Lady Solnes is also looking for a personal trainer, anyone interested in helping her work up a sweat?

I am looking to gettting into shape, and I need a workout partner. and I thought you were supposed to make her work up a sweat, Lord President. *rimshot

*runs for cover back on sofa talking to doctor Jung

Dr. C. G. Jung wrote:

How do you feel about your gnomic transformation? Vat does blue mean to you? Vat do gnomes mean to you?

The transformation, I don't know, just weird. Blue sky, down, water, up, down, stop sign, turn around, dirka, dirka, dirka. Gnomes short, meant to be thrown, but not as well as halflings though.

You're loony.

Lord Secretary War-Bucks wrote:

Dr. C. G. Jung wrote:

How do you feel about your gnomic transformation? Vat does blue mean to you? Vat do gnomes mean to you?

The transformation, I don't know, just weird. Blue sky, down, water, up, down, stop sign, turn around, dirka, dirka, dirka. Gnomes short, meant to be thrown, but not as well as halflings though.

You're loony.

Goblins can be thrown as well

New sport Lord President Moorluck. Small creature tossing, different races=different leagues, weight divisions, oh, I can see the income now.

Psst! Warbucks!

AHHHH, smnrf!!!!!!!!!! Grabs heavy mace and starts swinging

Psst! Warbucks!

** spoiler omitted **

Cruel.

Goblins don't like small-headed tall human women who smell bad and wear ugly colors.

*lies down*

First there was this little Korean guy, and out of nowhere he turned into a little blue female gnome, and I was completely thrown for a loop. I mean come on, this isnt a game.

Smurfalicious.

Goblins don't like small-headed tall human women who smell bad and wear ugly colors.

I didn't know goblins liked anything.

Lord Secretary War-Bucks wrote:

*lies down*

First there was this little Korean guy, and out of nowhere he turned into a little blue female gnome, and I was completely thrown for a loop. I mean come on, this isnt a game.

Sm****licious.

Ahh, not more of them, I like green, as in money, not blue as in cheese and by the way I can not stand the stuff, but that is my opinion

must keep thread going

and going

You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

who was that masked titan, and what were they talking about

*edit*
Lights a candle

Lets get a party started here

<Ding!>
Vell, I am terrible sorry, Var-Bucks, but your time is kaput! Our next appointment is already scheduled, and I must go to my next one, which is qvite pressing.

Lord Prezident, though I am a physician, all of my practice is given over to analysis now, so I do not believe I vould be suitable for your concierge pozition. I hope to hear from your Zurgeon General soon, as I vould love to be his Assistant, Undersecretary of the Collective Unconscious. I am zertain that it vould be qvuite important, given your cabinet and the frequency of outziders in zis realm.

Good day!
<clicks heels, bows, and turns>

Gark the Goblin wrote:

Goblins don't like small-headed tall human women who smell bad and wear ugly colors.

I didn't know goblins liked anything.

Of course we do. We like killing horses. And killing dogs. And lighting fires. And eating. And big-headed short women wearing brown and smelling good. And babies. And eating. And killing. And torturing. And raiding. And eating.

For my "discipline," I'd like a goblin woman, not an ugly human.
And no punting the goblins! We have poodles and "serfs" for that!

must keep thread going

We should mention Seoni more.

It could be the new "ayup."

Ayup. Seoni.

I TPKed my whole group again.

Harsh.

I didn't mean to. It's really not my fault that they decided to get unstuck from a tar pit by throwing alchemist's fire at it.

HAHAHAHA!

I even asked them if they were sure they wanted to do it. They said of course, because the heat will cause the tar to melt. It's the shortest campaign I have ever played in. It lasted 3.5 sessions.

Wow! Alchemist's fire and a tar pit. That's an awesome combination.

I see it becomeing all the rage among DMs. Imagine a trap that drops it's victims into a tar filled pit and then hits them with alchemist fire.

I see it becomeing all the rage among DMs. Imagine a trap that drops it's victims into a tar filled pit and then hits them with alchemist fire.

But getting the party to decide by themselves to put alchemist's fire in the pit makes it so much more evil.

Edit: I liked your reenvisioning of the Avenger.

I agree that having them throw it in themselves was a nice touch. The problem was that this was supposed to be the first session for playtesting the avenger class.

I TPKed my whole group again.

As opposed to TPKing half your group?

Lord President Moorluck wrote:

Lady Solnes is also looking for a personal trainer, anyone interested in helping her work up a sweat?

I am looking to gettting into shape, and I need a workout partner. and I thought you were supposed to make her work up a sweat, Lord President. *rimshot

*runs for cover back on sofa talking to doctor Jung

*using Christoper Walken voice*

Lord Secretary of Kicking A**, shoot....him.

But just in the foot. I kinda like the guy.

David Fryer wrote:

I TPKed my whole group again.

As opposed to TPKing half your group?

I've TPKed one person. (Total Person Killoff)

Agg! Two whole hours gone without a post!

Moonday

Toilday

Wealday

Agg! Two whole hours gone without a post!

Would post more but the kids keep thinking I should spend time with them... go figure.

Oathday

Gark the Goblin wrote:

Agg! Two whole hours gone without a post!

Would post more but the kids keep thinking I should spend time with them... go figure.

Nah... go lock them in the basement with some snack bars and sodas. They'll be fine. And they won't bother you.

Gark the Goblin wrote:

Agg! Two whole hours gone without a post!

Would post more but the kids keep thinking I should spend time with them... go figure.

Goblins do this with their kids:

When birth is given, put the child in a cage, then let out about 3 times a day to breastfeed.
Around 6 months old, when the kid is able to walk, stop breastfeeding and only let out once a day to walk on a leash. Feed twice a day.
About 18 months old, when the kid is able to talk, walk them around the lair with their leash on, and let the other kids play with it. Make sure you clean up the crap.
At 2 years, the kid is adolescent and can be let out indefinitely. If they try to steal food, put the leash back on and starve them for a while.
When the kid has reached 3 years old or has killed a creature bigger than it, it is adult.

Fireday.

Starday

Sunday

Ayup. Seoni.

Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

C-yo-knee.

EE NO EES

Si, oh knee!

Lord President Moorluck wrote:

yoda8myhead wrote:

This thread is way too long!

That sir is sedition!! By the power of my office I swear this thread will continue until I damn well say it ends!!! Lord Secretary of Kicking A**! turn this piece of goblin goo over to Lynora for reconditioning.

<Conks yoda8myhead on the, er, head>

Lynora, do whatever...pleases you...with this cretin!

*cracks whip*