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Dan Qu, er, Potatoe Slaade, Tue, Jun 2, 2009, 07:48 PM

Herre is you're halfe a slaade, Sytte!

<Double-take as there are no longer two halves of a slaad>

Eieiooooooooo!!!

<Dies>

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth, Tue, Jun 2, 2009, 07:52 PM

Cobb Slaad wrote:

<Reforms from the stuff of chaos>

That wasn't nice. Who gave you the axe?

Sytt, you jerk! Oh, anarchic shuriken. Sure! I'll take those. Here's the dressing.

Heh heh...now just need some croutons. Hey, hurry up with the slaad or I'm taking the ax back. Tell ya what, I'll give you a bit o' extra time if ya give me some croutons as a deposit.

Cobb Slaad, Tue, Jun 2, 2009, 08:08 PM

Your ax is on the floor, next to the impostor-Potato Slaad. I'd pick it up, but it's hot and it hurts and stuff.

Tossed Slaad, Tue, Jun 2, 2009, 08:08 PM

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

Cobb Slaad wrote:

<Reforms from the stuff of chaos>

That wasn't nice. Who gave you the axe?

Sytt, you jerk! Oh, anarchic shuriken. Sure! I'll take those. Here's the dressing.

Heh heh...now just need some croutons. Hey, hurry up with the slaad or I'm taking the ax back. Tell ya what, I'll give you a bit o' extra time if ya give me some croutons as a deposit.

I've got croutons. Make me an offer.

Taco Slaad, Tue, Jun 2, 2009, 08:18 PM

Ai de dios! I leave to go get cervezas and just look at the chaos!

It's so ... beautiful!

Yo me gusta chaos!

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth, Tue, Jun 2, 2009, 08:19 PM

Tossed Slaad wrote:

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

Cobb Slaad wrote:

<Reforms from the stuff of chaos>

That wasn't nice. Who gave you the axe?

Sytt, you jerk! Oh, anarchic shuriken. Sure! I'll take those. Here's the dressing.

Heh heh...now just need some croutons. Hey, hurry up with the slaad or I'm taking the ax back. Tell ya what, I'll give you a bit o' extra time if ya give me some croutons as a deposit.

I've got croutons. Make me an offer.

"Alright. I'll give ya a, uh...huh. Okay, I'll give ya this cool rock I found if you give me croutons. The rock may or may not be a grey lodestone from 3rd edition.

Caesar Slaad, Tue, Jun 2, 2009, 09:03 PM

I got croutons. Heck, I'm all about croutons. Got bacon bits too. Wanna see my bacon bits?

Fruit Slaad, Tue, Jun 2, 2009, 10:19 PM

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

Gark the Goblin wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Gark the Goblin wrote:

Tarren Dei wrote:

Fruit Slaad wrote:

Tarren Dei wrote:

Fruit Slaad wrote:

Caesar Slaad wrote:

Enough niceties. Slaadtown's been a breeding ground for bacteria for too long. I say it's time to put someone in the spinner. That's right. Time for a turf war.

No no no... you gotta get washed first, then go in the spinner.
And wouldn't it be a garden war? Slaadi don't come from turf. We come from gardens. See, this is what comes from being so old... you don't know anything cause you're going senile.

I come from a garden. You're imported from Mexico on a truck.

Nah, I'm organically grown. How do cows come from gardens?

Whoops. Avatar mishap. Let's try that again.

See, cows kinda trample everything they see. The only thing that could grow in a "cow garden" would be mushrooms (from the crap).

Ignore him, he's afraid of cows. Goblins provide excellent nutrients which, when combined with cow stomach acids, make them invulnerable. As such, cows are constantly attacking the sad creatures.

No, I'm afraid of horses. And dogs. But not cows. Cows are fat and tasty.
And all non-slaad, please go. This isn't a thread for the lawfuls/extraplanars (being not from the Maelstrom).

I'm sorry, at what point did goblins, Neutral Evil creatures, become anywhere close to being slaadi? ;)
Hey, slaadi. Anyone know where the ranch is? Though you better avoid it, Gark. It gots cows in it.

That was last post as Gark.
Begone, slaad-killers! And that means you, Dan Quayle! And the Pitchfork Salesman! And Slytt!
Slaad unite (even though that's a bit paradoxical...)!

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

The rock may or may not be a grey lodestone from 3rd edition.

Do you mean an ioun stone? Cause I hear they're great as currency on Golarion.
If you kill slaadi, we come back twice as strong... or is it twice as many... or twice as chaotic? Or maybe twice as uncertain...?

Fruit Slaad, Tue, Jun 2, 2009, 10:22 PM

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

Tossed Slaad wrote:

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

Cobb Slaad wrote:

<Reforms from the stuff of chaos>

That wasn't nice. Who gave you the axe?

Sytt, you jerk! Oh, anarchic shuriken. Sure! I'll take those. Here's the dressing.

Heh heh...now just need some croutons. Hey, hurry up with the slaad or I'm taking the ax back. Tell ya what, I'll give you a bit o' extra time if ya give me some croutons as a deposit.

I've got croutons. Make me an offer.

"Alright. I'll give ya a, uh...huh. Okay, I'll give ya this cool rock I found if you give me croutons. The rock may or may not be a grey lodestone from 3rd edition.

Trading isn't the slaad way! Just kill them and take it! (Of course, socializing isn't really the slaad way either, but then again we are chaotic.)

Fruit Slaad, Tue, Jun 2, 2009, 10:23 PM

Taco Slaad wrote:

Ai de dios! I leave to go get cervezas and just look at the chaos!

It's so ... beautiful!

Yo me gusta chaos!

Vale!

Egg Slaad, Tue, Jun 2, 2009, 10:28 PM

Fruit Slaad wrote:

Trading isn't the slaad way! Just kill them and take it! (Of course, socializing isn't really the slaad way either, but then again we are chaotic.)

No no no, we trade and then kill them and take back the trade. Or kill the people they trade our goods with. Or not.

Potato Slaad, Wed, Jun 3, 2009, 03:40 AM

Egg Slaad wrote:

Fruit Slaad wrote:

Trading isn't the slaad way! Just kill them and take it! (Of course, socializing isn't really the slaad way either, but then again we are chaotic.)

No no no, we trade and then kill them and take back the trade. Or kill the people they trade our goods with. Or not.

Can't we kill them first, then do the trading?

Leaf Ericson, Wed, Jun 3, 2009, 05:25 AM

Wow, a salad thread! That's pretty neat!

You're, um, not salads.

Taco Slaad, Wed, Jun 3, 2009, 05:31 AM

Leaf Ericson wrote:

Wow, a salad thread! That's pretty neat!

<looks around>

You're, um, not salads.

<Backs away slowly>

MMM...

Yo me gusta salad!

Whips out fork and ranch dressing

Tossed Slaad, Wed, Jun 3, 2009, 06:34 AM

Sometimes the best way to be chaotic is to be lawful when people don't expect it.

Think about it.

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth, Wed, Jun 3, 2009, 07:16 AM

Fruit Slaad wrote:

That was last post as Gark.
Begone, slaad-killers! And that means you, Dan Quayle! And the Pitchfork Salesman! And Slytt!
Slaad unite (even though that's a bit paradoxical...)!

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

The rock may or may not be a grey lodestone from 3rd edition.

Do you mean an ioun stone? Cause I hear they're great as currency on Golarion.
If you kill slaadi, we come back twice as...

I think it's three times, actually.
And my name is Sytt. No 'l'.

Fruit Slaad, Wed, Jun 3, 2009, 10:45 AM

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

Fruit Slaad wrote:

That was last post as Gark.
Begone, slaad-killers! And that means you, Dan Quayle! And the Pitchfork Salesman! And Slytt!
Slaad unite (even though that's a bit paradoxical...)!

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

The rock may or may not be a grey lodestone from 3rd edition.

Do you mean an ioun stone? Cause I hear they're great as currency on Golarion.
If you kill slaadi, we come back twice as...

I think it's three times, actually.
And my name is Sytt. No 'l'.

Whatever. You're still here.
And if not changing my mind right away isn't lawfulness, what is?

Fruit Slaad, Wed, Jun 3, 2009, 02:32 PM

Taco Slaad wrote:

Leaf Ericson wrote:

Wow, a salad thread! That's pretty neat!

<looks around>

You're, um, not salads.

<Backs away slowly>

MMM...

Yo me gusta salad!

Whips out fork and ranch dressing

I thought you had to go? Come back for some more slaad?

Potato Slaad, Wed, Jun 3, 2009, 02:34 PM

Tossed Slaad wrote:

Think about it.

I prefer not to......it hurts.

Fruit Slaad, Wed, Jun 3, 2009, 02:41 PM

Potato Slaad wrote:

Tossed Slaad wrote:

Think about it.

I prefer not to......it hurts.

You need some apples. They give a +2 inherent bonus to Intelligence (side effects include nausea, dizziness, not being able to go to the doctor's, losing teeth, vomiting, high blood pressure, frequent need to...).

Taco Slaad, Wed, Jun 3, 2009, 02:44 PM

Fruit Slaad wrote:

I thought you had to go? Come back for some more slaad?

No, mi amigo, I said I just got back. Cerveza? I have Dos Equuis!

Potato Slaad, Wed, Jun 3, 2009, 03:32 PM

Taco Slaad wrote:

Cerveza? I have Dos Equuis!

Mmmm.....beer.

Ranch Dretching, Thu, Jun 4, 2009, 05:27 AM

Somebody asked for some Ranch Dretching?

Tossed Slaad, Thu, Jun 4, 2009, 06:39 AM

This is still the best thread ever.

Potato Slaad, Thu, Jun 4, 2009, 09:44 AM

Tossed Slaad wrote:

This is still the best thread ever.

Of course it is. We celebrate the endless variety and excellent taste you get with all things Slaad! How could anything be better?

Fruit Slaad, Thu, Jun 4, 2009, 11:01 AM

Potato Slaad wrote:

Tossed Slaad wrote:

This is still the best thread ever.

Of course it is. We celebrate the endless variety and excellent taste you get with all things Slaad! How could anything be better?

Well, if we had some slaad chicks. (Or, no, that doesn't work... maybe some humanoids to implant eggs in? Is there even such a thing as female slaad?)
Or maybe some more dresses. (Do we dress in drag? Do we even have genders? This is all very confusing. I think I'm having an identity crisis.)
I'm gonna go see this lillend I know, who's got some really nice sedatives.

Ranch Dretching, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 06:16 AM

You look like you need some Ranch Dretching!

Tossed Slaad, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 08:26 AM

Mmm. Dretching.

Fruit Slaad, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 10:58 AM

Ranch Dretching wrote:

<Jumps on Tossed Slaad>

You look like you need some Ranch Dretching!

You don't look like you're from a ranch...

Ranch Dretching, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 12:14 PM

Fruit Slaad wrote:

Ranch Dretching wrote:

<Jumps on Tossed Slaad>

You look like you need some Ranch Dretching!

You don't look like you're from a ranch...

Moo?

Ranch Dretching, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 12:15 PM

A joke for all you slaads: What did I say when someone opened the refrigerator door?

Spoiler:

Egg Slaad, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 12:18 PM

Ranch Dretching wrote:

A joke for all you slaads: What did I say when someone opened the refrigerator door?

** spoiler omitted **

I like this dretch, even though even though it clashes with my taste profile. It has a good sense of alternate uses of one of my core components. ;)

Tossed Slaad, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 12:33 PM

Can we invite the dretching to Slaadcon?

Caesar Slaad, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 02:18 PM

Sure. I was going to bring my little Caesar dretching anyways. Everyone bring their own dretching and no swapping.

Ranch Dretching, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 02:23 PM

Hooray! I'm going to SlaadCon! It's so much better than getting eaten by a vrock.

Caesar Slaad, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 02:31 PM

Ranch Dretching wrote:

Hooray! I'm going to SlaadCon! It's so much better than getting eaten by a vrock.

But ... what did you think was going to happen to you at SlaadCon?

Poppyseed Dretch-ing, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 02:36 PM

Eep!

Poppyseed Dretch-ing, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 02:37 PM

Caesar Slaad wrote:

Ranch Dretching wrote:

Hooray! I'm going to SlaadCon! It's so much better than getting eaten by a vrock.

But ... what did you think was going to happen to you at SlaadCon?

Stop being so dretchy.

Fruit Slaad, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 02:38 PM

Caesar Slaad wrote:

Ranch Dretching wrote:

Hooray! I'm going to SlaadCon! It's so much better than getting eaten by a vrock.

But ... what did you think was going to happen to you at SlaadCon?

Mmmm...

Bleu Cheese Slaad, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 03:09 PM

Caesar Slaad wrote:

Ranch Dretching wrote:

Hooray! I'm going to SlaadCon! It's so much better than getting eaten by a vrock.

But ... what did you think was going to happen to you at SlaadCon?

Cheese anyone?

Potato Slaad, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 03:11 PM

Mmmmm.....cheese.

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 05:44 PM

Poppyseed Dretch-ing wrote:

Caesar Slaad wrote:

Ranch Dretching wrote:

Hooray! I'm going to SlaadCon! It's so much better than getting eaten by a vrock.

But ... what did you think was going to happen to you at SlaadCon?

Stop being so dretchy.

No need to worry about the vrocks... *Grins and starts tying a napkin around neck*

Fruit Slaad, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 06:57 PM

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

Poppyseed Dretch-ing wrote:

Caesar Slaad wrote:

Ranch Dretching wrote:

Hooray! I'm going to SlaadCon! It's so much better than getting eaten by a vrock.

But ... what did you think was going to happen to you at SlaadCon?

Stop being so dretchy.

No need to worry about the vrocks... *Grins and starts tying a napkin around neck*

'Least Sytt isn't a greater yugoloth, or it would be harder to eat him.

Egg Slaad, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 07:11 PM

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

Poppyseed Dretch-ing wrote:

Caesar Slaad wrote:

Ranch Dretching wrote:

Hooray! I'm going to SlaadCon! It's so much better than getting eaten by a vrock.

But ... what did you think was going to happen to you at SlaadCon?

Stop being so dretchy.

No need to worry about the vrocks... *Grins and starts tying a napkin around neck*

Sytt, sytt ... who's a good Yugoloth? You're a good Yugoloth. Sytt, stay.

Good ... Boy? Girl? Asexual Outsider?

Fruit Slaad, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 07:16 PM

Egg Slaad wrote:

Sytt, Lesser Yugoloth wrote:

Poppyseed Dretch-ing wrote:

Caesar Slaad wrote:

Ranch Dretching wrote:

Hooray! I'm going to SlaadCon! It's so much better than getting eaten by a vrock.

But ... what did you think was going to happen to you at SlaadCon?

Stop being so dretchy.

No need to worry about the vrocks... *Grins and starts tying a napkin around neck*

Sytt, sytt ... who's a good Yugoloth? You're a good Yugoloth. Sytt, stay.

<tosses a Yugoloth treat to Sytt>

Good ... Boy? Girl? Asexual Outsider?

We should ask a Paizo rep what genders (if any) outsiders have in PF. I mean, has anyone ever seen a feminine slaad or yugoloth?

Cobb Slaad, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 07:26 PM

Fruit Slaad wrote:

We should ask a Paizo rep what genders (if any) outsiders have in PF. I mean, has anyone ever seen a feminine slaad or yugoloth?

I've got my eye on a cute Greek Slaad. She is hot.

King of the Crosstrade, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 07:28 PM

Fruit Slaad wrote:

We should ask a Paizo rep what genders (if any) outsiders have in PF. I mean, has anyone ever seen a feminine slaad or yugoloth?

You called?

And take me on my word about the feminine yugoloth thing. That other rumor about yugoloth gender, well... we don't like to talk about that.

Fruit Slaad, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 07:40 PM

I think this thread needs to be cleansed of puns... phunnigated.

Fruit Slaad, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 07:41 PM

King of the Crosstrade wrote:

Fruit Slaad wrote:

We should ask a Paizo rep what genders (if any) outsiders have in PF. I mean, has anyone ever seen a feminine slaad or yugoloth?

You called?

And take me on my word about the feminine yugoloth thing. That other rumor about yugoloth gender, well... we don't like to talk about that.

The ambiguous gender? Cause you certainly got that right.

Ranch Dretching, Fri, Jun 5, 2009, 08:03 PM

Fruit Slaad wrote:

I think this thread needs to be cleansed of puns... phunnigated.

How about another joke?

Why did the tomato turn red?

Spoiler: