Whimsy Chris wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

I've got this memo regarding cutting down on the bureaucracy, but it still has to be reviewed by the Division Head, the Department Head, and the Section Head.

There has been a change in personnel in Division. Check with Human Resources before distribution.

I am not sure you are at liberty to disclouse that information. You better run it by legal first.

Legal is too busy evaluating whether Human Resources can change all the employees bank accounts to numbered Swiss bank accounts.

Sebastian wrote:

Can I have my stapler back?

I don't have your stapler. This is one I borrowed from Frank.

Can I take a look at it? It looks a lot like my stapler...

Aberzombie wrote:

No, I think Sandra in accounting made a few more minor changes. So this would be the first version of version 7.1

I asked Sandra, and she said that she gave you the final numbers to review.

I haven't seen them yet. Let me check with my Executive Assistant's Secretary's Intern.

Legal is too busy evaluating whether Human Resources can change all the employees bank acc*@*s to numbered Swiss bank accounts.

Who is going to sign for the new shredders that came in then?

I'm going to be busy all week. I'm running a workshop with the call center employees. Half go in the morning, and half in the afternoon. It's on reducing our customers' hold time.

Can I take a look at it? It looks a lot like my stapler...

I'm telling you, it isn't. I got this one from Francis across the hall.

Whimsy Chris wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

I've got this memo regarding cutting down on the bureaucracy, but it still has to be reviewed by the Division Head, the Department Head, and the Section Head.

There has been a change in personnel in Division. Check with Human Resources before distribution.

I am not sure you are at liberty to disclouse that information. You better run it by legal first.

I'll freeze my memo. Isn't there a form for that?

I'm telling you, it isn't. I got this one from Francis across the hall.

But, if I could just see it for a minute...

I'm going to be busy all week. I'm running a workshop with the call center employees. Half go in the morning, and half in the afternoon. It's on reducing our customers' hold time.

Can we schedule that for a weekend? Remember, it is mandatory and there is no overtime.

CourtFool wrote:

Whimsy Chris wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

I've got this memo regarding cutting down on the bureaucracy, but it still has to be reviewed by the Division Head, the Department Head, and the Section Head.

There has been a change in personnel in Division. Check with Human Resources before distribution.

I am not sure you are at liberty to disclouse that information. You better run it by legal first.

I'll freeze my memo. Isn't there a form for that?

I'm not sure. I'll send out a memo and find out.

I'm going to be busy all week. I'm running a workshop with the call center employees. Half go in the morning, and half in the afternoon. It's on reducing our customers' hold time.

Good. I know the transition will be difficult. Management just released the new customer service plan. You will no longer talk to a real person, instead there will be a recording that says "In order to serve you better, we have suspended our customer service department."

Guys, remember, IT lost a server last week and until it is replaced, we have to cut down on e-mails.

Celestial Healer wrote:

I'm going to be busy all week. I'm running a workshop with the call center employees. Half go in the morning, and half in the afternoon. It's on reducing our customers' hold time.

Can we schedule that for a weekend? Remember, it is mandatory and there is no overtime.

Maybe we could do both. They could come on the weekends, and then work three days during the week, going to workshops either in the morning or the afternoon.

We have to do this so they know how important it is to make sure those incoming calls get turned over quickly.

But, if I could just see it for a minute...

I'd rather not. If you were to damage it, then Frannie on the 3rd Floor would be mad when I brought it back to her.

Don't forget Ron Jeremy's "good touch, bad touch" seminar on Thursday.

The printer is not working again.

Guys, remember, IT lost a server last week and until it is replaced, we have to cut down on e-mails.

That's true. The new paperless initiative report will use too much bandwidth. I'll print it out and distribute it instead.

Guys, remember, IT lost a server last week and until it is replaced, we have to cut down on e-mails.

We should make sure to e-mail everyone about that.

Celestial Healer wrote:

I'm going to be busy all week. I'm running a workshop with the call center employees. Half go in the morning, and half in the afternoon. It's on reducing our customers' hold time.

Good. I know the transition will be difficult. Management just released the new customer service plan. You will no longer talk to areal person, instead there will be a recording that says "In order to serve you better, we have suspended our customer service department."

That recording is still in the editing stages. The committee for Linguistic Marketing didn't feel the message was impactful enough.

Isn't it time to demo the new product?

Celestial Healer wrote:

I'm going to be busy all week. I'm running a workshop with the call center employees. Half go in the morning, and half in the afternoon. It's on reducing our customers' hold time.

Good. I know the transition will be difficult. Management just released the new customer service plan. You will no longer talk to areal person, instead there will be a recording that says "In order to serve you better, we have suspended our customer service department."

That's good. We can cut down on the number of customer complaints by not having anyone to take them.

{Constantly annoyed that her boss walks over and gives verbal responses to her emails. How am I supposed to Cover-My-Ass from corporate dumbassairy without an e-paper trail?! I'm going to have to wire up my cubicle like the Nixon Oval Office. Grrrr!}

By the way, did everyone get a revised copy of Revising your Resume?

Isn't it time to demo the new product?

Right now all we have is a blueprint. We should meet all day tomorrow to set a plan for how we are going to get a prototype ready by Friday.

David Fryer wrote:

Isn't it time to demo the new product?

Right now all we have is a blueprint. We should meet all day tomorrow to set a plan for how we are going to get a prototype ready by Friday.

Remember, Friday is a holiday.

Celestial Healer wrote:

David Fryer wrote:

Isn't it time to demo the new product?

Right now all we have is a blueprint. We should meet all day tomorrow to set a plan for how we are going to get a prototype ready by Friday.

Remember, Friday is a holiday.

We need to cover that in Thursday morning's meeting.

Celestial Healer wrote:

I'm going to be busy all week. I'm running a workshop with the call center employees. Half go in the morning, and half in the afternoon. It's on reducing our customers' hold time.

Can we schedule that for a weekend? Remember, it is mandatory and there is no overtime.

I'm already at the "Importance of Taking Breaks" workshop on the weekend. Maybe someone could put me on speaker phone re. the call center workshop and I could do both. Productivity!

The efficiency team will be in next week so everyone needs to write up their daily tasks so we can see the areas that need improvement.

Did you get the latest memo? There was a misprint in the technical manual. Instead of the number for tech support, they put the number of an adult entertainment phone service.

Aberzombie wrote:

Celestial Healer wrote:

David Fryer wrote:

Isn't it time to demo the new product?

Right now all we have is a blueprint. We should meet all day tomorrow to set a plan for how we are going to get a prototype ready by Friday.

Remember, Friday is a holiday.

We need to cover that in Thursday morning's meeting.

Thursday morning's meeting was cancelled. Now that's it's getting colder, the Fire Marshall wants to practice fire drills.

Also, the merger is not final, so we can not discuss it with anyone. That was also in the weekly e-mail.

By the way, did everyone get a revised copy of Revising your Resume?

I'm printing my revised copy now.

I just forgot. I'm not going to make any of these meetings, because I have to fly down to Tampa to meet with a new vendor that might have a way for us to save $240 a year on printing costs. I have to make sure they booked my first-class ticket, my hotel, and my rental car.

Celestial Healer wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

Celestial Healer wrote:

David Fryer wrote:

Isn't it time to demo the new product?

Right now all we have is a blueprint. We should meet all day tomorrow to set a plan for how we are going to get a prototype ready by Friday.

Remember, Friday is a holiday.

We need to cover that in Thursday morning's meeting.

Thursday morning's meeting was cancelled. Now that's it's getting colder, the Fire Marshall wants to practice fire drills.

They need volunteers to set up coffee and hot chocolate in the parking lot.

Can someone send me the stapler requisition form? I'm running out of paperclips.

Also, if anyone sees my stapler, please let me know. It's pink and has some heart stickers on the side. I checked with Frank, Francis, and Frannie and none of them remember lending their staplers out (and none of them are pink).

Sebastian wrote:

Can I take a look at it? It looks a lot like my stapler...

I'm telling you, it isn't. I got this one from Francis across the hall.

I think that's mine. Francis borrowed mine.

Also, the merger is not final, so we can not discuss it with anyone. That was also in the weekly e-mail.

Not even our stock broker?

I just forgot. I'm not going to make any of these meetings, because I have to fly down to Tampa to meet with a new vendor that might have a way for us to save $240 a year on printing costs. I have to make sure they booked my first-class ticket, my hotel, and my rental car.

Transportation would like you to swing by India and Taiwan wile you are out and check on the cost saving measures there.

Not even our stock broker?

Did you not complete the Moral and Ethics CBT?

Also, please read the memo I sent out about next week's business ethics training. It has been postponed because the consultant we hired to conduct the training has been incarcerated for insider trading and embezzlement. We are going to work with his parole officer to get that rescheduled as soon as possible.

CourtFool wrote:

Also, the merger is not final, so we can not discuss it with anyone. That was also in the weekly e-mail.

Not even our stock broker?

That's right, you are not to say the word merger to anyone. Just so we are clear do not say merger when discussing the merger.

Transportation would like you to swing by India and Taiwan wile you are out and check on the cost saving measures there.

Did they finalize the changing of India to New America?

Sebastian wrote:

Not even our stock broker?

Did you not complete the Moral and Ethics CBT?

I was at a Congressional hearing that day.

I'm already at the "Importance of Taking Breaks" workshop on the weekend.

Wait, my boss asked me to ask you to reschedule it because the workshop conflicts with his smoke breaks.

{steals another stapler when no one looks}

David Fryer wrote:

Transportation would like you to swing by India and Taiwan wile you are out and check on the cost saving measures there.

Did they finalize the changing of India to New America?

Yes, you will be meeting with the executives in New New York.

I was at a Congressional hearing that day.

Oh! That is right. I never got the receipt for your lunch with the congressman.

Whimsy Chris wrote:

I'm already at the "Importance of Taking Breaks" workshop on the weekend.

Wait, my boss asked me to ask you to reschedule it because the workshop conflicts with his smoke breaks.

Also he would like everyone to attend the importance of healthy living seminar after your smoke breaks. Doughnuts and danishes will be provided.

FYI, we need 10 more players for the softball team. We're playing OfficeTech Incorporated Insurance Financial next week and could use some good players. I think Diversion Division requires 10 weeks of work related recreation each year, so it may be mandatory for some of you.

David Fryer wrote:

I was at a Congressional hearing that day.

Oh! That is right. I never got the receipt for your lunch with the congressman.

Our friends on K Street payed the tab.

Also, if anyone sees my stapler, please let me know. It's pink and has some heart stickers on the side. I checked with Frank, Francis, and Frannie and none of them remember lending their staplers out (and none of them are pink).

Sorry, I haven't seen it.

{wipes her fingerprints off newly purloined stapler, adds it to growing collection in bottom drawer of boss' file cabinent; also shelves new copy of Dr. Phil's "Don't Be a Hoarder" book next to boss' Ayn Rand collection.}

Hey! When did posting get changed so you could scroll up in the thread while typing? Neat.

Didn't you get the email about the memo about it?