CLAW OF THE CRAWLING SPELL
Aura: moderate transmutation
CL: 10th
Slot: hands
Price: 30,000 gp (one glove)
Weight: -
DESCRIPTION:
This glove is made of writhing tentacles blacker than the void between the stars and possesses otherworldly powers that violate the natural laws of this reality. By bending the rules of geometry, the claw of the crawling spell increases the reach of the wearer’s touch spells by 10 feet. This does not increase the area he threatens.
Three times per day, the wearer can warp reality by horizontally moving the area of effect of a non-instantaneous, non-permanent spell he had previously cast within 800 feet of him. Creatures in the path of the crawling spell effect are affected by the spell as if they were in the area of effect or the target of the crawling spell effect. If the spell effect is solid, it has a CMB equal to the spell’s caster level + the caster’s casting ability score modifier and it pushes back creatures if it beats their CMD or an object if it beats a CMD that is equal to 10 + the object’s break DC.
The distance the spell effect moves is determined by the action type the wearer uses to direct the spell. The wearer can move the spell effect 10 feet as a swift action, 20 feet as a move action, 30 feet as a standard action, or 60 feet as a full round action. Alternatively, the wearer can select a point within the spell effect and rotate the spell effect around that point 45 degrees as a swift action, 90 degrees as a move action, 180 degrees as a standard action, or 360 degrees as a full round action.
CONSTRUCTION:
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, spectral hand, telekinesis
Cost: 15,000 gp
Hmmmm...interesting thoughts went into this concept of moving spells around. As described, I think they went a bit overboard with it. Just assessing it is a nightmare of having to think through every potential game balance issue that could arise from moving specific spell effects around so easily.
However, there's a lot going on with this thing. Warping reality to do something interesting with a spell's placement is an idea with some mojo to it. The mechanical openness of what the item allows overreaches, in my opinion. It's interesting enough just to have an item that increases the reach of your touch spells (without affecting your actual physical reach). That's kind of novel in and of itself. But to then let you redirect areas of effect on non-instanteous battlefield control spells jumps the shark, I think. And letting someone do that 3 times per day also feels a little extreme, as you know someone will make a character especially suited to abuse this item and then trot it out in at least 3 combats per adventuring day.
I'm not all that interested in this one with the can of worms it opens. And that's too bad, because I have a feeling there's probably a designer behind this item with some pretty crafty ideas and mojo. They just haven't learned to harness them yet.
Also, they still need to work on the proper presentation of the wondrous item template. Every element of an item's statistics shouldn't appear on a separate line. In addition, this item is a single glove. What happens if you're wearing two of them? Do you get to then warp reality and move spells around 6 times per day? That would certainly go too far.
Vote to Reject.
This is a pair of metamagic feats in a can. However, neither of those feats exists in the game. Ordinarily I would give this item a pass even though the actual feats aren't in the rules because it's so clear that the effects are extensions of that system - and metamagic feats are supposed to go into rods.
However I'm going to advocate in favor of this design because of how well the designer worked through various issues and ensured that there would be few questions that players and GMs might have to answer when the item is used. That shows me the designer has a great grasp of the game system and I'd like to see more in future rounds of the contest.
I recommend that you vote for this designer.
I want to like this. I like the core idea. I read it last night and didnt comment because I was grumpy and thought I would unfairly criticize the entries. But I like this idea.
That said, oh my word if there isnt some confusing presentation here.
I guess this is how I feel: this submission has issues, but I like the creativity behind it enough to want to keep it around and maybe see what he can do.
KEEP
I'm going to disagree with you guys. In my opinion, the poor execution of this (despite an interesting idea) is an indication this designer isn't ready yet. He's close. Maybe. But this is one of those situations where I think the idea isn't fully formed yet...or the designer just hasn't put together the means to effectively communicate it. That's a failing large enough that I'm not convinced this guy would grow sufficiently enough or quickly enough over the course of the competition to come out "ready" on the other side for an opportunity to start freelancing right away. Maybe I'm wrong. It's just a gut feeling I have. Regardless, I can see why you both like the core idea. I think I do, too. Just not enough to push this one into the Keep pile right now. I think if we Reject this guy, we give him a lot of coaching in our critiques and encourage him to come back strong next time.
Neil, I see what you are saying and I agree with you 99%. Maybe I am being a bit lax, but this has some creativity. Plus, I like the name. I thought it was going to be something else (that I thought would be lame, like a crawling touch attack delivery item) and then it turned out to be cooler than that.
I think this item is a cool idea, but its execution needs work. This designer is going to have to put in some extra effort to keep up in the later rounds of the competition.
Keep.
I'm in agreement that it deserves keeping around. Someone might want to "golden ticket" this one. Or, as you say, it could come across as a source of inspiration and encouragement if we can at least tell the author he made the Keep folder for a brief bit, but we needed to see a little more from him in terms of execution.
A glove of non-euclidian geometry? Yes please. Let's see what you have going on with this glove:
The glove increases the wearer's reach when using spells with range touch. That's very similar to the sorcerer's aberrant bloodline. It's an interesting ability, but nothing really new yet.
Then we get down to business: moving and rotating spells (and bull rushing creatures with a wall of force). I think that this is a very cool idea, but not necessarily the best idea to bring to the table. This glove is going to cause a lot of questions (and maybe even a few arguments) simply because it covers such a broad array of spell effects.
Congratulations on making it through to the Top 32! I think that you may be a very exciting designer to watch. I bet that you have a whole bunch of innovative ideas. Just work on the presentation and implementation of those ideas.
What I like:
While I'm sure I've seen items & effects that involve increasing the range of touch spells or playing with areas of effect, I really like the flavor this one brings to the table; weird alien geometries and the like. Neat stuff.
What I love:
And while I have definitely seen things playing around with areas of effect, I've never seen one that works quite like this; I especially like that you're able to turn a wall of force/stone/whatever into a battering ram or a bull rush attempt. That's quite clever. I d, however, question the mechanics of moving them- see below for that.
What needs a little sumptin' sumptin'...
So... you can choose what sort of action you use to move the spell. I'm sure someone's already brought up 'action economy' and the like, but I personally don't mind that as much. I do, however, feel like it over complicates the item a bit. And assuming I'm using a wall of stone to push someone over a cliff, when exactly does that take effect? If it's moving 60 feet and I take a full round action for it, presumably the bull rush attempt happens at the start of my next action, thus giving them that full round to get out of the way? Okay, that might be a really extreme borderline case, but it's just one of the first issues that came to mind. In spite of the fact that I don't mind items that (within reasonable limit) can use varying action lengths, I think this might have been stronger if you'd kept it to a flat standard action & 30 feet.
Also, I think the 10' ranged touch spell as an always on effect is a little much; I think that could have been x/day uses as well.
All in all...
This is a fun, eldritch abomination themed item that does some really creative stuff. The execution of the stuff it can do probably needs some tweaking before I'd be 100% comfortable introducing it into a game, but it's strong enough on the ever-elusive mojo that I doubt I'd mind the tweaking. I think you definitely earned a place in this contest; can't wait to see what else you've got in your head. Congratulations and welcome to RPG Superstar!
This item is novel, useful, and the rules are detailed and well thought-out - even if the signature spellcrawling ability here feels a little more like a feat or prestige class ability than a wondrous item.
This designer created two superstar-quality item abilities and attached them together. Your creativity and rules knowledge is clearly quite strong, but in future rounds consider how to make an entry feel elegant by stripping out everything that doesn't directly serve its purpose.
I think of my poor-poor map-drawing whiteboard, and all the headaches this would cause. But then, I think of being a player and wanting to use this item. I also note that your wording suggests to me you have to use a separate action to warp the geometry around your touch spells.
So, my feelings on it are complicated. I think you might have something cool up your sleeve though, so I'll be interested to see what you play next round.
You used flavor that I absolutely adore. Writhing monstrocity from beyond sanity and the cold, soul draining voice of the Dark Tapestry.
Fun!
How you describe the effects, violating the laws of nature, to basically pull off a couple of things that should be metamagic feats, is just gravy.
I'm an easy sell with any Cthulhu-esque flavor. I agree that it would cause some headaches at the table for less geometrically inclined folks, but the tactical uses of spells are endless I'd imagine.
More Weird Tales inspired submissions, I say!
I'm not completely sold on the name of the item, but I certainly like reading the description. There's a Lovecraftian horror aspect about this which I appreciate.
I didn't recognize your name at first from the blog post, but once I saw the alias, I recognized you immediately. I've been following a lot of your class builds and other numerous conversions and homebrew items you've posted over the years in those respective forums, so it's nice to see you finally make a dent into the Top 32, Dan! I'm looking forward to see what you'll be bringing for the next round. \mXm/
Dan, glad to see the man behind this. It's one of my favorites this year & I've long been a fan of your work on the homebrew forum, so I am REALLY looking forward to see what you bring to this year's superstar table.
It's a shame that in this year there won't be archetype to design. Which means that Epic Meepo will have a slight edge in the 3rd round ;)
SmiloDan! You made the cut! Awesome!!!! Congrats.
Thanks!!! I'm really excited!!! :-D
Cool!
A friend of mine though of something with a similar theme, but this is even better. I can imagine balance issues, but this item scores a 10 in coolness.
I'm really loving the flavor of the item. Being able to warp the effects of reality to increase the power of one's magic is a great idea.
The block of text describing the actual mechanics really through me off though. I had to read it through a couple-three times to really get the gist of it. I was dying for a concrete example (i.e. "For example, a wall of force can be...). That, and having to decide what type of action to use to determine how far it moves just seems overly complex. I think just using a move action to move it X feet/rotate it X degrees would have been fine, and would have left enough words for a brief example.
That said, congratulations Dan, and good job.
Congratulations Dan,
I am especially glad to see one of the regulars get in! I think you had lots of play-tests where you asked your players to break this, as you have everything nailed down pretty tightly. Good design knowledge. Good luck.
This is a very novel idea! It's very bold to look at such a complex effect, and clearly it's a popular idea. As a player, my imagination goes wild with possibilities.
Thinking as a GM, however, I got very panicky when I read the description. I tried to process those same possibilities from the perspective of control and failed. It would have to be looked at extensively before I would be comfortable introducing it in my game. Some limitations might be a good idea, but I can't specify.
... But I'd probably be tempted to include it anyway, because it's dang cool. If I had publishing power and this item was proposed to me, I'd want to collaborate and find a way to make it work.
This is the kind of innovative idea that gets me excited about development. Keep it up!
Ant Health Warning: this year, I really worked hard on technical execution of my item, so these reviews will likely reflect template use. Brace yourselves for the template fu - it can sting.
Template Use: 5/10
Hold on a sec, template fu just had apoplexy - grin.
Ok, here goes...
Minus 3 cos the bits are all split into separate lines (it works out about minus 1 per line) :)
See Round 1 Template Explained near the bottom of this page is version 4.5 of the post (which is still being developed), the formatting is complete though and may help.
Minus 1 for lack of semicolons too - see the formatting again in that thread above.
finally, template fu squeaks and hides from the big bright all capitals name for another -1.
All of these are fixable though with a little work.
Slot affinity: 9/10
I see in my mind the old "Evards Black Tentacles" sprouting from the glove fingers to deliver those touch spells rather than warping reality, so in my game, it may get changed to that visual affect, but as it's touch based effects, the hand affinity is strong with this one as it is. I like that a lot.
Abuseability: 8/10
Touch spells tend to be touch for a reason, so although I was comfortable with the 10 foot extension, going beyond that made me increasingly uncomfortable - its a personal feeling, others may disagree. But for me and my view of game balance, I docked a couple points for over extension. You might have considered 5 and 10 feet options which I would have been confortablke with but touch at 30 feet turns all those touchy healing spells into undead hurting ranged spells.
Desirability: 7/10
As a priest in an undead strong game - gimme gimme gimme.
Originality: 9/10
This one just appeals to me on the visuals so strongly. Very nice, I have to score high again here.
Ant Score: 38/50 (76%)
I'm standing in the fuddy-duddy corner with Neil on this one. While the idea is cool and the mechanics are pretty well-thought-out, I just feel that moving an area of effect around is too big a break with the normal rules -- you didn't give, nor could you have given, enough detailed rules content to adjudicate everything that will result from having this item in a campaign. If nothing else, I expected the familiar double-dipping clause: "no backing over people with your spell once it's already hit them," or something to that effect. I'm also curious about some miscellanea like spells with no proper Area entry (e.g., cloudkill) and spells that are cones or emanations from the caster (can I move their points of origin away from me? out of LOE?).
I second Sam in thinking that this spell-moving effect really wants a prestige class to give it full explication. You did this as well as it could be done given the word count, but I've still got questions.
I'll also be the sole voice of dissent on the flavor. I like cosmic horror, but I don't think there's anything horrific, alien or subtle about this item. It's a glove that moves spell effects around. That's a neat, fiddly mechanical idea that doesn't quite seem right for the Lovecraft vibe, for me. I'd rather have seen a Clenched Gauntlet of the Cackling Mage Lord here, just to suit the over-the-top image of big area effects getting thrown around the battlefield.
tl;dr I think you put 10 lbs. of mojo in a 5 lbs. bag on this one, and it got too messy for my tastes. Congrats on the win, and good luck.
Nicely, done, a little unweildy trying to get all the dynamics in under word count but creative and most importantly, innovative.
With the rep you have on these boards people will be expecting a lot from you so gear up and good luck!
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By bending the rules of geometry, the claw of the crawling spell increases the reach of the wearer’s touch spells by 10 feet. This does not increase the area he threatens.
Is the user, or, his hand, at least, considered to be temporarily occuying the space he's 'touching' for the purposes of dangerous effects? (Like presence of a wall of fire or acid fog.) Similarly, although it's based off of spectral hand, it 'feels' to me more like an Aberrant Sorcerer's long limbs power, which would result in the glove-weilder counting as touching a creature for the purposes of spell delivery, possibly resulting in damage, if the target touched had some sort of damaging effect on those touching it (like a balor's flaming body).
Since I'm seeing this more as a space-warping effect than a necromancy effect, I'd go with alter self or some sort of teleportation effect like dimension door or something (ye olde distance distortion would have been my choice, had it survived to 3rd edition...), instead of spectral hand.
Three times per day, the wearer can warp reality by horizontally moving the area of effect of a non-instantaneous, non-permanent spell he had previously cast within 800 feet of him.
Love, love, love the creativity that can go into this effect. It feels a little '1st edition-y,' in that a creative use of this could utterly change the dynamics of an encounter and that, instead of just doing X damage to space Y, it can have all sorts of wild effects depending on how much thought it put into its use.
The range seems odd, 'though. Yes, telekinesis at CL 10 would indeed by 800 ft., but magic items seem to ignore that sort of precise accuracy, and go their own way on exact mechanics.
First, congratulations on making the top 32, and good luck with the coming rounds!
Your item:
First Impression "Claw"... "Crawling Spell", okay, sounds weird, but why not. I don't like the imagery I'm getting but that's personal. I think the effect looks well-described, but I'm not sure it's well-balanced...
Analysis
Name: I'm not a fan. It's simple and it tells me approximately what your item does, but it doesn't give me anything much beyond that. So they main negative is that, honestly, I just don't like it.
Template: It's been said, but too many line changes in the top does look annoying. That's the only one that springs into my eyes enough to bother me though.
Description: Your language is fairly clear on what your item does, which is good since you have some fairly complex things going on. I understand it all though, and nothing makes the (very evil) grammar sense scream.
Effect: I'm not overly impressed. It's useful, but I like that touch range is limited. And it's not like spectral hand, can't fix the issue if it's critical.
The telekinesis area-spell-moving effect is were you get your innovation points, and I'd say you get quite a few of those. That said, I don't know if you go a little too far. (Compares to area changing feats). Hmm. Well, it's a neat idea. I might have preferred something other than i]telekinesis[/i] for requirement.
Price: Hmm, yeah I can accept that price for what it does, but I'm not really sure it'll get bought that often. A cheaper, touch extending item will be preferable to many, and the other effect is just a little too strange for me to be quite sure about how it should be priced.
Overall Yikes, it happened again! I must have been negatively inclined when I first look at this, because it doesn't bother me as much this time. You're not making my favourite list, but make a good organization, and you might get yourself a vote.
Good luck!
You need to work on the name. You almost lost me there.
Ok, so now we get a Lovecraftian horror item. I dislike Lovecraft flavor, so you lose me a little there, too. But you write it well, so that is a plus.
Next up we have the first ability. A nerfed metamagic rod of reach spell, but with some minor distincitons. Its not ranged, so you still use str. Its only +10 to your base reach, so 15 for most, instead of 20. It works for all your touch spells, instead of charges like a rod, which is a huge benefit. Overall, I feel the item is priced in the right ballpark for these abilities, but this is not the seller. There is little special here.
You lose me on the second ability. My first reaction was wtf, followed by ok, thats neat, finished with omg that is broken at any price. There are so many ways to abuse this that its not even funny. I mean, what 15th level wizard wouldn't want to bull rush with his Prismatic Wall.
Finally, I really disliked the variable distance based off of action type.
As a wizard, I would pay all my money at any level for this item. Its that broken.
There are some gaps in logic and exploitable holes in your explanation of this item that give me great pause as a GM - but I can't deny that the idea at its core is very very cool. Approval kitty approves!
Makes me think of the Hounds of Tindalos, which is awesome. The description and the writing is just tons of fun and creepy, something that would keep a character on his toes every time he uses the object. I love magic items that perform a function, but seem slightly dangerous or sinister in description (if not effect on the user).
Superb stuff, and best of luck!
Originally, this was going to be the Claw of the Crawling Pit, and only affect pit spells (create pit, spiked pit, acid pit, hungry pit), but that seemed a bit limited and super specialized. Then I thought about letting it only affect Conjuration (creation) spells, so it would be usable with grease and black tentacles.
Can you imagine being chased by a mass of black tentacles???
But then I figured it would be easier, and probably eat up less words, to just let it affect all non-instantaneous and non-permanent area of effect spells. Maybe that was too much, but I think it would be FUN to swing a wall of fire around, or re-position a tiny hut, etc. etc.
But then I figured it would be easier, and probably eat up less words, to just let it affect all non-instantaneous and non-permanent area of effect spells. Maybe that was too much, but I think it would be FUN to swing a wall of fire around, or re-position a tiny hut, etc. etc.
I really enjoy items that can change the battlefield in surprising, unexpected ways, and your item does that wonderfully. This type of item is great, because of the reactions it can engender with players, and the kind of creativity that players will inevitably apply to it.
Cool idea but I think it just does too much. The first effect is cool enough for me. The writing seemed a bit over the top too. I was waiting to see, "the glove steals your VERY SOUL!!!". I don't really like the name.
Good luck in round 2!
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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This item definitely has a lot of mojo, Dan! This is something I could see a lot of spellcasters choosing, and it has a great visual going for it.
I certainly hope you can continue this with your organization. Congratulations!
Hey Dan, I agree a bit with those who've said that maybe the item does too much. I think the first application could certainly be useful for anyone, but it's the second that I think got you into the competition.
I think I probably would have limited it to standard or full actions to move it, though, since otherwise it just feels too powerful. As is, I could move it to effectively hit someone with a spell for a second time and still cast another spell, which just seems to break the economy of actions rules.
Give those small tweaks, though, I think it's a really cool idea there.
I like pushing the economy of actions envelope. I think there should be more swift and immediate actions, especially for lower level characters or for non-spellcasters (which my item obviously doesn't help--oops!).
The description struck me as a bit overblown, but the utility of this item extending beyond simple extension of spell reach really grabbed my attention. The majority of my casters who like getting bang for their spell-buck would definitely want one of these.
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Congrats on Top 32!
Any players in my game who wanted to use this item would also have to invest in some spell templates or make sure we as a group had them handy, but besides that concern I really love this item's flavor and abilities. I for one love me some Dark Tapestry / Lovecraftian stuff (my item entry last year was themed to that effect but fell short of the mark yours has hit).
Looking forward to your future entries. Best of luck to you, sir!
CLAW OF THE CRAWLING SPELL
Aura: moderate transmutation
CL: 10th
Slot: hands
Price: 30,000 gp (one glove)
Weight: -DESCRIPTION:
This glove is made of writhing tentacles blacker than the void between the stars and possesses otherworldly powers that violate the natural laws of this reality. By bending the rules of geometry, the claw of the crawling spell increases the reach of the wearer’s touch spells by 10 feet. This does not increase the area he threatens.
Three times per day, the wearer can warp reality by horizontally moving the area of effect of a non-instantaneous, non-permanent spell he had previously cast within 800 feet of him. Creatures in the path of the crawling spell effect are affected by the spell as if they were in the area of effect or the target of the crawling spell effect. If the spell effect is solid, it has a CMB equal to the spell’s caster level + the caster’s casting ability score modifier and it pushes back creatures if it beats their CMD or an object if it beats a CMD that is equal to 10 + the object’s break DC.
The distance the spell effect moves is determined by the action type the wearer uses to direct the spell. The wearer can move the spell effect 10 feet as a swift action, 20 feet as a move action, 30 feet as a standard action, or 60 feet as a full round action. Alternatively, the wearer can select a point within the spell effect and rotate the spell effect around that point 45 degrees as a swift action, 90 degrees as a move action, 180 degrees as a standard action, or 360 degrees as a full round action.
CONSTRUCTION:
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, spectral hand, telekinesis
Cost: 15,000 gp
Disclaimer:
Note:
Fair is foul and foul is fair supposedly . Basically, though, does this item have any useful application in a spa?
The whole 'writhing tentacles blacker than the void between the stars' appearance is going to get a wearer comments (and sniggers) about what sort of skin complaint they have (whether observers realise it's a glove or not), so no this item is not going to be very useful in a spa.
Assuming for a moment that it’s more convenient to pay taxes than to circumvent the system, does this item look likely to be a tax-deductible business expense for a succubus art-dealer?
Most spell-fixtures on a premises which might otherwise be manipulated are either going to be instantaneous or permanent, therefore useless to a possessor of such a glove. I do not consider this item tax-deductible for an art-dealer. Now on the other hand, for the occasional succubus who goes into the 'pest control' field with a penchant for cloudkill magic, I could recommend this item...
Is the item useful in a strawberries-and-cream-tea context?
It depends on how it handles, but almost certainly, oh yes. I'll leave it to your imagination to fill in the details though. Try not to scream too loudly, please.
Other Comments?
There is no such thing as 'under-costed', except in the context of items harmful (by design) against succubi. Therefore it is impossible for this potentially unbelievably powerful item to be under-costed.
Gollum Rating:
Dan! It's really cool to see that familiar snarly wolf face with your name next to it up here in the top 32! I'm way late in commenting on a lot of these, so let's not delay any further...
What I Like
This is a unique concept, and I feel like it fills a niche that was begging for something like this.
While I feel like the whole eldritch abomination flavor is a little over-used lately, I like your description, and it certainly fits the item nicely!
Needs Improvement
I'm just going to add: It might be cool to be able to move other casters spell effects too, make it an opposed caster level check.
How I Feel About You as an Opponent
You're a popular guy on the forums, and that in itself is a powerful thing indeed! This is a strong item, so I feel like you'll be a strong competitor in future rounds.
Thanks a lot!!!! :-D