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Universal announced today that it has acquired the film rights to a number of Hasbro toy lines, including Monopoly, Magic: The Gathering, Oujia, Stretch Armstrong, Battleship and Candyland.
Seriously. This is not just a parody post to highlight the creative bankruptcy of big Hollywood films. It's really true. Ridely Scott (director of Alien, American Gangster and Blade Runner) is hard at work on the big screen adaptation of Monopoly.
We really didn't make that up.
Universal also announced it had won the rights to adapt the classic Atari game, Asteroids, into a film
They won't be the first board games to be made into movies.
Maybe you're forgetting this gem from 1985 (or perhaps you're just trying to forget.)
Why in the world would anyone consider the Asteroids video game to be a necessary purchase for movie rights? It has no plot. Heck, it barely even has any graphics to speak of. I played the heck out of this game back in the day when arcades ruled the mall. Even then, if I'd been told there was going to be an "Asteroids, the Movie," my reaction would have been a head-scratching "Huh?"
Certainly, Clue is much easier to turn into a movie than many of the properties that were purchased, but I remember being disappointed by it all the same. I don't imagine Battleship, Candyland or Ouija being too hard to make into movies, and even Monopoly could be turned into some sort of real estate drama or scheme comedy. Stretch Armstrong is a toy so that one's pretty easy too. Since there's not much to Asteroids, the writers can do pretty much anything they want with it as long as it involves some rocks floating around in space. I just don't think any of these movies will be worth watching.
I don't imagine Battleship, Candyland or Ouija being too hard to make into movies, and even Monopoly could be turned into some sort of real estate drama or scheme comedy. Stretch Armstrong is a toy so that one's pretty easy too. Since there's not much to Asteroids, the writers can do pretty much anything they want with it as long as it involves some rocks floating around in space. I just don't think any of these movies will be worth watching.
Exactly. If you want to make a movie about battleships, wouldn't it be easier, and better, to do a WWII movie about some great naval battle, back when these ships were the kings of the oceans? The reason these things are games is because they are simple, fun ways to pass the time. An initial investment is made and from then on its free. The idea that ships would have to sit around throwing shots in the dark in order to sink an enemy fleet just makes for a ridiculous movie.
Oh, and they've already made a Ouija movie. It's called Witchboard.
B0110cks! I had almost completely expunged any knowledge of Witchboard from my memory. Thanks ever so much.
Jumanji was based on a childrens book that became a board game due to the movie (I remember the Reading Rainbow episode that featured Jumanji as the featured book.)
If you want to make a movie about battleships, wouldn't it be easier, and better, to do a WWII movie about some great naval battle, back when these ships were the kings of the oceans?
I suspect most of these movies will be exactly as simple as that. Battleship = another WW2 movie, Candyland = 3D CG-animated kiddie flick, Stretch Armstrong = live-action, FX-heavy, family superhero movie, etc.
I'm feeling a movie based on Connect Four would be a romantic comedy.
