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Paizo / Messageboards / Paizo Community / Off-Topic Discussions / Archives / The CORBOSSY -or- Jason and the Bulmahnauts     Recent Posts Facebook Twitter Email
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The CORBOSSY -or- Jason and the Bulmahnauts
Bulmahnaut #1,

Minotaur avatar

Damn you Sneaky Sahuagin!

It's time for a fish fry!

Starts hurling harpoons down at the uncomely denizen of the deep.

Go back to Innsmouth where you belong!

Cheliax Bulmahnaut #3,

Minotaur avatar

Smakes the sneaky sea devil with a +4 sahuagin bane oar.Gettonoutahere!

Bulmahnaut #5,

Minotaur avatar

starts to patch the holes left by fish-boy

Bulmahnaut #6 - The Bard,

Minotaur avatar

Fascinates stupid sneaky Sahuagin by plugging the holes with pickles.

Bulmahnaut #8,

Skull-of-Prophecy 1 avatar

Can I take my thumbs out yet?

Bulmahnaut #20,

Minotaur avatar

Jason, Lord of the Bulmahnauts wrote:
Do not worry #3, you are all my favored children. Now, if you don't mind, I am going to go take a nap. Somebody wake me when the herd reaches 20.

Jason! By my count the herd has reached 20!

What is our reward?

Bulmahnaut #1,

Minotaur avatar

Well done, fellow Bulmahnauts. We've fixed the leaks, fought off the foe, and added to the herd. Keep up the good work!

Maybe we should reward ourselves by raiding some place along the way? Do any of these islands have a Super Walmart?

Stroke!

Stroke!

Bulmahnaut #20,

Minotaur avatar

Bulmahnaut #1 wrote:
Do any of these islands have a Super Walmart?

Stroke!

Stroke!


Maybe on Lemnos?

Salutes and looses consciousness.

Bulmahnaut #5,

Minotaur avatar

We're going to pillage something?

goes below deck to gather his weapons

Bulmahnaut #6 - The Bard,

Minotaur avatar

"YES! I put 4 ranks into Pillage!"

Bulmahnaut #8,

Skull-of-Prophecy 1 avatar

I'll help as soon as I get my thumbs back!

Bulmahnaut #5,

Minotaur avatar

Are we going to burn anything when we pillage? I haven't started a fire in a couple of hours...

Bulmahnaut #4,

Hs Devil Bar Wench Final avatar

Sure, let's have a BBQ! Strips of her clothes Well Solnes said it worked for her.

Cheliax Bulmahnaut #3,

Minotaur avatar

eye roll

Bulmahnaut #20,

Minotaur avatar

Bulmahnaut #4 wrote:
Sure, let's have a BBQ! Strips of her clothes Well Solnes said it worked for her.

Regains conciousness.

Hello.

Skreynite,

Gull 1 avatar

/throws off the crate

What's this about the right? If this boat is moving to the right, I'm outta here.

You bunch of fear mongering warhawks...

/flaps off toward the far left

Bulmahnaut #8,

Skull-of-Prophecy 1 avatar

<Shakes hands with sore thumbs>

Oh darn it! Supper left.

Bulmahnaut #6 - The Bard,

Minotaur avatar

"I hereby christen this ship 'Zoolander' because it can't turn left!"

Bulmahnaut #1,

Minotaur avatar

What's all this nose-ring jangling about? Of course the ship can't turn left, but it can sure turn port! Pulls the tiller all the way to the right, sending the CORBOSSY hard port, causing the surging ship to plow right into the flapping gull, who'd left to the left.

Bulmahnaut #8,

Skull-of-Prophecy 1 avatar

Excellent job, #1.

<Puts dinner back under the crate>

Bulmahnaut #6 - The Bard,

Minotaur avatar

"I have a question, how can we as bull-men use feats if we have hooves?"

Bulmahnaut #5,

Minotaur avatar

Why, it's simple #6! We just...uuh...that is, we can...no wait, that's not right either....

Well crap! I'm not sure. I think that's a mystery only the great Lord Jason can answer.

Bulmahnaut #6 - The Bard,

Minotaur avatar

"Maybe we can use Improved Bull Rush..."

Bulmahnaut #8,

Skull-of-Prophecy 1 avatar

Bulmahnaut #6 - The Bard wrote:
"Maybe we can use Improved Bull Rush..."

Or maybe someone can cast Bull's Strength.

Bulmahnaut #5,

Minotaur avatar

Maybe we can invent our own feats - Improved Rowing....

Bulmahnaut #1,

Minotaur avatar

One thing's for sure: we're all about the BULL.

Bulmahnaut #6 - The Bard,

Minotaur avatar

One thing's for sure: we're all about the BULL, man.

Bulmahnaut #1,

Minotaur avatar

How many mandibles may a bull man handle if a bull man handles mandibles?

Bulmahnaut #5,

Minotaur avatar

Crap, I suck at counting!

Bulmahnaut #4,

Hs Devil Bar Wench Final avatar

So where are we going anyway? Is there any good shopping?

Bulmahnaut #1,

Minotaur avatar

Well, I suggested pillaging a SuperWalmart, and 20 mentioned Lemnos. Is it a Greek Island? What's there?

On the other hand, I bet that there's a SW between here and Lemnos, so we could supply on the way.

Bulmahnaut #9,

Minotaur avatar

Lemnos is the island of Prefecture Lesbos, home of the legendary Lesbians and labyrinth in Lemnos.

Bulmahnaut #5,

Minotaur avatar

Bulmahnaut #9 wrote:
Lemnos blah blah blah word word word, home of blah blah Lesbians blah blah word word.

Sounds great! Let's go!

Bulmahnaut #1,

Minotaur avatar

Why didn't you say so before!

Begins rowing a lot harder.

C'mon, Bard, lay down a faster beat!

Bulmahnaut #5,

Minotaur avatar

I've got one of those TomTom devices. It'll help us find a Super Walmart on the way, so we can get supplies.

Bulmahnaut #1,

Minotaur avatar

How much farther?

And be sure it's a wet store, and not a dry one, by Jason's parched pipe!

Bulmahnaut #6 - The Bard,

Minotaur avatar

"You know I love beating my drum, but why don't we just use this Gnomaha Outboard Motor?"

Bulmahnaut #1,

Minotaur avatar

Because these awesome minotaur upper bodies weren't built by lounging around the ship all day?

Paizo Employee Jason, Lord of the Bulmahnauts,

B 3-Akaruzug avatar

Well, I am finally dry now..

I would like to reach port by nightfall men... my supply of rum is nearly gone.. and I have already drank all of yours.

Sneaky Sahuagin,

314 avatar

Hey, my hometown has a super Walmart. And I assure you its wet! I'll help you get there if you want. Its only 10,000 or so fathoms from here.

Bulmahnaut #1,

Minotaur avatar

Maybe we can make St George's or Fort Hamilton in Bermuda by nightfall? We can pick up Gosling's Black Seal rum there, while I've never seen it in Walmarts (not even the Walmarts that have Belgian ale!)

Hmm...maybe we can also scrounge up some tequila? I've heard that sticking a sauhuagin in a barrel of tequila and leaving it there for a year or two does wonders for both the tequila and the sauhuagin...

Bulmahnaut #8,

Skull-of-Prophecy 1 avatar

Bulmahnaut #1 wrote:
Maybe we can make St George's or Fort Hamilton in Bermuda by nightfall? We can pick up Gosling's Black Seal rum there, while I've never seen it in Walmarts (not even the Walmarts that have Belgian ale!)

Hmm...maybe we can also scrounge up some tequila? I've heard that sticking a sauhuagin in a barrel of tequila and leaving it there for a year or two does wonders for both the tequila and the sauhuagin...


<Knocks sahuagin off the boat before Bulmahnaut #1 finishes>

Aw damn!

Bulmahnaut #5,

Minotaur avatar

Checks the charts for the nearest source of booze

Bulmahnaut #1,

Minotaur avatar

Hours later in Hamilton, Bermuda...

Hey guys, you going to help me with these barrels of rum? Lord Jason wanted us here last night, and we are behind schedule.

Bulmahnaut #8,

Skull-of-Prophecy 1 avatar

<Hefts 8 barrels of rum>

Only 92 more to go...

Bulmahnaut #1,

Minotaur avatar

Thanks, 8.

Point of order. I have been calling the ship the CORBOSSY, but really, I should have been calling it the CORBO. The entire voyage and the story of our adventures should make up the CORBOSSY, per the thread title.

Bulmahnaut #20,

Minotaur avatar

Empties a few dozen barrels.

That should be... easier... now... hic!

Passes out and throws up on 1's hooves.

Bulmahnaut #1,

Minotaur avatar

Ugh!

Hey, 8, let's stuff 20 in one of these empty barrels and let Lord Jason discover him. Would serve 20 right.

Cheliax Bulmahnaut #3,

Minotaur avatar

slowly rises from a rum barrel Eh, did somebody say rum?

Bulmahnaut #1,

Minotaur avatar

Well, 3, we've got to replace these empty barrels with something...

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