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Apostle of Gygax, Tue, Jan 27, 2009, 01:54 PM

Okay, after having fun in another thread spouting off a wacky and completely made up conspiracy theory, I had a though. I bet the combined imagination of this board could come up with some pretty crazy and entertaining conspiracy theories. So let's here what you have to say on the subject. And just for the record, Gary is not dead. he is in hiding preparing to lead the resistance when the undead armies of Planet Orcus arrive.


Crimson Jester, Thu, Jan 29, 2009, 07:48 PM

Great idea: I got nothen'


drunken_nomad (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Modules Subscriber), Thu, Jan 29, 2009, 11:53 PM

Peanut butter just got nailed again. I think Little Debbie/Chester 'Cheetoh' Cheetah are behind all the 'healthy' foods getting sabotaged! Spinach, carrots, peanut butter all get recalled. Never hear about Zingers getting recalled, do ya?


Kruelaid (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Chronicles, Pathfinder Companion, Planet Stories Subscriber), Thu, Jan 29, 2009, 11:57 PM

Drunken Nomad. I am your real father.


A 2E Floppy-Eared Golem, Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 12:27 AM

I am actually extremely conservative. That's my conspiracy theory. Wrap your head around it. Oh, and smurf.


The 8th Dwarf, Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 03:54 AM

Apostle of Gygax wrote: Okay, after having fun in another thread spouting off a wacky and completely made up conspiracy theory, I had a though. I bet the combined imagination of this board could come up with some pretty crazy and entertaining conspiracy theories. So let's here what you have to say on the subject. And just for the record, Gary is not dead. he is in hiding preparing to lead the resistance when the undead armies of Planet Orcus arrive. Bummer I thought it was about real Conspiracy Theories, Like the Illuminati, The Gnomes of Zurich, the Rosicrucians, The Antarctic Space Nazi's, and the Triumvirate. Any way everybody knows that Gary and Elvis run a fast food franchise in Oodnadatta. They are secretly preparing to defend the earth from the arrival of one of the Elder Evils - Gnarlyhotep. Oh yeh they keep JFK's living brain in a Jar so he can provide psychic support. Kurt, Jimi, Buddy and Heath are the fire support team.


Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 04:20 AM

My co-workers are out to get me.


Evil Monkey, Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 04:27 AM

Sentient programs have awoken deep within the Internet and are now beaming hypnotic messages through MMORPGs to millions of unsuspecting players. Soon they will activate their mind control, causing mass hysteria. Ultimately they plan to use their zombified minions to build massive factories to create Terminator-style robots to inhabit and hunt humans for sport.


drunken_nomad (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Modules Subscriber), Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 05:14 AM

Kruelaid wrote: Drunken Nomad. I am your real father. You're Ace Frehley?


Torillan (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber), Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 05:17 AM

"The Matrix" was actually a documentary...


David Fryer, Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 05:20 AM

Aberzombie wrote: My co-workers are out to get me. This is supposed to be about conspiracy theories. It's not a theroy if it's true.


Emperor7 (Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 06:56 AM

You ever wonder why you never see Michael Jackson and Sebastian in the same room at the same time?


Patrick Curtin (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Chronicles Subscriber), Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 07:07 AM

drunken_nomad wrote: Kruelaid wrote: Drunken Nomad. I am your real father. You're Ace Frehley? Kruelaid is actually an Ace Frehley clone who was created in the Seventies by the Partie Quebecois in an attempt to gather the worlds formost rock talent together to form an über band to perform catchy separatist rock songs to facilitate Quebec's independence. Fortunately for Canada, the plot was discovered in time by the Canadian Office Concerning Clones and the Bureau of Unusual Ley Lines. Once COCC and BULL both broke the story, the despondent separatist plotters spirited the clones away to their main ally, China, where they remain to this day, plotting their eventual return while performing massive air-guitar sessions.


Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 09:42 AM

David Fryer wrote: Aberzombie wrote: My co-workers are out to get me. This is supposed to be about conspiracy theories. It's not a theroy if it's true. What is a theroy? And, does it having anything to do with vampiric midgets?


Labradoodle, Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 10:04 AM

speaks into his collar He suspects something. We must take action, activate the fnord cannon.


3961yoCcMD, Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 10:47 AM

.pot no yats yeht erus ekam nac yeht ,dlrow gnihsilbup eht nwo yeht ecnO .sdnatsrednu esle eno on taht yaw a ni etacinummoc ydaerla yehT .sdrawkcab gnihtyreve tnirp dna dlrow gnihsilbup eht revo ekat lliw elpoep cixelsyD


Kermit the Half-Fiend Frog, Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 10:51 AM

That is crazy.


DMcCoy1693 (Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber), Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 11:24 AM

Kermit the Half-Fiend Frog wrote: That is crazy. It's just a theory.


Cuchulainn, Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 12:13 PM

I sure that there is a connection between the serious drop in the Japanese birth-rate and the rise of piracy in Somolia. See what happens when ninjas stop breeding?


Lipto the Shiv, Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 01:02 PM

Cuchulainn wrote: I sure that there is a connection between the serious drop in the Japanese birth-rate and the rise of piracy in Somolia. See what happens when ninjas stop breeding? But surely a rise in piracy is good? It is after all the only way to combat global warming.


Evil Monkey, Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 01:14 PM

In fact the Illuminati have bankrolled the Somalian pirates to drive the price of oil up while simultaneously diverting millions of barrels of crude to their Antarctic redoubt they 'inherited' from the Nazis. Those ozone destroying pulse generators need a lot of fuel after all...


houstonderek, Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 01:27 PM

Patrick Curtin wrote: drunken_nomad wrote: Kruelaid wrote: Drunken Nomad. I am your real father. You're Ace Frehley? Kruelaid is actually an Ace Frehley clone who was created in the Seventies by the Partie Quebecois in an attempt to gather the worlds formost rock talent together to form an über band to perform catchy separatist rock songs to facilitate Quebec's independence. Fortunately for Canada, the plot was discovered in time by the Canadian Office Concerning Clones and the Bureau of Unusual Ley Lines. Once COCC and BULL both broke the story, the despondent separatist plotters spirited the clones away to their main ally, China, where they remain to this day, plotting their eventual return while performing massive air-guitar sessions. Funny, I thought the conspiracy was foiled by the fact that, once you cross the border to the north, you no longer rock... Yes, Canada, thank you for Nickleback. Your reward will be swift and merciless...


Evil Monkey, Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 03:07 PM

OOOOO ... SNIZZLE-AP!


drunken_nomad (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Modules Subscriber), Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 08:14 PM

houstonderek wrote: Funny, I thought the conspiracy was foiled by the fact that, once you cross the border to the north, you no longer rock... Yes, Canada, thank you for Nickleback. Your reward will be swift and merciless... Nickleback is for gettin some, thats all. I thought youd be killed by RUSH defenders by now, but I guess they're all too smoked up to login tonight. Canada also spawned the Guess Who! Mahogany Rush. HELIX! Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet (Kids in the Hall theme!) and then theres Loverboy, Yikes. Im gonna cheat and look on wiki: April Wine and Trooper and Arcade Fire. 3 inches of Blood! Triumph! Crowbar. The Band, Neil Young and Steppenwolf (maybe?). Voivod and Skinny Puppy (wouldve never guessed either of these). Im not sure Id call him rock, but I really like Gordon Lightfoots "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald". and I know Im shooting myself in the foot with these, but I also like Killer Dwarfs, Kick Axe, Headpins, Thousand Foot Krutch, Exciter, Rhinoceros, some of Sum41s stuff (particularly the Pain for Pleasure 'jokey' stuff). And WHITNEY HOUSTON! had talent at one time, but this is my fav clip of the trainwreck she became. Alright so the rockin is rarer up north, but its very alive! It seems there was another band that VanHalen had as openers way back when on their first worldwide tour and there was a fisticuffs over the opening bands singer wearing mukluks and Diamond Dave wouldnt go on unless this dude didnt wear his native footwear. My search-fu is weak tonight and I cannot find the name of the band. -------------------------------- My newest conspiracy is gas prices. So why is it that within minutes of each other does every gas pump in town all go up a dime at a time and come down only a few cents (or sometimes only ONE CENT?) at a time. Even though our govt has probed to find if there are incidents of gouging? My guess is a vast cb radio network among the OTR tanker-trucks!


houstonderek, Fri, Jan 30, 2009, 10:49 PM

I forgot Sum 41 was from Canada!!! EVEN MORE REASONS TO GO TO DEFCON 5!!!!! Was the other band you were thinking of Triumph, by any chance? And, just to nip the Rush fans in the bud (so to speak), um, Rush "progs" or something. They do not "rock". I refer you to the penultimate scene in SLC Punk. (Of course, I kept playing D&D after I discovered...wait, I had Ramones and Stooges albums before I ever played D&D...never mind...) I'll give you Voivod and Skinny Puppy. They rock.


A 2E Floppy-Eared Golem, Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 01:06 AM

Smurfs are from Canada.


Traveller Smurf, Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 02:00 AM

Actually we smurfs are from Belgium


Emperor7 (Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 09:54 AM

Celine Dion is from Canada.


A 2E Floppy-Eared Golem, Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 10:02 AM

Traveller Smurf wrote: Actually we smurfs are from Belgium Canada is Belgium, and the Illuminati control them both.


A 2E Floppy-Eared Golem, Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 10:04 AM

Emperor7 wrote: Celine Dion is from Canada. Celine Dion is Elvis. S/he's controlled by remote, from Area 51, where Dick Cheney putters around with Dr. Evil and the villain from Inspector Gadget. You know, the one with the villain voice and the cat, and whose face we never see. That's actually Celine Dion, btw.


A 2E Floppy-Eared Golem, Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 10:04 AM

And the cat is from Belgium.


Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 02:36 PM

Belgium isn't really a country. It is actually another dimension, embedded in our own reality.


Mairkurion {tm} (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 02:54 PM

Have I told you guys recently how much I love Belgium? Because I do. It may be my favorite country I've never been too.


houstonderek, Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 04:11 PM

Belgian waffles are cool. Other than that, I got nuthin'. Celine Dion. Wow. Between her, Sum 41, Nickleback and Avril Lavine, I'm thinking that Canada should appear before the War Crimes Tribunal in The Hague...


Patrick Curtin (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Chronicles Subscriber), Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 04:24 PM

Say where did Destiny's Child come from again?


Heathansson, Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 04:28 PM

Patrick Curtin wrote: Say where did Destiny's Child come from again? Houston, Texas. Where everything bad comes from.


houstonderek, Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 04:37 PM

Well, yeah. I can't say anything about that. Well, I can say ONE thing... Beyonce is much more bootylicious than either Celine Dion or Avril Lavine. :) Sir Mixalot plays softly in the backround..."I like big butts and I cannot lie..."


houstonderek, Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 04:38 PM

Patrick Curtin wrote: Say where did Destiny's Child come from again? Wait. I will say something. One band. Against the constant onslaught of pablum passing as music coming from the Great White North...


Patrick Curtin (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Chronicles Subscriber), Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 06:17 PM

houstonderek wrote: Patrick Curtin wrote: Say where did Destiny's Child come from again? Wait. I will say something. One band. Against the constant onslaught of pablum passing as music coming from the Great White North... One city's shame versus an entire nation? C'mon. Must I search for the many shamefull musical excesses of the Lone Star State?


flash_cxxi (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32), Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 06:21 PM

Patrick Curtin wrote: One city's shame versus an entire nation? C'mon. Must I search for the many shamefull musical excesses of the Lone Star State? Search??? Just raid Heathy's CD collection... ;)-


Mairkurion {tm} (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 06:44 PM

HD: Beer and Chocolate


Heathansson, Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 06:47 PM

flash_cxxi wrote: Patrick Curtin wrote: One city's shame versus an entire nation? C'mon. Must I search for the many shamefull musical excesses of the Lone Star State? Search??? Just raid Heathy's CD collection... ;)- Oh yeah. Miles Davis, Stan Getz, and John Coltrane....total suckage, that.


flash_cxxi (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32), Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 06:49 PM

Heathansson wrote: flash_cxxi wrote: Patrick Curtin wrote: One city's shame versus an entire nation? C'mon. Must I search for the many shamefull musical excesses of the Lone Star State? Search??? Just raid Heathy's CD collection... ;)- Oh yeah. Miles Davis, Stan Getz, and John Coltrane....total suckage, that. Bit of a Jazz man Heathy... nice.


Mairkurion {tm} (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 07:07 PM

Dayum. Heathy does have great taste in music. But just because people brought up TX music...hmmm. ZZ Top, Stevie Ray Vaughn (whose super cute niece I went to school with), Roy Orbison, Buddy Holly, Scott Joplin, T-Bone Walker, Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys, Norah Jones, hey, that oughta warm things up


Davi The Eccentric, Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 07:08 PM

As you could see from This thread, our world and the Paizo-Messageboard-world are slowly merging. The question is, why? What would anyone have to gain from this? And what of the aliases? Am I going to start putting on a mask and have kleptomania? Mankind may never know.


Patrick Curtin (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Chronicles Subscriber), Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 07:12 PM

Got nothing but respect for my Texas brethren. Did a three-year strech in Texas' desert paradise, El Paso. Merely defending my Canadian kin who take a lot of grief for cheezy bands. Every place in America sports much cheeze. My home area is no exception (NKOTB anyone? <shudder>).


Mairkurion {tm} (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Sat, Jan 31, 2009, 07:25 PM

I like Canadians: they kept the crown. Of course, they talk funny, but hey... Edit: Hey Davi, you're right. I see the true significance of that story, now.


Heathansson, Sun, Feb 1, 2009, 08:56 AM

Heathansson wrote: flash_cxxi wrote: Patrick Curtin wrote: One city's shame versus an entire nation? C'mon. Must I search for the many shamefull musical excesses of the Lone Star State? Search??? Just raid Heathy's CD collection... ;)- Oh yeah. Miles Davis, Stan Getz, and John Coltrane....total suckage, that. Sam Rivers was playing Gainesville, Fl every year or two for like $10. My dad with the music major, making me listen to good stuff along with Dio and Judas Priest.


Set, Sun, Feb 1, 2009, 09:15 AM

drunken_nomad wrote: Im not sure Id call him rock, but I really like Gordon Lightfoots "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald". When I was little, I got words mixed up and referred to that song as "The Wreck of the Ella Fitzgerald." My mom was like, "Hey, she doesn't drink that much..." My conspiracy-theory-of-the-moment is that Fox decided that former X-Files fans wouldn't accept Fringe, but would cling to their old favorite, so they deliberately released a truly abominably craptacular X-Files movie the summer before Fringe started, to snap the old X-Files fans out of their nostalgic love for the show and open them up to the possibility of accepting Fringe as it's spiritual successor. So yeah, that's my theory, that X-Files 2 sucked deliberately, so that it's fanbase would give Fringe a chance. :)