A large Orc in pirate costume sidles over to Curmudgeon

"Psst. Them types of slug throwers wont work in here. Yeh gotta get dirty if'n you want to see blood."

A large Orc in pirate costume sidles over to Curmudgeon... "Psst. Them types of slug throwers wont work in here. Yeh gotta get dirty if'n you want to see blood."

The stranger starts continues looking for an appropriate item in his bag of holding. Perhaps a can of Raid...

As the companions sip their coffee and make small talk, a large Orc dressed as a pirate saunters by. He glances at the small form of Traveller Smurf and smirks.

"Seems like yeh've got an admirer over at the other table Bluey. Might want to take cover 'fore he uses his breath on yeh."

The orc saunters off.

A large Orc in pirate costume sidles over to Curmudgeon... "Psst. Them types of slug throwers wont work in here. Yeh gotta get dirty if'n you want to see blood."

The stranger starts continues looking for an appropriate item in his bag of holding. Perhaps a can of Raid...

Making her way from a back hallway silently she unslings and sets her assault rifle down on the table. It has a gleaming 12 inch bayonet.

She looks at the orc.

"This one still works."

Looks at the stranger.

"Nice gun."

Making her way from a back hallway silently she unslings and sets her assault rifle down on the table. It has a gleaming 12 inch bayonet.

She looks at the orc.

"This one still works."

Looks at the stranger.

"Nice gun."

The Orc looks at Ha 442

"Yeh sure 'bout that missy? Yeh got jeweler's rouge bullets in that? Only gunpowder what works here."

Ha removes the laser sharpened titanium bayonet, lays it with the blade up, pulls out one of her hairs, and sets it on the blade.

The hair is sheared by its own weight.

"Yup, still works."

Ha removes the laser sharpened titanium bayonet, lays it with the blade up, pulls out one of her hairs, and sets it on the blade.

The hair is sheared by its own weight.

"Yup, still works."

The Orc looks impressed

"That's a fine pig sticker yeh got there girly."

"Mmm."

Ha holsters her assault rifle into a slot on her thigh.

Looks at the guy with the bag.

"Wutcha got in there?"

"Those guns are just adorable," the aged Neogi, mumbles from near by, "would either of you be interested in testing them out in the ring? I got a spike club wielding half-ogre that needs an opponent. Betting's been slow lately and some of those flashy boom sticks could liven things up a bit. We could call it a fight of old vs new or something like that."

"Dude, I'm a field engineer."

"Does the ogre play chess?"

"He sometimes puts on a little play with the crippled and broken bodies of his opponents before sucking their eyeballs out and smashing their skulls open to eat their brains . . . it's a bit like a game I guess. Not quite chess though . . ."

Traveller Smurf begins to run about the table after his third thimble of coffee hits his tiny system.

"Coffee coffee coffee! I smurf coffee! Much better than port, port makes you sleepy while coffee smurfs you UP! Coffee coffee coffee!"

"I like coffee as well," Karrin say looking at the steaming pot, "but it always seems to go straight to my head. I hear that there are even more powerful types of coffee somewhere. I wonder what that might be like? You guys ever drink really powerful stuff before?"

Traveller Smurf looks up at Karrin with wide eyes.

"I used to smurf acorn brandy in my village, that was pretty strong. Ooooh then there was Smurfberry wine, you could tie a good smurf on with that stuff. Smurfette used to make mixed smurfs whenever we had get-togethers, she was a good smurfer."

Traveller Smurf is beginning to babble a bit

"I have got to bring some of this coffee back home! Papa Smurf would love it! Even Sleepy Smurf couldn't nap while smurfing this smurf!"

"How many of your kind are there?" Karrin asks, "Papa is what I call my father and there must be more then one papa, so how do you tell each other's names apart?"

"How many of your kind are there?" Karrin asks, "Papa is what I call my father and there must be more then one papa, so how do you tell each other's names apart?"

Traveller Smurf frowns at this question.

"There's probably thirty of us all told. Papa Smurf is what we smurf our leader. He isn't our real father (I think). We smurf a long time, and we don't have a lot of girl smurfs in the village, just Smurfette. She is such a smurf, but I love her."

'Papa' is a worthy title for your leader. A leader should be the 'father' of his people. Very respectful.

"So there's thirty of you to only one of her? Wow, why don't you go to another village? Or are you all monks or something? My father was a monk, well my adopted father, and there was twenty two of them. They couldn't marry or, you know, be with a woman . . . as a husband and wife can, so they didn't have any other women living up there at all. Kinda lonely for me. Personally I think that even if you are all monks living a celebrate* life you should find some other woman for Smurfette to talk with. You know when the girl becomes a lady she's going to have questions . . ."

* I know the difference between celebrate and celibate but Karran might not.

Traveller Smurf ponders what karrin has said

"Perhaps you are right, but I wouldn't know where to look for more girl Smurfs. Is there any place you would reccomend?"

"Well seeing as your the first little blue man I've ever seen I'm going to have to say "no", sorry, but I hear that there's a big library somewhere, who knows, there might be something there."

Sharinda bustles up to the table to check on everyone.

"Well I see the sprite is feeling a little better. Can I get yeh folks anything else? A snack or summat? "

"More pie and ice cream!" Karrin cheers, "and something healthy," she reluctantly adds, "I guess . . . maybe a salad."

Maybe some eggs? Bird, not reptilian. With salsa? And more coffee.

Sharinda smiles at Karrin and Saurig

"Tch. I woulnae worry about healthy lass, yer a willow. I have ta eat salads twice daily now that I passed me 200th, I just don't bounce back like in me first century. None the less, we have some produce fresh from the halfling realm on the Outlands ... Sheela's petitioners can grow a mean cabbage! I have some Syrupberry pie or some sweet molasses crumb pie; your choice dear. I'll get yeh some eggs too Ser, we have some lovely Axebeak ones, fresh from some Prime world. They're tasty as all get out. Do yeh wants them fried up or does yeh prefer them in the shell?"

Whatever you think, Sharinda. I trust your judgement.

'I'll fry yeh up an omelet with salsa and scallions ser. Karrin, I'll get yeh a slice of each pie and some more ice cream. And that salad fer starters, should have yer veg first. More coffee all around too."

Sharinda hurries back to the kitchen, dodging the bar patrons adroitly, her small form dodging with an unconcious grace only an acrobat or long-term waitress can manage.

"I like her," Karrin says to her companions, "she's really nice and treats me real well. I should get her a gift or something."

Maybe one of the other staff members can give us a clue about what she would like.

"That's a good idea," Karrin says as she quickly scans the bar, "Hey Mr. Reaver? Do you know what Sharinda would like for a present?"

"You looking to fight in the pits?" the nasty creature snarls.

"Um . . . no?" Karrin says with a peep.

"Then piss off!" the evil little spider thing snaps as he leads his umber hulks away.

"Maybe I should find someone else that works here . . ." Karrin mutters when the reaver is out of earshot.

An orc dressed like a buccaneer with a large scimitar in his bejeweled sash sees Karrin's interaction with the surly Neogi.

"Lass, if yer lookin' to make with the nice with Sharinda, she likes chocolates, 'specially Arborean elven honey chocolates."

The large orc leans in closer. Karrin is amazed how intellegent and well-groomed he looks (for an orc ...most are stupid and smelly as a rule)

"I can get'cher a box, if yeh got any gelt."

The orc rubs his thumb and forefingers together in the universal sign for cash.

"Wow, good!" Karrin chirps with excitement, "How much do they cost?" She asks digging into her coin purse.

The orc grins, revealing tusks that are ritually carved with arcane symbols and dyed with a lurid red color in the carved valleys of bone.

"I can get'cher a big box of them for 5 Ladies. I gots a pipeline to the source as it were."

"Five ladies?" Karrin says, still somewhat unsure of the street lingo, but not wanting to appear stupid in front of the tough looking bouncer, "that sounds a bit steep. Then again I just got payed, from my tough and dangerous mercenary job, and I got a whole lot of odd looking coins. What do the ladies look like again? I don't want to insult you by slipping you some off world coin."

While Karrin and the large pirate orc haggle amongst themselves, Sharinda returns, her tray piled high with the latest food from the kitchen. She pauses to place a large steaming omelet in front of Saurig, a slightly smaller one for Traveller Smurf and a big salad with sliced egg, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, radishes, large crunchy croutons, and several diced pieces of smoked ham mixed in at Karrin's seat. She puts down a crock of cold ranch dressing by the bowl.

Ye gods I need to get a snack now

"There yeh go ducks, a bit to start yeh off. I'll be back with fresh coffee and a round of pie and ice cream as soon as you finish."

Sharinda bustles off to her next table

"Thank you Sharinda," Karrin shouts after the busy gnome as she makes her rounds. Karrin licks her chops and quickly clasps her hands together in prayer. When she finishes her prayers Karrin loads a fork up with salad and pops it in her mouth. She reloads her fork before turning back to the orcish bouncer.

"so, as I was saying," Karrin says between chomps, "I got money to pay you, but I better be sure I got the right coins for you."

The grinning orc waves his hand dismissively

"Five pieces of gold whatever the provenance is fine by me, long as they ain't been shaved too hard."

The orc leans closer and grins wider.

"I'll go check to see if I have one at the ready and I'll be right back if you want to go for it."

'That's even more expensive then I feared' Karrin thinks to herself, 'still,' she thinks as she fishes out the five gold, 'five gold is a small price to pay for kindness.'

Karrin places the five gold on the table, "There you go sir, get the goods as soon as possible plez."

The orc winks at Karrin again.

"No worries me fine bint. One box o' honey chocolates it is."

The orc saunters off towards the back of the World Serpent.

"I think I might have been had," Karrin says turning towards her companions, "how much do you want to bet that he's got the same source the inn has?"

Traveller Smurf looks up from his coffee

"I would smurf that that is entirely possible."

Oh and for our entertainment, a totally random link: Totally random link

Slings her assault rifle over her shoulder and heads over to the dart board.

Sullenly throws her knife into the bullseye a few times.

I cast magic missile.

I cast magic missile.

Are you attacking the darkness?

Strolls in. Looks around. Spits on the floor.

Wanders over to the dart board. "Nice knife."

"Eat s!@t green eyes."

The flamboyantly-dressed orc returns to the table with a large box, which he presents to Karrin with a flourish.

"Here yeh go me fine lass, one box of Arborean Elven honey chocolates. Pleasure doin' business wit'cha."

The orc smiles tuskily again.

The orc walks away, then spies ha 442 tossing her dagger.

"Yeh do anything 'cept play around with that pig-sticker bint?" he inquires casually "I gots a jones for a bit of a contest if yer willin'"