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a distant realm, vowing not
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to return until he found
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the legendary artifact, eluded to
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in the Demonomicon of Iggwilv
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as the key to defeating
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the cruel invaders threatening to
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plant the Abyss with daisies.
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Alas, for his quest was
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hatched from a mad egg,
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poached in boiling chaos water
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and steeped in monkey froth.
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Orcus gnashed his teeth, cursing
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his incompetent underlings' failure to
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foresee this herbally insipid threat
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"That goddess and her idiot lover...
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will pay the price of
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two souls for their interference!"
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The demon lord at last
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passed gas of the most
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stalactite melting potency. It was
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also how akilith demons were
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summoned, beckoned to his audience
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by the foul stench of
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his post-alimentary fumings of
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half-digested abyssal cheese. Such snacks
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got from the udders of
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fiendish dire cows of death
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"Oh, summon wretches... there are
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those who need steel stabbed
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into their soft bellies! Go
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forth with knives for havoc,
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bury your steely blades in
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my foe and his get,
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then return here with their
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charge, for which you shall
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be richly rewarded!" Gibbering excitedly,
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the throng of copiously fanged
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and taloned otherworldly abominations gathered
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to sally forth at Orcus'
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command, leaving only the disgruntled
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Palace Guard to tidy up
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the overexcited demons' mess. Snickering,
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Orcus looked upon the departing
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bounty hunters with high hopes
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that demigod and faery prince
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would meet with swift, messy
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deaths, and swift resurrections as
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flumphs and various other abberations
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as Orcus' mad whimsy commands.
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However, the artifact-hunting prince
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