Aaaah! There's zombies on my doorstep. What should I do?

Throw something at them.

run around in a zig zag pattern flailing your arms, zombies are slow and stupid!

Peebo :D

here you go.

Rule #4: Double-tap. You think it's dead? One more makes a 100% sure.

here you go.

I don't have time to read all that! The house is surrounded.

Anyone else witnessing the dawn of the dead?

It's not my fault you don't know how to install and operate a claymore!
Learn how to speed read!

Heathansson wrote:

here you go.

I don't have time to read all that! The house is surrounded.

Anyone else witnessing the dawn of the dead?

Tell them that you're a politician, so you've got no brains to give. Then point them to a house a block down. When they leave, run like hell.

- or -

Stare into the bathroom mirror and say "Chuck Norris" three times. After he kicks your ass into next week, he'll happily finish off the zombies.

Let's see, do you have an array of plants set up to fend off the oncoming hoard?

Do the wolves owe you a favor? You did let them eat that pig you were watching...

Just take a nap. It will all be over quickly.

run around in a zig zag pattern flailing your arms, zombies are slow and stupid!

Peebo :D

I think that only works for zombie crocodiles

Grab as much food as you can, run upstairs, fill the bathtub, and take an axe to your stairs. That'll buy you time to consult your Zombie Survival Guide.

Grab your best weapon and lock yourself in the bathroom with food. Pray for a tornado.
Or, best yet, simply call the police.

Grab your best weapon and lock yourself in the bathroom with food. Pray for a tornado.

Or, best yet, simply call the police.

Or you could send out the kobolds. After all, who cares if a few kobolds get eaten by zombies.

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Grab your best weapon and lock yourself in the bathroom with food. Pray for a tornado.

Or, best yet, simply call the police.

Or you could send out the kobolds. After all, who cares if a few kobolds get eaten by zombies.

Control Undead!

Sharoth wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Grab your best weapon and lock yourself in the bathroom with food. Pray for a tornado.

Or, best yet, simply call the police.

Or you could send out the kobolds. After all, who cares if a few kobolds get eaten by zombies.

Control Undead!

Now, kill the funny white dragon!

~waves my hand dismisively~ Control Kobold. ~wicked, toothy smile~ Now tell the undead to turn on you.

P.S. - Will you be able to attend PaizoCon 2010? Just wondering.

Not much sleep last night. Barricaded self in house. Zombies clawed at door like puppy. Zombie puppy clawed at door too. Will post more later.

You know, it's only a matter of time before we get you. Our victory is inevitable. Just let us in. Join us. What have you got to lose?

One of us. One of us. One of us.

The zombie horde: winning with the crushing weight of numbers since 1968.

The zombie horde: winning with the crushing weight of numbers since 1968.

I've got pretty strong doors.

Humans: barely staying alive with Home Depot since 1978.

<Looks at avatar>

Tarren Dei, you're not a human. Everyone knows that zombies only go after humans. You're perfectly safe. Look, I'm completely surrounded by zombies, and they're not bothering me.

<Looks at avatar>

Tarren Dei, you're not a human. Everyone knows that zombies only go after humans. You're perfectly safe. Look, I'm completely surrounded by zombies, and they're not bothering me.

Pssst ... taig ... you aren't really a particularly ugly badger. That's just your avatar.

taig wrote:

<Looks at avatar>

Tarren Dei, you're not a human. Everyone knows that zombies only go after humans. You're perfectly safe. Look, I'm completely surrounded by zombies, and they're not bothering me.

Pssst ... taig ... you aren't really a particularly ugly badger. That's just your avatar.

Well, I guess that means I'm going to have a difficult time burrowing into the ground to escape. Yeep!

Tarren Dei wrote:

taig wrote:

<Looks at avatar>

Tarren Dei, you're not a human. Everyone knows that zombies only go after humans. You're perfectly safe. Look, I'm completely surrounded by zombies, and they're not bothering me.

Pssst ... taig ... you aren't really a particularly ugly badger. That's just your avatar.

Well, I guess that means I'm going to have a difficult time burrowing into the ground to escape. Yeep!

Man! Some people should really look away from the monitor more.

You know, it's only a matter of time before we get you. Our victory is inevitable. Just let us in. Join us. What have you got to lose?

One of us. One of us. One of us.

The zombie horde: winning with the crushing weight of numbers since 1968.

The kobold horde: Winning with the crushing weight of our numbers (and collapsing wall traps)since 1970.

Aberzombie wrote:

You know, it's only a matter of time before we get you. Our victory is inevitable. Just let us in. Join us. What have you got to lose?

One of us. One of us. One of us.

The zombie horde: winning with the crushing weight of numbers since 1968.

The kobold horde: Winning with the crushing weight of our numbers (and collapsing wall traps)since 1970.

Anyways, kobold fortifications are easily match for mindless zombies.

As for creating undead, Kobolds prefer to animate skeletons. That way, you can still strip the meat off for food before creating your undead hordes. Sort of a two for one deal. :)

The kobold horde: Either fleeing in terror or accidently winning with a few collapsing wall traps and lots of luck since 1970. And we're still not as good at mining as dwarves.

Fixed that for you...

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The kobold horde: Either fleeing in terror or accidently winning with a few collapsing wall traps and lots of luck since 1970. And we're still not as good at mining as dwarves.

Fixed that for you...

This seems like fun:

The kobold horde: When you can't afford to hire kender or gully dwarves, there's always kobolds.

The kobold horde: Because there are some things even otyughs won't eat.

The kobold horde: No brains means they're immune to the zombie horde. :)

Aberzombie wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The kobold horde: Either fleeing in terror or accidently winning with a few collapsing wall traps and lots of luck since 1970. And we're still not as good at mining as dwarves.

Fixed that for you...

This seems like fun:

The kobold horde: When you can't afford to hire kender or gully dwarves, there's always kobolds.

The kobold horde: Because there are some things even otyughs won't eat.

The kobold horde: No brains means they're immune to the zombie horde. :)

I knew there was a reason I liked you....

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

This seems like fun:

The kobold horde: When you can't afford to hire kender or gully dwarves, there's always kobolds.

The kobold horde: Because there are some things even otyughs won't eat.

The kobold horde: No brains means they're immune to the zombie horde. :)

I knew there was a reason I liked you....

You're only interested in my brains, not my body. {pouts}

You're only interested in my brains, not my body. {pouts}

I could gnaw off a few fingers, if that would make you feel better.

DO NOT FEED THE ZOMBIES!

Mmmmmm........

......brainnnnssss.

From a recent Zombie Rights protest:
"What do we want?"
"Braaaaainsssss...."
"When do we want them?"
"Brainsssssnssss..."

Zombies showed up at my house last night, I shot them all while waiting for the TorTers..... why are the cops surrounding my house? ;)

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The kobold horde: Either fleeing in terror or accidently winning with a few collapsing wall traps and lots of luck since 1970. And we're still not as good at mining as dwarves.

Fixed that for you...

Kobolds: Having a +2 to mining since 3rd edition. Unlike a certain dwarf race which shall remain unnamed.

Kobolds: Having a +2 to mining since 3rd edition. Unlike a certain dwarf race which shall remain unnamed.

I guess that's why all those campaign worlds are always having legendary, lost kobold kingdoms instead of dwarven ones. Oh, wait....

Turn undead, obviously!

DO NOT FEED THE ZOMBIES!

Thanks for the advice. I didn't give them any of my Pecan Sandies.

Almost 24 hours since the zombies came calling. None have gotten in yet; my Farley Windows Double Tilt Sliders are pretty strong. I don't dare to open them. I'm still praying they won't. Hopefully they'll die off before much longer.

Just in case, I've tied my Forschner Fibrox 10-in. Butcher Knife with a Granton Edge to the blade of my Sher-Wood Feather-Lite 5030 SC Goal Stick with my Calvin Klein Vintage Inspired Men's Fashion Belt. That should help.

Can't stay online. Have to go stare out the windows with a panicked look on my face.

I've called in a nuclear strike where you are. That should get rid of the zombies.

You can thank me later.

Almost 24 hours since the zombies came calling. None have gotten in yet; my Farley Windows Double Tilt Sliders are pretty strong. I don't dare to open them. I'm still praying they won't. Hopefully they'll die off before much longer.

Just in case, I've tied my Forschner Fibrox 10-in. Butcher Knife with a Granton Edge to the blade of my Sher-Wood Feather-Lite 5030 SC Goal Stick with my Calvin Klein Vintage Inspired Men's Fashion Belt. That should help.

Can't stay online. Have to go stare out the windows with a panicked look on my face.

This whole thread was started so that you could sell ad space wasn't it?

Sell out.

Tarren....! Let us in Tarren! Become one of us....

Day 3 since the Zombies.

Tarren....! Let us in Tarren! Become one of us....

1d20 - 1 ⇒ (6) - 1 = 5

Missed.

Mmmmm......

.....brainnnsss.

.....brainnnsss.

1d20 - 1 ⇒ (14) - 1 = 13

Got one!

1d4 - 1 ⇒ (4) - 1 = 3

Day 3 -- Morning.

I got one with my hockey stick come slashing thing. It didn't seem to care but at least I know the knife is sharp enough. I'm going to go into the basement to lift some weights. I'll probably do better without the strength penalty.

knocks on door

Candygram for Mongo!

Hmmm, I guess the nuclear strike didn't hit your area. I wonder where it went instead...