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Thank you Xuttah, I hope you and yours are doing well. I heard that Surelybroke where I'm living has milder winters. I forgot to ask the human resources people if it got cold enough to freeze the zombies.
They might still be working on the zombie trench and kill zones for your neighbourhood (Zombie Trench: Invented by Canada's greatest Prime Minister, Tim Horton, the zombie trench is a 20' deep, steeply sloped concrete ditch that lines the roadsides of most populated areas. It slopes gently downhill and funnels any zombie unfortunate enough to fall in towards an automated underground machine that is part meat grinder, part incinerator. They are often baited by brave volunteers or animals, usually loons, polar bears, caribou or beavers suspended in a cherry picker or cage above the trench.) That would explain your little fan club. Consult your local Ministry of Undead Affairs for more details.
We're doing okay, thanks. I live in Hamilton, and our local hockey team (Bulldogs) keep the Zeds in line for the most part. I also don't live too far from the local Rona and their zombie control department (right next to the spotlights) is top notch. Your local store might deliver if you're in a pinch. :)
Does the zombie trench involve delicious doughnuts?
Mmm. Tim Hortons...
The powdered, jelly filled ones are used as our traditional Thanksgiving zombie head proxies. Squeeze a strawberry one in your hands and tell me it doesn't look like you're smashing a zombie head! :)
Mmm. Jelly doughnut.
Those of us who live in the US near the Canadian border can report to the rest of the country: The invasion is here, and it's delicious.
What you didn't turn the undead? Did you take the feat? Do you even have cleric levels? Alright I'll handle this. As a devout follower of Pelor I of course can turn undead.
*Turn undead*
In Pelor's name begone from this place undead monstrosities!
...
Energy Drain
Let's see you turn undead when you've regressed to 1st level, mortal.
Day 4 -- Almost noon
Just saw some crazy guy hold up some shiny silver object and try to scare the zombies away. They actually backed up for a moment before they ate him. You'd need like 200 of those guys to even clear the street.
Another thud on the roof. I don't get it. Zombies are too dumb to turn a door knob but they can aim and fire a catapult. Weird.
Anti-Zombie safety message from the Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen
Norm Abrams: "But first, let's talk about shop safety. Remember to read, understand and follow all of the instructions that come with your power tools. And remember to wear these, safety glasses."
{Norm then proceeds to clamp a zombie's head into place and routes dados into its undead skull.}
Anti-Zombie safety message from the Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen
Yet another public safety announcement from McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario...
Yet another public safety announcement from McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario...
*chews on kobold brains*
*blurgle*