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In order:
1) Mickey Rourke (He is such a fake tough guy)
2) Regis Philbin (He insulted my mother)
3) John Edwards (That guy is a crock)
4) Bono (Mr.I do charitable acts as a sort of "Look at me I'm Bono.")
5) Cpt. Kirk (For never letting his crew get some tail)
And just to throw in a Historical figure: Hitler
Is Bruce Lee historical?
I'd give him everything I had before he knocked me unconscious... and in defeat I would hope to truly understand the greatness of the man.
I wouldn't fight the despots of the world. I'll savagely cave their heads in with whatever I could hit them with... elongated toilet seats... cans of Folgers. But that's a different poll.
If I had to fight a politician who just needed a slap around... I dare not say who that would be.
You should try Chuck Norris. He'd roundhouse kick you into the sun before you could say "beard."Is Bruce Lee historical?
I'd give him everything I had before he knocked me unconscious... and in defeat I would hope to truly understand the greatness of the man.
I once sparred with the legendary Chuck Norris. He was very strong for his size and will forever have my deepest respect for all he did in the pro circuit. I named a stinging bruise after him.
I had the great fortune to spar often with my one time instructor, Benny Urquidez, another incredibly accomplished martial artist.
I didn't spar with Bruce Lee. Unless I did before age 5 and just don't remember. If so, I wonder how I fared?
While I'm at it, I'd also like to beat the tar outta Ayn Rand, Milton Friedman, Karl Marx and Rush Limbaugh. Bring 'em on!
Why would you want to fight Karl Marx!
He's definately not responsible for the twisted way his theories were used after is death.
Speaking of Karl Marxian combat. I'd like to fight the look-a-like Smith Bros lozenge magnates.
Curse you, Trade (William) and Mark (Andrew) Smith! I KNEW you really existed!
I wanna fight Mo Howard.
He would so own you! Then he'd give you a haircut to match his own (if you don't already got one, which I wouldn't put past you). You might have a chance against someone like an Olson sister or the geeky dude from "The Class". Scratch that, you just shouldn't even throw fists.
FH
Bill O'Reilly. I'd say Rush Limbaugh too, but I think he was disqualified over the whole drug thing.
Of course, those are both exhibition matches. The grudge match would be Fred Phelps.
You know either of those guys would be SUCH sore losers. Disputing the rep at every turn, threatening legal action because someone happened to forget to inform you that wire cutters were not legal for the fight, etc.
n1 Jade on the Kato pick. Wouldn't that be awesome to take the one-inch-punch and then drift into unconciousness?
How could one ever stop telling the story of that day?
I studied the one and three inch power punches. Lou said Lee nicked them from Wing Chun.
It's true...though I don't know if "nicked" is accurate...dude studied under Yip Man. Bruce was Wing Chun in a lot of ways, and more.
The three-inch punch rules!!! Still though the hitting techniques in Xing Yi an Ba Ji impress me even more. The way the elbows get used in Taiji (not the exercise stuff, the real down n' dirty Taiji) is also super badassed!
I spared with the Korean Sanda champion a few times...I beat him once!!!
Just once...after that it was all downhill.
He was just figuring me out as a fighter the first time around I think so he could friggin skool me everytime thereafter.
And skool me he did.
I'd fight Genghis Freakin Khan, or Guan Yu...I don't think even Bruce had s&%# on those crazy f!%+ers...I mean, they made Guan Yu a friggin GOD!!!
Bill O'Reilly. I'd say Rush Limbaugh too, but I think he was disqualified over the whole drug thing.
Of course, those are both exhibition matches. The grudge match would be Fred Phelps.
Never heard of Fred Phelps before now, but, after a little research, it certainly seems clear that he deserves a bit of slappy-face... Where do these people come from - and, more importantly, why do people listen to them??
It's true...though I don't know if "nicked" is accurate...dude studied under Yip Man. Bruce was Wing Chun in a lot of ways, and more.
The three-inch punch rules!!! Still though the hitting techniques in Xing Yi an Ba Ji impress me even more. The way the elbows get used in Taiji (not the exercise stuff, the real down n' dirty Taiji) is also super badassed!
I spared with the Korean Sanda champion a few times...I beat him once!!!
Just once...after that it was all downhill.
He was just figuring me out as a fighter the first time around I think so he could friggin skool me everytime thereafter.
And skool me he did.
I'd fight Genghis Freakin Khan, or Guan Yu...I don't think even Bruce had s!!% on those crazy f#!&ers...I mean, they made Guan Yu a friggin GOD!!!
Once I typed 'nicked' I knew I'd been unclear. Sorry 'bout that, chief.
Yip Man's student William Cheung came to NY back in the day and I studied in one of his clinics at the Radisson when I was 15. I got to use the wooden dummies and play a bit with the butterfly swords, and learned a lot about using a sideways stance.
I recall your experience with the Sanda champion. That shining moment is a badge to make one grin well into old age.
Genghis Khan just hasn't seemed as tough after co-starring in Bill and Ted's...
The three-inch punch rules!!! Still though the hitting techniques in Xing Yi an Ba Ji impress me even more. The way the elbows get used in Taiji (not the exercise stuff, the real down n' dirty Taiji) is also super badassed!
Like in Ong-Bak? That dude was throwing some mean elbows and massive flying knee-drops!
I had the great fortune to spar often with my one time instructor, Benny Urquidez, another incredibly accomplished martial artist.Are you serious? You studied with Benny the Jet? That's freakin' awesome! You and John Cusack, brother.
ba-ba-ba Benny himself. :) Funny how weary Benny could look when he was taking opponents apart. Despite it not being his style, that emptiness was very Kung-Fu.
I had the great fortune to spar often with my one time instructor, Benny Urquidez, another incredibly accomplished martial artist.Are you serious? You studied with Benny the Jet? That's freakin' awesome! You and John Cusack, brother.
Yeah, really darn cool. He was one of the reasons I got into martial arts.
I would like to fight some of the dudes from the UFC, but I would need to train for a month or 2 to get my endurance back up. I have been rather lax since the kids came along....FH
I had the great fortune to spar often with my one time instructor, Benny Urquidez, another incredibly accomplished martial artist.Are you serious? You studied with Benny the Jet? That's freakin' awesome! You and John Cusack, brother.Yeah, really darn cool. He was one of the reasons I got into martial arts.
I would like to fight some of the dudes from the UFC, but I would need to train for a month or 2 to get my endurance back up. I have been rather lax since the kids came along....FH
Only a month or two? I have friends who train mix martial arts fighting for local competitions, and they train relegiously, all the time. They are some of the most dedicated atheletes I know.
In Hawaii. Mix Martial Arts Fighting Competitions in Hawaii are Taken REAL SERIOUSLY.Much respect to you FH
I would have to train for a few years... and going back in time 20 years or so would probably improve my chances as well. Steroids too. And a gun. And a roofie for the other guy's Gatorade.
Yeah, no lie. Fifteen years ago I accidentally knocked a milk carton off the counter with my elbow, and caught it before it could spill any milk. Now, I'm lucky to be able to POUR a beverage without knocking it over and spilling it. Then, I could pick my best friend up(all 6'4" of him) over my head and twirl him around. Now, lifting a pencil is about all I can do. It's incredibly sad what a few years (and a cessation of training 20 hours a week like a mad zealot) will do.
I had the great fortune to spar often with my one time instructor, Benny Urquidez, another incredibly accomplished martial artist.Are you serious? You studied with Benny the Jet? That's freakin' awesome! You and John Cusack, brother.Yeah, really darn cool. He was one of the reasons I got into martial arts.
I would like to fight some of the dudes from the UFC, but I would need to train for a month or 2 to get my endurance back up. I have been rather lax since the kids came along....FH
Only a month or two? I have friends who train mix martial arts fighting for local competitions, and they train relegiously, all the time. They are some of the most dedicated atheletes I know.
In Hawaii. Mix Martial Arts Fighting Competitions in Hawaii are Taken REAL SERIOUSLY.
Much respect to you FH
Didn't say I would win, I just wanna see if I could do some damage to a real fighter still. I wish UFC was around 15 years ago in the same way as today. I woulda been a whole nother animal.
I can take an obscene amount of pain and damage still and my reflexes are really good. My leg flexibility is way down, but I don't see them guys using them too often. I was always devastating with the knees and elbows and I used to break concrete patio blocks with them and the ol' cabasa also. Most I could break was 4 at a time.Endurance is the problem for me. I just don't have enough for a prolonged battle with a well-trained opponent. Some of the lesser guys in UFC I could skool. Some others would probably break my arm or something. Alot of my training went into hold and bars and escaping them. I would love to try it but age and inactivity are making that just a pipe dream.
Oh and I do some awesome baking! And you'll be hard-pressed to find a better flower bed designer;P
FH
I wanna fight Mo Howard.He would so own you! Then he'd give you a haircut to match his own (if you don't already got one, which I wouldn't put past you). You might have a chance against someone like an Olson sister or the geeky dude from "The Class". Scratch that, you just shouldn't even throw fists.
FH
Dude. My hair is perfect.
Steve Buscemi. The guy who wouldn't tip in Reservoir Dogs.
Dude! Don't mess wit him. He's Mr. Shhh. Or Garland 'The Marietta Mangler' Greene. Or Ed Chilton. Or Mink. He dies but he just keeps getting back up. You better bring a lunch (and a roofie).
**edit: he's also Tony Blundetto, and Randall Boggs, or Carl Showalter (who got shot ....in THE FACE!), or...
I had the great fortune to spar often with my one time instructor, Benny Urquidez, another incredibly accomplished martial artist.I didn't spar with Bruce Lee. Unless I did before age 5 and just don't remember. If so, I wonder how I fared?
Here's a FIGHT!
Me (no experience whatsoever) vs. my friend Ben (triple black belt, pro karate circuit).
Guess who won!
Note: if someone says to you "if you can kick my ass, I'll give you twenty bucks," DON'T TAKE THEM UP ON THE OFFER.
-Mr. Shiny
Here's a FIGHT!
Me (no experience whatsoever) vs. my friend Ben (triple black belt, pro karate circuit).
Guess who won!
Note: if someone says to you "if you can kick my ass, I'll give you twenty bucks," DON'T TAKE THEM UP ON THE OFFER.
-Mr. Shiny
Did Ben win? If so, I'm almost sorry to hear it if only due to the arrogance of thinking himself so unbeatable. Even trained fighters get caught by lucky punches and hit the mat hard, fuzzily recalling only omelettes they have loved on the way down. You never know when it's your day to recall omelettes.
On the flip side, my sincere respect to Ben for the talent he's developed and his participation in the circuit.
I wanna fight my avatar.Ha! Found it at last - it is a mezzoloth!
I wouldn't want to fight one of them...
I take it back.
