"Don't make me throw my D20 at you"

"Bacon: Nature's Salad"

"If all sacred places are spared the ravages of war,
then make all places sacred,
and if the holy people are to be kept harmless from the war,
then make all people holy"
-Silver Surfer

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, unless your enemy wants to eat you."
- Zach Parsons, quite possibly the smartest political mind on the Intarweb

As man advances in civilization, and small tribes are united into larger communities, the simplest reason would tell each individual that he ought to extend his social instincts and sympathies to all the members of the same nation, though personally unknown to him. This point being once reached, there is only an artificial barrier to prevent his sympathies extending to the men of all nations and races."

- The Descent of Man, 1871, Charles Darwin

"That just goes to show never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be good pudding, and you can spend all afternoon explaining that, but no ones going to eat it because you stuck your dick in it!"
- Yahtzee, Zero Punctuation review

"The ads say, 'Don't drink and drive; you don't want to be a statistic.' But you can't be a statistic. We say: 'Don't be a datum'."
- David E. Bock

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
- Pablo Picasso

Evey Hammond - "You're mad!"
Gordon Dietrich - "Either that or I wasn't breast-fed."
- 'V for Vendetta' (film version

"I've never f$%~ed a ten. Never f!*!ed a ten! But one night, I f~%*ed FIVE TWOS."
- George Carlin

"A girl has to protect her assets. And her breastets."
- Faye, 'Questionable Content'

"Married sex is like ordering a Civil War chess set through the mail- you get one piece every four to six weeks, and you don't know what shape it's gonna be in, but you still have to pay the handling charges."
- Bill Engvall

For believe me! — the secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment is: to live dangerously! Build your cities on the slopes of Vesuvius! Send your ships into uncharted seas! Live at war with your peers and yourselves! Be robbers and conquerors as long as you cannot be rulers and possessors, you seekers of knowledge! Soon the age will be past when you could be content to live hidden in forests like shy deer! At long last the search for knowledge will reach out for its due: — it will want to rule and possess, and you with it!
-Friedrich Nietzsche

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.
-Woody Allen

"Oh, say it ain't so, Joe!"

-Sarah Palin

"Oh, say it ain't so, Joe!"

-Sarah Palin

"Darn right!"

"My country is the world...and my religion is to do good."
-Thomas Paine

"No, no, don't cry! Baby seals are jerks, they deserve to be eaten. They're all horribly racist! And they think Hitler was a pretty okay dude! And if there's one thing killer whales hate, it's Nazis."
- Dora Bianchi, 'Questionable Content'

"All assassins had a full-length mirror in thier rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you are badly dressed."

"Teppic paused alongside a particularly repulsive gargoyle to consider his options. Fairly solid classroom rumor said that if he inhumed his examiner before the test, that was an automatic pass. He slipped a Number Three throwing knife from its thigh sheath and hefted it thoughfully. Of course, any attempt, any overt move which missed would attract immediate failure and loss of priveledges*

*Breathing, for a start"

"He speeded up, enjoying the coolness on his face, and leapt accurately off the end of the roof onto the narrow plank bridge that led across Tinlid Alley. And which someone, in defiance of all probability, had removed. At times like this one's past life flashes before one's eyes..."

Pyramids by terry pratchett

"Shut up", he explained.

"my friends..."
-McCain

"my friends..."

-McCain

Was that when he referred to Ted Kennedy as a "good friend"?

"No, no, don't cry! Baby seals are jerks, they deserve to be eaten. They're all horribly racist! And they think Hitler was a pretty okay dude! And if there's one thing killer whales hate, it's Nazis."

- Dora Bianchi, 'Questionable Content'

Heh. Good to see there's another QC fan out there.

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

"No, no, don't cry! Baby seals are jerks, they deserve to be eaten. They're all horribly racist! And they think Hitler was a pretty okay dude! And if there's one thing killer whales hate, it's Nazis."

- Dora Bianchi, 'Questionable Content'

Heh. Good to see there's another QC fan out there.

I'm a webcomic addict. I'm a big fan of QC, Weregeek, xkcd, Kevin's Journal Comic, and, of course, Order of the Stick.

kessukoofah wrote:

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

"No, no, don't cry! Baby seals are jerks, they deserve to be eaten. They're all horribly racist! And they think Hitler was a pretty okay dude! And if there's one thing killer whales hate, it's Nazis."

- Dora Bianchi, 'Questionable Content'

Heh. Good to see there's another QC fan out there.

I'm a webcomic addict. I'm a big fan of QC, Weregeek, xkcd, Kevin's Journal Comic, and, of course, Order of the Stick.

Oh, don't get me started on Addict. i just culled through my webcomic folder on monday, and it turns out that I read approximately 85 differant webcomics. and out of those, I think there are only 3 or 4 that I havn't read the entire archive for.

...you know, after reading that, i realized it's not something I should be proud of...oh well. some people do sports statistics, I do webcomics and 90s sitcoms.

I'll post a list if you're curious.

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

kessukoofah wrote:

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

"No, no, don't cry! Baby seals are jerks, they deserve to be eaten. They're all horribly racist! And they think Hitler was a pretty okay dude! And if there's one thing killer whales hate, it's Nazis."

- Dora Bianchi, 'Questionable Content'

Heh. Good to see there's another QC fan out there.

I'm a webcomic addict. I'm a big fan of QC, Weregeek, xkcd, Kevin's Journal Comic, and, of course, Order of the Stick.

Oh, don't get me started on Addict. i just culled through my webcomic folder on monday, and it turns out that I read approximately 85 differant webcomics. and out of those, I think there are only 3 or 4 that I havn't read the entire archive for.

...you know, after reading that, i realized it's not something I should be proud of...oh well. some people do sports statistics, I do webcomics and 90s sitcoms.

I'll post a list if you're curious.

The last thing I need is another addiction- right now, with playing music, listening to music, D&D, work, my art projects, books, webcomics, regular comics, Stargate Atlantis, I barely even have time to SLEEP.

heh. Sounds about right. bare in mind that you are saved only by the shear amount of work that would have to be done to properly link and rename all of them, and my desire to screw with you is surpassed only by my laziness.

I will however mention that I just read through the Casey and Andy Archives (It's done and not ongoing), and am currently enjoying Gunnerkrigg Court. Has a very "Sharn" feel to it I find.

And for the coolest quote ever: The Book of Job in the shape of the Satan character from the comic

And for the coolest quote ever: The Book of Job in the shape of the Satan character from the comic

Whoah...

And for the coolest quote ever: The Book of Job in the shape of the Satan character from the comic

My brain went MIA as soon as I saw that.

The profligacy of the age is such that we see little children not able to either walk or talk running about the streets and cursing their maker.-Sir Boyle Roache during a debate in the Irish House of Commons

Though there is no bone in the tongue, it has frequently broken a man's head.-Irish proverb

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English.-Winston Churchill

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.-George Bernard Shaw, "Reason"

Life is much too important a thing to ever talk seriously about it.-Oscar Wilde, Vera, Or the Nihilists

The play was a great success, but the audience was a total failure-Oscar Wilde, commenting on the first performance of his play, Lady Windemere's Fan

The only cure for love is marriage-Irish proverb

* Those who do not know their history are doomed to keep stepping in it.
o "The Vor Game", 1990

If you're trying to take a roomful of people by surprise, it's a lot easier to hit your targets if you don't yell going through the door.
o * "The Warrior's Apprentice", 1986

* Yeah, so I'm short. But wait'll you see me dance.
o "The Mountains of Mourning", 1989

If you're trying to take a roomful of people by surprise, it's a lot easier to hit your targets if you don't yell going through the door.
o * "The Warrior's Apprentice", 1986

True dat!

Crimson Jester wrote:

If you're trying to take a roomful of people by surprise, it's a lot easier to hit your targets if you don't yell going through the door.
o * "The Warrior's Apprentice", 1986

True dat!

I'm nothing if not subtle.

'I think I'll have another one'
-We aint got no more-
'What do ya mean you ain't got no more liqour'
-We aint got no more, go home-
'What do ya mean go home, what am I supposed to do... get on a horse and ride back to LA?'
-They've got no horse-
'What do you mean-they got no horse?'

-there's no HORSE-
'the hell you say...'
"suffer!"

I'm blind in Texas, the lone star is hot tonight

Life is 10% how you make it, 90% how you take it. -(not sure)

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. - Edmond Burke (I think)

Who said this (I just can't remember!): "What piece of s##& did I do now?"

It's from the head bad cop in "Leon, The Professional" I do believe.

Hannelore - "You mean you DON'T have morbid thoughts sometimes?

Dora - "Define 'morbid'."

Hannelore - "Like, when we were walking down the street, I could have pushed Marten into traffic and hit you over the head with that loose brick you tripped over."

Dora - "Hanners, I know you think... differently than most people, but that's honestly just disturbing."

Hannelore - "Why? Just because I THINK something doesn't mean that I'd DO it."

Marten - "Look at it this way, I coult TOTALLY smash you in the face with this coffee mug. How would that make YOU feel?"

Hannelore - "Well... I could dodge your swing and throw the tip jar in your face."

Marten - "Then I could block the flying coins with my arm and throw you across the counter."

Hannelore - "But that's what I was PLANNING on! I grab the broadsword from under the counter and swing at your head!"

Marten - "I BLOCK the sword with a stool and the blade sticks in the wood."

Hannelore - "I let go of the sword and push you backwards. You trip and fall!"

Marten - "I somersault to my feet and brandish a mop I found in the corner!"

Dora - "I cast magic missile, killing you both. I gain 120 experience points and 25 gold."

More from QC:

"Poem, eh? Roses are red, violets are blue, you're hot, let's f++%."
- Sven

"If we're gonna throw ethics out the window, we should just start a private security firm full of hot chicks. Blackwater meets Suicide Girls, that's where the real amoral money is."
- Dora

"...different generations went round through the whole stupid disaster again and again, shouting 'Remember Koom Valley!' as they did so*.

*Every society has to have a cry like that, but only in very few do they come out with the complete, unvarnished version, which is 'Remember-The-Atrocity-Committed-Against-Us-Last-Time-That-Will-Excuse-The- Atrocity-That-Were-About-To-Commit-Today! And So On! Hurrah!' "

-Thief of Time
Terry Pratchett

"Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, because I'm the evilest m*+&+!$~&*+@ in the valley."
- Written on the side of a Zippo lighter by an American soldier during the Vietnam War.

"We're on the express elevator to hell."
Unnamed pundit describing the U.S. economy. ;p

"Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, because I'm the evilest motherf*%~er in the valley."

- Written on the side of a Zippo lighter by an American soldier during the Vietnam War.

That's intense...

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

"Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, because I'm the evilest motherf*%~er in the valley."

- Written on the side of a Zippo lighter by an American soldier during the Vietnam War.

That's intense...

Yeah.

"Yeah, we're looking for elves. You don't see s#!# like this on Battlestar Galactica."
- Josh Gates, 'Destination Truth'

"Mentally unstable like a FOX!"
- Rodney McKay (David Hewlett), 'Stargate: Atlantis'

"The people's revolution is gonna be a podcast."

"You know how guys like Henry Rollins always say they give a hundred and ten percent, one-hundred percent of the time? We're the band that gives fifty percent."

- Fat Mike

"RAWHIDE!"

A day without sunshine is like night.

Today is a good day for someone else to die.

Terry Pratchett, Ramtop Dwarfs battle cry

"How does one crush his penis in a toilet seat? I am alone in a hotel room in Stockholm with this information. I have a penis. And I have a bathroom. And I have a night off. And I have a cuuuuuurious mind. I want to know these things. And now you see how pathetically, desperately lonely I am."
- Henry Rollins

You can't change a writer's words without his permission. That's sacrilege. - Jake Sisko to Nog after the Nog editted one of the Jakes stories (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)

Q: Welcome to the afterlife, Jean-Luc. You're dead.

Q: I told you. You're dead. This is the afterlife. And I'm God.

Picard: No. I am not dead. Because I refuse to believe that the afterlife is run by you. The universe is not so badly designed.

- Q and Picard as Picard hovers on the brink of death. (Star Trek: The Next Generation)

I'm a doctor, not a (fill in occupation of your choice here)

-Every doctor on every Star Trek series at some point or another

Spock: In your own way you are as stubborn as another captain of the Enterprise I once knew.

Picard: Then I am in good company sir.

-Spock and Picard on Romulus, with Picard trying to convince Spock to listen to him (TNG)

I'm a science officer. It's my job to have a better idea. -Jadzia Dax to Kira Nerys (DS9)

Peace is good for business-Dax to Quark the 35th Rule of Acquisition (DS9)

War is good for business-Quark to Dax the 34th Rule of Acquisition (DS9)

And you people ... you're all astronauts on some kind of ... Star Trek
-Zefram Cochrane to William Riker when Riker is trying to convince Cochrane to make his warp flight (Star Trek: First Contact)

I'm a doctor, not a (fill in occupation of your choice here)

I'm a doctor, not a light switch.

"We escaped. ... Beckett helped."
- Rodney McKay

"I'm not wandering aimlessly, I'm exploring. There's a BIG difference."
- Rodney McKay

"HI! We're all spiritually f&%~ed-over from capitalism! How are YOU?!"
- The Whitest Kids U Know

"Music kicked my ass, and I owe it to the world to repay the favor."
- Ian MacKaye

I needed a drink. I needed a lot of life insurance. I needed a vacation. I needed a home in the country. What I had was a hat, a coat and a gun. I put them on and went out of the room.
-Raymond Chandler

When I got home I mixed a stiff one and stood by the open window in the living room and sipped it and listened to the groundswell of traffic on Lauren Canyon Boulevard and looked at the glare of the big angry city hanging over the shoulder of the hills through which the boulevard had been cut. Far off the banshee wail of police or fire sirens rose and fell, never for very long completely silent. Twenty four hours a day somebody is running, somebody else is trying to catch him. Out there in the night of a thousand crimes, people were dying, being maimed, cut by flying glass, crushed against steering wheels or under heavy tires. People were being beaten, robbed, strangled, raped, and murdered. People were hungry, sick; bored, desperate with loneliness or remorse or fear, angry, cruel, feverish, shaken by sobs. A city no worse than others, a city rich and vigorous and full of pride, a city lost and beaten and full of emptiness. It all depends on where you sit and what your own private score is. I didn't have one. I didn't care. I finished the drink and went to bed.
-Raymond Chandler

"Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, because I'm the evilest motherf#!!er in the valley."

- Written on the side of a Zippo lighter by an American soldier during the Vietnam War.

This one has got around. This is how I learned it:

"Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil cuz I scare the f!&+ out of evil."

I like the 'Nam version a little better.

"I want you to hit me as hard as you can."
- Tyler Durden

I've met God across his long walnut desk with his diplomas hanging on the wall behind him, and God asks me, "Why?" Why did I cause so much pain? Didn't I realize that each of us is a sacred, unique snowflake of special unique specialness? Can't I see how we're all manifestations of love? I look at God behind his desk, taking notes on a pad, but God's got this all wrong. We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens. And God says, "No, that's not right." Yeah. Well. Whatever. You can't teach God anything.

Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk

"I wanted to burn the Louvre. I'd do the Elgin Marbles with a sledgehammer and wipe my ass with the Mona Lisa. This is my world, now. This is my world, my world, and those ancient people are dead."
- Fight Club, by Chuck Palahniuk

"In defeat, malice. In victory, revenge."
- Yes, Minister