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Paizo / Messageboards / Paizo Community / Off-Topic Discussions / Archives / I heard that when Chuck Norris does push-ups...     Recent Posts
101 to 148 of 148 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | next > last >>
I heard that when Chuck Norris does push-ups...
Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

Chuck Norris let the dogs out. What you gonna do about it.

Ultradan,

WilSave_116

When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the machines get stronger.

Ultradan,

WilSave_116

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

Chuck Norris crossed the road, no one has ever dared to question his motives.

Ultradan,

WilSave_116

Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris!

Ultradan,

WilSave_116

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

The Manhattan Project was not meant to create nuclear weapons. It was meant to re-create the power of a Chuck Norris round-house kick. It failed.

Ultradan,

WilSave_116

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, because hunting entails the posibility of failure, Chuck Norris goes killing.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

Lightning never strikes twice in the same place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.

Ultradan,

WilSave_116

Chuck Norris's mom can beat up your dad.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

Ultradan wrote:
Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, because hunting entails the posibility of failure, Chuck Norris goes killing.

Damnit, ninja'd.

Ultradan,

WilSave_116

Haa-yaa!! Ultradan is Chuck Norris in disguise...

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

Chuck Norris is so scary that Domino's delivers his pizza 30 minutes BEFORE he makes the call.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

Chuck Norris is the reason why there is no life on Mars.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

Chuck Norris fears death, the death he may cause if he ever truly gets mad.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

When you're Chuck Norris anything+anything equals one... one roundhouse kick to the face.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around does it still make a sound? Yes, and Chuck Norris can hear it, Chuck Norris hears everything.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

Bo knows Chuck Norris. Bo fears Chuck Norris.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

To know Chuck Norris is to know fear.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

Chuck Norris has 10 kids, by 200 different women.

Andoran Dragnmoon (Pathfinder Chronicles Charter Superscriber; GameMastery Superscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber),

Dervish avatar

December 21, 2012 is the date that Chuck Norris's first roundhouse kick finally traverses space and time to come back and destroy all life on earth except Chuck Norris. it is true the Mayans predicted it!

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

Last year a meteor was hurtling towards the earth, when it found out Chuck Norris lived here it blew itself up.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

The rain is just the angels crying, because Chuck Norris kicked their a**es again.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

When Chuck Norris plays the lottery he always wins, Chuck Norris cannot lose.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

Chuck Norris. Thats all you really need to know.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

Chuck Norris knows why the Mona Lisa smiles.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

The Alamo remembers Chuck Norris.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

Chuck Norris once played a game of D&D, he won by rolling natural 20s every time. Even with his d4.

Andoran Dragnmoon (Pathfinder Chronicles Charter Superscriber; GameMastery Superscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber),

Dervish avatar

At the Battle of the Bulge, Chuck Norris defeated the Nazis with his Bulge.

Relic,

Black avatar

When Chuck Norris plays Pathfinder he doesn't need to prepare his spells. His spells prepare themselves out of fear.

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

When Chuck Norris rolls up a new PC he gains 30 levels just by writing his name on the sheet.

pres man,

TSR 95053-17 avatar

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can flip the light switch and be under the covers before it turns dark.

Abraham spalding,

A 16-Red-Death avatar

pres man wrote:
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can flip the light switch and be under the covers before it turns dark.

That's just because the dark won't enter the room without Chuck Norris's Permission.

Qadira Lord Snow (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Carlisle Pathfinder PZO 111 A avatar

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris didn’t cry when Bambys mother died.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have bags in his Windows Vista.

Jesus may have walked on water, but Chuck Norris swam in the earth.

Here is a little story about Chuck Norris:
one day a man came to Chuck and told him, "Chuck Norris, I know of a thing that you cannot accomplish."
Chuck smiled at him. "What is it, son?"
"Well", says the fool, "I bet you cant create a rock so immense you yourself could not lift it".
Grinning, Chuck Norris threatened the stone into creation, and indeed he could not lift it.
"Good", said the man, "now try to lift it."
With no effort at all, chuck did.
Do you know how he did it?

Spoiler:
easily.

Count Buggula,

Count avatar

Angels sang out in an immaculate chorus,
Down from the heavens decended Chuck Norris
Who delivered a kick which could shatter bones
Into the crotch of Indiana Jones

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

What was really said on the U.S.S. Enterprise "Damnit Jim, I'm a Doctor, not Chuck Norris!"

Ultradan,

WilSave_116

Chuck Norris was hired to chop down the Sahara Jungle...

... He did it on a Saturday.

Ultradan

Valegrim,

39 Efreeti avatar

According to Newtonian Physics; its true; just the Earth pushes back :)

Taldor Louis Agresta (Contributor),

Lizardguy avatar

...Jack Palance loses his erection.

Cheliax David Fryer,

S 01 Shoanti Versus Ogre HI avatar

Chuck Norris knows where Carmon Sandeigo is

Chuck_Norris,

Thiefpic avatar

I'm Chuck Norris, and I do not approve of this thread. Boot to the head.

The Shadow,

Manshoon avatar

CourtFool wrote:
Xabulba wrote:
Chuck Norris thinks homosexuality is a choice...

...but who wouldn't want some lovin' from him?

A friend once said "Chuck Norris is gay, he just ran out of women."

CourtFool,

28 Largefamily Col 3 avatar

Chuck_Norris wrote:
I'm Chuck Norris, and I do not approve of this thread.

Humps Chuck_Norris' leg.

Eekster Buhnay,

14 -Zokia-the-Prostitute avatar

CourtFool wrote:
Humps Chuck_Norris' leg.

Nope CourtFool... Chuck Norris' leg humps you!

Qadira Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber),

Overlay-iconic avatar

Eekster Buhnay wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
Humps Chuck_Norris' leg.

Nope CourtFool... Chuck Norris' leg humps you!

Thats the best one I've seen so far! :D

Xabulba,

Zon Kuthon Final avatar

The only natural substance harder than a diamond is Chuck Norris' crotch.

CourtFool,

28 Largefamily Col 3 avatar

Eekster Buhnay wrote:
Nope CourtFool... Chuck Norris' leg humps you!

I'm cool with that.

101 to 148 of 148 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | next > last >>
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