OK, actual joke that Albert Einstein told a parot he got for his 75th birthday. (He thought is was depressed, so he told it jokes. You can't make stuff like this up, folks.)

Heisenburg and Schrödinger are driving down the road, and Heisenburg says, "I think you just ran over a cat." Schrödinger replies, "Is it dead?" And Heisenburg says, "I can't be certain."

OK, actual joke that Albert Einstein told a parot he got for his 75th birthday. (He thought is was depressed, so he told it jokes. You can't make stuff like this up, folks.)

Heisenburg and Schrödinger are driving down the road, and Heisenburg says, "I think you just ran over a cat." Schrödinger replies, "Is it dead?" And Heisenburg says, "I can't be certain."

OK, actual joke that Albert Einstein told a parot he got for his 75th birthday. (He thought is was depressed, so he told it jokes. You can't make stuff like this up, folks.)

Heisenburg and Schrödinger are driving down the road, and Heisenburg says, "I think you just ran over a cat." Schrödinger replies, "Is it dead?" And Heisenburg says, "I can't be certain."

That Einstein was a clever guy eh?

Dirk Gently wrote:

OK, actual joke that Albert Einstein told a parot he got for his 75th birthday. (He thought is was depressed, so he told it jokes. You can't make stuff like this up, folks.)

Heisenburg and Schrödinger are driving down the road, and Heisenburg says, "I think you just ran over a cat." Schrödinger replies, "Is it dead?" And Heisenburg says, "I can't be certain."

This is Einstein we're talking about. You know, the guy who once walked into a lecture hall with his underwear on outside his pants. Sort of like an elderly version of Quail Man.

Limerick Dungeon Limericks (from Kingdom of Loathing)

An insatiable maiden quite foxy
Proves a difficult test of your moxie
So you summon a Djinn
Well-versed in carnal sin
And seduce the young vixen by proxy.

While poking around in the dungeon,
You encounter a gnome with a truncheon.
Of this tiny jerk,
You (of course) make short work,
And head back into town for your luncheon.

A slime puddle of heavy viscosity
Proves a strong test of your virtuosity
But you cross with a hop
Clean it up with a mop
And walk off with a renewed pomposity.

A creature half-bull and half-man
Tries to gobble you up like a flan
But you rock that dumb minotaur
Old-school like Pat Benatar
And vamoose as fast as you can.

All at once you're approached by an Orc
Who comes after you waving a spork.
With a thud and a squish,
Well, you make that Orc wish
He was never dropped off by the stork.

You encounter the Goblin King's vassal,
And think "this won't be too much hassle,"
As you show him the floor,
Slam his head in a door,
And make off with his shiny new tassel.

You encounter a fierce-looking giant,
Who blocks your way, huge and defiant.
Though he roars "puny fool!"
You take his ass to school,
you leave him a good deal more pliant.

So you meet this gelatinous cube,
and it roars "I'll absorb you, you rube!"
You: "We'll see about that!"
as you hammer it flat,
and end up with a puddle of lube.

You encounter a chest full of meat
Unguarded, which is pretty neat
So you hastily croak
A bad "meaty chest" joke
Hork the meat, and discreetly beat feet.

I always fail the Haiku Dungeon "extreme tests". It sucks.

My GOD, Eliot! It was a photograph FROM LIFE!

My GOD, Eliot! It was a photograph FROM LIFE!

Move along.

I tend to like the guy more as a person (and as an artist; he makes some cool watercolor pictures) than as a musician, though I was kind of into the music during my troubled youth. I mean, he played D&D when he was younger; he's one of us. His whole shtick is really just Alice Cooper's stage show taken a little further on the inflammatory surrealist thing.

Look at that refigured Aladin Sane (a lad insane) logo he used for a fascist logo backdrop.

And the eyes being a different color.

There was one point where I believe he was just outright dressing like Ziggy Stardust in concert.

I used to notice a good few of his obvious homages to Bowie but that part of my brain was lost to an explosion in a glitter factory. I'm lucky to be alive.

Methinks he's also a Bowiephile beyond compare. He once pissed of Trent Reznor, who thought he was to produce Brians next album, only Brian asked Bowie to produce it. (something like that... hazy memory)

Look at that refigured Aladin Sane (a lad insane) logo he used for a fascist logo backdrop.

And the eyes being a different color.

There was one point where I believe he was just outright dressing like Ziggy Stardust in concert.

I used to notice a good few of his obvious homages to Bowie but that part of my brain was lost to an explosion in a glitter factory. I'm lucky to be alive.

I've read Manson's autobiography, 'The Long Hard Road Out Of Hell,' and Mr. Warner was indeed a Bowie / Cooper fan in his youth.

I really hoping doing some yoga and then my kata's will help me sleep or else I'm totally crashing my neighbors pool.

I really hoping doing some yoga and then my kata's will help me sleep or else I'm totally crashing my neighbors' pool.

I really hoping doing some yoga and then my kata's will help me sleep or else I'm totally crashing my neighbors pool.

BTW, does that stuff really help you sleep? I could use something like that myself.

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

I've read Manson's autobiography, 'The Long Hard Road Out Of Hell,' and Mr. Warner was indeed a Bowie / Cooper fan in his youth.

Thanks for the confirmation, Sir Shiny. Good book?

YeuxAndI wrote:

I really hoping doing some yoga and then my kata's will help me sleep or else I'm totally crashing my neighbors pool.

Pool... I have a lake and a river withing walking distance of my house. I need no pool. Ha ha!

The Jade wrote:

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

I've read Manson's autobiography, 'The Long Hard Road Out Of Hell,' and Mr. Warner was indeed a Bowie / Cooper fan in his youth.

Thanks for the confirmation, Sir Shiny. Good book?

f&@% yes. I've read it six times.

What the heck, my reply was oddly transported into the quote, and the middle of it too, not just a deletion of the [/quote} at the end. I typed it at the very bottom, and it ended up in the middle. I fixed it but, weird.

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

The Jade wrote:

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

I've read Manson's autobiography, 'The Long Hard Road Out Of Hell,' and Mr. Warner was indeed a Bowie / Cooper fan in his youth.

Thanks for the confirmation, Sir Shiny. Good book?

f&@% yes. I've read it six times.

Do you own it, or is it at the library? It you own it, can I borrow it?

YeuxAndI wrote:

I really hoping doing some yoga and then my kata's will help me sleep or else I'm totally crashing my neighbors pool.

Pool... I have a lake and a river withing walking distance of my house. I need no pool. Ha ha!

BTW, does that stuff really help you sleep? I could use something like that myself.

So, short answer, yes!

Yes, but as soon as you set foot in said lake, you'd dissolve.

After a few moments I realised you were probably commenting on some quality of the lake, rather than your friend...

Dirk Gently wrote:

YeuxAndI wrote:

I really hoping doing some yoga and then my kata's will help me sleep or else I'm totally crashing my neighbors pool.

Pool... I have a lake and a river withing walking distance of my house. I need no pool. Ha ha!

BTW, does that stuff really help you sleep? I could use something like that myself.

Usually a bit of reading, then meditation, the stretching does the trick. Last night I got distracted by my reading until about 4, then my roomates came home and were drunk and funny. And then it was 5 and I really was tired.

So, short answer, yes!

YeuxAndI wrote:

Dirk Gently wrote:

YeuxAndI wrote:

I really hoping doing some yoga and then my kata's will help me sleep or else I'm totally crashing my neighbors pool.

Pool... I have a lake and a river withing walking distance of my house. I need no pool. Ha ha!

BTW, does that stuff really help you sleep? I could use something like that myself.

Usually a bit of reading, then meditation, the stretching does the trick. Last night I got distracted by my reading until about 4, then my roomates came home and were drunk and funny. And then it was 5 and I really was tired.

So, short answer, yes!

But .... the pool?

Our neighbors are our friends and usually don't care if we crash their pool....and I felt like swimming.

It happens. Insomnia is fun. :P

Insomnia is fun. :P

YeuxAndI wrote:

Insomnia is fun. :P

Tell that to my brain at both 11 PM and 4 AM when the rest of me decides that sleep is for the birds. Especially 4 AM.

Right?

xD

I would prefer waking up and discovering that I had had millions of dollars put into an account, and some nice new lackey has had a Hareem installed for me...

waking up aand hearing the birds is for the birds

I would prefer waking up and discovering that I had had millions of dollars put into an account, and some nice new lackey has had a Hareem installed for me...

waking up aand hearing the birds is for the birds

And waking up to hear the birds... yeah, those birds would empty their Elmers into my ear. Now there's a fine how de doo.

Dirk Gently wrote:

YeuxAndI wrote:

Insomnia is fun. :P

Tell that to my brain at both 11 PM and 4 AM when the rest of me decides that sleep is for the birds. Especially 4 AM.

But listening to the birds sing and knowing that you've got to be at work in a couple hours in the best thing ever!

Right?

xD

Birds? I wake up to the psychotic squirrels that assault my window and scare away all the birds! Except that one that sings like a magaphone on crack. Oh, and the dogs of all my neighbors, barking at the squirrels. And the voices in my head, telling me that the squirrels are god and want me to shave my head and join the Peace Corp.

Squirrels/God. See my overusage of squirrels in the Civil Religious Discussion thread. Welcome to the fold, branch-hopper.

Birds? I wake up to the psychotic squirrels that assault my window and scare away all the birds! Except that one that sings like a magaphone on crack. Oh, and the dogs of all my neighbors, barking at the squirrels. And the voices in my head, telling me that the squirrels are god and want me to shave my head and join the Peace Corp.

Actually, I am a member of the Church of the Invisible Pink Unicorn. We cannot see it, so logic tells us it must be invisible, and we must have faith to know it to be pink.

My wife bought a door mat. On the back of it was a warning label --

-------------------------------------------------------------

Important things you should know about your new doormat

Warning: Do not use mat as a projectile. Sudden acceleration to dangerous speeds may cause injury. When using mat, follow directions: Put your right foot in, put your right foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about. This mat is not designed to sustain gross weight exceeding 12,000 lbs. If mat begins to smoke, immediately seek shelter and cover head. Caution: if coffee spills on mat, assume that it is very hot. This mat is not intended to be used as a placemat. Small food particles trapped in fibers may attract rodents and other vermin. Do not glue mat to porous surfaces, such as pregnant women, pets, and heavy machinery. When not in use, mat should be kept out of reach of children diagnosed with CFED (Compulsive Fiber Eating Disorder). Do not taunt mat. Failure to comply relieves the makers of this doormat, Simply Precious Home Décor, and its parent company, High Cotton, Inc., of any and all liability.

High Cotton Inc.
www.highcotton.com

--------------------------------------------------------------

The link has some fun stuff that they have. We just really thought that the warning was too funny not to share...

Try this link instead www.highcotton.com

EDIT: GLITCH! Both our hyperlinks take us to a Paizo. That's just so Bill Gates of them.

EDIT: Thanks to the savvy of Mr. R. Q. Fatespinner... the links works now. It works.

::the crowd cheers thunderously::

Try this link instead www.highcotton.com

EDIT: GLITCH! Both our hyperlinks take us to a Paizo. That's just so Bill Gates of them.

The Jade wrote:

Try this link instead www.highcotton.com

EDIT: GLITCH! Both our hyperlinks take us to a Paizo. That's just so Bill Gates of them.

You mean I might have to TYPE it in? Please no!!! The madness...

I've had this issue before. You need to make sure that you actually include the "http://" at the beginning of the URL, otherwise this happens on occassion.

I've had this issue before. You need to make sure that you actually include the "http://" at the beginning of the URL, otherwise this happens on occassion.

That worked. I made the change and thanked you above but I shall NOT thank you twice! Thanks, though... y'know...

So I'm sitting in front of the computer reading something that some witty Paizonian posted when I hear a crash-bang-skitter. Knowing that our back door screen is not quite there and knowing that the cats like to be destructive at night, I hop up to investigate the latest scene of carnage.

As I turn into the kitchen, lit only by the single bulb above the stove, I see a dark hump backed shape skitter-bang clumsily through the door and outside.

I swear to Pelor, I'm gonna get those undead raccoons one of these days.

I swear to Pelor, I'm gonna get those undead raccoons one of these days.

I drove off to work reeeeeeeeel early one morning. I saw a momma raccoon and a slew of babbys running across the road in their comical loping way. I likes me some dem raccoons now.

I usually love racoons, but they've gotten into the chicken coop one too many times lately, I'm getting ready to change my opinion. Of course, I could blame it on the foxes. I'd like to set my son up in the rafters of the barn with the 410, but with our luck, it'll be the neighbor's dog in there.

Damn, it's raining here in Dallas. I dun grew gills like Kevin Costner.

I scratched a lens in my sunglasses the other day. Luckily, they only cost a dollar and I have 2 other pair just like them.

Damn, it's raining here in Dallas. I dun grew gills like Kevin Costner.

There's trout fishin' on Main Street!

I just decided to start posting here today and I have been employed here since April. :)

I just decided to start posting here today and I have been employed here since April. :)

FH

The other day I had to put eight dead animals in a carrier bag and bin/get rid of them. A robin red breast, a blue tit, two sparrows, and four mice (although one may have been a vole or shrew because it had a long nose). Sometimes its hard being a multiple cat owner, our lawn is like a warzone sometimes.

Ours are pretty could about not killing stuff. At least, where we can see them...