Day 5 -- Late Evening

I've been working on the car. I attached all my handsaws to the sides, teeth out. That should do some slashing damage. That crate of lubricant I have sitting around the house for no particular reason should take care of clingers. Hope its not flammable. ... Mmm, says "inflammable" that's good then.

I thought about spikes on the front but that might just give me some unwanted passengers. What else could I do to turn this Cobalt into a MadMaxified zombie assault vehicle.

...

Man, ... that religious weirdo with the shiny symbol just stood up in the crowd of zombies again. Man doesn't know when to lie down and play dead. Maybe I can pick him up on the way out ... tomorrow ... if he's still alive.

Day 5 -- Late Evening

I've been working on the car. I attached all my handsaws to the sides, teeth out. That should do some slashing damage. That crate of lubricant I have sitting around the house for no particular reason should take care of clingers. Hope its not flammable. ... Mmm, says "inflammable" that's good then.

I thought about spikes on the front but that might just give me some unwanted passengers. What else could I do to turn this Cobalt into a MadMaxified zombie assault vehicle.

...

Man, ... that religious weirdo with the shiny symbol just stood up in the crowd of zombies again. Man doesn't know when to lie down and play dead. Maybe I can pick him up on the way out ... tomorrow ... if he's still alive.

Have you considered mounting a 50 cal. to the top? Your son would really enjoy mowing down the zombies with it, and it would be a great lesson in biology when the get ripped open.

Oh... wait he hasn't escaped quite yet. My bad. Well I'll distract these zombies until he's ready!

*Tries to get the zombies attention, then runs around the neighborhood with as many zombies as he can attract, going back and forth erratically*

One of us, one of us.

Oh... wait he hasn't escaped quite yet. My bad. Well I'll distract these zombies until he's ready!

*Tries to get the zombies attention, then runs around the neighborhood with as many zombies as he can attract, going back and forth erratically*

Day 5 -- Late evening.

That man is a nut.

I must have been seeing things. What drove by us, if it wasn't this house's inhabitant?

I must have been seeing things. What drove by us, if it wasn't this house's inhabitant?

Maybe Casper the Brain Eating Ghost?

Oh... wait he hasn't escaped quite yet. My bad. Well I'll distract these zombies until he's ready!

*Tries to get the zombies attention, then runs around the neighborhood with as many zombies as he can attract, going back and forth erratically*

*eats Holy Warrior's brain*

Donuts.......................
Yummy Doughnuts

Holy Warrior wrote:

Oh... wait he hasn't escaped quite yet. My bad. Well I'll distract these zombies until he's ready!

*Tries to get the zombies attention, then runs around the neighborhood with as many zombies as he can attract, going back and forth erratically*

*eats Holy Warrior's brain*

Day 5 -- Night

That was ... horrifying. I wish the streetlamps weren't still functioning. I didn't need to see that. Tomorrow, I'm getting out of here. Without coffee, I will be a zombie.

<Does the "I'm a little [coffee]pot" dance>

*deflates Tarren's tires*

You might wanna try a snowplow. They're used for zombie control in the summer months 'round here. The plow, well, plows real good and the dumptruck back makes a great place for passengers with rifles to shoot from...or wing stale doughnuts.

The Cruller is the best doughnut for throwing. The rifled sides can be sharpened and get decent skull penetration when thrown by a skilled baker.

Stale Timbits are usually used by small children with slingshots or the old fashioned slings.

{typing:} "Harold 'Tarren' Crick went to bed that night with dreams of a morning roadtrip to freedom and delicious coffee. Unfortunately, he was ill-prepared for the tragic events that would actually transpire."

{typing:} "Harold 'Tarren' Crick went to bed that night with dreams of a morning roadtrip to freedom and delicious coffee. Unfortunately, he was ill-prepared for the tragic events that would actually transpire."

*Stabs author and steals book*

Why is Queen Latifah bashing that kobold's head repeatedly against the wall like that?

*deflates Tarren's tires*

Day 6 -- just after midnight.

Going to get some sleep now. When I wake, I'm going to Timmies for some coffee. Then, I'm going to kill some zombies.

But, first things first.

Damn ghosts.

Donuts.......................

Yummy Doughnuts

Heh heh...What's the difference between donuts and deernuts? Donuts are $5.00 for a dozen. Deernuts are under a buck!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ah ha ha....

Brainnnnnssss.....

Brainnnnssss.....

SPLOOOORRRRTCH.....

Day 6 -- Morning

This is it. I'm getting out of here. My Chevrolet Cobalt is beginning to look like something a man would drive. I've got my Gerber XL Axe on the front seat beside me. I've put Xuttah's anti-zombie CD in my Boss Audio 745BA 320W 20W x 4 chan. CD-R/CD-RW/MP3 Car Audio Player. Now, time to start the car, open the garage door, and hit play.

Wait? How would a ghost eat someones brain anyway? Well as a devoted follower of Pelor I don't need my brain to survive anyway! There's no need to think when the word of Pelor tells me all I need to know! Rather useful against such creatures as zombies and mind flayers you know. Still this is rather disconcerting so I'll get a Restoration as soon as possible. So anyway I'll make a last ditch stand against these undead monstrosities in hopes of ensuring the escape of the poor innocent soul who has been beset by these zombies for so long. For Pelor!

*Charges into the fray, turning undead and swinging with his mace*

Hey buddy! Watch where you're swinging that thing! Do I come to your parties and swing big metal weapons at your head? No! So come on and give us a break. We're trying to work here.

Day 6 -- Morning

This is it. I'm getting out of here. My Chevrolet Cobalt is beginning to look like something a man would drive. I've got my Gerber XL Axe on the front seat beside me. I've put Xuttah's anti-zombie CD in my Boss Audio 745BA 320W 20W x 4 chan. CD-R/CD-RW/MP3 Car Audio Player. Now, time to start the car, open the garage door, and hit play.

That is a fine choice of axe! That's the problem with the shambling dead, they don't leave you alone unless you axe them nicely. I use a hand made garden edger that's been in the family since the outbreak of 1918. Lots of notches on Ol' Betsy, I can tell ya!

Good luck, and save me a double double!

Fun Canadian Fact of the Day: Double Double is, like most Canadian slang, a phrase that was coined in last great zombie war. It refers to when you cleave two zombies with a melee weapon; one of the backswing and one on the return. Two motions, two zombies. Double Double. :)

Also, the term Iced Cap refers to decapitating a stench in a particularly cool way.

I use a hand made garden edger that's been in the family since the outbreak of 1918. Lots of notches on Ol' Betsy, I can tell ya!

I'm guessing the notches are from all the times you ran away in fear, fell down, and hit the thing on the concrete?

I'm guessing the notches are from all the times you ran away in fear, fell down, and hit the thing on the concrete?

Tee hee! You're so funny! I may have to axe you to stop!

Tee hee! You're so funny! I may have to flee in terror!

Fixed that for you.

I'm guessing the notches are from all the times you were so full of mighty Canuck fury & awesomeness that you had four double doubles and two iced caps in one day?

Fixed that for YOU!

....mighty Canuck fury...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.................

Oh man! That was a good one.

Xuttah wrote:

....mighty Canuck fury...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.................

Oh man! That was a good one.

Clearly you've never seen a charging moose in the fall! 0_0

Clearly you've never seen a charging moose in the fall! 0_0

Is that why kobolds tend to run away? Fear that the big, bad moose monster is gonna get em?

Wait? How would a ghost eat someones brain anyway? Well as a devoted follower of Pelor I don't need my brain to survive anyway! There's no need to think when the word of Pelor tells me all I need to know! Rather useful against such creatures as zombies and mind flayers you know. Still this is rather disconcerting so I'll get a Restoration as soon as possible. So anyway I'll make a last ditch stand against these undead monstrosities in hopes of ensuring the escape of the poor innocent soul who has been beset by these zombies for so long. For Pelor!

*Charges into the fray, turning undead and swinging with his mace*

*possesses Holy Warrior*

*knocks on Tarren's door*

Hello? Anybody home? teehee. I'm here to save you from the zombies. teehee. Can you let me in? teehee.

Is that why kobolds tend to run away? Fear that the big, bad moose monster is gonna get em?

There are legends, passed on by our invader ancestors of a dimension of ultimate terror. Within that dimension is a room...with a moose!

AAAHGHHHH!

Don't even get me started on Hamstergeddon!

Mmmmmm......

....brainnnssss

Aren't you going to promote Callous Jack Brand coffee and donuts?

Say now... that could work.

Die, zombies, die!!!

Man, all this violence against the hearbeat challenged. What'd we ever do to you....?

Aberzombie wrote:

Is that why kobolds tend to run away? Fear that the big, bad moose monster is gonna get em?

There are legends, passed on by our invader ancestors of a dimension of ultimate terror. Within that dimension is a room...with a moose!

And in a neighboring dimension, it's not a moose.

Man, all this violence against the hearbeat challenged. What'd we ever do to you....?

*chews on burger*

*MmmMMmmmurgle*

You tell em TZ!

And in a neighboring dimension, it's not a moose.

Well, that's hardly scary at all! Unless, it's Ultra Pe-Pe!

Orthos wrote:

And in a neighboring dimension, it's not a moose.

Well, that's hardly scary at all! Unless, it's Ultra Pe-Pe!

Oh sure, unless you forget to paint the wall for a while.

Hey, we have all these zombies....

Man, all this violence against the hearbeat challenged. What'd we ever do to you....?

Yeah, all we wanted to do was eat his braaaaaiiiiinnnnnssss!

Mmmmmm.....painnnnnnttttt

Aberzombie wrote:

Man, all this violence against the hearbeat challenged. What'd we ever do to you....?

Yeah, all we wanted to do was eat his braaaaaiiiiinnnnnssss!

We weren't unreasonable. I mean, no wanted to eat his eye.

Oh sure, unless you forget to paint the wall for a while.

You See! It changes colour when it dries! It never stays! I have to keep the wall wet!

Okay, maybe that's a little scary...but a moose! C'mon man! Nobody should have to face that!

Dread Lord Zombie wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

Man, all this violence against the hearbeat challenged. What'd we ever do to you....?

Yeah, all we wanted to do was eat his braaaaaiiiiinnnnnssss!

We weren't unreasonable. I mean, no wanted to eat his eye.

Well, I did.