Malice Jack rubs his metalled fists together

[Monty Burns impersonation]Excellent[/Monty Burns impersonation]

I have been asked to temporarily join this cult. How may I be of service?

I have been asked to temporarily join this cult. How may I be of service?

Points to the kitchen.

"Dishes. Wash. Dry. Put away... MOVE IT!"

*Does the dishes, but drops them when finished* Smash!
*Breaks into a Budwieser truck* "Here are your beers, sir"
"I am sorry I cannot promote different cults, it is against the Rent-A-Minion ideals.

Lord Jack, I think it would be a good idea NOT to deal with mercenaries again.

Hey, buddy, watch it. I'm a minion, not a mercenary!

Table Setting Tips for Football Season

Football is in the air this season. Bring the fun of the sport to your dinner table – it’s sure to be a touchdown with your Hungry Jack® Family!

What you’ll need:

A Green Table Cloth
Two Small Pom-Poms
A Football
White Crepe Paper
Confetti
Brown Plates
White Tableware
Brown Construction Paper
A Marker
Scissors

Directions:

1. Place the green table cloth on the table. Place the White Crepe paper along the table to create lines on your “field”.

2. Place the pom-poms and football in the center of the table for a centerpiece.

3. Cut footballs out of paper to create name cards. Set the table depending on the amount of guests that will be at dinner.

4. Spread the confetti around the table for extra decoration. You may also find other football-themed products for your table such as football cups, plates or bowls.

Now you're a chef and a party planner? Bet we're the only cult that has that.

Now you're a chef and a party planner? Bet we're the only cult that has that.

*A dagger, dripping with blue ichor, is hurled through a nearby window and is embedded in the wall. There is a note attached.*

Dear cultists, as you may know, you released a swarm of little blue monstrocities with speech impediments upon the Thieves Guild last night. Now, if you only attacked the thief who stole from you, you wouldn't be getting this message. But no, you had to attack the guild as a whole. That, my good enemies, means war.
-The Masked Rogue

Dread lord, what are your orders? We can't let this go unanswered!

We must use the most powerful weapon in our arsenal, French Cooking! That and sick the poodles on them.

*smoke bomb drops in*

PSHSHSHSHHSHHHH!!!!

Eat *cough* that!

It's a good thing we robots don't breath.

Damn

Beor slowly walks across the Cultist hall to the center

"Ahem", Beor clears his throat.

"All shall bow to me, or I will bring down upon you the Rise of the Boar. Submit or perish!"

What shall I do with this pig, sir?

Hmm .. give him to Hungry Jack and he might be able to make something useful from his carcass.

Yummy! Hungry Jack is going to make us some pork chops!

*Throws pig into a fire*

ZZZZzzZZzzzzZZZZZZZZ.........

-eh...? busy thread?....ZZzz... ake me on monday...ZZZzzz-

Dread lord, what are your orders? We can't let this go unanswered!

Let's show them the error of their ways.

Hmm .. give him to Hungry Jack and he might be able to make something useful from his carcass.

Ingredients:
• 12 (10-inch) wooden skewers
• 1/2 cup Hungry Jack® Microwave Ready Regular Syrup
• 1 fresh jalapeño chile, seeded, chopped
• 1 medium jicama
• 2 1/4 pounds boneless cooked ham, cut into 60 (3/4-inch) cubes
• 48 (3/4-inch) chunks fresh pineapple, (about 1/2 medium), peeled

Preparation Directions:
1. PLACE wooden skewers in shallow dish. Cover with water. Soak at least 30 minutes.
2. HEAT grill. In small saucepan, heat syrup and chile over medium heat until mixture comes to a boil, stirring occasionally. Set aside.
3. CUT jicama into 1/4-inch thick slices. Cut into 3/4-inch pieces. Alternately thread ham, jicama and pineapple on wooden skewers, using about 5 ham and 4 pineapple chunks on each skewer and ending with ham cube.
4. When ready to grill: PLACE skewers on gas grill over medium heat or on charcoal grill, 4 to 6 inches from medium coals. Cook 5 to 7 minutes or until heated, turning twice and brushing lightly with syrup mixture.

Yield: 12 kabobs
Prep Time: 30 min
Cook Time: 8 min

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:

Dread lord, what are your orders? We can't let this go unanswered!

*Cracks knuckles*

Let's show them the error of their ways.

I have opened a bag of holding full of our little blue friends, dread lord. I have personally trained them to be maneaters. That should keep the Thieves' Guild occupied for awhile.

I have opened a bag of holding full of our little blue friends, dread lord. I have personally trained them to be maneaters. That should keep the Thieves' Guild occupied for awhile.

Even more sm^rfs are on their way to the criminals my lord.

Maple Glazed Pork Tenderloin

Ingredients:
• 1 teaspoon dried thyme leaves, crushed
• 1 teaspoon dried marjoram leaves, crushed
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 pound pork tenderloin, cut into 1/2-inch slices
• 1 tablespoon butter or margarine
• 2 tablespoons Hungry Jack® Microwave Ready Regular Syrup

Preparation Directions:
1. COMBINE thyme, marjoram, salt, onion powder and garlic powder in large resealable food storage bag. Seal bag and shake well. Add pork slices. Seal bag. Shake to coat.
2. MELT butter in large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add pork mixture. Cook and stir 8 to 10 minutes or until pork is browned and no longer pink in center. Add syrup. Cook and stir until pork is glazed.

Yield: 4 servings
Prep Time: 7 min
Cook Time: 12 min

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:

I have opened a bag of holding full of our little blue friends, dread lord. I have personally trained them to be maneaters. That should keep the Thieves' Guild occupied for awhile.

Hopefully they eat a kobold or two as well...

Even more sm^rfs are on their way to the criminals my lord.

Angel of Violence wrote:

Even more sm^rfs are on their way to the criminals my lord.

We have Sm^RFS? Since when? Did I authorize this?

We are keeping the cute she-sm^rf for ourselves right?

We are keeping the cute she-sm^rf for ourselves right?

*Steals the Bag of Holding and the porkchops*

Wait, what do you mean more smuuoooh shoot I have to go. I'll say some witty phrase later.

*Grabs hs dagger out from the wall and leaves.*

Do you have a sm^rf fetish?

Here are your sm*rfs back
*dumps out another bag of holding full of blue*

I assume my work here is done?

I assume my work here is done?

Yes, my good friend, a member of the Frog Cult has agreed on meeting you here in case you were interested in a temporary truce.

Oy! Dis be true

I don't know Jack, tell me more.

*Ducks heads and runs for cover*

Yes, my good friend, a member of the Frog Cult has agreed on meeting you here in case you were interested in a temporary truce.

None officially declared. But gerrilla tactics are allowed. Ribbit

None officially declared. But gerrilla tactics are allowed. Ribbit

No problem! we are close pals, Their cultist leader has connections!

Besides, they are quite busy right now with the thieves.

In a short time these boards will go "Gangs of New York" on our avatar butts...

Oy! Les talkie polytiks! Truce? No gorilla stuff?

Hey Hungry Jack, do you have a recipe for frog legs?

Hey Hungry Jack, do you have a recipe for frog legs?