Brothers and sisters, the Chelish devil-kissers are gathering in coven in this very messageboard. It falls to us, the true civilization of the Inner Sea, to counter them.

Announce yourself, and help yourself to cucumber sandwiches.

Nice party.

<Offers a flask of whiskey>

Whiskey?

I'd take some whiskey.

<Passes the flask>

Single malt.

Sil winds her way between tables serving drinks and sandwiches, the perfect hafling servant.

I love how no other Taldans posted here! Just SPIES!!! SPIES!!! So it begins! MUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!

Whiskey, Nick?

Sil pads by on soft furry feet to pour whiskey for the two gentlemen, pausing just long enough to cath a snippet of conversation.

I suspect this room is filled with Taldans. HUNDREDS OF THEM.

Nick, it's because the Taldans know when they're beaten. We, their better, younger, and more-equipped successors will take over for them as rightful rulers of Golarion.

OK, so we're only technically ruling in the stead of our Infernal overlords, but what's your point? :D

Hah! Age and cunning will always beat youth and talent.

And when it comes to the appreciation of the good things in life and livining in style ... well ... I think you'll agree we win hands down.

[Pathfinder 1772]

Whose assignment was it to ensure that the festivities were not interrupted by our... less socially aware friends? How are we to reassert civilization if WE CANNOT EVEN GUARD A DOOR!?

Whose assignment was it to ensure that the festivities were not interrupted by our... less socially aware friends? How are we to reassert civilization if WE CANNOT EVEN GUARD A DOOR!?

Exactly my point. Your "civilization" is a sham. Let your betters take control. Our masters can offer you so many wonderful rewards, and for such a piddling cost, too.

Whose assignment was it to ensure that the festivities were not interrupted by our... less socially aware friends? How are we to reassert civilization if WE CANNOT EVEN GUARD A DOOR!?

Thats because the guards got into an argument are getting satisfaction right as we speak,

Trey wrote:

Whose assignment was it to ensure that the festivities were not interrupted by our... less socially aware friends? How are we to reassert civilization if WE CANNOT EVEN GUARD A DOOR!?

Exactly my point. Your "civilization" is a sham. Let your betters take control. Our masters can offer you so many wonderful rewards, and for such a piddling cost, too.

Thank you for your solicitude, my friend, but my inquiry was addressed toward those in the room whose immortal souls rate a value rather higher than "piddling." Pray, do try not to interrupt.

And for the love of all that is holy, who is this Logue fellow and why does he seem to have a finger in every pie?

Ahh. It is quite nice to be in the company of other civilized sorts. Look at all of these nasty intruders. I imagine it has everything to do with how good looking we are.

Or perhaps they think we have some great secrets to tell. Of course we do, but they'd never know we were sharing them now would they.

Ah the finer arts of subtlety, so misunderstood by those ruffians of Cheliax or Andoren.

Whiskey?

<Offers the flask>

<inspects the flask>

Or what passes for it these days. Shouldn't you be somewhere burning something?

We've started a barbecue in our thread. We have room for you. :D

Sil quietly continues serving drinks, remembering that the servant's entrance in the rear was definitely unguarded.

Step to, halfling. You don't get paid extra for that thoughtful look on your face. And do please stop serving the good vintage to the gate crashers. The silver-rimmed goblets are for the representatives of the houses, all else get bronze-rimmed. Did not the majorodomo instruct you? I...

Oh for... Andorans! Yes, you over there! The fountain is NOT for washing up!

Move on, halfling.

Alarmed by notice even being taken of her, Sil stumbles and almost drops the tray of Taldan crystal goblets. Recovering her poise, she quickly rearranges the goblets on the tray, and scurries back to her duties. 'That was close.'

I say, I say, all these uncouth civilians spoiling our lovely garden party. For shame, I say.

Tea and crumpets, anyone? And servants, dismiss these uncouth people. Harumph.

Now brothers and sister, be kind to our less fortunate compatriots. We are all still Pathfinders, aren't we? Perhaps they come seeking to hear the Good News of Rovagug from one who has heard His voice directly. The least we can do for these devil-kissers, hand-counters, mummy-slaves, and money-grubbers is show them how one is to act in polite society. Besides, they will probably grow bored and wander off once the entertainment starts - I have arranged a performance of the "Song of Sarkoris", performed by refugees from Drezen itself.

Rovagug? Is you head full of spiders? I mean that's going too far and too weird, even for our standards!

Ah, my Chelish brother, your devil-lords have clouded your mind. You find so-called happiness in slavery, where Rovagug offers us a holocaust of absolute freedom. He will tear down this broken world, freeing our souls from this prison, bringing us the bliss of unity with the divine. I would be happy to explain his Good News in further detail, if you'd just like to have a seat over here...

Please, I do so enjoy a good cucumber sandwich and mint julip. Thank you for such a delightful buffet. I have to have the contact information for your event planner. This hummus is to die for! Is your cook a Qadiran?

Oh, we have quests! Do please tell us of your recent travels. It is just so *fascinating* to hear the thrilling accounts from our neighbors on their "empire building". <Snicker> Aren't they so adorable everyone?

Brothers and sisters, the Chelish devil-kissers are gathering in coven in this very messageboard. It falls to us, the true civilization of the Inner Sea, to counter them.

Announce yourself, and help yourself to cucumber sandwiches.

Announce myself I do.

Thanks for the sandwiches!
So Tandor's earthly analogue is the U.K.?

[PF 1850]

Seebo Marnig wrote:

Brothers and sisters, the Chelish devil-kissers are gathering in coven in this very messageboard. It falls to us, the true civilization of the Inner Sea, to counter them.

Announce yourself, and help yourself to cucumber sandwiches.

Announce myself I do.

Give away my affiliation? What's the fun of doing so? ;)

Thanks for the sandwiches!
So Tandor's earthly analogue is the U.K.?

[PF 1850]

I was thinking there was a bit of the Byzantine in there, too.

Rovagug is nothing more than a cockroach squashed under the heel of our master's boot. It would seem our feeble counterparts from that ridiculously insignificant collection of dandys and old men that call themselves Taldan, don't understand their own insignificance. All souls ultimately belong to the master, some just come to that realization later than others. No matter. My brothers and I will be glad to draw up the paperwork to allow you to enjoy the same power and riches the enlightened obtain through their partnership with the master.

Rovagug is nothing more than a cockroach squashed under the heel of our master's boot. It would seem our feeble counterparts from that ridiculously insignificant collection of dandys and old men that call themselves Taldan, don't understand their own insignificance. All souls ultimately belong to the master, some just come to that realization later than others. No matter. My brothers and I will be glad to draw up the paperwork to allow you to enjoy the same power and riches the enlightened obtain through their partnership with the master.

You seem parched after your rant. Might I offer you an Aperitif? Garcon! Something bubbly for my friend here.

Guennarr wrote:

(...) So Tandor's earthly analogue is the U.K.?

[PF 1850]

I was thinking there was a bit of the Byzantine in there, too.

Both analogues don't bode well for Taldor's chances of reacquiring their old position. ;)

Still as mentioned elsewhere: Certainly the most exclusive - aahhm fraction to choose.

Cheers,
Günther

EDIT P.S.
Maybe there is also a bit of ancient Greece in it - a lot of squabbling, tendencies of hedonism (at least in the later upper class) and such a rich heritage its descendants are still feeding on...
Taldor is definitely an interesting choice.

It is just so *fascinating* to hear the thrilling accounts from our neighbors on their "empire building". <Snicker> Aren't they so adorable everyone?

Somebody has to, since you lot are apparently willing to sit by and let your empire disintegrate, as long as the food is still being prepared up to your standards. Our masters actually give us drive, even if it is the drive of the lash... meanwhile your whole faction will probably have to be lucky just to survive to Cycle 1.

Latest member of Taldan faction reporting for duty.

Our empire might collapse, but at least we will look good doing it!

Now, Tea and Crumpets for our new member.

I suspect this room is filled with Taldans. HUNDREDS OF THEM.

I keep my friends closer and my enemies closer. My family hasn't survived this long by being effite fools. Sure we've had our share of pompous braggarts, but they were sacrificed on an assassin's blade to ensure that the rest of my family would prosper.

And those devil-worphipers will fall to their corrupt evil ways.
Taldor will prosper again.. Taldor prevails!

Now, Tea and Crumpets for our new member.

Come to our barbecue!

Joshua J. Frost wrote:

I suspect this room is filled with Taldans. HUNDREDS OF THEM.

I keep my friends closer and my enemies closer. My family hasn't survived this long by being effite fools. Sure we've had our share of pompous braggarts, but they were sacrificed on an assassin's blade to ensure that the rest of my family would prosper.

And those devil-worphipers will fall to their corrupt evil ways.
Taldor will prosper again.. Taldor prevails!

Huzzah!

*streaks through naked with his body painted blue and white* WOOOO ANDORAN!

*streaks through naked with his body painted blue and white* WOOOO ANDORAN!

You'd be a very nice addition to our barbecue.

Such vulgarity coming out those backwoodsman.

I personally believe our empire can be salvage. Noone has anywhere near our level of sophistication. These newcomers dont know anything about empire. They'll see.

They'll all see.

Such vulgarity coming out those backwoodsman.

I personally believe our empire can be salvage. Noone has anywhere near our level of sophistication. These newcomers dont know anything about empire. They'll see.

They'll all see.

There, there. You can also come to our barbecue.

Such vulgarity coming out those backwoodsman.

I personally believe our empire can be salvage. Noone has anywhere near our level of sophistication. These newcomers dont know anything about empire. They'll see.

They'll all see.

Like attracts like. It is your low moral fibre that draws these savages to you.

Fellow servants of our beloved Grand Prince, mark this day well. Today we turn our exceptional and noble energies away from petty squabbles between houses and begin the true renewal of Taldor's ancient empire and reconciliation of the lands once freed from chaos by our grand Armies of Exploration.

Today we call home our wayward children: Cheliax, who's experiments with independence left them defenseless against the tyranny of Osmodeus, and Andoran, whose naive and ultimately self-centered notions of individual freedom leave them with nothing even resembling a true government. At heart they are Taldoran, and we must help them understand that.

Our resurgence may be opposed by the other nations. Osirion will certainly see any move toward unity around the Inner Sea as a threat. Fortunately for us, the Osirians are heirs and adherents to a culture so ancient it cannot truly be called a civilization. They are a scattered population of opportunists gelded by their own obsessions with ancient glories and dormant gods. Qidara may be a threat, but in the end is only a shadow puppet cast by the unfathomable gestures of the Padishah and his more powerful satraps. If we keep watch far to the east, we will know what the Qadiri will do next before even they know.

It will not be easy, friends, but the wine is well aged, and the table is certainly set in our favor.

- Arregus Estanos Thaygurat, Minister of the Third Entropic Chamber and Bound Timekeeper of the Reformation.

Osmodeus? I am sorry, but do mean The Lord of the Nine, Asmodeus.

Other than that, please come to our barbeque. We have delicious meats and drinks. And cake too!

Ah, a feast! What fun. Please welcome our admiring and jealous neighbors, offer them some wine... and prawns with sauce... Please, don't worry about the taste, it is merely a strange and exotic spice, meant to, uhm..., enliven your culinary experience!

Ah, a feast! What fun. Please welcome our admiring and jealous neighbors, offer them some wine... and prawns with sauce... Please, don't worry about the taste, it is merely a strange and exotic spice, meant to, uhm..., enliven your culinary experience!

These prawn are delightful! Please try some our cake...Devil's Food of course.

All of you foreign rabble keep your distance from my esteemed employers, the nobles of Taldor. Set foot where you aren't welcome, and you will lose that foot.

All of you foreign rabble keep your distance from my esteemed employers, the nobles of Taldor. Set foot where you aren't welcome, and you will lose that foot.

You too are welcome at our barbecue. You'll find that there is a great deal to gain without even giving up your foot. All we want is that soul you aren't using anyway. It is worth it for the company of the Erinyes we brought along for the occasion.