Last week we sent the Advanced Race Guide to the printer. In the very near future we’ll be sharing some previews of this book, which is chock-full of new options for characters of all playable races. Until then, we thought we would whet your appetite by showing off this books amazing cover, painted by the lovely and talented Wayne Reynolds.
And now, just for fun, if you were writing a caption for this cover, what would it be? You get extra points for fun, creativity, and humor... as well as good taste.
Harsk: I told you that we should have turned left after riddleport.
Merisiel: Oh come on, stop sulking, i said i was sorry!
Harsk: Um less talk more kill?
Merisiel: No, he needs to stop sulking. I promise i will never call you a carrion eater again.
Harsk: But he does eat carrion, i saw him.
Tengu: Damn it, Harsk.
Kobold: Um, can we fight now? I am sure that getting to the bottom of this is great and all, but we were in the middle of bloodlust here.
Harsk: We'll get back to you in a moment scalyface.
Kobold: Outrageous! How insulting! Should i hiss now and wag my tongue?
Harsk: but...you have...scales...on...your...face...
Kobold: It is not considered polite, sir, to mention private things like that!
Merisiel: Weren't we fighting just now?
Kobold: This is more important!!!!
Harsk: "Alright lassy. When I told yer to to invite along the spell casting bird, I think yer misunderstood me. I meant the pretty one. Not this flying rat here."
Merisiel: "Actually Tengu can't fly."
Harsk: "Shut it Elf."
Kobolds: "You know if your busy, we could come bak later?"
Well, obviously, we have a kobold horde in these caves.
They're climbing up the walls, snatching all their weapons up
Trying to kill you
So you'd better sneak attack, power attack
sneak attack, power attack
And watch you back so they don't flank you
Merisiel: Wow I'd love to meet the artist those kobolds look almost real.
Harsk: Ye do realize they be breathing lass?
Random Kobold: They're onto us, RUN!
And two that are breaking the fourth wall
Harsk: Damn it, what do I always say? Be careful what you wish for.
Merisiel: Come on how was I to know that was a wishing ring we found. Much less that it would take what I said out of character in real life as our wish and turn us into our characters. At least your still a guy and poor Tom isn't even human anymore.
Tengu: Squawk (Guys I don't think this is the right time for this.)
Finally one that'll also do as a fourth player for the group above.
Kobold: (Laugh at me for playing a kobold rogue will you just watch this bluff check.) Aeiii adventurers get them my bretheren.
My take is that the kobolds aren't actually attacking. They're arranged around the edge of our point of view because they've been shoved along the cave toward the exit by an expanding wall of a cube of force. The adventurers are trying to figure out what's going on. The dwarf is saying:
"Either mime is the new bard among kobolds, or things are about to get unpleasant..."
*Moves boulder aside from the cave entrance*
Tengu: Squawk! (Light spell and surprise that the Kobolds were in here.)
Dwarf: Hmmmmm I was right the boulder was not wedged in the hole; it was blocking it. (Dwarf being impressed with his stonecunning ignoring the obvious.)
Elf: Oops wrong cave. <whisper to the dwarf> Put the boulder back.