Recent Posts
{runs through thread dressed as a corn beef sandwich and carrying a bottle of whiskey with a bonzai leperkahn stuffed inside}
{sets out chocolate & graham crackers; pokes stick through a poodle and holds it over the campfire until toasty & melty}
Don't bogart that bottle of Leperkhan!
Just make one yourself. There are a couple over at Moorluck's place that pop out near the bottom of the threads. After ya catch'em, just dice'em up, and reassemble like a ship in the bottle. If you have any pieces left over, just poke an egg in 'em.
Hmmm... bonsai poodles might work too...
Don't bogart that bottle of Leperkhan!Whoa, hey now! Are you my lawful twin or something?
No, Luke... I... AM... your... FATHER.
Actually, I'm your second cousin, twice removed (once legally) on your Mother's side.... you know the BLUE slaad side of the family.
... and never use the L-word in front of me.
Best. April. Fool's. Ever.
Get this. I set up a hot dog stand, like I was selling hot dogs right? And this lady comes up and asks me for a hot dog. I tell her it will be three dollars, and she hands me a five. So then I only give her back one dollar in change, and she's like, "Shouldn't the change be two dollars?" And that's when I lept over the cart, plunged my proboscis into her abdomen and implanted my writhing spawn into her shuddering corpse. And I yelled out,
It was awesome.
Ooh, Ooh! I just did another one.
So I went to this guy's house and knocked on his door, and when he answered, I was like, "I'm from the Department of Health. We've been trying to track you down for a while now. We detected an unusual disease in a blood sample you gave a long time ago, and based on our calculations, we think you have two to three days to live." So then the guy starts wailing and crying on the ground, and that's when I jumped on him and implanted my spawn into his flank, where they came erupting out in a gory mess, and I shouted,
So awesome.
Heh. Heh. This day keeps getting better.
I walked into a classroom and told all the kids, "Sorry, your teacher is dead." Then they all got upset and started crying and stuff, so then I egged every last one of them and shouted, but I don't think they got it. They will in a few hours when the eggs hatch.
Joke's on them, though, because their teacher wasn't really dead.
So I was walking down this street, and this guy calls out "Oh my God! It's a slaad! Run for your lives!" And for some reason I just started crying, right there on the curb. He took pity on me and asked if I was okay. I told him that it's hard being a slaad sometimes, because everyone thinks you're some kind of monster. Sometimes it would just be nice to go to the store, or the park, or the movie theater, and not be met by cringes and stares. I told him people assume we are all the same and we're not.
So I was walkin' down the street and I sees this lady with a baby in one of them sling thingies, lugging a big ol' bag of groceries. So I, being a friendly sorta slaad, says, "Hey lady! You want help carrying them groceries?"
She looks me over, doesn't scream (maybe she's a slaad-perv, I dunno), and says, "Yes, that would be nice."
So I grabs her kid, sling and all, and says,"APRIL FOOL'S, b%*%*, I've got my own groceries to carry now!"
