multiclass as a sorcerer or wizard. As a player, if this is one of the few things I can make, I wouldn't bother creating this unless the benefits were much stronger.
Overall, this is a weak item, even though I like the core concept.

These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
Great item name--nothing like a mental double take to introduce an item. I love the core concept. The potion quantities are a bit confused though. You seem to mean that a potion is 5 ounces by the item's definition, but two may be combined in only an 8-ounce space rather than a 10-ounce space? A single potion vial holds only 1 ounce (per the potion section in the core rulebook and the equipment description of a vial), so the flask needs only a 2-ounce space to mix it up.
The quantities need some clarification. I'd reduce the extradimensional (not nondimensional) spaces to 5 ounces each; I can't tell how big the 5 spaces really are, but 25-ounces is the weight of 75 gp and that's a lot of OJ! At 5 ounces, the spaces are then capable of holding five, 1-ounce doses of the same potion while the regular flask space can hold 2-ounces (accommodating 1 potion, 2 doses of the same potion or a mix of 2 different potions or other liquids), unless you intend to allow loading more than one mixed dose, of course. Note that five, 5-ounce spaces also fits your item name, numerically.
Pointing the dial "at two different sections" should probably be "between two sections." (On reread while posting this I missed that there are two dials entirely.) As an old AD&D guy I can appreciate that you're trying out some minor potion miscibility effects (sickened). However, I'd allow a saving throw and downgrade sickened to nauseated on a success and no effect on a success if the result exceeds the DC by 5+ (some people just have an iron stomach); you could set the DC medium-high if you want the flask to sicken more frequently.
While there aren't any serious, official miscibility rules for the Pathfinder RPG (that I'm aware of), you might still mention that the item allows the safe mixing of two potions and leave it at that, just in case. The pricing/costing might also be too low, considering you can organize a large collection of potions (or other useful liquids) in one place. It depends on how you resolve the "dance of ounces" though. :)
Overall, this is a solid, useful, inventive, even ingenious, item. I'd want one. :)

These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
The item name is cool, though silver or copper are more conductive metals and would fit in better with the electricity theme (and there's already an "iron bands" item). Bronze dragons also breathe electricity and are metallic in nature, so make another (good-aligned) fitting name change option. Whether the possessor gains resistance to electricity 5 just for having (holding?) the sphere or only with activation, since this is mentioned up front, is a bit unclear.
The "aura of electricity" power is essentially shocking grasp with a 5 foot range; it would help simplify and tighten the item to mention shocking grasp and use its mechanics. Whether this power is active or passive is a bit unclear. It sounds like it causes damage at activation no matter what, then only at the user's option after that, which makes me wonder what action type is required to spark it off, seems like a waste of a standard action for just 1d6 damage, unless you zap a wad of goblins. I think this power is passive to avoid hitting nearby allies but some clarification would be good. Ten rounds a day also sounds excessive, given the pricing/costing (see below).
The next two paragraphs are where the core concept shines. Adding some fluff about electrical dragon wings would be more in keeping with the item's name and would make moving (i.e. flying) by lightning seem more blue dragon-like. Moving via a lightning bolt is quite cool though; this should be a move action rather than a standard action since it's movement. If spell resistance stops the bolt, I wonder if a successful save would too. If stopped by SR, I think the user should take his lumps--2d6 and save for half damage--not negates (rogues could still escape damage altogether).
The pricing/costing is way too low for the power this item supplies (forgive the pun). Lightning bolt and shocking grasp should both be in the construction requirements. As written, elemental aura doesn't fit and shocking grasp does, but using elemental aura works too if you up the item damage to 2d6. Overall, I like this item and I'd want one. This is a strong entry, a good, solid, useful combat toy. Yummy.

These are my comments before reading the comments of the judges or others:
The item name seems a bit over the top. Why is necromancy part of the aura? The core concept is of definite interest but the item seems to have too many options or they're just a touch confusing. Having a holy symbol inside the lantern seems like an unnecessary requirement; just allow the cleric to channel through the lantern and skip requiring a material component since this is a magic item and already requires channel energy for activation.
Use the daylight spell verbatim, for simplicity sake, instead of cutting the bright light radius in half or just make it operate as a normal hooded lantern until the cleric uses one of its more active functions. Giving a cleric a free light source just for being able to channel energy wouldn't be too big a deal. The 400 feet range option seems really, really far for just a tiny 5-foot circle of light (the cleric would have to see at longbow ranges, probably in darkness).
Also, since the cleric is limited to a number of channelings per day, let that stand as its number of uses or allow it to shine only without active channeling for a number of rounds (3 + Wisdom modifier of the activating cleric sounds good). This would allow multiple clerics to use it. The lantern should consecrate the area instead; a minor Will save penalty seems like a somewhat weak benefit, IMHO. The craft requirements should include the daylight spell, since this is the core spell the lantern is based on. The pricing/costing seems a little high for a relatively minor benefit. (Unfortunately, having the lantern consecrate drags it toward spell-in-a-can territory). How many times per day can a cleric without the Glory domain use channel energy through the lantern?
The core concept really shines and I like this item; the 60 foot cone seems like the most useful option though. This would make a great standard light source in a recurring temple setting. Any cleric walking down the hall could just activate it when the zombies come looking for pie. I see no reason to limit it to only good and neutral alignments though. An evil version (darkness/desecrate) could be just as useful. :)
Clark, I for one will miss you as judge! We need judges that can look forward as well as look back and catch those occasional classic vibes from gaming tradition, especially those that still remain relevant and cool. Fortunately, I think Ryan's just as well dialed in and that your interests are well represented by the judging panel overall. Nonetheless, I guarantee that your unique wit, analytical ability and down to earth viewpoint will be missed.
The Annihilator
Aura: Major Evocation CL: 20
Slot: -- Price: priceless! duh!? Wt: 2 lbs. of flaming death!
Description
For over 500 years the game has been the same, but now a new chess piece has arrived! And it will blow you away! THE ANNIHILATOR! Forged from the fires of Hell and officially sanctioned by the World Chess Federation! So, where is the Annihilator allowed to move on the board? Anywhere it [insert deity and profane expletive here] well wants to move!* The Annihilator! Chess just got punched in the face!
*Can still be moved even after check mate!!!
Requirements: Craft Nuclear Death; Cost you can't afford it!
The Annihilator!
(Credit: Demetri Martin)
Huzzah! This is my Superbowl! :)
Wow. Just wow. This made my day. :)
Nicolas Quimby wrote: Requiring it to destroy the target's armor is both rather harsh and somewhat unrealistic (armor at that level will probably have over a hundred hit points, assuming that the splors deal full damage and ignore hardness, which isn't specified). On the other hand, armor doesn't have to be completely destroyed in order to have a gaping hole in it (see the 'broken' condition)
I like the fluid-sucking splors (eww), the tremorsense tongue, and many of the other details you've added or expanded upon since the original writeup. Overall this looks well considered, quite usable, and yet still crazy-fun. :)
"If the victim's armor isn't destroyed," implies that the armor does have a chance of making it through the encounter with a hole in it. Actually character gear isn't destroyed enough in my opinion. Adventuring is a risky business. Characters should be dirty, smelly, banged up and need to buy new gear when they get back to town. :)
Thanks once again for the kudos!

Nicolas Quimby wrote: I just wanted to repeat that I really did like the Barrow (not just for the map, which was gorgeous, but for the seriously cool and quintessentially high-fantasy image which you evoked). Reading it gives me the same impression that I got when I first saw the sploruda: "Holy crap, there's a lot going on here and I don't understand why, but I don't care it's awesome".
Seeing what you did to tighten up the sploruda makes me really curious as to what it would look like if you took the same unrushed care to explain yourself here, taking it room by room and encounter by encounter to show us what it all means and why its all there. Not that I need that to appreciate the creativity here. I play D&D because I want to go to places like this.
(Ideally to kill their inhabitants, take their stuff, and then set off for more places like this. That's how players show their love. :))
Thanks! You've paid me the highest praise possible for an adventure idea. I want the fantastic or the deal's off for me. Fighting the town guard or a bunch of rats (there are way too many adventures centering around rats or wererats) is just dull to me. I want an interesting mix of monsters, a fantastic locale, a bizarre villain and twists and turns. Give me fantasy or give me death. :)
Yes
"The amount and type of damage varies and is given in the creature's statistics. A swallowed creature keeps the grappled condition, while the creature that did the swallowing does not. A swallowed creature can try to cut its way free with any light slashing or piercing weapon (the amount of cutting damage required to get free is equal to 1/10 the creature’s total hit points), or it can just try to escape the grapple."

One of these ought to be a nice challenge:
Eye of the Deep (CR 8)
Tome of Horrors 1 Revised (190) (Conversion)
XP 4,800
LE Medium aberration (aquatic)
Init +4; Senses all-around vision, darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +13
DEFENSE ===============
AC 15, touch 10, flat-footed 15 (+5 nautral)
hp 65 (10d8+20 hp)
Fort +5 Ref +5 Will +10
OFFENSE ===============
Speed 5 ft., swim 20 ft.
Melee 2 claws +2 (2d4)
Special Attacks constrict 2d4, eye rays +7 ranged touch, improved grab, stun cone
STATISTICS ===============
Str 10, Dex 10, Con 14, Int 12, Wis 13, Cha 13
Base Attack +7; CMB +7; CMD 17
Feats Flyby Attack, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Lightning Reflexes
Skills Escape Artist +11, Intimidate +12, Perception +13, Stealth +12, Survival +12, Swim +11
ECOLOGY ===============
Environment any aquatic
Organization solitary, pair, or cluster (3-6)
Treasure standard
SPECIAL ABILITIES ===============
Constrict (Ex) On a successful grapple check, an eye of the deep deals 2d4 points of damage.
Eye Rays (Su) Each of the creature’s eyes stalks can produce a magical ray once per round as a free action. The creature can aim both of its eye rays in any direction. Each of its eye rays resembles a spell cast by a 12th-level caster and follows the rules for
a ray (see Aiming a Spell in the PHB). Each eye ray has a range of 150 feet and a save DC of 17. The save DC is Constitution-based.
Hold Person: Left eye—the target must succeed on a Will save or be affected as though by the spell. An eye of the deep will use this ray early in a fight so as to disable its opponents.
Hold Monster: Right eye—the target must succeed on a Will save or be affected as though by the spell. This is used in the same manner as the hold person ray.
Minor Image: By combining the rays of both eyes, the eye of the deep can replicate the minor image spell.
Improved Grab (Ex) To use this ability, an eye of the deep must hit with a claw attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can constrict.
Stun Cone (Su) An eye of the deep’s central eye can, once per round, produce a cone extending straight ahead from its front to a range of 30 feet. Creatures in the area must succeed on a DC 17 Fortitude save or be stunned for 2d4 rounds. The save DC is Constitution-based.
All-Around Vision (Ex) Eyes of the deep are exceptionally alert and circumspect. Their eyes give them a +4 racial bonus to Spot and Search checks, and they cannot be flanked.
Add in some barracudas too:
Advanced Barracuda (Medium) (CR 3)
Tome of Horrors 1 Revised (428) (Conversion)
XP 800
N Medium animal (aquatic)
Init +3; Senses low-light vision, scent; Perception +10
DEFENSE ===============
AC 14, touch 14, flat-footed 11 (+3 Dex, +1 natural)
hp 18 (4d8 hp)
Fort +4 Ref +7 Will +2
OFFENSE ===============
Speed 70 ft.
Melee bite +6 (1d6+1)
STATISTICS ===============
Str 12, Dex 16, Con 11, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
Base Attack +3; CMB +4; CMD 17 (cannot be tripped)
Feats Alertness, Weapon Finesse
Skills Perception +10, Stealth +7, Swim (Dexterity) +18; Racial Modifiers +8 Swim
ECOLOGY ===============
Environment any aquatic
Organization pair, pack (2-5), or school (6-11)
Treasure none

Stealing software is also a repeated pattern of behavior, one that makes things more expensive for legitimate buyers like me. There are plenty of scumbags out there stealing Paizo material too. I receive Google news alerts all the time with links to bit torrent sites with Pathfinder materials made available as well as supposed hacks of Hero Lab. This sort of behavior is far more reprehensible and wide spread. Frankly, if you don't like a company's business setup then don't do business with them. It's absurd in this day and (electronic) age to insist that a company be available during business hours like a bank, especially for a small shop. Do you have any idea how much it would cost them just to have someone man a phone for 40 hours a week just for the 10-12 phone calls they'd probably get?
Have I been inconvenienced by Hero Lab's DRM, yes I have, right before session time as a matter of fact. Is it worth it? Yes it is, especially if they can continue to keep the price of their software down by stopping the heinous piracy that goes on and on.
I absolutely cannot wait to see what this is all about. I'm sure it'll be well worth the wait. I've been using Hero Lab for a couple of years now and it's awesome! :)
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