paizo.com - Paizo / Messageboards / Paizo Community / Arts & Entertainment / Movies / So, they're making a movie based on ASTEROIDS

Werthead, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 10:15 AM

And let's face it, it was only inevitable. Whilst playing the game, I felt that the narrative complexity was not best-suited to the videogame medium, and the compelling story of the little triangle shooting big rocks into little rocks really needed validation in the cinematic form.

I bet they get Shia LaBoeuf to play the triangle spaceship. Maybe they'll play up the sexual tension between the spaceship and the UFO which randomly appears occasionally and shoots up a few rocks before vanishing?

The possibilities are, quite literally, mind-boggling.

Matthew Morris (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 10:25 AM

Werthead wrote:

And let's face it, it was only inevitable. Whilst playing the game, I felt that the narrative complexity was not best-suited to the videogame medium, and the compelling story of the little triangle shooting big rocks into little rocks really needed validation in the cinematic form.

I bet they get Shia LaBoeuf to play the triangle spaceship. Maybe they'll play up the sexual tension between the spaceship and the UFO which randomly appears occasionally and shoots up a few rocks before vanishing?

The possibilities are, quite literally, mind-boggling.

Nah, Keaneu Reeves.

1) He's the right age

2) He's transparent and two dimensional

3) When the UFO appears he can go 'whoa'

Davi The Eccentric, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 11:40 AM

This... This can't be serious! I mean, haven't they made this movie two times before? Armageddon and Deep Impact? Who thought this was a good idea?!?

Ultradan, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 11:59 AM

What's next?...

PONG: The Movie

(and its sequel: PONG 2: To Hell With Cool Ideas)

Cuchulainn, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 12:11 PM

This should give fodder to the Scary Movie/Epic Movie/Teen Movie folks:

They can call it Not Another Lame Freakin' Movie-Based-On-Some-Bit-Of-Childhood-Nostalgia!

JoelF847 (RPG Superstar Top 32), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 03:35 PM

At least it's not a remake. No matter how bad this movie sounds, the one they make in 20 years that's a remake of it will be far worse.

James Keegan (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 03:39 PM

I can't believe this got green lit and my awesome script for a Pitfall movie was passed over.

Kirth Gersen (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Modules Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 03:41 PM

I'm going to film "Parcheesi II" with a budget of 18 billion dollars. It will be nothing but close-up, sped-up film of Leonardo diCaprio and Matt Damon playing Parcheesi, with a really loud Conan the Barbarian-style chanting music soundtrack and occasional shots that spin around the board in slo-mo. Everyone in the world will hate it, so they'll immediately hire me at a much higher salary to make "The Checkers Adventure."

Vattnisse (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 04:21 PM

Clearly, you are the only one who can do justice to my Petch movie. My agent will be in touch shortly with a script about a chicken fighting voles by dropping large ice cubes on top of them.

Of course, if you are not interested, I'm sure Uwe Böll is available.

yellowdingo, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 04:39 PM

Oh my god...Asteroids was originally plundered from a novel as a premis for the videogame.

This is the one where a guy invents a spacedrive in his shed, builds a starship, and goes out to a lonely ancient outpost which is a manned defence outpost on the edge of the universe to replace the last guy And blow away 'Asteroids' of exotic galaxy destroying matter being fired at us by aliens.

its like a cross between 'Explorers' and 'Last Starfighter'.

David Fryer, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 04:47 PM

I don't know which is more disturbing, the fact that they are making this movie or the fact that there was a four studio bidding war for the rights. I'm saving my money for Dig Dug and Q-Bert.

aylengyr (Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 04:54 PM

Hey how about a live action pac-man? Or maybe Joust? Those would be good stories to tell. As long as they avoid CG and stick to real actors. CG just wouldn't do it justice.

Kirth Gersen (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Modules Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 04:55 PM

David Fryer wrote:

Q-Bert.

Dude, that game rocked. But they already made a cartoon out of it, IIRC...

Matthew Morris (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 06:15 PM

Ok, what got me was this part, now that I'm at home and can read it.

Quote:

As opposed to today's games, there is no story line or fancy world-building mythology, so the studio would be creating a plot from scratch. Universal, however, is used to that development process, as it's in the middle of doing just that for several of the Hasbro board game properties it is translating to the big screen, such as "Battleship" and "Candyland."

Besides 'how the frak do you make a movie about candyland' If you're 'creating a plot from scratch' why do you have to sercure rights?

Davi The Eccentric, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 06:24 PM

aylengyr wrote:

Hey how about a live action pac-man? Or maybe Joust? Those would be good stories to tell. As long as they avoid CG and stick to real actors. CG just wouldn't do it justice.

A live-action Pac-Man?

Lord Fyre (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 06:54 PM

Ultradan wrote:

What's next?...

PONG: The Movie

(and its sequel: PONG 2: To Hell With Cool Ideas)

I don't know, I keep going back and forth on this.

Heathansson, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 08:37 PM

Dig Dug.
Man, little dued blows up stuff in the undertunnels, and their guts fly everywhere.
That's bad.

therealthom (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 08:42 PM

Heathansson wrote:

Dig Dug.
Man, little dued blows up stuff in the undertunnels, and their guts fly everywhere.
That's bad.

You're right. It was bad.

On the bright side, at least it's not Nature Trail to Hell in 3D.

Heathansson, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 08:45 PM

*picks up barrel; rolls it down the sloping girder*

therealthom (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 08:49 PM

Wait, not a barrel. A rock! And not down a ramp. Up a hill. Again and Again! And not some wimpy name like Mario, something bold like Sisyphus!?

Heathansson, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 09:25 PM

Damn existentialist Fellini video game players.

lynora, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 09:48 PM

Kirth Gersen wrote:

David Fryer wrote:

Q-Bert.

Dude, that game rocked. But they already made a cartoon out of it, IIRC...

Since when has that ever stopped anyone from making a bad movie?

Heathansson, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 09:57 PM

I think this must be video games' revenge on movies for the Tron game.

Davi The Eccentric, Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 10:03 PM

Heathansson wrote:

I think this must be video games' revenge on movies for the Tron game.

But all the Tron games I know of make sense. After all, most of the movie was just programs playing what amounted to arcade games from the 1980s.

Dragonsage47 (Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Chronicles, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 10:10 PM

I wanna know how this got slotted before PACMAN... face it...nothing impacted our lives to that level...every....except maybe...DONKEY KONG... an important prequel to Mario Brothers...how can this be.... a TRAVESTY I TELL YOU.... WE"VE BEEN ROBBED AND OUR CULTURAL RELEVANCE AS CHILDREN OF THE 80's HAS BEEN MARGINALIZED...lol

Velcro Zipper (Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Thu, Jul 2, 2009, 11:50 PM

How could they make a movie based on Asteroids and pass up the obvious gold mine that is Adventure?

Kno, Fri, Jul 3, 2009, 12:55 PM

They won't be making Planescape Torment movie, that's for sure.

Werthead, Fri, Jul 3, 2009, 01:31 PM

Kno wrote:

They won't be making Planescape Torment movie, that's for sure.

No, but they should. Immediately.

Heathansson, Fri, Jul 3, 2009, 01:35 PM

Innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Heathansson, Fri, Jul 3, 2009, 01:35 PM

dubitably.

Xaaon of Xen'Drik (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Fri, Jul 3, 2009, 05:14 PM

Wow, so they've opened up the field for any video game to be turned into a movie...

Galaga?

Centipede?

Dig Dug?

Oh I know...

SINISTAR!!! YEAH!!!

oh or Star Castle!

Seldriss (Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber), Fri, Jul 3, 2009, 05:25 PM

Some ideas for Hollywood (they need some) :

- Tetris
- Breakout
- Diner Dash
- Zuma

What about...
- Diablo ?
(seriously, it can't be worse than the D&D movies)

Kruelaid (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Chronicles, Pathfinder Companion, Planet Stories Subscriber), Fri, Jul 3, 2009, 05:26 PM

pong

Seldriss (Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber), Fri, Jul 3, 2009, 05:30 PM

Kruelaid wrote:

pong

Already suggested by Ultradan.

Kruelaid (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Chronicles, Pathfinder Companion, Planet Stories Subscriber), Fri, Jul 3, 2009, 05:34 PM

Damn that Ultradan. When did he come out of hiding?

Xabulba, Fri, Jul 3, 2009, 05:55 PM

Tic-Tac-Toe

David Fryer, Fri, Jul 3, 2009, 08:54 PM

What about Space Invaders, Missile Command, and Pole Position?

Xabulba, Fri, Jul 3, 2009, 08:57 PM

David Fryer wrote:

What about Space Invaders, Missile Command, and Pole Position?

Sci-Fi, military, porno:)

Kruelaid (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Chronicles, Pathfinder Companion, Planet Stories Subscriber), Fri, Jul 3, 2009, 09:01 PM

rofl

Kruelaid (Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Chronicles, Pathfinder Companion, Planet Stories Subscriber), Fri, Jul 3, 2009, 09:04 PM

frogger
lunar lander
moon patrol
cannonball
defender
...
MINESWEEPER the movie

Davi The Eccentric, Fri, Jul 3, 2009, 09:09 PM

Kruelaid wrote:

MINESWEEPER the movie

Must I keep linking to videos?

sowhereaminow (Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Chronicles, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Sat, Jul 4, 2009, 01:36 PM

As Hokeywood likes to cram too many villains into one comic book movie, maybe they'd decide to cram multiple video games into one movie.

Coming Soon: The Atari 2600 Movie

Or maybe they'll just adapt the comic book (Atari Force).

Two birds - one stone.

Woodraven, Sat, Jul 4, 2009, 02:05 PM

As already stated that Universal has the rights to Candyland, fricken Battleship. Don't they already have plenty of Navy movies made with those in them. Good boardgame and all but please someone be original in Hollyweird or at least be original enough to throw a twist on classical literature other plots that haven't been remade yet but are old enough that a remake could give justice to it having been made.

Xabulba, Sat, Jul 4, 2009, 02:18 PM

"Chess: the movie", nah too many people would call it racist.

Pygon (Pathfinder Chronicles Superscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber), Sat, Jul 4, 2009, 02:32 PM

If the alien ship doesn't shoot an asteroid so that its exploding pieces destroy the hero's ship, the movie won't get my endorsement.