Testing a theory from here.

None so far.

Jason Bulmahn has sworn me to secrecy about the forbidden love we share.

Well, there is the problem of invalidating the warranties, but I've managed to get it under contro-

Oh, employees. Nevermind.

Nick told me he'd call....*sob*

Wes does like Castlevania... *swoon*

*clears throat*

I mean... shame on you all!

Do you mean in real life or in my imagination? I rolled a 20 one time and determined that it meant success with...well, nevermind.

It's hard to say. I woke up in that hotel, tied to the bedpost, missing a kidney. Someone broke my pink plastic pig mask and enema bag. And my wrist. Sore, I emerged to a fading Seattle sun and thought "Paizocon?" How can I ever return to NY now? Burnt forever in my memory: the glinted glare of Cosmo's glasses from over my shoulder, the fluffy edge of a hanky crushed against my nose, and the acrid chemical stank stamping up my nostrils to crush my consciousness despite my muffled squeals.

Hey Lou, those Taldor faction missions are pretty tough aren't they?

Hey Lou, those Taldor faction missions are pretty tough aren't they?

And that was a success!

Sadly, mine is an unrequited love....

Do interns count?

Do interns count?

Sure. They're employed by Paizo, and maybe even not at slave wages.

*shrug*

I only do it for the free merchandise.

Yes.

Or No.

That is all the answer you will get out of this kobold.

too many to type....

None; to bad for them really; I can make a little smolder into a real fire hehe but sadly; dont have a lower torso so hmm; hence the pose.

Pfftt! The real question is which ones haven't I slept with.......they are such slXXX.....ummm, I mean they are so easy!

Only the cute ones. Plus one I felt sorry for, who shall remain nameless. He knows who he is.

At any rate, we'll always have the men's room at the Shell station on I-90. Someday the congealed leavings of our voracious love-making shall grant fell intellect to a swarm of cockroaches, who will devour us all.

Uhh..Cosmo, Jason and Vic swore me to secrecy.....And my girlfriend wonders how I can afford so much from Paizo......

That this thread is still open is indicative to me of how awesome Paizo is.

That this thread is still open is indicative to me of how awesome Paizo is.

I'm very surprised it stayed open.

That this thread is still open is indicative to me of how awesome Paizo is.

They could just not have seen it yet.

Or they could be taking the approach of being flattered.

- Ashavan

There is a reason I always call him "The Great and Powerful Cos" with a starry look in my eyes.

There is a reason I always call him "The Great and Powerful Cos" with a starry look in my eyes.

Because of the wonderful things he does?

Because of the wonderful things he does?

I was thinking because he has a big, giant... WELL ANYWAYS! :P

Leaf Ericson wrote:

Because of the wonderful things he does?

I was thinking because he has a big, giant... WELL ANYWAYS! :P

...purple golem? Oh dear, that doesn't sound right.

DoveArrow wrote:

Leaf Ericson wrote:

Because of the wonderful things he does?

I was thinking because he has a big, giant... WELL ANYWAYS! :P

...purple golem? Oh dear, that doesn't sound right.

yeah, I think it would technically is described as a 'throbbing purple golem'.

SLEPT?

None. None at all.

There was never any sleeping involved.

Celestial Healer wrote:

That this thread is still open is indicative to me of how awesome Paizo is.

I'm very surprised it stayed open.

I think it goes without saying that if this hadn't arisen as a joke out of the "threads that would get banned" thread, it would have been closed quite quickly. Now I imagine they are more amused than anything else.

SLEPT?

None. None at all.

There was never any sleeping involved.

And Cosmo beat me to my reply, bad Cosmo. No more spankings for you.

And Cosmo beat me to my reply, bad Cosmo. No more spankings for you.

There are multiple reasons why some refer to him as the Freaky One-Eyed Monster.

Ummm........................... *Promptly leaves thread*

I've pretended to be a Paizo employee...worked surprisingly well!

Now I imagine they are more amused than anything else.

Or they are getting turned on. I'm not sure which disturbs me more....

'Slept with' sounds so cheap... I mean I had feelings for every single one of them.

Well technically Mike McArtor is no longer a Paizo employee, but I’ve been keeping him tied up in a gimp outfit in the basement … he curiously seems to have developed a taste for those thick red balls.

He often asks me to season them with lime and paprika.

He'll have to do until I can get my famous roofie coladas over to that strumpet Sean K.

Only one.

Ours is a private affair.

::forges a Paizo nametag and crosses fingers:: Please don't let this end like the prom...

This has got to be creeping out a number of people.

This has got to be creeping out a number of people.

They really shouldn't feel guilty for what they did under the influence of copious drugs and the mystery sandwich from that gas station's room temperature cooler.

Although I have to say the shadow puppets were a bit gauche. Role-playing I expected, but come on. It wasn't even erotic shadow puppetry, except for the disemboweling. Points for the whole Porter bit from Macbeth, though. Also for that thing with the tongue when talking about provoking and unprovoking. But did not really need the Bard for that trick.

Ok, so the shadow puppetry wasn't all bad.

This has got to be creeping out a number of people.

*raises hand*

Do interns count?

I heard on the news that "intern" is another word for prostitute.*

Does Daigle count? He's a contributor and gets paid by Paizo...

Your question should be Which Paizo employees have you NOT slept with?!

I have slept with ALL OF THEM, including the janitorial staff and that odd guy who comes in to deliver the water for the cooler.

Now if you want details...

Humps Joshua Frost's leg.

See you guys when my temp ban is over.

Humps Joshua Frost's leg.

See you guys when my temp ban is over.

You could get a temp ban, or you could get some free stuff. I don't know enough about Josh's proclivities.

Your question should be Which Paizo employees have you NOT slept with?!

I have slept with ALL OF THEM, including the janitorial staff and that odd guy who comes in to deliver the water for the cooler.

Now if you want details...

Really? The water cooler guy?! So that's what that sound was!

All of them; they've just repressed it.

P.S. Mona snores.

Really?! Wow, my self-esteem just hit rock bottom.

Fake phone numbers, "lost" e-mail replies, cellphone "interference" and disconnects... none of these guys will even try to get to first base with me!!! I tried switching teams, but the female employees just filed restraining orders or quickly cross to the other side of the street when they see me. What's wrong with me?!?!

{opens window, sticks head out, and shouts:} I'M AS HORNY AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!