I wish Gygax was still alive.

In an act of complete nerdness, a group of hardcore RPG players spend rubies worth $500 to wish his body in perfect state back and another $1000 in diamond dust and bring back Mr. Gygax's soul, level loss included. He had an epiphany while being someplace else and makes the best Tabletop RPG ever. The people all around the world stop doing EVERYTHING just to roleplay until they die of hunger. The world rises the next day without a single human being living.

I wish it rained today.

Granted, But the running chainsaws do not like being juggled and run away.

I wish Gygax was still alive.

Man, didn't you ever read The Monkey's Paw?

GRANTED!

There is a knock at your door. You run to it, only to realize that poor Mr. Gygax has been interred in the ground for over a year.

I wish that the previous wish was undone...

I wish that the previous wish was undone...

Granted. It didn't rain. Sorry, Tnemeh.

I wish the new Dodge Tomahawk had Vulcan cannons as part of the options package.

I wish the new Dodge Tomahawk had Vulcan cannons as part of the options package.

That works out great

I wish my cat would stop biting my feet.

Cuchulainn wrote:

I wish the new Dodge Tomahawk had Vulcan cannons as part of the options package.

That works out great

I wish my cat would stop biting my feet.

The cat discovers that it dislikes the taste of your suddenly gangrenous feet and bounds off to nibble the power cable of your PC instead.

I wish I had the talent to write RPGs for a living, not just the inclination.

I wish I had the talent to write RPGs for a living, not just the inclination.

You do. Sadly, they make a new kind of RPG-based game that's a mix of virtual reality and a Terminator-like intelligence that updates itself and makes new adventures and systems all by itself; you're no longer needed and left jobless.

I wish for my friggin' rain AGAIN! =D

You are rained on every day until you die.

I wish that all creationists would stop their b*&!~&@!, and acknowledge the reality of evolution.

Granted. All creationists realise that they’ve been believing a lie and acknowledge that evolution is a reality. Religion slowly disappears from the world as more and more people realise that an outmoded belief system cannot compare to hard science. The world enters a golden age of scientific advancement.

Then god gets pissed off and wipes out the earth and all human life to start afresh (deciding this time he’ll get rid of that pesky ‘free will’ thing).

I wish for fish.

I wish for fish.

Granted. You are eaten by a 25-foot great white shark.

I wish that Mr. Shiny actually had wished something before departing this thread.

I wish that Mr. Shiny actually had wished something before departing this thread.

Yeah, me too...

Granted. In an alternate universe, Shiny makes a wish before departing the thread, a truly wonderful wish that will benefit all of human kind and make the world a better place. In a fortuitous twist of fate, a passing super powerful alien entity notices the wish and grants it, and Earth in that alternate universe is forever changed for the better, leading to all sorts of great things for its inhabitants.

Lucky alternate universe.

I wish that I could go to dinner with my friends tomorrow night.

Granted. In an alternate universe, Shiny makes a wish before departing the thread, a truly wonderful wish that will benefit all of human kind and make the world a better place. In a fortuitous twist of fate, a passing super powerful alien entity notices the wish and grants it, and Earth in that alternate universe is forever changed for the better, leading to all sorts of great things for its inhabitants.

Lucky alternate universe.

I wish that I could go to dinner with my friends tomorrow night.

Your friends contract a form of zombie plague, and messily devour you when you go to meet them.

I wish I could put thoughts in other people's heads.

You can unfortunatly it's only the dirty ones... the world crumbles as everyone just indulges in your deepest sickest fantasies.

I wish I was a chick for 1 day (c'mon you all know you've wished it to)

I wish I was a chick for 1 day (c'mon you all know you've wished it to)

You wake up as Rosie O'Donnell.

I wish that I had my own farm.

Moorluck wrote:

I wish I was a chick for 1 day (c'mon you all know you've wished it to)

You wake up as Rosie O'Donnell.

I wish that I had my own farm.

unfortunatly it's a flesh farm the FBI imprisons you for the rest of your sorry life

I wish my sonn would behave in school

unfortunatly it's a flesh farm the FBI imprisons you for the rest of your sorry life

I wish my sonn would behave in school

GRANTED!

You son becomes a model pupil and begins an outstanding school and University career. He grows up to be one of the world's leading geneticists and begins a project to eliminate all disease. He just needs a brain from his parent for his experiments...

I wish my husband could break his writer's block and write the game for Friday night's session...

Granted. He comes up with a fiendishly clever idea for Friday’s game, that results in a TPK.

I wish someone would bring me a cup of tea.

Granted. You call out "Can someone get me a cup of tea?" and keep looking at your screen. After a while, you notice a cup of tea next to you, and you mumble your thanks. After you drink the tea you suddenly realise you were alone in the house.

I wish that multivitamins contained 2% less potassium iodide.

Granted. You call out "Can someone get me a cup of tea?" and keep looking at your screen. After a while, you notice a cup of tea next to you, and you mumble your thanks. After you drink the tea you suddenly realise you were alone in the house.

I wish that multivitamins contained 2% less potassium iodide.

Granted. Due to an accident at the multivitamin manufacturer, multivitamins contain 2% less potassium iodide and 2% less of everything else too. The replacement for all of this is arsenic.

I wish this wish was wished by someone else.

Taliesin Hoyle wrote:

I wish that multivitamins contained 2% less potassium iodide.

Granted. Due to an accident at the multivitamin manufacturer, multivitamins contain 2% less potassium iodide and 2% less of everything else too. The replacement for all of this is arsenic.

I wish this wish was wished by someone else.

Granted! You now loath recursion.

I wish this wish was wished by someone else.

Granted! You now loath recursion.

I wish this wish was wished by someone else.

Granted. You wake up from a drunken stupor in your student flat living room, realising that the last 16 years was all a dream and the girl who has just walked in (your wife in your dream) is now chatting up your best mate and walking out the door with him rather than you.

I wish I could get on with my work and and finish my analysis.

I wish I could get on with my work and and finish my analysis.

Granted. You come up with an idea and calculations of astonishing brilliance which could revolutionise space-flight... If only it were possible to get past the near earth orbit of floating space junk, to which your design is horribly, horribly, vulnerable.

Edit:
I wish Tnemeh's edited out wish for him to become one of the Paizo iconics is granted.

(Damn it, that's why you shouldn't post and work, I've had to delete my granted wishes twice now.)

Granted! Your wish for Tnemeh to be an iconic Character happens. This incredibly cute new character appears and is the new laughingstock of Cheliax, his attempts at being evil would never become true and is made only like a new phrase for failure in a cute way, ending to be almost an insult:

"Look! You just made a Tnemeh!"

I wish that I could unwish my wish so someone would wish instead of me. Yes. I think that you think that you know what I'm thinking. But you don't.

Honestly... what's the bad part in this outcome:

You can unfortunatly it's only the dirty ones... the world crumbles as everyone just indulges in your deepest sickest fantasies.

???

(Damn it, that's why you shouldn't post and work, I've had to delete my granted wishes twice now.)

Granted! Your wish for Tnemeh to be an iconic Character happens. This incredibly cute new character appears and is the new laughingstock of Cheliax, his attempts at being evil would never become true and is made only like a new phrase for failure in a cute way, ending to be almost an insult:

"Look! You just made a Tnemeh!"

I wish that I could unwish my wish so someone would wish instead of me. Yes. I think that you think that you know what I'm thinking. But you don't.

Honestly... what's the bad part in this outcome:

Moorluck wrote:

You can unfortunatly it's only the dirty ones... the world crumbles as everyone just indulges in your deepest sickest fantasies.

???

Granted. I wished the wish rather than you wishing the wish, but the results were so horribly convoluted that I wish that you hadn't wished that.

I wish I were drunk enough to understand the previous few paragraphs.

After consuming vast quantities of Burbon your mind can now understand the previous post ..however your booze soaked brain understands nothing else and you are hit by a car when you stop in the middle of the road to try and figure out what the gentleman on the corner is yelling at you.

I wish my wife would bring home Jessica Alba for my birthday :)

Your wife drugs and kidnaps a celebrity. After a worldwide manhunt, you are both shot in a swat raid, when snipers mistake your remote control for a weapon.

I wish that diamonds were never blood diamonds.

I wish that diamonds were never blood diamonds.

No more diamonds, got it.

I wish I had super powers.

Taliesin Hoyle wrote:

I wish that diamonds were never blood diamonds.

No more diamonds, got it.

I wish I had super powers.

Dwight Eisenhower and Josef Stalin appear in your kitchen, and immediately begin kicking the s&+~ out of each other, destroying your house in the process.

And your wish Mr.Shiny?

And your wish Mr.Shiny?

Damn, did it again...

I wish that man-made laws didn't apply to me.

Granted. The mi-go abduct you and you never make it back to Earth - or man-made laws.

I wish the smurf facility on the Paizo boards was completely reliable.

Granted. The mi-go abduct you and you never make it back to Earth - or man-made laws.

I wish the smurf facility on the Paizo boards was completely reliable.

GRANTED!!!

Everyone turns into a Smurf and then Gargamel abducts us all, killing us for his twisted desire for gold!

I wish that I could have a PAID 8 month vacation in Europe without loosing my job or having any other problems.

Granted. The mi-go abduct you and you never make it back to Earth - or man-made laws.

I wish the smourf facility on the Paizo boards was completely reliable.

All Pathfinder Society characters are replaced by smourfs. Paizo's organized play society tanks due to lack of interest, and is subsequently bought by Hasbro, who are able to successfully market the "Smourf-finder Role-Playing Game" to the pre-teen market.

I wish Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsey Lohan would all spontaneously combust on live television.

Granted but in your absence they are unable to reach the same productivity it is decided that you are never ever allowed to have time off again.

I wish I could visit Ireland like Mr.Shiny did.

Granted but in your absence they are unable to reach the same productivity it is decided that you are never ever allowed to have time off again.

I wish I could visit Ireland like Mr.Shiny did.

Granted. We switch bodies. AAAAAAHHH!

My previous wish still stands.

Moorluck wrote:

Granted but in your absence they are unable to reach the same productivity it is decided that you are never ever allowed to have time off again.

I wish I could visit Ireland like Mr.Shiny did.

Granted. We switch bodies. AAAAAAHHH!

My previous wish still stands.

The shear joy of watching the three explode on camera causes an instantaneous feeling of completion in the world we all just stare in glee at their demise...and never stop staring the world dies from starvation with those big grins on our faces :)

I wish for my body back!!

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

Moorluck wrote:

Granted but in your absence they are unable to reach the same productivity it is decided that you are never ever allowed to have time off again.

I wish I could visit Ireland like Mr.Shiny did.

Granted. We switch bodies. AAAAAAHHH!

My previous wish still stands.

The shear joy of watching the three explode on camera causes an instantaneous feeling of completion in the world we all just stare in glee at their demise...and never stop staring the world dies from starvation with those big grins on our faces :)

I wish for my body back!!

Granted!

However, after you get your body back, you realize that Mr. Shiny had some "relations" with some women of a certain profession. Roll on the VD chart 8 times. ~wicked cackle~

I wish that I had the ability to use real magic!

Granted. You get your body back. Unfortunately, Mr Shiny has … abused it somewhat. Ah well, you never used your little fingers much anyway, you’re sure the kidney he sold will go to a needy person, and you’ll just need to get used to the big Henry Rollins tattoo covering your entire face … and other places.

I wish I could find a good way to get out of work this afternoon which would not in any way compromise my continued employment.

Granted, Sharoth. You can cast Detect Magic once per day. However, as nothing else in the world is magical, this ability is rather wasted.

I still wish I could find a good way to get out of work this afternoon which would not in any way compromise my continued employment.

Granted, Sharoth. You can cast Detect Magic once per day. However, as nothing else in the world is magical, this ability is rather wasted.

I still wish I could find a good way to get out of work this afternoon which would not in any way compromise my continued employment.

Granted!

The whole world becomes frozen in time and you never have to go to work again!

I wish that there was World Peace!

Granted. You are on the world....of Pluto. Nothing lives there, besides you of course,.....so there is no war.

I wish I had a real actual working Millenium Falcon with light speed and everything.

Granted. You are on the world....of Pluto. Nothing lives there, besides you of course,.....so there is no war.

I wish I had a real actual working Millenium Falcon with light speed and everything.

GRANTED!!!

You get the Millenium Falcon... and a VERY pissed of Han Solo and Chewie. Han shoots first and then Chewie tears you limb from limb!

I wish that a Victoria Secret's model was in love with me!

Granted.
Claudia Schiffer falls in love with your dumb ass....
then David Copperfield walks in on you in the middle of a zesty session and turns you into a capybara and feeds you to Siegfried and Roy's white tiger.

I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons in a land apart.

Granted. One of the models from the original 1977 catalogue falls in love with you. She is in her late fifties, and years of extreme dieting and weight fluctuations, excessive smoking, promiscuity and botched plastic surgery have not been kind to her.

I wish that I had chosen a better spell selection in one of my pbp games.

I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons in a land apart.

Granted. The dragon is Sharoth.

I still wish that I had chosen a better spell selection in one of my pbp games.

Heathansson wrote:

I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons in a land apart.

Granted. The dragon is Sharoth.

I still wish that I had chosen a better spell selection in one of my pbp games.

~grimaces~ Thanks a lot! I thought you liked me! (~GRINS~)

Heathansson wrote:

I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to fly with dragons in a land apart.

Granted. The dragon is Sharoth.

I still wish that I had chosen a better spell selection in one of my pbp games.

Granted. You make the perfect spell selection, and your character dominates the game. Unfortunately, one of your fellow posters gets jealous, finds out where you live, and removes you from the game permanently.

I wish clowns and mimes never existed, without killing those people who are currently clowns or mimes, just that they chose a less nightmarish line of work.

I still wish that I had chosen a better spell selection in one of my pbp games.

Granted - you chose the perfect spell selection. You're brilliance at playing is acknowledged by all, and soon elevates pbp to a near American Idol level of popularity, with you as the most famous player. Soon, you begin to be stalked by a multidude of extremely fanatic and somewhat disturbing fans. As their obsession with you grows to toxic levels, they join forces and make plans to show you how much they love you. As their plan goes into effect, the group begins to fracture as they argue over which one loves you more. A huge fight breaks out, and you are torn to pieces. Each piece is kept by one of your insane fans in small shrines in their basements.

I wish, whenever I took a road trip, that the route I take would be empty of any other cars.

Granted. A nanovirus is released just before your road trip, and everything constructed of metal is dissolved. Strangely, your car is unaffected by the nanovirus. People line up along the side of the road to throw bricks and rocks at your car as you drive through.

I still wish clowns and mimes never existed, without killing those people who are currently clowns or mimes, just that they chose a less nightmarish line of work.