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"I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup. ... I'M COVERED IN BEEEES!"
- Eddie Izzard


C.S. Lewis
"It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satisfied; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience."


I wanna be sedated.
- Joey Ramone


Old Farmer's Advice:

. Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. .

. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. .

. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. .

. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. .

. Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled. ..

. Meanness don't jes' happen overnight. .

. Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads. .

. Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. ..

. It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge. .

. You cannot unsay a cruel word. .

. Every path has a few puddles. .

. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. .

. The best sermons are lived, not preached.

. Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway. .

. Don 't judge folks by their relatives. .

. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. .

. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a

second time. .

. Don 't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none. .

. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance. ..

. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'. .

. Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got. .

. The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with,

w atches you from the mirror every mornin'. .

. Always drink upstream from the herd. .

. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment. .

. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in. .

. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.. .


The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

VM mercenario wrote:

It requires twenty years for a man to rise from the vegetable state in which he is within his mother's womb, and from the pure animal state which is the lot of his early childhood, to the state when the maturity of reason begins to appear. It has required thirty centuries to learn a little about his structure. It would need eternity to learn something about his soul. It takes an instant to kill him.

I remember hearing Henry Rollins saying something similar in one of his spoken word pieces.

Uhm... Sorry forgot to put the tgs didn't I? That one is by the filosofer Voltaire. The third one is XKCD. The first one was a sig I saw in another forum.

Since I'm here, quotes: (This time without forgetting the tags)

Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated, and drunkenness sobered, but STUPID lasts forever. -Aristophanes

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. -Dr. Seuss

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. -Abraham Lincoln

Send anyone claiming that their RPG activity is an art form my way, and I'll gladly stick a pin in their head and deflate it just to have the satisfaction of the popping sound that makes….One might play a game artfully, but that makes neither the game nor its play art. -Gary Gygax

Remember, kids. With great power comes great opportunity to abuse that power. -Black mage







Gold is for the mistress - silver for the maid
Copper for the craftsman cunning in his trade.
"Good!" said the Baron, sitting in his hall
But iron - cold iron is master of them all.
Rudyard Kipling (1865 - 1936)


Vala - "Well, would you look at that."
Col. Mitchell - "Is that what I think it is?"
Vala - "No, it's a Goa'uld naquadah bomb."
Col. Mitchell - "For the record, that's what I thought it was."
Vala - "Yes, I'm sure you did."


When any government, or any church for that matter, undertakes to say to its subjects, This you may not read, this you must not see, this you are forbidden to know, the end result is tyranny and oppression, no matter how holy the motives. Mighty little force is needed to control a man whose mind has been hoodwinked; contrariwise, no amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack, not fission bombs, - not anything - you can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him.
-Robert A. Heinlein

An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.
-Robert A. Heinlein

Those who cling to the untrue doctrine that violence never settles anything would be advised to conjure up the ghosts of Napoleon Bonaparte and of the Duke of Wellington and let them debate it. The ghost of Hitler could referee, and the jury might well be the Dodo, the Great Auk, and the Passenger Pigeon. Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its worst. Nations and peoples who forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and freedoms.
-Robert A. Heinlein



Posting Blitz!



If you don't like the hand Fate has dealt you, fight for a new one! - Naruto Uzumaki



"That which does not kill us makes us stronger"
- Friedrich Nietzsche

"That which does not kill us might leave us disabled, disfigured, dismembered, discouraged, distressed, dependent, and in need of therapy."
- L. Aron Nelson


The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger"

- Friedrich Nietzsche

"That which does not kill us might leave us disabled, disfigured, dismembered, discouraged, distressed, dependent, and in need of therapy."
- L. Aron Nelson

WIN!!!


Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will leave permanent emotional scars.
- Anonymous





"A friend of mine wrote some Dr. Frankenstein-esque story about a mad scientist that was having sex with corpses in order to put the spark of life back into them. I just looked at him and said 'Really? Necrophilia is f&&#ing dead."

"We have to support our troops now, more than ever. They're caught between Iraq and a hard place."

- Jeff Smith-Luedke


A poem, again, from the great Jeff Smith-Luedke:

X vs. O

“XOXO” the letter concluded
and left us confused as to which letter alluded
to hugs and which letter alluded to kisses
To know which was which in letters from misses
My arms make an O, but our arms make an X
And my lips make an O, especially in sex
But X is nowhere, except for my eyes
When I shut my eyes tight and prepare for surprise
So it seems pretty clear that X is embrace
And O is for when I make my O-face.
But some people just won't put X in that spot
They think the reverse, which is likewise, but not.

Back when the Tic-Tac-Toe Battle began
It was on ONN and all over X-SPAN
The X's revolted, took over the O's
Sx xxdles xf wxrds lxxked glxxmy, mxrxse
because O is what eyes do when they're alive
and X is what eyes do when they have died.
It was then that the battle got out of hand
As they raced to replace all O's of the land
But there were so many, they could only edge in
By the time that the O's took o'er religion.
Praying “O Lord,” and “O God” they cried
long after the X's had God crucified.

So the X's moved on to movies of sexes
having sex with all sexes, marked by triple X's
So whenever they played everybody would see
This movie with letters three letters from Z.
They conquered a nation with X generation
An X and another for feminization.
Yet, still so far from defeating the O's
Who had taken to numbers, becoming zeros
The X's had their backs to the wall
And in vain, X became any number at all.

The O's campaigned in disinformation
Giving the X's a bad reputation
Disfortuned assortments of connotation
Were forced to perform self-immolation
bearing the mark of an Aryan nation
The X, an abominant alliteration!
You can see the direction the battle did go
This great battle, the Battle of Tic-Tac-Toe.
The X's defeat was as fatal as lethal
To be thought of as malice, as poison, as evil,

O is wherever good things reside
(To be good, you need two O's inside.)
O is for “open,” while X is to shun.
X's are toxic. O, oxygen.
O is for marriage, while X, for divorce.
We become both spoils and follies of wars
Joining the O's in X's persecution.
We forget X is the sign of revolution.
So say what you will, and come what may,
You just might end up needing X's some day.




Teal'c - "Are you ready, O'Neill?"
O'Neill - "Well, no. Give me a warning."
Teal'c - "I am going to shoot you."
O'Neill - "I was thinking more along the lines of 'on three." ... One..."
Teal'c - *fires*



"If a Christian wants to convert me, they need only to debate me for five minutes without quoting the bible, Dostoyevsky, or C.S. Lewis. Because then, I would know that miracles really exist."
- Del Griffith





"Hope lives. No matter the mistakes we make, no matter our blunders and misunderstandings, no matter the grief and sorrow and loss, no matter how deep the darkness, hope lives." Raistlin Majere

"It’s the sensible, logical thing to do, of course, which is why we don’t do it." Tanis Half-Elven

"The darkness might conquer, but it could never extinguish hope, and though one candle, or many, may flicker and die, new candles would be lit from the old. Thus hopes flame always burns, lighting the darkness until the coming of day." Tanis Half-Elven

"People want to believe in something-even if they know it is false." Tanis Half-Elven

"We will sing the hero songs ourselves."
Steel:"*To Chaos* You are wrong! We are everything. We are hope!"
Chaos:"Hope? I see no hope! I see only despair! *To the Solamnic Knights* Paladine is dead. You fight alone. *To the Knights of Takhisis* Takhisis has fled. You fight alone. There is no hope. You have no gods. What have you left?"
Steel:"Each other." Steel Brightblade

"No road is ever old" Kender saying

"Every path is the right path, unless it's the left fork" Kender saying

"Don’t change color to match the walls. Look like you belong and the walls will change color to match you." Kender proverb

Anything easy is more trouble than it's worth. Old kender saying


"I once punched a man so hard, his body just disappeared. And a second later, it rained biscuits. MAN biscuits."
- Rone Barton


The United States Army Infantryman's Creed

I am the Infantry.
I am my country's strength in war.
Her deterrent in peace.
I am the heart of the fight...
wherever, whenever.
I carry America's faith and honor
against her enemies.
I am the Queen of Battle.
I am what my country expects me to be...
the best trained solider in the world.
In the race for victory
I am swift, determined, and courageous,
armed with a fierce will to win.
Never will I betray my country's trust.
Always I fight on...
through the foe,
to the objective,
to triumph over all,
If necessary, I will fight to my death.
By my steadfast courage,
I have won more than 200 years of freedom.
I yield not to weakness,
to hunger,
to cowardice,
to fatigue,
to superior odds,
for I am mentally tough, physically strong,
and morally straight.
I forsake not...
my country,
my mission
my comrades,

my sacred duty.
I am relentless.
I am always there,
now and forever.
I AM THE INFANTRY!
FOLLOW ME!


Without sensibility no object would be given to us, without understanding no object would be thought. Thoughts without content are empty, intuitions without concepts are blind. Immanuel Kant, The Critique of Pure Reason


Various quotes from William Blake;

"He who desires, but acts not, breeds pestilence."

"The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind."

"Opposition is true Friendship."

"Always be ready to speak your mind, and a base man will avoid you."

"Children of the future Age
Reading this indignant page,
Know that in a former time
Love! sweet Love! was thought a crime."

"What is Grand is necessarily obscure to Weak men. That which can be made Explicit to the idiot is not worth my care."

"A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent."

"When I tell any Truth it is not for the sake of Convincing those who do not know it but for the sake of defending those who Do."


O'Neill - " So, T... who you takin' to the Cup?"
Teal'c - "..."
O'Neill - "Lord Stanley's Cup? Hockey, remember with the ice and skating? We went to a game last year."
Teal'c - "I believe the Canucks of Vancouver are superior warriors."
O'Neill - "Canucks, eh?... So, lunch?"


I've been called worse things by better people. - Pierre Trudeau, in response to an insult from Richard Nixon


I just watched "Cannibal: the Musical." F+#%ing genius, all of it. In particular, the disclaimer at the end of the film"

"Due to the graphic nature of this film, it should not have been watched by young children. Sorry."


More CtM:

Bell - "What is it, Packer?"
Packer - "Up over that ridge."
Miller - "Utes."
Packer - "No, I think they're Indians."
Noon - "Well, why are they wearing saddles?"
Bell - "Utes ARE Indians"
Swan - "Hey, you guys want to build a snowman or something?"
Bell - "Shut up, Swan."

Bell - "Could you tell me what tribe this is?"
Chief - "We are...Indians."
Bell - "Yes I see that, but what Indians?"
Chief - "You don't think we are Indians?"
Bell - "No, no, no, I just uh..."
Chief - "We have teepees!"
Bell - "Right! I see, but..."
Chief - "Look at all these teepees we have. Because...we are...Indians."
Packer - "Yeah, they have teepees."

Noon - "I may look tough and mean-spirited but I'm really a sensitive artist."
Tomomi - "That's very interesting."
Noon - "I paint, and I sculpt with my hands."
Tomomi - "That's very interesting too."
Noon - "You have no idea what I'm saying, do you?"
Tomomi - "That's very interesting."


Even more CtM:

Miller: Well haven't you ever heard of the Donner party?
Humphrey: Yeah, the Donner party, they got stuck in the California mountains.
Packer: They had to eat each other to stay alive.
Humphrey: Well heck yeah! Why not?!
Bell: Wait a minute Humphrey, you wouldn't even eat your shoes!
Humphrey: Well yeah, but you put your feet in shoes!

Humphrey: Oh, Stop!
Noon: That's sick.
Frenchy: I agree. Nutter, you were singing in the wrong key!
Nutter: No I wasn't. It was Loutzenheiser. I was singing in Eb minor.
Frenchy: The song's in F# major!
Bell: I think they're the same thing. I mean, Eb is the relative minor of F#.
Frenchy: No, it isn't. The relative minor is 3 half-tones down from the major, not up!
Noon: No, it's 3 down. Like A is the relative minor of C major.
Loutzenheiser: But isn't A# in C major?
Bell: Wait, are you singing mixolydian scales, or something?
Frenchy: A# is tonic to C major. It's the 6!
Humphrey: No it isn't!
Swan: Well, it'd be like a raised 13th if anything.
Frenchy: Oh well. You guys are just a bunch of loser diggers anyhow!
Humphrey: Oh see. You know we're right!

Silver Crusade (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber)

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

"I once punched a man so hard, his body just disappeared. And a second later, it rained biscuits. MAN biscuits."

- Rone Barton

This thread needs more Rone Barton quotes.


Celestial Healer wrote:
The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

"I once punched a man so hard, his body just disappeared. And a second later, it rained biscuits. MAN biscuits."

- Rone Barton
This thread needs more Rone Barton quotes.

That it does.


"What do you two think you're doing, fightin' at a time like this. You'll use up all the oxygen."
- Jayne Cobb


"This place gives me an uncomfortableness." - Jayne Cobb



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