101 Magic Items for Peasants, Serfs and angry Village mobs

Remember, if we can get a full 101 items, we will submit it to KOBOLD QUARTERLY. They like publishing unpaid stuff.

1. Pitchfork of Bailiff Impalement
2. Everfull bucket of Dung
3. Burning Torch of Mob leadership

4.Little Red Book of Cunning Farmgolem Repair by Sage Mutton

5. Everfull Sod Cart

6. Rorik's Relentless Rucksack of Rotten Radishes.

7. Decanter of endless fermenting
8. Bedpan of devouring
9. Figurine of wondrous power (jasper cow)
10. Plow of the titans
11. Brush of continuous scrubbing
12. Broom of constant sweeping
13. Paddle of incessant spanking (for the kids!)

14. Never Dry Rain Barrel
15. The Hardy Hoe - I hate it when my hoe breaks before I'm done with it. ;)
16. Farmer Joe's Portable Haystack (also available for his daughter's use)
17. Corny's Everlasting Seed Pouch
18. Amulet of Crow Repellant

(also available for his daughter's use)

19. Stayfast horseshoes
20. Jon's Everfull Wattle-dauber
21. Talisman of Vermin Repelling

22. Everburning corncob pipe
23. Greater Symbol of Tax-collector Warding

24. Pipeweed of Revolutionary Incitement (double effectiveness if used in conjunction with the Winds of Change spell)
25. Glammered Plowshare (it's really a sword)
26. +2 Armored Thongs for the Throngs.

26. hammer +5 prolie avenger (also comes in sickle)

28. A copy of "Teaching the Common Man to Count is as Easy as 1,5,3".

29. Incense of Crop Dusting. (double intendre)

30. Ever Warm Spoon ... no more cold gruel!
31. Bedsheets of Insect Repelling ... never again will peasants complain about bedbugs

32. Copy of Village Idiot's Guide for Dummies

33. Ever-full Bread Oven. After all, lack of bread accounts for 86% of all peasant riots.

34. Mordekain's Lubrication. Err...never mind...

35) Sir Bedevere's Scales of Witch Detection. Complete with duck* for calibration purposes.

36. Magic beans :P (use with caution)

37. Ointment of Bunion Vanishing

38. Effigy of Burning

39. Lye's Everlasting Bar of Soap.

40. Vestments of Poverty

41. Rod of Squalor

42. Leomund's sh*thouse shanty

Horn of Rioting (construct peasants with pitchforks)

44. ring of sustanence (Seriously, this would be one hot item.)

45. Straw Hat of Shading
46. +1 Flaming Burst Pitchfork

47. Axe of Tireless Log Splitting
48. Never-rusting stewpot
49. Auto-heating skillet
50. Figuring of Herd Watchfulness - acts like a shepherd
51. Evergrowing Thatch

52. Ever-Full Cup of Herbal Tea

53. chalice of evaporated water
54. quill of penetration
55. silver piece of lycanthropy banishment
56. robes of the beige oblivion
57. ale of thirst-quenching
58. bangle of Gygax

We're going so fast, we could probably make this a constant feature, perhaps branching out into new magic item groups. This one's doing great so far.
61. Clothes of Non-notability
62. Forget-Me-Not Bouquet of Memory Restoration
63. Bed of Good Rest

64. Beyond Means Purse ... cursed item, will bring the wealthiest person to the level of a peasant

65. gloves of fire warding

66. Beggar's Cup ... would grant significant CH bonus only when begging

67. Vapor of calming angry mobs.

68. Potato of wart removal.

69. Stone soup. Place the stone in a cauldron of soup, and the soup becomes sufficient to serve 100 people. At sunset, the remaining soup disappears.

70. Horseshoe of binding. This horseshoe becomes immobile and holds the horse in place if any but the owner tries to ride it. A command word, written on the bottom of the shoe, releases the horse.

71. Snake oil. This oil relieves the symptoms of a disease or toxin until the next sunrise or sunset. It does nothing to cure the disease.

72. Shady hat. The owner of a shady hat recieves a +5 on survival checks to reduce the exhaustion caused by excessive heat.

73. Watchknot. A simple knot in a cord, this device is used to summon help in times of trouble. As the knot is untied, the owner hears an audible prompt, similar to an alarm spell. He or she will then know that the bearer needs help.

74. Dry stone. This looks like any other millstone,except it continually turns by itself, allowing a mill to operate without wind or water.

75. Palisade beam. A log for use in a palisade, this wondrous item enchants the wall to add 5 to its hardness, and give it 5 points of fire resistance.

76. Scythe ribbon. This simple item can be tied around the handle of any sharp farm implement. If the wielder would cut herself, the ribbon is cut instead, and loses all magical properties thereafter.

77. (from an episode of X-Files) Bag of Neverending Turnips.

78) Daern's Instant Outhouse
79) Scythe of Reaping: Scythe +1, plant bane. Allows critical hits and sneak attacks against plants and scarecrows. Any plant slain by this weapon is instantly transformed into a grain product of the wielder's choice.
80) Ladder of cherry-picking. Can extend to any height if leaned up against a fruit tree.

81.Cindercatcher Cinders and loose coals move of their own volition into this simple bowl, preventing fires from spreading accidentally.

82. Shrieking seed. This seed enchants up to ten pounds of mundane seed to shriek if a bird lands within five feet of the seeds. This shriek is inaudible to humanoids, but disconcerting to birds, causing them to avoid fields where the seed is used.

83. Bottomless outhouse.

84. Farmer's Lucky Horseshoe - nailed over doorway, prevents bandits and monsters from noticing the farm.

85. Barn of Composting - all dung generated in the barn is stored in an extradimensional space until the time comes to mulch the fields.

86. Candle of Field Clearing - place the candle on a rock or stump in a field. Light the wick and allow to burn overnight. In the morning, the stump or stone will have disappeared.

87. Matchmaker's Quilt - a quilt sewn by a village matron that shows the family tree of each family in the area, to prevent inbreeding. Ogres are immune to this object.

88. Farmer Clot's Book of Animal Husbandry - reading this manual takes 1 day, and it disappears once read. Thereafter, the person who read the book is able to select animals to produce stronger offspring (max. HP).

89. Ever-sturdy Rainwater Barrel - Never leaks.

90. Ever-full barrel of Ale - every villager, serf, and angry mob, and don't forget adventures' need a drink

82. Shrieking seed.

86. Candle of Field Clearing - place the candle on a rock or stump in a field. Light the wick and allow to burn overnight. In the morning, the stump or stone will have disappeared.

Where does the stump go? Why is there a warning on the wax paper around the candle to never, under any circumstances, watch the candle burning overnight in hopes of seeing the magic happen?

And what happened to the curious lad who did stay up to see the magic?

Wow, Taliesin and M.Balmer are really putting out some good stuff! Way to go!

Gloves of mudslinging.
+3 to hit; 1d2 of non lethal damage
Save dc 25 enchantment or yell a secret or unflattering thing you know about someone near you.

Headband of Blissful Ignorance.
Int and wisdom scores each drop to a 6; your garb and appearance change to appear like the local town idiot. anything told to you, asked of you, or taught to you is forgotten after one minute. Roll vs confusion each round you want to act:
1) act normally
2) stand and drool
3) act abnormally by saying something quasi intelligent
4) laugh at some joke nobody else heard
5) act normally
6) do an uncouth action like scratch, belch, slurp your drink; etc.

Adds +20 to disquise skill; and +10 to any bluff roll to consider accusing that you might have done...anything.

Pitchfork of Frensied Mobs
+1 iron pitchfork;
Suggestion spell active 10ft radius; save dc 15; "us is good; them is bad; if your not us your them and we gonna get them"
anyone under the influence of the suggestion; must roll a d6 each round; on a odd number; they Rage as per 1st level barbarian.
wielder has +2 to any leadership attempts if he hold the fork over his head and waves it while talking.

Torch of Everburning things that scare people.
+2 blunt 1d6 club +2d6 fire damage.
When lit; it burns for 24 hours and cannot be extiguished; it channels from directly from the elemental plane of fire.
It can sense when more torches are needed and can summon d6 normal torches per round.
wielder has +3 to any rolls in his favor when dealing with fire creatures
Anytime the weilder has a group of at least 10 followers with lit torches; the wielder can:
Produce flame at will
Raging flame once a turn.