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Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Wed, Jul 1, 2009, 06:16 PM

Chuck Norris once got into a knife fight. The knife lost.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Wed, Jul 1, 2009, 06:17 PM

Chuck Norris is so fast that he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Wed, Jul 1, 2009, 06:18 PM

Young ninjas want to be like Chuck Norris when they grow up. But instead they just grow up to be killed by Chuck Norris.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Wed, Jul 1, 2009, 06:19 PM

If in some bizzare alternate reality Chuck Norris fought Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris would win, period.


David Fryer, Wed, Jul 1, 2009, 06:21 PM

One time, Chuck Norris tried wearing glasses, but all he could see was the back of his head.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Wed, Jul 1, 2009, 06:21 PM

There are stars at night because the moon leaves a night light on 'cause it's afraid of Chuck Norris.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Wed, Jul 1, 2009, 06:22 PM

Chuck Norris once went in to a Burger King and ordered a Big Mac, and got it.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Wed, Jul 1, 2009, 06:26 PM

The only thing to fear is Chuck Norris.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Wed, Jul 1, 2009, 06:28 PM

Chuck Norris once threw a kick so hard it ripped a hole in time and space, went back in time and accidently killed Amilia Eirheart.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Wed, Jul 1, 2009, 06:29 PM

The Bermuda Triangle isn't cursed, Chuck Norris just doesn't like when planes fly over his bath tub.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Wed, Jul 1, 2009, 06:39 PM

David Fryer wrote: One time, Chuck Norris tried wearing glasses, but all he could see was the back of his head. Now see I heard the glasses died from the fear his stare caused. ;)


The Jade (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber), Wed, Jul 1, 2009, 06:43 PM

Those are really good, Moorluck. I especially like the bathtub one.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Wed, Jul 1, 2009, 07:06 PM

The Jade wrote: Those are really good, Moorluck. I especially like the bathtub one. I have posters hanging up in my living room with like 50 of those on 'em.


Galdor the Great, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 04:49 AM

Chuck Norris has never blamed Sebastien for anything.


feytharn, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 05:00 AM

Chuck Norris did this


CourtFool, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 11:38 AM

Humps Chuck Norris' leg.


pres man, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 12:00 PM

Down from the heavens decended Chuck Norris


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:39 PM

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:40 PM

Chuck Norris did in fact build Rome in a day.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:41 PM

Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:42 PM

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, He decides what time it is.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:43 PM

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:43 PM

Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun. And won.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:44 PM

Chuck Norris does not own an oven, a stove, or a microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:45 PM

When Chuck Norris was born only the doctor cried.... NEVER slap Chuck Norris.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:46 PM

There is no such thing as Global Warming, Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:47 PM

Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time can cause blindness, and foot-sized bruises on the face.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:48 PM

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could Chuck Norris? ALL OF IT!!


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:49 PM

When Chuck Norris wants coffee he grinds the beans with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:50 PM

Chuck Norris doesn't style his hair, it lies still out of terror.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:51 PM

Chuck Norris can smell fear. He can also taste lies.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:51 PM

If at first you don't succeed, then you're not Chuck Norris.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:52 PM

Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Chuck Norrisaurus.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:53 PM

Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the Richter scale.


Xabulba, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:54 PM

Chuck Norris can crush facts with his bare opinions. Chuck Norris doesn’t have to leap to conclusions. He just sits there and conclusions leap to him. Chuck Norris thinks homosexuality is a choice, but his oiled, bare chest isn’t so sure.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:55 PM

The chemical formula for the cyanide ion is CN-, these are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is NOT a coincidence.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 02:58 PM

My first master was Bob Montgomery, a former stunt double for Chuck Norris. I love this stuff ;)


CourtFool, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 06:24 PM

Xabulba wrote: Chuck Norris thinks homosexuality is a choice... ...but who wouldn't want some lovin' from him?


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 06:51 PM

Chuck Norris can kick through all six degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 06:52 PM

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, DON'T ask him for his "three hole punch".


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 06:53 PM

Chuck Norris can in fact "raise the roof", and he can do it with one hand!


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 06:54 PM

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't stupid enough to attack him.


Ultradan, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 06:54 PM

Chuck Norris doesn't teabag women... He potato-sacks them!!


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 06:54 PM

Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but he's a verb as well.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 06:55 PM

Chuck Norris can beat the odds. With his fist.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 06:56 PM

Chuck Norris knows everything... except the definition of mercy.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 06:57 PM

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper. Chuck Norris beats all three at the same time.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 06:58 PM

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.


Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 06:59 PM

There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.


Ultradan, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 06:59 PM

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles" contest... Chuck Norris won by 5.