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I really, really like the goblin song. The only problem is that there’s only one of them. So I wrote another.
Goblins don’t like writing so they often teach other goblins how to do something by making up a song. This song teaches a goblin how to get one of its favorite meals. The reference to badger stink refers to their practice of using the scent of wild animals to lure guard dogs away.
Post more goblin songs if you’ve got them!
Sneaking Song
Goblins sneak and goblins hide,
Goblins hunt when it’s dark outside,
Out of the forest, through the trees,
Goblins quiet in the leaves.
Goblins sneak and goblins harm,
Goblins find a lonely farm,
Badger stink and poison bone,
Kill the dog away from home.
Goblins sneak and goblins hide,
Goblins know how to get inside,
Down the chimney, up the loo,
Goblins know just what to do.
Goblins sneak and goblins spy,
Goblins listen for baby’s cry,
Find the crib and climb beneath,
Draw the blade and lick your teeth.
Goblins sneak and goblins hide
Goblins climb up inside,
Must be quick with shiny knife,
Never wake-up farmer’s wife.
Goblins sneak and goblins see
Goblins know when to flee,
Stuff the baby into sack,
Run from room, don’t look back.
Goblins sneak and goblins hide,
Goblins hunt when it’s dark outside,
Deep in the forest, out of sight,
Goblins eat tasty baby tonight.
I really, really like the goblin song. The only problem is that there’s only one of them. So I wrote another.
Goblins don’t like writing so they often teach other goblins how to do something by making up a song. This song teaches a goblin how to get one of its favorite meals. The reference to badger stink refers to their practice of using the scent of wild animals to lure guard dogs away.
Post more goblin songs if you’ve got them!
Sneaking Song
*snip*
Wow. Somebody has issues...
Other than that, it made me smile, and made me want to use it in my games. Morbid and sweet. YAY!
/d
The Horse Chant
Nasty breath and nasty feet
Trample goblins in the peat!
Big square teeth and he can fight
Kill a goblin with a bite!
Cannot kill him with brute force
O ho! How we hate the horse!
Sneaky sneaky in the stall
See him standing o so tall!
Pull his tail and twist his mane
See him spit and twist in pain!
Run and run! Scramble, race!
Lead him on a merry chase!
He not see the cliff at night
Goblins eat until daylight!
Tasty tasty meat of course!
O ho! How we love the horse!
Raiding song, second verse:
Feast until you are filled
Upon the corpses goblins killed!
Search the pockets
Steal their stuff!
Goblins never get enough!
Burn the building
Slip inside!
Where the humies
Try to hide!
Drink their blood!
Slake your thirst!
Have some mercy
Kill them first!
When the humies start to fight
Stick the goodies in a sack!
We disappear into the night
Silly humies, we'll be back!
<repeat from beginning>
Sneaking Song...
Goblins sneak and goblins spy,
Goblins listen for baby’s cry,
Find the crib and climb beneath,
Draw the blade and lick your teeth....
This verse was creepy. Wonderful transition from a general sense of house-breaking and raiding to the very specific image of a particular goblin under a particular baby's crib. Brrrrrr <shiver!>
The Dogslicer Song
Goblins need a blade to fight,
Scare the doggies with our might.
A rusty blade should do the trick,
Their mangy hides we mean to nick.
Into the trash we must dig,
To find a blade not too small or big.
Into the mounds we will dig deep,
Out with a blade we will creep.
A rusty blade to cut their hides,
Dig it deep into their sides.
Look at the mess that we have made,
With our fine new dogslicer blade.
Let us not forget the Goblin Gamers Song:
Goblins eat your house and home,
Goblins eat your garden gnomes,
Next time it's your gaming night
Lock the door, and bar it tight.
Goblins curse your stupid dice.
Goblins don't eat beans or rice.
Guard your toes and gird your feet;
Goblins like the nerdly meat.
Goblins steal the nacho chips,
Goblins claim the bestest dips,
Watch you as you cry, "boo hoo,"
Goblins stole your Mountain Dew.
Goblins swarm and goblins kick,
Goblins poke with goblin sticks,
Ha! You rolled a natural one!
Goblins find this lots of fun.
Goblins watch with beady eyes,
Goblins eye your curly fries,
As you fall into their trap,
Goblins eat then take a nap.
Goblins burp and goblins stink,
Goblins don't have time to think,
They're just here to nab your food,
Goblins blame that other dude.
Goblins like your treats and snacks,
Goblins fill up doggie snacks,
Goblins steal the yummy treats--
You came to game, they're here to eat.
"Ninty nine Goblins with spears on the wall. Ninty nine Goblins with spears. You knock one down, you kick him around, Ninty eight Goblins with spears on the wall..." Oh wait, you meant songs for the Goblins to sing? My bad.
Is it just me or do I feel a Touch of 'Kobolds ate my Baby' in these new goblins? Maybe a hint of Darklings from 'The Darkness' Comic Book? I love it! This is how I've played my Goblins for years!
Reckless
(Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Roleplaying Game, Campaign Setting, Companion, Battles Case Subscriber)
"Foot-Trap Laying Song"
When it's dark and humans sleep,
on the shadowed path we creep.
Tracks of boots and horses 'round,
is where we dig in the soft ground.
Careful with the dirt on top;
set it aside. Don't break and drop.
The trap we put the earth upon,
to hide the pointy sticks till dawn.
Dig it half as you are tall,
so human boots are sure to fall.
In the bottom drive the sticks,
so feets and hooves get lots of pricks!
Mesh of twigs to hold the dirt
that hides our pretty goblin work.
If all looks flat and plain in light,
humans fall; we did it right!
Bad grammar, missing connecting words... this might be something a goblin could manage in Common.
Bugbear drum circles.
Seriously, think of all the cliched scenes where the heroes hear "the beating of the savage tom-toms" coming from the woods/jungle prior to the screaming horde attack... Bugbears are big hairy savages, right?
In the South Pacific they have these big slit-drums, that are made by hollowing out an entire tree-trunk. You have to whack it pretty hard, so playing one is a rather athletic workout (like Taiko drumming), but you can feel the rumble in your guts (subsonics) and hear it for miles.
And for that matter, I *could* see hobgoblins doing play recitals. They're supposed to be really Lawful, right? A lot of people have done "hobgoblins as Romans", but I have this mental image of hobgoblins like evil samurai - instead of flower arranging, you have severed-head arranging. Instead of tea ceremony, you have eating-the-enemy's-liver ceremony. And Noh plays - or rather, "Oh No!" plays, filled with cunning double-crosses, triple-agents, quadruple-bypasses (without anesthetic), and frequent "ironic" surprise deaths.
Bugbear drum circles.
Seriously, think of all the cliched scenes where the heroes hear "the beating of the savage tom-toms" coming from the woods/jungle prior to the screaming horde attack... Bugbears are big hairy savages, right?
In the South Pacific they have these big slit-drums, that are made by hollowing out an entire tree-trunk. You have to whack it pretty hard, so playing one is a rather athletic workout (like Taiko drumming), but you can feel the rumble in your guts (subsonics) and hear it for miles.
OOOHH. Bugbear drummer-bard PrC with Class Abilities to demoralize and instill fear in foes.
I'm just sayin...
My posts were only half-joking. I could see hobgoblins performing plays and the like (poetry recitals, evil ballads, etc). If you look at their mental stats they are equal to humans so it's not that much of a stretch. I've always been somewhat perplexed as to why hobgoblins haven't achieved the same degree of success as elves and dwarves. That's one of the few reasons I like Eberron. Hobgoblins were responsible for one of the most successful empires in history and are a force even today. In fact, I've always pictured hobgoblins as a strange cross between Romulans and Klingons.
Yes, there's definitely a whopping great KAMB vibe going on here, and good on ye for it. Keep it up!
The tune to this is the same as the original gablin raiding song.
Which, for me, is from the old Rankin and Bass _Hobbit_ animated feature, when the dwarves are dining in Bilbo Baggins homeChanted quietly to cause paranoia and panic
– Usually by twenty or more unseen goblins chanting in unison
The Goblin Terror Song
You will cry and you will moan
Goblins come into your home
Goblins hide where you can’t hear
Goblins pounce and bite your ear
Goblins hide when longshanks come
Goblins smart and you be dumb
Goblins hide where you can’t see
You can’t run and you can’t flee
You will scream and you will run
Goblins chase you down for fun
Goblins hide where you can’t spy
Goblins snatch and gouge your eye
Goblins creep and Goblins crawl
Goblins come when baby bawls
Goblins hide where you can’t find
Upon you flesh we goblins dine
=-=-
Sung to the tune of ‘Hush Little Baby’
http://www.kididdles.com/lyrics/h012.html
A traditional song for the warden of the goblin nurseries, Goblins have discovered this has an unnerving effect on other races, although they aren’t sure why.
Goblin Lullaby
Stifle the baby wrap it in togs
Feed it flesh of the longshank dogs
When it cries and wants to eat
Let it fight for a tasty treat
If the thing should fail and die
Let the next one have a try
If it wants to eat again
Throw a rat into its pen
Soaked with blood in its cage
Poke and pinch it to enrage
Then give it a blade or sharp razor
And let it play with the prisoners
=-=-
~fin
And for that matter, I *could* see hobgoblins doing play recitals. They're supposed to be really Lawful, right? A lot of people have done "hobgoblins as Romans", but I have this mental image of hobgoblins like evil samurai - instead of flower arranging, you have severed-head arranging.
Actually, funny story; there's this guy I know who has this 2e campaign setting where, basically, humans are pretty much extinct, except for the time misplaced ones. One of them, who was called Mannin Shades, met hobgoblins, and after becoming their leader or something, mentioned that they reminded him of Klingons. So...
... Okay, stupid story. Next up for Goblin Idol!
Goblins flee and goblins run,
Hide in trees from wicked sun.
Longshanks chase with nasty dogs,
chase the goblins into bogs.
Boggy ground and boggy air,
But the goblins do not care.
Hunters chase the goblins round,
Never seeing pits in ground!
Trappers now the trapped they be,
While the goblins dance with glee!
Heads get smashed and longshanks dead,
And goblin bellies soon get fed!
Bugbear drum circles.
Seriously, think of all the cliched scenes where the heroes hear "the beating of the savage tom-toms" coming from the woods/jungle prior to the screaming horde attack... Bugbears are big hairy savages, right?
In the South Pacific they have these big slit-drums, that are made by hollowing out an entire tree-trunk. You have to whack it pretty hard, so playing one is a rather athletic workout (like Taiko drumming), but you can feel the rumble in your guts (subsonics) and hear it for miles.
Bugbear BONGO-GRAMS!
Yes, I just watched "George of the Jungle". Sue me.
Goblin Glassworks Song (used it in game play)
Goblins crack and goblins smash
Goblins like to break your glass
From below we sneak and hide
Melt the father of our guide.
Kill the workers, cut them up
Burn them parts, it brings good luck
We the Goblins, you the prey
We torch you good the goblin way.
A player retaliated..taunting the goblins...
'Goblins lurk and goblins hide,
Into Sandpoint, where they died!
No glory to the Goblin Head,
Nor ballads, for, your Sons be Dead!
Desna travels and Desna Sees...
Goblins die, Des-nah de-crees!'
