In case you didn't know. We are still here.

If you don't know what Kingdom of Loathing (KoL) is, then read on...

Yes! Another time-waster - but this time, it can be played during conference calls and at work! Go forth to Kingdom of Loathing and join the Paizonians clan! (You have to be level 3 to join a clan.) It's funny, it's irreverent - you'll have a good time. Promise.

An awesome reference, with recipes and quest guides, is The KoL Wiki.

It's true! The Kingdom of Loathing is a wonderfully terrible way to waste your time. You too can fight dirty hippies, baseball bats (you know, they fly and look like a baseball), and harem girls. Eat until you can't eat any more but gain no calories! Drink until you're falling down drunk, but there's no hangover!

To begin, go to Mt. Noob and talk with the Toot Oriole. He'll set you aright.

If you haven't played and are looking for something fun and silly to waste time with, give it a try.

If you have played before, there have been a number of changes and additions that have been fun. They have added a number of high-level adventure sites that offer new skills and items. You can dive into the sea and fight funk sole brothers. You can go into the clan basement and beat up sleazy hobos. A few of us in the clan have a Llama lama familiar which gives us gongs which allow characters to take the form of a ... cockroach.

And all for free.

In addition, they no longer delete inactive accounts -- so if you haven't played in a while, it looks like all your stuff may still be there.

If you join the Paizonian Guild, you can get ennui-flavored potato chips. What more could you want. (Shoot me a message in game and I'll get you hooked up.)

Hope to see you there.

Seriously (or not...) kids, this is fun, fun, fun. It even lets you meet the dreaded... Baiowulf. And you haven't really lived before your robo-chef explodes after serving you carob noodles and white chocolate pizza.

Join up, and we'll give you some wintergreen-flavoured crisps! Yum!

We are looking for some good people to help replace some of our missing members...

For example:

R.I.P. Pesto XIV the 25th level Sauceror. He never got a chance to ascend to the next life. He enjoyed passing the time eating ravioli della hippies and sipping flutes of flat champagne. He was last seen on January 19, 2008 on the Mysterious Island of Mystery trying to attack some orcish frat boys that he had bombed back to the stone age. He is survived by Oval the 20-pound Green Pixie and Isosceles the 20-pound Nervous Tick and other familiars. He will be missed.

If you are one of our missing members, we'd love to see you back. If you haven't ever played, you should give it a try. It's free. (And there's not much left out there that is still free that's worth doing...)

I wish I knew when my account expired on there...D'oh!

I wish I knew when my account expired on there...D'oh!

Back in the saddle, as a pastamancer this time 'round.

ya... I'm one of those guys that used to play but don't anymore. which is a shame. My account was awesome but I just don't have the time to devote to keeping up anymore. i'd sell of my account, but I don't feel comfortable with that. In fact, I'm not entirely sure what to do, but since I have a mr. Accessory jr, my account was apparently set to "do not delete" or something so it doesn't expire on me. I guess I can always go back later if I want or I get more inclination.

But really People who are curious: It's a lot of fun. It's also free. I can't stress this enough but it's one of the most awesome things you can still get for free. Think about that. Just how many awesome games do you play that are 100% free? ya, I thought so.

ya... I'm one of those guys that used to play but don't anymore. which is a shame. My account was awesome but I just don't have the time to devote to keeping up anymore. i'd sell of my account, but I don't feel comfortable with that. In fact, I'm not entirely sure what to do, but since I have a mr. Accessory jr, my account was apparently set to "do not delete" or something so it doesn't expire on me. I guess I can always go back later if I want or I get more inclination.

I was surprised at how many of the inactive Paizonians had "Mr. Accessories". Here's at least one thought for people who had an account and know that they won't play again -- you could log in one more time and make a massive donation to the clan coffers. I'm sure that there are quite a number of good items that could really be useful for our clan members.

Back in the saddle, as a pastamancer this time 'round.

R.I.P. Robilar the 10th level Seal Clubber. His whereabouts are unknown since taking on the quest for the Holy MacGuffin. Before heading out on the quest, he stocked up on bean burritos and Imp Ale. He also brought along Norbert the 1-pound Origami Towel Crane and Mordenkainen the 6-pound levitating potato to help him on his journeys. He was last seen on the Oasis running away from a Rolling Stone. He will be missed.

This game is officially sanctioned by the self-pronounced quasi-deity Frumious B (currently Seal Clubber) as well as his numerous familiars, so you know it's gotta be good! I mean, how many other games let you have a pet rock???
Incidentally, my rock might have run over Robilar (see previous entry).

It's also very, very free, no downloads of any kind, and great fun.

We now have a pool table in the Clan VIP Lounge. You're going to need a Clan VIP Lounge Key which is available at Mr. Store. (Or you can spend a whole lot of meat getting it through the mall.)

We still have room in the clan for more people (or for people to come back).

My Pastamancery improves. I have acquired my Legendary Epic Weapon and defeated my Nemesis.

Congratulations! May Phat Loot be yours always!!!

There's a new dungeon in the basement. I haven't had a chance to explore, but it's now open for all. Enjoy the Slime Tube.

This should be fun.

Gack! That slime burns!

Anyone else feel like there are almost too many quests going on? I'm wanting to get some more hard-core ascensions under my belt but they have the Hobo dungeons which I haven't really played in enough yet, the new slime dungeon, the dwarven machine quest thing, and now the new familiar for the item of the month has some wild adventures with it. Great stuff, but I'm still trying to fully enjoy all that was already there.

Happy Oyster Egg Day.

If you haven't gone searching for eggs yet, do. There seems to be a rare golden plastic egg to be found due to the late status of Oyster Egg Day.

Did anyone else get the Earthquake adventure?

Something strange is afoot at the KoL...

I got it. No idea what it means, though, and it's a little early for Crimboween buildups.

I got it. No idea what it means, though, and it's a little early for Crimboween buildups.

I keep meeting dweeby Rock Snakes down in Hobopolis. They are certainly something new.

Update on the Rock Snake front: Anyone else get floaty sand yet? It's definitely a potion, but I'm afraid to try using it until I get another one.

Update on the Rock Snake front: Anyone else get floaty sand yet? It's definitely a potion, but I'm afraid to try using it until I get another one.

Edit: Okay, I had a few spare floaty sand and this is what it does:
5 Pounds Lighter
You're about five pounds lighter than you normally are. It's as if you've got the opposite of half of a camera pointed at you.
+10% Combat Initiative
Moxie +5

We are looking for some good people to help replace some of our missing members...

For example:

R.I.P. Pesto XIV the 25th level Sauceror. He never got a chance to ascend to the next life. He enjoyed passing the time eating ravioli della hippies and sipping flutes of flat champagne. He was last seen on January 19, 2008 on the Mysterious Island of Mystery trying to attack some orcish frat boys that he had bombed back to the stone age. He is survived by Oval the 20-pound Green Pixie and Isosceles the 20-pound Nervous Tick and other familiars. He will be missed.

If you are one of our missing members, we'd love to see you back. If you haven't ever played, you should give it a try. It's free. (And there's not much left out there that is still free that's worth doing...)

Pesto XIV has returned from the land of the dead!

Huzzah!

Woohoo!

Also, there's a new use for the sand. Paste it to the right thing, equip it, and soon you're fighting

Still recruiting. If you are even a little curious about what Kingdom of Loathing is, go here --> Link. There are 4 "choose your own adventures" that they pass out at every Comic Con. This link takes you to the pdf files of the adventures. I've read 1 and 3 -- and in each of those, there is an "easter egg" adventure that you can't normally get to -- usually involving Owen and Beru Lars -- that's a little disturbing.

Anyway, still looking for new members -- or for old members to return.

There are currently a number of strange events happening with a number of tremors associated with an earthquake a few weeks ago. There is now a new familiar and other items that can be created through combining some of the Floaty Sand. It's a good time to join in or join again if you've taken a break. And Crimbo (Christmas) will be coming up in just a few months.

Your nemesis has been found!

About time, too.

About time, too.

"Greetings, Moff Rimmer. You have retrieved the artifact from your Nemesis, I hope?"

"Yeah," you reply. "he had this hat."

"That is not the artifact we're looking for. Is that all he had? This is most unfortunate. he must have a secret tropical island volcano lair or something similar, on which he's hidden the artifact. I will put our divination specialists to the task of locating it -- when I will have more information for you, you will be contacted."

What did you drop into the chute? I'm too drunk to adventure now, but there's always tomorrow...

What did you drop into the chute? I'm too drunk to adventure now, but there's always tomorrow...

I'm in the cave now, but I'm just bad at those stupid word games. How many password fragments? One word or separated? Gaaaaah!

I'm in the cave now, but I'm just bad at those stupid word games. How many password fragments? One word or separated? Gaaaaah!

You know, this password thing is starting to get on my nerves. I have the beginning of the password and the three pieces that match up after it. I also have the end and the three pieces that come before it. However, the two halves don't match up. They only drop eight bits of paper, so this has to be all of it. Anyone else have this problem?

EDIT: It turns out the straight lines I thought were the ends really just fit together. In other words, straight lines aren't the end, the edges that don't match any other edges are the ends.

Speaking of fiendish puzzles - did you ever finish that Dwarven Mining Office thing? That was waaaaaaay too clever for me.

Speaking of fiendish puzzles - did you ever finish that Dwarven Mining Office thing? That was waaaaaaay too clever for me.

It's Yuletide -- time to roast your marshmallows and listen to spooky stories. This one is my favorite...

You grab a roasting stick and mercilessly skewer your marshmallow. As you roast, you listen to a spine-curdling, blood-tingling tale from Roger Kenny, the Roastmaster:
"Once, in a time that was more brightly colored and cheaply animated than our own," Roger says, holding a flashlight under his chin to maximize the spookiness, "there were four teenagers and a dog who traveled around in a van, solving mysteries. One evening, they found themselves in a haunted house. A spoooky ghost had settled there, and it chased them up and down the hallways, rattling its chains and moaning."

"That does sound pretty spooky," another roaster says.

"Well -- not really. It turned out that the ghost was just old Mr. Finley, who ran the amusement park. The spooky part is that, as soon as the ghost appeared, the teenagers' dog began to speak! And it spoke in a tortured parody of human speech: 'relp me, Raggy,' it would say. 'I am an abomination and rould re rilled. Rill re, Raggy.'"

"Okay, that's incredibly spooky."

"And it gets worse! It turns out the dog had a hellborn spawn, a scrappy little nauseating puppy! It completely ruined the teenagers' mystery-solving adventures."

You feel goosebumps prickle on your skin as you ponder the horrible hellhound and its misbegotten offspring. Like, spooky, man.

Where can I get something to roast in the Yuletide Bonfire? Saucermancers get a bit touchy when you try to roast them in any fire...

Where can I get something to roast in the Yuletide Bonfire? Saucermancers get a bit touchy when you try to roast them in any fire...

Dragonborn3 wrote:

Where can I get something to roast in the Yuletide Bonfire? Saucermancers get a bit touchy when you try to roast them in any fire...

You have to buy a marshmallow at the market for 100 meat.

Now it's time for... Tales from the Bonfire in the Seaside Town in the Kingdom of Loathing!

You grab a roasting stick and mercilessly skewer your marshmallow. As you roast, you listen to a spine-curdling, blood-tingling tale from Roger Kenny, the Roastmaster:
"Once upon a time, in a foreign land, there was a young prince," Roger says, holding a flashlight under his chin for maximum spoooky effect. "The prince's uncle killed the King and married the Queen --"

"Oh, I've heard this one," a fellow roaster says. "They were all lions, right?"

"No, they were people."

"No, I'm pretty sure, and the evil uncle had this herd of hyenas that did his bidding. . ."

"They were people in this story, okay? Okay. So the prince didn't know what to do about it, and he was really depressed all the time, and he moped around the castle. Then, the spooooky ghost of his father appeared to him and told him to get off his kiester and make something of himself!"

"Brrr. My dad was like that, too. So what did the prince do?"

"Well, he tried to get some revenge, but he screwed it up pretty bad, and everybody died except Horatio."

"Was he the warthog, or the meerkat?"

"They were all people! Anyway, he died, and his mother died, and his uncle died, and they all became spoooky ghosts that were doomed to be together in the castle for all eternity."

You feel shivers run up and down your spine at the thought of spending an eternity with your extended family. Freaky, man.

Just applied for the guild. I'm Jerrie Wyrmchild in the KoL.

I just processed your application. Welcome!

I just processed your application. Welcome!

For everyone else, if you haven't played in a few days, make sure that you do so and defeat Crys-Rock -- a bigger rock creature that looks like it may only happen once per person. It looks like the earthquake stuff is starting to come together. You can smith the floaty sand together and eventually make rocky road ice cream -- and possibly even get a new familiar -- the rock lobster.

Good luck and hope to see you there.

It's Halloween early this year...

There's something strange afoot in the Distant Woods. There's a new area called The Shivering Timbers. Get your new masks and go trick-or-treating.

It's Halloween early this year...

There's something strange afoot in the Distant Woods. There's a new area called The Shivering Timbers. Get your new masks and go trick-or-treating.

Hey, so turns out that if you play something regularly for 6 months, then stop for like 9 or 10, then start again? Ya, you get really lost. I've totally forgotten what I was in the middle of. I mean, I wrapped up the two outstanding guild quests I had, but other then that the only thing I could think of to do was meat farming at the Castle in the sky. If anyone has any recommendation on where I should head (like, do we still need hobo adventuring under the clan hall?), I'd welcome it. Any newcomers want some help? Just ask. But please give me some direction or I'm just gonna keep farming.

And what's the story with this slime hole thing? Is it something I should be considering?

Just in case anyone wants to know, I got to the last boss in the Slime Hole if anyone far stronger then me with some kinda slime resistance wants to take him on, and I opened up Hobopolis again. Didn't know it had closed up. I plan to work on that now until someone tells me to do otherwise.