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"Wait," she says suddenly turning back to her new Modron friend, "you said priest right? What god?"
"This unit does not worship an individual planar being of power, those units known by many as "deities". Instead this unit meditates on the meaning of Law and its' function in the multiverse, and the power of Law grants this unit divine energy."
O.L.L.I shifts a bit to look up at Karrin.
"It is hard for many to believe, but divine power can be obtained from concepts rather than individuals. The process is more difficult, and requires discipline. After all, many beings like Modrons worship the concept of Law, so why wouldn't Law accumulate divine essence?"
"That makes sense (I think)," she says scratching her head, "but I was hoping to run into another priest of Rao, cuz I need a spiritual adviser, you know it's been over three years sense my last confession and I've racked up some doosies!" Karrin grabs a mug and quickly drains it of it's contents, "Father always says that sin weighs down the soul or puts spots on it or something like that and the only way to unburden or clean it is to go to confession and stuff, and I'm thinking that if I ever get to heaven I better have a pretty pure soul cuz most people see the horns and think the worst. I think if I do lots of good things I can get an edge but there's also rules and I need to go to confession to show that I know I broke rules and to show that I'm sorry about it."
Karrin uses her long slightly pointed tongue to lick out the bottom of the mug. Then after making sure there's not a drop left she turns back to Olli, "How is your god on forgiveness?" she asks.
Karrin uses her long slightly pointed tongue to lick out the bottom of the mug. Then after making sure there's not a drop left she turns back to Olli, "How is your god on forgiveness?" she asks.
Seeing this, Eir becomes pale and begins to hold her stomach, running, before long, back to the washroom she so recently returned from.
That makes sense (I think)," she says scratching her head, "but I was hoping to run into another priest of Rao, cuz I need a spiritual adviser, you know it's been over three years sense my last confession and I've racked up some doosies!" Karrin grabs a mug and quickly drains it of it's contents, "Father always says that sin weighs down the soul or puts spots on it or something like that and the only way to unburden or clean it is to go to confession and stuff, and I'm thinking that if I ever get to heaven I better have a pretty pure soul cuz most people see the horns and think the worst. I think if I do lots of good things I can get an edge but there's also rules and I need to go to confession to show that I know I broke rules and to show that I'm sorry about it."
Karrin uses her long slightly pointed tongue to lick out the bottom of the mug. Then after making sure there's not a drop left she turns back to Olli, "How is your god on forgiveness?" she asks.
O.L.L.I ponders the young tiefling's question
"It appears to this unit that your deity is concerned with lapses in the set order of his rules. By repeating the rules to you he is attempting to set up a positive feedback loop that will improve your compliance. While Law is rigid, it does hold that chaotic units can become Lawful with the proper discipline. Perhaps by neccessitating some form of confession your deity is attempting to have you perform an interior spiritual diagnostic check on your own soul. Remember that even flawed units can contribute to the eventual triumph of Law. If this unit did not believe this, he would have allowed himself to be disassembled on Mechanus years ago. If you cannot find the proper spiritual diagnostician, this unit would be happy to attempt to perform the service for you."
O.L.L.I's large mouth quirks upward in a grin
"Besides young unit Karrin, you are closer to your deity's 'heaven' now than you ever were on the Prime Material Plane. Perhaps one day you can go visit his realm and ask his avatar personally if you have achieved enough forgiveness to become a petitioner there."
O.L.L.I ponders the young tiefling's question"It appears to this unit that your deity is concerned with lapses in the set order of his rules. By repeating the rules to you he is attempting to set up a positive feedback loop that will improve your compliance. While Law is rigid, it does hold that chaotic units can become Lawful with the proper discipline. Perhaps by neccessitating some form of confession your deity is attempting to have you perform an interior spiritual diagnostic check on your own soul. Remember that even flawed units can contribute to the eventual triumph of Law. If this unit did not believe this, he would have allowed himself to be disassembled on Mechanus years ago. If you cannot find the proper spiritual diagnostician, this unit would be happy to attempt to perform the service for you."
O.L.L.I's large mouth quirks upward in a grin
"Besides young unit Karrin, you are closer to your deity's 'heaven' now than you ever were on the Prime Material Plane. Perhaps one day you...
Karrin listens to everything Olli says, nodding gravely at his words, but probably not understanding much of it. She perks up at the last bit though:
"Wow, really? You mean like I could just go through one of these doors and find paradise? You think we could sneak into heaven? That would be a lot less work," she says seeming to contemplate the possibility, "You really have a lot of good ideas Olli thank you. I think I'll take you up on that offer Olli, the spiritual guard thing, I think you'd be a better influence for me then Eir . . . she's nice and all, but I don't think she has very good morals . . ."
She briefly considers, telling Olli something, but then remembering something about manors, decides better of it.
"Besides she never told me about this back door to heaven. Aways good to have a back up plan! Thanks Olli, if you find out about Rao you could take my confessions proper and give me penitence or something, and I can help you be more anonymous."
Karrin listens to everything Olli says, nodding gravely at his words, but probably not understanding much of it. She perks up at the last bit though:
"Wow, really? You mean like I could just go through one of these doors and find paradise? You think we could sneak into heaven? That would be a lot less work," she says seeming to contemplate the possibility, "You really have a lot of good ideas Olli thank you. I think I'll take you up on that offer Olli, the spiritual guard thing, I think you'd be a better influence for me then Eir . . . she's nice and all, but I don't think she has very good morals . . ."
She briefly considers, telling Olli something, but then remembering something about manors, decides better of it.
"Besides she never told me about this back door to heaven. Always good to have a back up plan! Thanks Olli, if you find out about Rao you could take my confessions proper and give me penitence or something, and I can help you be more anonymous."
O.L.L.I bobbles his body in an approximation of a nod
"When this unit next travels to the Lady's Library for his work period he will attempt to assimilate any knowlege contained there on your deity Rao and his rituals. This unit is intrigued by your descriptions, and perhaps he will be able to assist you in your confession diagnostic. This unit appreciates your offer in assisting him to blend in as well. It is something that this unit bends his intellect to on a regular basis, but it is difficult to behave as an autonomous being."
O.L.L.I sips a bit more oil
"As to the access to 'heaven' question, this unit will attempt to pinpoint Rao's realm on the Great Wheel and perhaps see if there is a portal that is easily accesible in Sigil that would lead you to it. This unit would advise that perhaps a bit more experience is needed before undertaking such a journey. From the legends and stories that this unit has assimilated, the path to the realm of a power is often fraught with danger. Often malfunctioning units, called the 'unworthy' by the power, can be denied access or set upon with realm guardians. When this unit has discovered the proper information he will apprise you of it."
Shactal sees Eir in the distance, weaving back to the bar, wiping her mouth yet again and finally pulling up a stool next to Shactal and Serapis, "Confessing my sins, Shactal, confessing my sins."
"Yah, I have good hearing and you--a booming voice."
Shactal chuckles, a rusty, screeching sound like an unoiled iron portcullis opening.
"We all have sins, girl, some more than others"
Shactal hands Eir her drink and takes a healthy draw off his new pitcher of smoking liquid
"Thank the Infinite Inferno this meat chassis I'm wearing can hold its liquor. Hate ta' have to squeeze this big-arsed bug carcass into the jakes."
Ashura has turned to watch the darts game, clapping spontaneously at various points. Now she turns back to her two companions at the bar.
“What are you two talking about? Religion? Yerk! When I lived on Earth there was always trouble with one religion or another …
“Anyway Olli, you said you have a problem with your programming? Your AI seems pretty good to me!”
O.L.L.I bobbles his body in an approximation of a nod
"When this unit next travels to the Lady's Library for his work period he will attempt to assimilate any knowlege contained there on your deity Rao and his rituals. This unit is intrigued by your descriptions, and perhaps he will be able to assist you in your confession diagnostic. This unit appreciates your offer in assisting him to blend in as well. It is something that this unit bends his intellect to on a regular basis, but it is difficult to behave as an autonomous being."
O.L.L.I sips a bit more oil
"As to the access to 'heaven' question, this unit will attempt to pinpoint Rao's realm on the Great Wheel and perhaps see if there is a portal that is easily accesible in Sigil that would lead you to it. This unit would advise that perhaps a bit more experience is needed before undertaking such a journey. From the legends and stories that this unit has assimilated, the path to the realm of a power is often fraught with danger. Often...
"Wait, were you saying autonomous or anonymous?" Karrin says scratching her head, "autonomous is easy," she says as she waves her arms and body around with random spasms, "see! No strings, my body does what I want it too, but anonymous is a lot harder. Especially if you look different." she says (subconsciously touching one of her silver capped horns), "But I think I could help with that a bit as well."
"As for getting into heaven," she says with a sigh, "I only want to go if I know my family's gonna be there. They're all priest of Rao you see and they're awful keen to see me get in there and I wouldn't want to let them down. I want to go home and let them know I'm alright, but if I can't do that, I want to find a way so that I can make them happy in the next life if nothing else."
"what are you drinking Olli?" Karrin says quickly gathering up the empty mugs on the table, "next round is on me!"
Ashura has turned to watch the darts game, clapping spontaneously at various points. Now she turns back to her two companions at the bar.
“What are you two talking about? Religion? Yerk! When I lived on Earth there was always trouble with one religion or another …
“Anyway Olli, you said you have a problem with your programming? Your AI seems pretty good to me!”
Karrin quickly turns to Ashura:
"Wait did you say Oerth?"
Taking the mug from Shactal she pulls her fingers away quickly at first as if she's been burned. "When you get away from Gladsheim for a while you forget how great a cold ale is after drinking for days straight."
And then to Thorn, "Ahhh, I see you've met. We were just discussing the problem of sin."
Turns to Shactal, "Thorn is also somewhat of an authority in this area."
Thorn at last emerges from the direction of the latrines.
“Ah….. that’s better. Eir m’dear I thought I heard –“ he stops, pulls up short at the sight of the woman drinking with the ice devil.
“Oh. Shactal.” He says coldly, pushing forward again towards the bar. “Don’t you have scholars to torment?”
Shactal's insectile eyes narrow as he catches sight of Thorn
" Well Well. I was wonderin' why I smelt stable. You tryin' to pass yerself off as a scholar, goat? I only torment berks who try to "liberate" books from me workplace. Tha's me JOB innit?"
Shactal swivels around to Eir, showing his carapaced back to Thorn in a gesture of studied rudeness.
Taking the mug from Shactal she pulls her fingers away quickly at first as if she's been burned. "When you get away from Gladsheim for a while you forget how great a cold ale is after drinking for days straight."
And then to Thorn, "Ahhh, I see you've met. We were just discussing the problem of sin."
Turns to Shactal, "Thorn is also somewhat of an authority in this area."
Shactal chuckles again, causing several nearby patrons to wince
" Yeh, he's a real corker he is. Caught him once tryin' to nip out the door of me library wi' a copy of Liber Infernus Nomenii Veritae that was s'posed to be locked up in the Rare Manuscripts room. Shoulda let him go wi' it, woulda served him right, the berk who penned that waste of human skin was fulla screed. He'd be shoveling coal in Dis right now I wager."
" As fer sin, it weighs yer soul down, believe me on that one cutter. I didn't start out as an icy bug. But sin is a lot of fun, and long as it's fun we'll always have new recruits."
Shactal guestures over his shoulder at Thorn
"I'm hopin' I'm outta my current contract by the time that berk comes down the pike to Avernus."
O.L.L.I watches as his two young companions talk. He seems to be ready to say something, but the quick flow of conversation fuddles him a bit
" Ashura unit, this unit is flawed, but he is attempting to regain his optimal parameters even though his place in the Clockwork Nirvana will never be regained. This unit considers it a point of pride, if he understands the concept of pride correctly."
O.L.L.I turns to Karrin
" Programming is the force of Law suffused into your thoughts. You are not an autonomous being, you are a subset of a larger grouping, a part of a whole. Perhaps the best analogy this unit can give you is the feeling of 'community' that many beings claim to feel when surrounded by beings of a common ancestry and physical type. Programming guides you through the course of your duties and obliviates the need for individualistic choices. One's superiors decide for you and you obey. There is no dissent, the programming provides for your compliance. Many beings react with disdain to this type of existence, but this unit remembers it as a time of peace and joy where he was fufilling a duty that aided and supported the whole of the Modron race."
O.L.L.I sighs, a low bleeping sound.
"Unfortunately the severing from the Source this unit experienced only left him with impressions and feelings, not memories. It is lonely sometimes being an autonomous being."
O.L.L.I sighs, a low bleeping sound."Unfortunately the severing from the Source this unit experienced only left him with impressions and feelings, not memories. It is lonely sometimes being an autonomous being."
"Na Olli, I think you got it wrong, being anonymous is lonely, sure you fit in, sure no one questions your motives, but also no one knows you. Nobody cares if your tired, nobody cares if your lonely, and nobody cares if your sad inside. Being autonomous is easy, but being autonomous is also hard, it's easy to do, but hard to be. You want people to share your load when your tired, you want people to talk to when your lonely, and sometimes it's hard to deal with the sad thoughts in your head . . . but you need to push on somehow and the strength to do that needs to come from here," Karrin says putting her hand over her heart, "and here," she says putting her hand to her head.
"Having friends helps, but ultimately that sort of thing you need to do for yourself. You know what my secret is? You know, when I'm feeling sad and lonely? I like to think about all the good things that happened to me. I had iced cream when I was eight, I memorized the prayer book of Rao when I was ten, I got my own room when I was twelve and was put in charge of cleaning and looking after the stables (which was a lot of responsibility), and for the seven holy days of Rao I always found father something for the alter. He was so proud of me," Karrin says with a beeming smile, "so that's all there is to being autonomous . . ."
"Any other questions?"
... Karrin says with a beeming smile, "so that's all there is to being autonomous . . ."
" Indeed Karrin, this unit attempts to stay positive and use the extra span that Law has seen fit to give him to improve himself. While this unit is incapable of deriving pleasure from many things that other beings do, he still can feel pleasure and happiness. The thrill of a new fact found, the glow of accomplishment, the meeting of a new friend, all of these things are what this unit does to stave off any feelings of hopelessness. Law rules all, and Law is incapable of error. Therefore, this unit still has some unrevealed function to execute in Law's Grand Design."
O.L.L.I smiles at Karrin
"With good friends autonomy seems less oppressive."
... Karrin says with a beeming smile, "so that's all there is to being autonomous . . ."" Indeed Karrin, this unit attempts to stay positive and use the extra span that Law has seen fit to give him to improve himself. While this unit is incapable of deriving pleasure from many things that other beings do, he still can feel pleasure and happiness. The thrill of a new fact found, the glow of accomplishment, the meeting of a new friend, all of these things are what this unit does to stave off any feelings of hopelessness. Law rules all, and Law is incapable of error. Therefore, this unit still has some unrevealed function to execute in Law's Grand Design."
O.L.L.I smiles at Karrin
"With good friends autonomy seems less oppressive."
"Yay!" Karrin cheers, "less oppressive!"
Shactal guestures over his shoulder at Thorn"I'm hopin' I'm outta my current contract by the time that berk comes down the pike to Avernus."
“Wheerl,” drawls Thorn, “shouldn’t leave rare books lyin’ round where just any sod can get a hold of them then. But don’t fear for my immortal soul Snowy, this cutter ain’t addled enough to make deals with devils. There are safer paths to power than that.”
The bariaur gestures to the barkeep for another drink. “And if there’s one thing we agree on Snowy, it’s that sin can be a lot of fun,” he winks at Eir. “Fortunate for me that just ‘cos kings and god-lovers say it’s sin, don’t mean I’ll get dragged to the Pit for it.”
But don’t fear for my immortal soul Snowy, this cutter ain’t addled enough to make deals with devils. There are safer paths to power than that.”
Shactal snorts, a puff of ice vapor wreathing his face
"If I had a stinger for ev'ry leather-headed berk I heard make that claim ... "
Shactal pulls at his drink and stares at Thorn.
" It's all a matter of findin' the right lever, berk. If I wuz still in my Erinyes suit I betcha I'd have yer hoofprint on a contract faster than you can say 'randy buck'."
Shactal winks at Eir, takes another long pull off his green drink, pauses, fishes what looks like a large frozen white worm from the bottom of the now-empty glass and noisily slurps it up.
"But barring a handy Polymorph we'll never know. I guess we'll hafta agree to disagree eh? How's about joinin' us in a game of chance?"
Thorn, who has just taken a sip of his ale, nearly chokes into his cup, probably at the thought of Shactal as an Erinyes, but recovers quickly.
Wiping the foam of his lip with the back of his hand, he turns. “You in a game of chance? Thought that sorta thing was against your lot’s credo. But yeah, I’m in, depending on the stakes.”
Wiping the foam of his lip with the back of his hand, he turns. “You in a game of chance? Thought that sorta thing was against your lot’s credo. But yeah, I’m in, depending on the stakes.”
Shactal fishes several strangely-shaped dice from his large beltpouch
" Oh we LOVE games of chance Goaty. Gambling's one of the best vices, since berks hate to lose. I once got this sod's name on the dotted line chasing a 10 stinger pot in poker if yeh can believe it."
Shactal clears the table in front of him of the various empty glasses that have accumulated. He signals to Mitchifer to hit him with a fresh Bloody Apocalypse.
" But no worries. This is neutral turf and I'm not fishing. I'm in Security now, remember?"
Shactal rolls his dice experimentally.
" 'Sides, I need tha practice. Ya never know when yeh might be called back into the Recruitment biz again. Nah, this game's fer drinks only. Loser buys a round. The game is called Beholder's Virtue, it goes like this. Blah ...."
Eir takes the dice, now quite cold, and lets them fall.
Beholder's Virtue roll-off (1d6=6, 1d6=2, 1d6=4, 1d6=2, 1d6=1)
"Ladies first?"
Looks at Thorn.
"And yes, I use the term loosely."
Shactal picks up five six-sided dice and tosses
" C'mon ya sodding dice, Daddy needs a fresh drink fer free ."
Shactal surveys the results
"There we are, didn't tie yeh Eir, but I'm in line fer second. Goaty, you in? What about you Newt?"
Shactal glances back at the crowded bar. A large green pitcher sits smoking on the scarred countertop.
"Got ta get me freshup. Be right back."
“Whataya know, it’s the suitcase! What’s cranking Olli? Think you can get your mate Snowy here to chill?”
Thorn can be come easily distracted at times, and appears to be so now.
“Whoa, hang on berks, you started without me! What were the rules again?” Thorn lurches back to the bar, picks up the dice and rolls.
“C’mon lucky 13!”
“Ugh. Close.”
O.L.L.I walks up to Thorn and gravely shakes his hand
"Honored library patron Thorn, it is a pleasure to see you. This unit is happy to see that you and Shactal are conversing in a constructive manner, arguments are fundamentally chaotic and therefore should be avoided if possible. Besides the incident was primarily a function error in explanation on the part of this unit. This unit should have explained in greater detail about the Lady's Library's no lending policy to the Thorn Unit."
O.L.L.I swivels to look at Shactal
"As for this unit getting his co-worker to chill, this unit doesn't believe that he has the magical strength to enhance any of Shactal's icy qualities. This unit believes this would be analogous to 'bringing a torch to the Elemental Plane of Fire' as one library patron once described a similar situation."
"Honored library patron Thorn, it is a pleasure to see you. This unit is happy to see that you and Shactal are conversing in a constructive manner, arguments are fundamentally chaotic and therefore should be avoided if possible. Besides the incident was primarily a function error in explanation on the part of this unit. This unit should have explained in greater detail about the Lady's Library's no lending policy to the Thorn Unit."
Shactal snorts, his eyes narrowing as he takes in the smirking bariaur
"Don't be a total leatherhead Olli. Every knight of the post gonna spin you a web of screed when they get scragged with the swag in hand. Last time I wuz at tha library there wuz a soddin' great sign with the rules posted in Common, Abyssal, Infernal and Celestial. If Goaty can't read one of those four he shouldn't be at the library, he should be at the Civic Festhall taking 'remedial Common for berks'."
Shactal tosses the dice over to Thorn for his second throw
"Anyways, he's safe 'till he tries nicking another tome."
“Well, if the sign said I should do something…” mutters Thorn, snatching the dice quickly from Shactal’s icy hand.
“Sixteen!”
“Thor’s hairy nethers!”
"Has anyone seen the Barkeep? I want some nachos!"
A diminutive serving wench hustles over to Karrin
"Mitchifer had to step out luv. I can get you some nachos. Do you want plain, Ranch, Wild Beastland, or Lime and Elemental Salt?"
"Um, what? Ranch? Beast flavored? I don't know what that is . . . I want Nachos! Cheezy nochos! With Hal-o'pino peppers and salsa! and maybe some buffalo wings . . . I don't know what a buffalo is, but they do have some tasty wings! They're a bit like chicken now that I think about it . . . only spicy. Mmmmm. Spicy.
"So I'll take some cheezy nachos with those green peppers and some buffalo wings plz." Karrin says with her widest smile, then she blinks as she remembers something else,
"Oh, and bring some hot sauce too," Karrin says leaning in close, "don't tell Mitchifer, but the last batch of wings was kinda bland."
Sharinda scribbles furiously into her notepad
"One Cheesy nacho platter with halapeno peppers and salsa and an order of buffalo wings with a side of hot sauce coming up."
Sharinda looks up
" Any preference on the hot sauce luv? For real hot ones we have Baatorian Scream, Efreeti's Tears, or Gehenna Lava."
" Any preference on the hot sauce luv? For real hot ones we have Baatorian Scream, Efreeti's Tears, or Gehenna Lava."
"Do any of those burn human flesh?" Karrin asks, still leaning close, "Cuz some of my friends can't handle the really spicy foods and I might want to share. Also nothing poisonous plz."
"Do any of those burn human flesh?" Karrin asks, still leaning close, "Cuz some of my friends can't handle the really spicy foods and I might want to share. Also nothing poisonous plz."
Sharinda runs a cloth over a few puddles of ale that have collected on Karrin's table
"No worries luv. All them sauces are human-tolerable. Though they might burn yer tounge if you aint used to the hot stuff. You might want to start off with a milder one like Bytopian Crimson Kick. Still spicy, but not likely to sunburn yer insides."
"Do any of those burn human flesh?" Karrin asks, still leaning close, "Cuz some of my friends can't handle the really spicy foods and I might want to share. Also nothing poisonous plz."Sharinda runs a cloth over a few puddles of ale that have collected on Karrin's table
"No worries luv. All them sauces are human-tolerable. Though they might burn yer tounge if you aint used to the hot stuff. You might want to start off with a milder one like Bytopian Crimson Kick. Still spicy, but not likely to sunburn yer insides."
"But I like the spicy ones . . ." Karrin moans, "Ok, fine I'll try the 'Utopian crimson kicks' then."
Karrin then mumbles to herself "sounds like a bad martial arts move." As she slumps back in her seat to show her displeasure.
Eir stands up and does a little gloating dance, feeling a little bold because of her lead, and then throws the bones.
Then, saying a little prayer, she uses her luck domain re-roll.
"Direkte fra Ysgard!"
One of the dice seems to spin on it's point for a few seconds and then finally rattles to a stop.
"Hehe. Beat that, boys."