Greetings, dear readers! I know there's been a rash of these "So-and-So's Best Character Ever" blogs going around, but all of them have been lies. LIES! And on this most frabjous of days, I'm here to tell you which PACG character is actually the best. For real cats this time.
It's Ezren!!! If you know me, you probably saw that coming. I love old people, especially the curmudgeonly sorts. I can identify with them. If you don't know me, let me illustrate my point. When you sit down to play a cooperative game, are you there to make friends and help people? Oh, you are? That's lovely. Not me. I mean, it's kind of a miracle you got me to sit down to a cooperative game in the first place (how can I crush you if we're on the same team?), but you can bet if you did, I'm gonna be real Ezren about it.
What exactly does "be real Ezren about it" mean? Basically, I'm there to pick up some sweet spells, blow up some monster faces (I sure hope the number of faces to heads is a 1:1 ratio), and generally be a badass. I'm not there to give you a d4 when you need to do better, and I'm not there to cure you. You shouldn't need curing. Stop taking damage. Learn to be old and tough, like Ezren!
Have you checked out Ezren's card list? And starting powers? SPELL ALL THE THINGS! Choo choo magic train!!! If you set your deck up right and go to the right locations, you'll be an unstoppable exploration machine. And yeah, Ezren may have a couple allies, but let's be honest, he doesn't give a hoot who they are. He just needs them to get some more explorations in case cards that have the Magic trait are scarce. As far as Ezren is concerned, those "friends" can go right in the woodchipper.
And those roles! Add to your checks with spells! Add to your checks to get spells! Add to your checks to recharge your cards! BE UNSTOPPABLE. With a blast blast here and a blast blast there, here a blast, there a blast, everywhere a BOW TO EZREN, FOOLS! And if straight-up blasting isn't your style, there's always the tricksy illusion side of Ezren. Not to mention the roles you can get with the Wizard Class Deck version of Ezren. Ch-ch-ch-check 'em out!
So, I made a big fuss about Ezren not being here to make friends or help people and to me, he'll never be a grandfatherly-type wizard. But the Ezren from the Class decks is a little more friendly. Also, HAVE YOU SEEN THAT TRANSMOGRIFIER TRANSMOGRIFYING? That's not a monster, it's a teapot! Hand size 6? I think you mean hand size 10! This boon? NO! That boon! There's also that Hedge Wizard, the most helpful Ezren of all. That's right, I said it. Helpful Ezren. Ermahgerd. You know what that means, right? Ezrens helping Ezrens. COWER IN FEAR, MORTALS!
Another lovely aspect of Ezren is that he cares about blessings about as much as he cares about your feelings. Other characters rely on their blessings like amateurs rely on their queen during a chess game. Ain't nobody got time for gods, least of all Ezren. He's making up for lost time and exploring the world, and he won't get bogged down by deities or their zealots. Word on the street is that Ezren is making a comeback in Mummy's Mask, and that he might have some blessings this time around. Of course, he has no interest in Divine blessings.
Alright folks, you've spent enough time reading about why I think Ezren is the best. Now you should go get all the versions of Ezren you can get your hands on. (In case you were wondering, that's four—two roles from Runelords, and two from the Wizard Class Deck. YOU COULD BE FOUR DIFFERENT EZRENS ALL AT ONE TIME!) Why are you still sitting here? Get off my lawn, and go play some PACG!
Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch...
Some of the PACG folks were at Origins this past week. Wave to Tanis, Chad, Mike, and Paul, readers! They worked super hard all week and received some fancy loot! SHINY!
Anyway, we're real excited to have something that will allow us to make "it was Colonel Mustard, in the library, with the Vanguard Award" jokes. Thanks so much for all your support! Our game wouldn't be in the place it is without all of you... or without Ezren. We should probably all just thank Ezren for this. He is the best, after all.
Pathfinder Adventure Card Game Developer