My Mezzoloth vs. Fake Healer's "Man in a skirt"

Winner gets Delaware

Good luck. You wouldn't get past my minions to even challenge me, and yes, I would use my minions. Don't wanna waste my time on minor inconveniences.

FH

secretturchinman wrote:

My Mezzoloth vs. Fake Healer's "Man in a skirt"

Winner gets Delaware

Good luck. You wouldn't get past my minions to even challenge me, and yes, I would use my minions. Don't wanna waste my time on minor inconveniences.

FH

I think a Mezzoloth could handle the cast of "The Bird Cage".

I think I might be able to take down Emo Phillips.

http://imdb.com/name/nm0680073/

I don't hate him or anything, but I think he's one of the few in my league.

I think I might be able to take down Emo Phillips.

http://imdb.com/name/nm0680073/

I don't hate him or anything, but I think he's one of the few in my league.

Those tall skinny guys fight until their face is hamburger.

I bet I could take on the Dalai Lama.

Who would I fight? I've been keeping a list:

- Bret Michaels
- Greg Ginn
- Giancarlo Mignini
- Terry Goodkind
- Donald Rumsfeld
- those guys on the floor below me who party too f%#%ing much

Joe the Plumber

Snoop Dogg

The 1st time I laid eyes on either I just went all squinty. Snoop I just wanted to knock off of his little bike.

Joe is the worst of the two, though. I'd walk out of an orgy consisting of me and every female in the world I find attractive just for the opportunity to make him cry, preferably on tv. It isn't even the politics, although that helps. Mostly it's something abouty the type of cockiness. Dunno, but it doesn't matter. That's my pick.

Aarron Rodgers. If he could have kept his hands one the ball two weeks ago, the Colts would have won yesterday. Or else Glenn Beck, what an idiot.

Aarron Rodgers. If he could have kept his hands one the ball two weeks ago, the Colts would have won yesterday. Or else Glenn Beck, what an idiot.

You would take on a pro football player? I think even the place-kickers would kick my ass. (Pun intended.)

Beck though... Yeah, it doesn't take much to make that guy cry.

David Fryer wrote:

Aarron Rodgers. If he could have kept his hands one the ball two weeks ago, the Colts would have won yesterday. Or else Glenn Beck, what an idiot.

You would take on a pro football player? I think even the place-kickers would kick my ass. (Pun intended.)

I used to work out with a few football players, I could at least go a round or two with him. Besides, the question was who would you fight, not who could you beat. :)

Rush Limbaugh. I hate the way his jowls shake when he get excited or anxious. The words just slur and swish in his mouth, plus I hate that wire that comes out of his deafr ear. Makes him look and act like a borg spy or some imposter from "They Live."

Oh, and Sarah Palin. I wish she would just go away and let someone with a chance of winning get a word in edgewise.

Edit: And yes, I would hit a girl if it was Sarah Palin.

Glenn Beck.
I'd give that little pos a reason to cry.

Glenn Beck.

I'd give that little pos a reason to cry.

Give him drugs and watch him have a relapse...

Something about Willem Defoe's face makes me think he needs a good thrashing. And John Malkovich too, although, he's a good actor, so I wouldn't put him completely out of commission, just teach him a lesson.

As long as we're talking actors, Nick Cage has it coming. I'll do to his face what Gone in Sixty Seconds did to my brain.

No one.

Jesus Christ. Nothing personal, just something I'd like to be able to say I've done. Oh and I'd make sure to bring it up as often as possible. "Oh yeah, that totally reminds me of the time I got into a fist fight with Jesus Christ. Hell of a right hook that Jesus, hell of a right hook."

Abe Lincoln. See above.

Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck, vs Neil Patrick Harris, Ellen Degeneres and myself, cage match. I just want to beat on these three, but I don't hit women, hence the back up. With as gay as he is I'm pretty sure it's okay for NPH to fight a chick.

As long as we're talking actors, Nick Cage has it coming. I'll do to his face what Gone in Sixty Seconds did to my brain.

George Lucas, he has comming also.

Celestial Healer wrote:

As long as we're talking actors, Nick Cage has it coming. I'll do to his face what Gone in Sixty Seconds did to my brain.

George Lucas, he has comming also.

No he doesn't Fan Boys need to chill out.

Edit: And yes, I would hit a girl if it was Sarah Palin.

Wait...which definition of the verb "to hit" are we using? Are you saying the only way you would hit a girl is if it was Sarah Palin?

/would hit it too.
//Fark-isms? On Paizo! Never!!!
///slashies...

Celestial Healer wrote:

As long as we're talking actors, Nick Cage has it coming. I'll do to his face what Gone in Sixty Seconds did to my brain.

George Lucas, he has comming also.

I want my $8 back!

Jesus Christ. Nothing personal, just something I'd like to be able to say I've done. Oh and I'd make sure to bring it up as often as possible. "Oh yeah, that totally reminds me of the time I got into a fist fight with Jesus Christ. Hell of a right hook that Jesus, hell of a right hook."

Abe Lincoln. See above.

Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck, vs Neil Patrick Harris, Ellen Degeneres and myself, cage match. I just want to beat on these three, but I don't hit women, hence the back up. With as gay as he is I'm pretty sure it's okay for NPH to fight a chick.

This is so wrong and yet so funny.

Did you ever watch Billy Jack?

Prince That Howls wrote:

Jesus Christ. Nothing personal, just something I'd like to be able to say I've done. Oh and I'd make sure to bring it up as often as possible. "Oh yeah, that totally reminds me of the time I got into a fist fight with Jesus Christ. Hell of a right hook that Jesus, hell of a right hook."

Abe Lincoln. See above.

Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck, vs Neil Patrick Harris, Ellen Degeneres and myself, cage match. I just want to beat on these three, but I don't hit women, hence the back up. With as gay as he is I'm pretty sure it's okay for NPH to fight a chick.

This is so wrong and yet so funny.

Did you ever watch Billy Jack?

No, no I haven't. Should I have?

Might as well fight Chuck Norris.

David Fryer wrote:

Edit: And yes, I would hit a girl if it was Sarah Palin.

Wait...which definition of the verb "to hit" are we using?

The definition where I give them a punch in the face.

Sebastian wrote:

David Fryer wrote:

Edit: And yes, I would hit a girl if it was Sarah Palin.

Wait...which definition of the verb "to hit" are we using?

The definition where I give them a punch in the face.

I like the fark definition better...

Hmmmm where do I start
Dan White
The Baldwins all 3 at once (Come get it pussies)
Rush Limbaugh(I'd just hide his pills)
John Kerry (Hated his haircut, plus what a frikkin douche)
And George Lucas ( Damn you and your prequels)

Sebastian wrote:

David Fryer wrote:

Edit: And yes, I would hit a girl if it was Sarah Palin.

Wait...which definition of the verb "to hit" are we using?

The definition where I give them a punch in the face.

I would like to sub out Ellen Degeneres for Mr. Fryer in my cage match.

I'd fight that damn two-headed dragon from Dragontales. The one that is constantly shrilling "loooooove it." Good god, does that thing piss me off first thing in the morning while I'm trying to pack lunches and make breakfast.

Crimson Jester wrote:

Prince That Howls wrote:

Jesus Christ. Nothing personal, just something I'd like to be able to say I've done. Oh and I'd make sure to bring it up as often as possible. "Oh yeah, that totally reminds me of the time I got into a fist fight with Jesus Christ. Hell of a right hook that Jesus, hell of a right hook."

Abe Lincoln. See above.

Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck, vs Neil Patrick Harris, Ellen Degeneres and myself, cage match. I just want to beat on these three, but I don't hit women, hence the back up. With as gay as he is I'm pretty sure it's okay for NPH to fight a chick.

This is so wrong and yet so funny.

Did you ever watch Billy Jack?

No, no I haven't. Should I have?

He goes on a spirit walk in one of the movies where he needs to understand the "value" of fighting. In one of the scenes he finds a man surrounded by followers. He walks up to this long haired guy in robes and smacks him. The guy does not fight back nor does he allow his followers to retaliate. He then offers Billy Jack his other cheek to hit. Billy Jack's eyes go wide and he quickly leaves.

I have to add one. And this ones for you Kansas
I would beat the living hell out of FRED PHELPS!!!!!!

Sounds like MTV needs to revive Celebrity Deathmatch.

He goes on a spirit walk in one of the movies where he needs to understand the "value" of fighting. In one of the scenes he finds a man surrounded by followers. He walks up to this long haired guy in robes and smacks him. The guy does not fight back nor does he allow his followers to retaliate. He then offers Billy Jack his other cheek to hit. Billy Jack's eyes go wide and he quickly leaves.

Bah, that's no fun. I want to really scrap with the guy, not just hit him. Heh, although coming up with a taunt good enough to goad Jesus into a fist fight might be as much fun as the fight itself.

I have to add one. And this ones for you Kansas

I would beat the living hell out of FRED PHELPS!!!!!!

*Sigh* Really wish I had decked his daughter in the mouth when I had the chance.

O you mean Shirley Phelps-Roeper, Me and Ellen, and Fred and her anytime anywhere. Just saying.

David Fryer wrote:

Sebastian wrote:

David Fryer wrote:

Edit: And yes, I would hit a girl if it was Sarah Palin.

Wait...which definition of the verb "to hit" are we using?

The definition where I give them a punch in the face.

I would like to sub out Ellen Degeneres for Mr. Fryer in my cage match.

Can't we just make them compete on the Running Man?

Well if anyone does want to figh Sarah Palin you just have to say one line. "'So what magazines do you read and name them?'". And you'd have a fight to the death on your hands.

I have to add one. And this ones for you Kansas

I would beat the living hell out of FRED PHELPS!!!!!!

Thank you.

I still remember him on the Donahue show when it was filmed live here in Wichita and he showed up wearing thick gloves be cause he was afraid of getting the gay disease from a panelist.

He also wore a Bullwinkle hat and a big thick coat. It was weird.

Something about Willem Defoe's face makes me think he needs a good thrashing. And John Malkovich too, although, he's a good actor, so I wouldn't put him completely out of commission, just teach him a lesson.

That's why they almost always play bad guys.

Oh actually now that I think on it. Yeah there are four guys I would just love to jump in a back alley. Won't name them here. but if any know me you can guess real easy who I am thinking of.

Oh actually now that I think on it. Yeah there are four guys I would just love to jump in a back alley. Won't name them here. but if any know me you can guess real easy who I am thinking of.

My guesses:

Bi-bi-birrita-de-dah!
Zippidity-za-baroom-barra!
Doobeeda-bah-bah...

Scatbot. Now I've got that damned Scatman song stuck in my head.

Today, my life has meaning.

Today, my life has meaning.

*smack*

Today, my life has meaning.

*Shakes his fist*

You'll rue the day you crossed me. Rue it I say!

Thanks, CJ...I was turning into a poodle or something there for a second. Still, something good came out of it. Just look at PTH go.

Might as well fight Chuck Norris. ** spoiler omitted **

That's the spirit.

David Fryer, for bringing this thread back. He's historical in my book. :P