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gee willikers, Wally! If dad
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does nothing about this, he
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sure as Gehenna will be
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surprised when the hand reaches
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66, for that's the hour
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it is fated to become
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a giant wax statue of
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a wang. Meanwhile, the congressman
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representing the Abyss received a
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huge kickback from infernal lobbyists
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Someone alert the NY Post!
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The corrupt congressman had arranged
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meetings with congressional pages in
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the Wells of Darkness, and
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according to abyssal e-mail records,
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souls had been traded without
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proper paperwork or release forms.
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Worse, the abyssal pages were
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infected with Mummy Rot, causing
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unexpected and unpleasant withering of
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appendages. With a sigh of
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relief that his visitors were
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finally leaving, the bartender of
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Skullrot put the "CLOSED" sign
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on, which consisted of screaming
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quasits trapped in acid vats
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screaming, "don't come in here!"
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, before sneaking out the secret
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passage that leads to the
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wine cellar. Abyssal grapes waiting
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to be stomped upon glistened
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like fresh toddlers' eyeballs. "Let's
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take off our shoes before
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squashing these tender fruit, as
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our footwear is covered with
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cleats.", he said aloud. "Holy
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socks should be thrown in
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with unholy socks to produce
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neutral socks." "What???", said Orcus.
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"I don't even wear socks!
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They don't stay up on
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my goat-leg ankles! Furthermore, I
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detest garb in general; for
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my physique mustn't be covered
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because I know everybody wants
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you, by Billy Squier, is
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great for torturing damned souls."
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Those Orcus was speaking to,
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watching him in trepidation, removed
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his rhinestone studded Orcuswand holster
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