Before I put anything in here, let me ask if it's OK. I think this could be worth something, but I don't want to gum up the works.
This thread is intended for posting ideas you thought of, actually developed to some extent, and in the end didn't use, along with an explanation of why you rejected your own concept. If you haven't already submitted something else, be absolutely 100% sure that you're not going to come back around to use the idea or anything like it!
I can see reasons the Paizo folks might not want this kind of discussion while submissions are open; so nobody actually post here until someone official gives the nod, please. :)
It's probably best to not discuss this sort of thing until the round is closed; I don't want anyone thinking someone used a rejected idea from another person.
A similar question came up last year. You can read why the judges and Paizo asked people to refrain from that in the Almost-Also Ran Entries thread. But it's pretty much the exact same reason Sean just cited.
It's probably best to not discuss this sort of thing until the round is closed; I don't want anyone thinking someone used a rejected idea from another person.
Precisely why I asked... right then, let it lie until the 2nd!
In fact, I'm going to go ahead and lock this thread just to be extra cautious.
Chief Technical Officer
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In fact, I'm going to go ahead and lock this thread just to be extra cautious.
As the submission period is now over, I've unlocked the thread. You may fire when ready.
Remember, this is for posting items you *didn't* submit. Posting items you *did* submit will get you disqualified.
Let's get things rolling then...
Here is the item I chose NOT to enter.
Aura moderate divination, faint illusion; CL 10th
Slot headband; Price 16,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
This black headband is inscribed with deep blue magical runes and has a single onyx in its center. It grants the wearer a +2 competence bonus to stealth and perception.
Each headband is linked with a small mirror. Using a command word, either the wearer of the headband or the possessor of the mirror can make the mirror show whatever the wearer of the headband is seeing, with the full visual acuity of the wearer, including any magical effects. The possessor of the mirror can do this even if the headband is worn by an animal or monster. This power functions as long as both items are on the same plane of existence and can be used for up to ten minutes per day. The minutes do not need to be consecutive.
If the mirror and the headband are within 200 feet of each other, the wearer of the headband can communicate with the possessor of the mirror at will, as if using message. The possessor of the mirror may reply as described in the spell, but cannot initiate contact.
The headband must be worn for either connection to be formed, and does not function if the wearer is dead or unconscious.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, arcane eye, cat’s grace, message; Cost 8,000 gp
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I abandoned this before I did a full edit, but I wouldn't have changed too much:
Transcendent Bloom
Aura moderate divination and transmutation; CL 11th
Slot –; Price 40,000 gp; Weight –
Description
Once per day this beautiful crystal rose allows its owner to speak with an animal, plant, or natural stone for 10 minutes, limited by the target’s ability to understand its surroundings. The transcendent bloom whispers of its gift of enlightenment each time its owner uses this ability, and many who use the flower succumb to the temptation to use the rose’s ultimate power.
The owner may grant sentience to an animal, plant, or natural stone by placing the rose on the target and willing the rose to expend its magic, which causes it to transform from its crystal representation into an actual flower. The newly enlightened creature gains Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores of 11 or +2 to an ability score already at or above 11, and it regards the owner as friendly, but it will not necessarily follow orders from the owner. The transcendent bloom does not need to remain with its target creature, but it only grants enlightenment for 24 hours, after which the target reverts to its former state and the flower withers away.
Due to the target’s awareness of its fading sentience as the transcendent bloom’s power fades, many druids find the use of the rose’s signature power distasteful and work to dissuade their fellows from creating any.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, awaken, speak with animals, speak with plants, stone tell; Cost 20,000 gp.
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Aura weak enchantment; CL 3rd
Slot -; Price 12,000 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
DESCRIPTION
Once this painting is hung on a wall, anyone who looks at it must make a Will Save (DC 14) or laugh for 1d6 rounds, losing all other actions. Anyone who succeeds at their will save will not be affected by the painting again for 24 hours.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements craft wondrous item, hideous laughter, craft (paint); Cost 6000 gp
Here are my notes for the items I did not submit, with commentary on why I didn't go with that idea in spoilers after each. I never got as far as an actual stat block for any of them before I hit the concept for the item I submitted.
Puzzle box - stores one item, creature, or spell, to open requires intelligence check = intelligence check made when the item/spell was stored
Magic Harness - pacifies any creature that wears it, can be harnessed to any Small - Huge creature with three consecutive successful grapple checks
Seaskimmer's Sails - constant gust of wind or control winds (research!), resize to fit, 5 hp hardness 15
Let's get things rolling then...
Here is the item I chose NOT to enter.
This is an interesting item, although the idea of an animal or a monster wearing a headband seems kinda funny.
Yeah, it was intended to give a druid or ranger the opportunity to use their animal companion as a scout - obviously, there is a need for clarification on which animals can wear the headbeand and which can't.
I would probably have removed the sentence about animals and monsters if I had picked this item to submit.
This idea was taken from a campaign I am currently running. A druid in the party wanted a way to take prisoners for questioning rather than killing everything in sight and I came up with this idea. Hopefully this isn't the item I should have submitted...
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot – ; Price 27,600 gp; Weight 1/4 lbs.
This mottled crimson and ochre colored fruit was harvested from a carnivorous vine and bears a ghostly silver druidic glyph traced across its exterior. The fruit is covered in small hooked barbs and appears ready to burst as something slithers under its swollen, pregnant skin.
Once per day, the possessor may make a ranged touch attack by throwing this fruit at a creature. If this attack is successful the barbed fruit hooks onto its target, breaks open, and fast growing vines immediately entangle the creature. On subsequent rounds, if still entangling the creature, the vines will constrict and deal D6+6 nonlethal damage to the creature attempting to make it pass out from lack of oxygen. Track the nonlethal damage taken by the creature and apply the staggered and/or unconscious conditions as appropriate. This item has no effect on creatures that do not need to breathe.
The entangled creature may attempt to break free from the vines by making a DC 25 Strength or Escape Artist check. An entangling embrace of the earth mother has AC 22, 16 hit points, and damage reduction 5/slashing. If all 16 hit points are lost to damage the item is destroyed.
If the ranged touch attack misses, the creature escapes or goes unconscious, or the effect is canceled the vines cease to entangle and constrict their target. One new fruit bearing the druidic glyph can be found and harvested in this mass of now inert vegetation. This harvested fruit cannot be used until the next day.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, bull's strength, entangle, plant growth; Cost 13,800 gp
Personally I quite liked your Puzzle box, but as you say it might all too easily have been considered a literal 'spell in a can', which would have been bad in several quite different ways.
Yeah, I quite liked the item (possibly even more than the one I submitted, although I really like it too). It was conceived as both a secure message delivery system and a nasty surprise for hoards. It could contain, in stasis, any creature of up to Huge size, any object under a certain weight, or any spell; when successfully opened, the creature or object re-appeared adjacent to the opener, while the spell would be targeted on the opener. Thinking of it now, it'd also be really useful for Cavaliers and other mounted combatants to take their steeds with them through narrow passageways, up cliffs, etc.
I could have just cut the spell storage option to eliminate direct 'spell in a can' complaints, but that's compromising the integrity of the item, and in any case I still don't think I could have written it up in 300 words. I originally conceptualized the idea for last year's contest, and I know it won't fit in 200 words.
Aura weak enchantment; CL 3rd
Slot -; Price 12,000 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
DESCRIPTION
Once this painting is hung on a wall, anyone who looks at it must make a Will Save (DC 14) or laugh for 1d6 rounds, losing all other actions. Anyone who succeeds at their will save will not be affected by the painting again for 24 hours.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements craft wondrous item, hideous laughter, craft (paint); Cost 6000 gp
Mind if I use that for a Trap in an adventure? I love traps like this that many people wouldn't normally look out for, and may infact think of first and foremost as treasure. Got just the place for it... in the Head Monk's room in a monastry for 'vow of silence' types, so the laughter is all the alarm spell I need...
Incidentally, I can see why you wouldn't submit it (more complex trap than wonderous item, PCs unlikely to use etc.) but I wouldn't call it a 'gag' item necessarily.
Entangling Embrace of the Earth Mother
Given that it's a fruit, and rather a horrible one, I'd love to know what would happen if someone were to eat it.
Anyway, here's the item I didn't submit:
Aura faint divination, moderate evocation; CL 5th
Slot – ; Price 12,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This fist sized lump of sandstone has been carved into the rough semblance of a human head, with two bright blue chips of sapphire for eyes. Whenever it is brought into a sacred or profane place, such as a temple, a consecrated/desecrated area, or a site of regular worship, the idol's eyes turn jet black and it whispers the name of the site's patron deity, if it has one.
Holding an idol of the apostate in the hand allows the bearer to detect traces of divine power. This power is usable at will and functions like detect evil, except that it detects the auras of divine spellcasters, spells, and objects, and the user is vulnerable to overwhelming divine auras from these things. If an idol is used to view a deity directly, it screams and shatters.
Finally, an idol of the apostate may be invoked once per month as a full-round action when in a sacred or profane place. Doing so severs the site's divine connection, as described in the secondary function of consecrate. Also, if the site is consecrated or desecrated, that spell is automatically dispelled. If the site is hallowed or unhallowed, all effects of the hallow or unhallow are suppressed for one hour.
An idol of the apostate requires an offering of a vial of holy or unholy water once per month, which is poured over it and absorbed into the sandstone. If deprived of its monthly offering, it will cease functioning until it receives one.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, consecrate or desecrate, detect chaos/evil/good/law, creator must have 5 ranks in Knowledge: religion; Cost 6,000 gp
Let's get things rolling then...
Here is the item I chose NOT to enter.
Interesting. Certainly not a bad item. It's also a little different from many of the scrying items in that it requires two entities to use it properly. Heh. I kinda wrinkled my nose at the notion of an animal wearing a headband.. maybe a talisman perhaps? I only say that because I've seen Paizo put amulets around the necks of animals and monsters, but never headbands.
It's cool in that I could see my players using it. The rogue loves to scout ahead, and the wizard is usually way in the back.
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Aura weak enchantment; CL 3rd
Slot -; Price 12,000 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
DESCRIPTION
Once this painting is hung on a wall, anyone who looks at it must make a Will Save (DC 14) or laugh for 1d6 rounds, losing all other actions. Anyone who succeeds at their will save will not be affected by the painting again for 24 hours.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements craft wondrous item, hideous laughter, craft (paint); Cost 6000 gpMind if I use that for a Trap in an adventure? I love traps like this that many people wouldn't normally look out for, and may infact think of first and foremost as treasure. Got just the place for it... in the Head Monk's room in a monastry for 'vow of silence' types, so the laughter is all the alarm spell I need...
Incidentally, I can see why you wouldn't submit it (more complex trap than wonderous item, PCs unlikely to use etc.) but I wouldn't call it a 'gag' item necessarily.
Feel free to use it.
When I said it wasn't a serious item, I meant it was not actually an idea I seriously considered submitting (if for no other reason than I had submitted earlier). I didn't necessarily mean it was a gag item. My boy had just been reading Foxtrot and giggling over it before we started our "class" on making a wondrous item and it just sort of popped into my head.
Transcendent Bloom
Incidentally, I'm not focusing on the pricing and smaller details as much as an overview.
There were a lot of cool ideas in here Taig. I certainly think you could have salvaged something out of this.
My concerns here are that for this price, the object or creature should be permanently awakened if the Bloom is going to be utterly consumed. That doesn't seem out of line with the price, since the awaken spell itself is permanent.
I think you were slipping a little too much background in it as well, specifically with the last sentence. I see your point, but I'd let the individual GM make that determination on how druids would react, as this is probably an item only a druid could make.
Nice riff on Flowers for Algernon though!
Stuff
I agree with Charles, the Puzzle Box would have been interesting to see. Though all in all, since you had an even better item I think you made the best call by going with that.
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Contributor
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Transcendent Bloom
Incidentally, I'm not focusing on the pricing and smaller details as much as an overview.
There were a lot of cool ideas in here Taig. I certainly think you could have salvaged something out of this.
My concerns here are that for this price, the object or creature should be permanently awakened if the Bloom is going to be utterly consumed. That doesn't seem out of line with the price, since the awaken spell itself is permanent.
I think you were slipping a little too much background in it as well, specifically with the last sentence. I see your point, but I'd let the individual GM make that determination on how druids would react, as this is probably an item only a druid could make.
Nice riff on Flowers for Algernon though!
Thanks for the critique, Watcher. I had fun with the item, and I was really jazzed about the Flowers for Algernon inspiration, but I ultimately decided that the judges might be negatively influenced by it. That, and I was worried it wouldn't have enough "mojo".
If I were to submit this for, say, the Pathfinder Database site, I would definitely revisit the costing to fit the shortened duration, and I would tone down the background material.
Thanks again!
For what it's worth, I think that's a really cool item. Very unique both conceptually and mechanically. Whether or not it's actually useful is very campaign-dependent so I can see how for the purpose of this contest it might not be the best submission, I'm definitely rooting for you to advance. :)
So my own non-submissions... the first one actually began as a puzzle box! Zurai, maybe we'll get lucky and that'll be this year's common trope, meaning we both dodged the bullet. ;) I wanted to do something slightly different with it, and it wound up being more of a really cool set piece than a wondrous item, which is why I didn't submit it.
Aura moderate transmutation and divination; CL 7th
Slot —; Price 8,400 gp; Weight 3,000 lbs.
This long, well-decorated stone box would seem appropriate for interring a Medium-sized humanoid, and often bears the sculpted likeness of a king or hero to further that impression. Occasionally these devices do serve as caskets for the venerated dead, but more often they safeguard rare texts, saint-touched items and other holy relics.
In truth, a reliquary coffin consists of a veneer of sculpted stone over a steel box, one inch thick on all sides. The coffin is sealed and seamless, but by laying hands firmly upon it and speaking a command phrase, the lid separates and slides open. A push causes the lid to slide shut and seal again, unless obstructed. A reliquary coffin will not damage any creatures or objects while opening or closing.
The command phrase for a reliquary coffin is always a factual statement about the speaker, usually an affirmation of faith and devotion to the diety whose relics are contained within. The coffin does not open unless the pledge is true and honest in the mind of the individual speaking the words. If the command phrase is spoken falsely, steel spikes momentarily burst forth from the coffin, impaling all creatures within 5 feet (Atk +10 melee, 1d6+6 damage). Because one must touch the coffin to activate it, the speaker is always within reach of these spikes.
A reliquary coffin has hardness 10 and 30 hit points. If not destroyed, it repairs 1 hit point of damage per hour. Any attempt to damage the coffin also results in a burst of spikes, though not more than once per round.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, discern lies, fabricate; Cost 4,200 gp
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This one got a consistent "ooh, neat" reaction but wasn't anyone's favorite. I think it's a pretty solid single-use item, with a lot of potential utility; but for such a straightforward effect it sure took a lot of text, and this is after significant pruning. There were just too many obvious what-ifs attached.
Aura moderate transmutation and evocation; CL 6th
Slot —; Price 1,500 gp; Weight 1 lb.
This polished hematite sphere is 2 inches across. If placed on a solid earth or stone surface and rolled 5 feet, it glows white-hot and accelerates of its own accord, traveling up to 120 feet in a flash before it is consumed. The magma seed moves only horizontally when activated. The surface over which it passes, including the 5 feet required for activation, churns and boils into a corridor of lava 15 feet wide and 1 foot deep. (For lava effects, see Pathfinder RPG Core Rules, page 444.) A creature in this area but within 5 feet of an empty, unaffected square can attempt a DC 17 reflex save to jump to safety. The lava pool remains for one minute before solidifying. For one minute thereafter, the magmatic surface will ignite flammable materials on contact and deals 1d6 fire damage if touched with bare flesh.
An activated magma seed ignores flammable barriers. It tunnels through earth and stone, leaving a circular passage 5 feet in diameter. Lava pools on the floor of this tunnel, as above. The magma seed can melt through common metals, but every inch of metal reduces the distance it will travel by 5 feet. Mithral, adamantine, or a wall of force or similar effect will block a magma seed. Water or ice in its path are instantly boiled if the volume encountered is less than a 5 foot cube, but a greater volume causes the magma seed to explode, dealing 3d6 fire damage and 3d6 piercing damage to any creature within 10 feet; a DC 17 reflex save halves this damage.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, flaming sphere, transmute rock to mud; Cost 750 gp
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I liked this next one a lot. One of my friends rated it as his favorite. If Clinton Boomer were a judge this year, based on some comments he made on previous items, I think I might have submitted it... but he's not, and I'm less certain of how the other judges would react. Basically, to some people this item is bursting with flavor; but that flavor is "dryly pragmatic librarian-wizard," so I felt it might not have the general-appeal superstar pizazz I think the judges really want. It's also the kind of item that gives GMs nightmares if their players are creative (or vice versa), but to be honest I consider that a plus. I think I padded the corners well enough to prevent the worst abuses. ;)
Aura faint evocation; CL 4th
Slot —; Price 16,000 gp; Weight —
This simple jar contains eight ounces of a translucent silvery substance. The contents are cool to the touch, but have no texture at all. When worked with bare hands, magefoam behaves like a thin gel or soap foam, and can easily be formed into simple shapes or smeared across a surface. However, when not in direct contact with a creature with an Intelligence score, magefoam is rigid and immobile, not even susceptible to gravity. (Only the magic of the jar allows it to be moved when so contained.) It will withstand up to 5,000 pounds of force, but is instantly vaporized by a greater pressure. Air passes through magefoam freely, but liquids do not.
Magefoam is actually composed of countless infinitesimal spheres of force, and its unique qualities allow many uses. For instance, smearing two ounces of it over a 5-foot square surface takes one minute and makes that surface completely watertight. If a similar quantity is used to cover a door, the DC of Strength checks to break the door down from the other side is increased by 10. Objects weighing less than 5,000 pounds can be locked in place, even in mid-air, by forming a brace or shell of magefoam around them. One ounce will secure a single Small object, two Diminutive objects, or four Fine objects; to secure larger objects, double the required amount for each size category above Small. When securing objects with magefoam, each ounce takes 1 round to apply.
The magefoam jar will refill itself upon command, causing any magefoam removed from it to vanish.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, telekinetic sphere; Cost 8,000 gp
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This last one was the crowd favorite, and definitely my runner-up for submission. My biggest worry was that it might be seen as too obvious, or even just a bad pun. Another was that the judges would think the caster level was too low, but I actually did the math to see how much water was needed for the effect! From a GM's perspective, the really cool thing about this item is that a low-level tribal shaman can make one, and would want to. From the player's perspective, it's dirt-cheap and surprisingly useful... the upgraded version, even more so.
Aura faint conjuration; CL 3rd
Slot —; Price 600 gp (elder's), 3,000 gp (great elder's); Weight 2 lbs.
This long wooden tube has many internal spokes or pegs and is filled with beans, pebbles, or similar small objects. When a rainstick is upended, the contents slowly trickle down between the pegs and the tube resonates with a sound like heavy rainfall.
Once per day when held vertically and issued a command, the elder's rainstick generates an actual downpour (see Pathfinder RPG Core Rulebook, p. 437). For one minute, every square in a 10 foot radius is drenched with torrential rain which falls from a height of 30 feet (or less if constrained by a ceiling). The rainstick will remain vertical for this duration unless it is forcefully turned (a standard action), in which case the rain stops immediately. If the rainstick is moved from its location, the rain follows.
A great elder's rainstick functions as above except that the rain it creates is holy water, causing undead and evil outsiders in the area to take 2d4 damage per round. After it has fallen, this water is no longer holy.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, create water, holy water (great elder's only); Cost 300 gp (elder's), 1,500 gp (great elder's)
I like the puzzle one. If it transformed the stored item into something else, that might have made it.
Tejon, you have some really good ideas there! Wondering if you'll hit Round 2 if your submitted item is even better.
Not sure my submitted item is better, but it's got more spectacular imagery attached to it than any of these. Also the best name, hands down. Bursting with juicy flavor! The one thing that concerns me is that the imagery/flavor in question is one of those, "Hey, I've seen something like this in stories/mythology/movies, why have I never seen one in-game?" Since the inspiration was external rather than internal, there's a chance that I walked face-first into this year's chalky coin, which would be a terrible way to miss out on Top 32 since none of my other ideas had that problem. ;)
But it was so very pretty, and had such an overwhelming "I WANT THAT!" aura both from a PC perspective and "if magic showed up in real life all of a sudden," that I thought it was worth the gamble.
Hey look, the voluntary reject bin has a "favorite item type" just like the regular submissions ;)
That makes three of us. I, too, considered submitting a puzzle box.
That's almost a little disturbing. The sample size here is WAY smaller than general submissions, and while two is a coincidence, three may be a trend. Bridge to Tarabithia was two years ago and though I didn't see it, the trailers hinted at a puzzle box of some sort... could that be the Pan's Labyrinth involved here? (Pan's Labyrinth was 2006, same lead time...)
Here's the item i didn't submit
I rejected it for various reasons, suspecting it would become the favorite item type this year, too clunky ruleswise - too stale fluffwise, too wordy and overall not as good and well rounded as my other item.
But I still like it and would love to see some opinions on it. Especially if a judge has - thanks to a small wonder - some spare time left and is willing to leave comments.
Aura moderate evocation; CL 11th
Slot throat; Price 12500 gp; Weight —
This ornate crystal vial is set in a cold iron frame and worn around the neck on a long chain. It contains a shimmering liquid that can store the effects of potions and elixirs. When the wearer drinks the liquid (a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity) all potions and elixirs stored take effect on him.
Adding effects to a drink of many draughts is as easy as pouring a potion or elixir into the vial. No matter how many effects the drink of many draughts has stored it never appears to be more than half full.
There is no limit to the number of effects the drink of many draughts may hold, but mixing magical effects in this way is a dangerous prospect. Every time the wearer drinks the liquid while it has more than one effect stored, there is a 5% chance per effect that the liquid has transformed into a potent poison (and no longer grants the effects of the stored potions and elixirs) . The poisons statistics are:
Type poison, ingested; Save Fortitude DC 15 +1 per effect stored ; Frequency 1/round for 1 round per effect stored; Effect 1d2 Con damage; Cure - ;
A randomly generated drink of many draughts already holds 1d3 potions, simply generate an appropriate number of potions.
Identifying a drink of many draughts also identifies all potions and elixirs currently stored in it.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Brew Potion, imbue with spell ability; Cost 6250 gp
and now I will skim the other rejects and collect my thoughts about them.
Eye of the Vanguard Sentinel
the +2 stealth is nice but doesn't fit well thematically (in my eyes at least)
it seems to be underpriced for what it does. maybe remove that magical sights are transmitted as well.
Otherwise its a nice sense-sharing and communication item, not too original but a nice incarnation of the idea.
Transcendent Bloom
i think it has been said: way overpriced ( a scroll of awaken is about 3500GP) and a to short duration.
its uses are too limited as it stands. who spends 40.00 gp to have a talking rock for 24h?
Fluff-wise it is quite cool. especially the living-unliving paralel.
One quick idea: the plant/animal/rock retains its sentinence as long as the - now living rose lives.
Entangling Embrace of the Earth Mother
an amped up, reusable tanglefoot bag? I'm not sure I'm excited.
your rules for suffocation seem a bit wonky. fist it would be 1d6+6 points of damage, and then there already are rules for suffocation in the game. you should use those, maybe lower the time the creature can hold it's breath, because it's actively strangled.
and at last it should at least entangle creatures that don't breathe.
Idol of the Apostate
not much to say here. great item!
Reliquary Coffin
As I see it , its just a plot device. that might be grounds for rejection. After all if this were to be found in an adventure it would be described as a feature of the room, rather than as a magic item.
Magma Seed
I really like this one. All those clarifications are needed though. but they are written in an appropiately good and cinematic way ( i could really see the seed exploding as it hit a lake on its Path of wanton destruction) so they don't hinder your item. well done!
Magefoam
this somehow has a "disguised modern item" feel, even if it isn't really a modern item. I think it's mainly the "infinitesimal spheres of force" it reek of nanotechnology. And i had to think of spewer also I'm not sure if it's near useless or abuseable. Maybe it needs nome additional clarifications.
Elder's Rainstick
yeah, the caster level seems to be a tad low. otherwise it's cool, flavorful , but not to interesting for most PCs
Star Voter Season 6
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here is my regect item... felt too much like a joke item (even though as a player i could see lots of uses for it)
Name: Spoon of Dungeon Eating
Aura: medium transmutation
Slot: -
Price: 2,400
Weight: -
Description: this is a tiny spoon which has a file instead of a handle. The spoon has several different enchantments; the first allows the spoon to dig throw any stone, brick or similar materials as if it were soft clay. The second enchantment allows the file to file away any non-magically warded or magical material at the rate of 1 cubic inch per minute of work. The third enchantment is the ability to be swallowed by the owner, both the spoon and the owner will be unharmed by the experienced, the spoon will appear in the owner’s hands the next day. The last enchantment allows the owner of the spoon to gain some small nutrition out of the stone, clay, earth and brick he can dig, as long as he eats it with the spoon, the stone, clay, earth, brick will give some small sustenance. Extended use of the last ability is not recommended as it will usually end with sever digestion problems.
Construction requirements: craft wondrous item; purify food and drink, shatter and stone shape
Cost: 1,200
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Here's what I didn't send in...
Aura moderate conjuration and moderate evocation CL 9th Slot —
Price 21,600 gp; Weight 1 lbs
Description This bouquet of lilies, irises, and roses creates a colorful, but somber funeral arrangement. They are commonly wrapped in delicate, yellow lace and bound with black silk ribbon.
When buried or entombed with a corpse, these seemingly non-magical (anyone casting identify must succeed on DC 18 Will save to see their aura) flowers activate. The flowers preserve the body for nine days, after which the flowers whither and release their magic, returning the corpse to life. Immediately following this, the individual is teleported to a pre-selected location, chosen by the caster at the time of creation.
The individual arrives at this location free of poisons and non-magical diseases, has full hit points, and suffers from only one permanent negative level. Any curses or magical diseases that affected the individual remain.
Construction Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, gentle repose, magic aura, raise dead, restoration, teleport; creator must have 8 ranks in Profession (Florist) and Knowledge (Religion) Cost 10,800 gp
I had a more weaponized version of the Elder's Rainstick that I didn't submit. Let me see if I can find it...
Elder's Rainstick
yeah, the caster level seems to be a tad low. otherwise it's cool, flavorful , but not to interesting for most PCs
Seems low, but isn't. Again, I did the math ; the caster level is exactly appropriate. :) Also, the resultant pricing is about right for the amount of utility it provides. (A first level spell at CL:1 1/day would be 400.) You might want to look up the effects of a downpour; it's amazingly useful at low levels, and a party can easily acquire the rainstick before 2nd level. (Originally I had the effects spelled out, then I thought to check whether they were already in the rules... the only thing a downpour doesn't officially do which my original draft did, was outline invisible foes. And doing that would have forced the cost up, I think.)
In the game currently I'm playing, in fact, the rainstick was one of two items I thought, "hey, I really want one of those right now." The other such item was my actual submission.
Your comment on the Reliquary Coffin is exactly why it was the first in my reject bin, tho, yeah. Close to the same for the Magefoam... the line between "useless" and "broken" was just too thin to find!
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This item came off as an attempt to incorporate the cavalier class and I stopped editing and working on it once I read Sean's post for auto rejecting anything dealing with the beta classes.
Token of Knightly Prowess
Description:
These items (silk scarves mostly) were originally commissioned by noble women wishing for the safe return of their knights from the field of battle. Tied around the upper arm, or worn as a scarf, these items bolstered spirits and gave resolve to those who wore them. These were rare items that spoke more of courtly love and the promise of a lady's affections, than how it would help spill enemy blood. This item grants a morale bonus of +2 to hit with all spear and pole-arm class weapons as well as a +2 morale bonus to saving throws vs. fear effects.
In addition, the token acts as a phylactery of faithfulness for any action that would break a characters class based code of conduct or Cavalier’s edict. The token has no divine insight towards actions that would displease the owner's god.
Lastly, the token grants the effects of the diehard feat and automatically stabilizes the wearer when they are reduced below zero hit points. When the diehard power is activated, the wearer becomes immune to fear effects until raised above zero hit points or death occurs.
Faint Divination, Transmutation, and Enchantment – Price: 8,500gp – Cost: 4,250gp - Slot: Wrists or Neck – Weight: ----
Requirements:
CL: 5th, Craft Wonderous Item, detect law, detect chaos, detect evil, detect good, stabilize, calm emotions.
Again, as mentioned in previous comments, this is just an overview.. nothing too technical. (in case someone wants to critique my critique).
Pretty nifty item Pierce!
My first concern would have been that you're re-inventing the Rope of Entanglement. Re-inventions don't always fly, espcially if they don't have something different to set them apart from the Core Item. Having said that, you definitely get points for flavor. Its good to see some druidic items
Second concern is that you're explaining a few things that don't need to be explained. Specifically this: "Track the nonlethal damage taken by the creature and apply the staggered and/or unconscious conditions as appropriate." You can just drop that sentence and save the word count or use it for something else.
All in all, a decent item. I wish you good luck with the item you actually submitted!
As always, just an overview and nothing too technical.
FIrst off, let me say I think it is AWESOME that you're having your sons compete with you in the contest. Not only does that enrich the contest, bring in young folks, but its good family stuff. You get a special nod just for that.
Secondly, I can see why this was just an example.. But it's pretty nifty. I agree with Stuart, I think it does make a pretty cool trap item.
Good luck to you and your boys in the contest!
Elder's Rainstick
yeah, the caster level seems to be a tad low. otherwise it's cool, flavorful , but not to interesting for most PCsSeems low, but isn't. Again, I did the math ; the caster level is exactly appropriate. :) Also, the resultant pricing is about right for the amount of utility it provides. (A first level spell at CL:1 1/day would be 400.) You might want to look up the effects of a downpour; it's amazingly useful at low levels, and a party can easily acquire the rainstick before 2nd level. (Originally I had the effects spelled out, then I thought to check whether they were already in the rules... the only thing a downpour doesn't officially do which my original draft did, was outline invisible foes. And doing that would have forced the cost up, I think.)
Ok, it's quite hard to justify why i think the CL is too low. with CL 3 you can create 6 Gallons of water, how much that is in a 10ft radius over the course of 60 seconds is calculus i don't want to do ( and comparing research :), esp. since I would work in the metric system. ) but it might be right mathematically, but it's more of an gut-feeling, that this item should have a higher CL as in what level should a PC have to create this with a spell. and here I'm more in favor of level 4 to 5.
You should have referenced the effects of weather, just to make clear that these apply with your item. rain would be Half vision and -4 to perception +severe wind ( a downpour has the added effects of fog), but in this case the costing should be based upon these effects ( and their spells : fog cloud and gust of wind)With these effects the stick is in fact highly useful for low level characters ( even at higher levels. rain+wind+fog is a nice battlefield control option) and should be priced higher then what it is.
for 600 Gp its uses should be limited to pretty much watering your flowers and quenching your thirst. :) but that way it is highly valueable to desert-tribe shamans and nearly useless for adventurers (no flowers to water and better ways for quenching thirst)
After all it comes pretty much down to this:
I like the Rainstick, in both incarnations ( combat-useful and useless), both have their pros and cons and I'm just observing the useful things one can learn to improve his design when i look at your item and muse whether the CL is right etc.
As always, just an overview.. nothing too picky (in case someone wants to critique my critique)
Wow... I like this one! This has some really original flavor to it! I poked around to see if there there was another way to build it mechanically, but I didn't see a method I liked any better.
I got confused by the overwelming aura part, so I looked it up. I never realized the detect alignment spells did that! Good reasearch on your part and I learned something today! I might have tweaked this sentence thusly:
This power is usable at will and functions like the detect alignment spells, except that it detects the auras of divine spellcasters, spells, and objects, and the user is vulnerable to overwhelming divine auras from these things (as per detect evil).
Then again, maybe not. It might be a given that everyone else in the world would have caught that based upon their knowledge of the various detect alignment spells. ::shrug::
I don't have much else to say bad about it. I definitely look forward to what you think was better than this! Best of luck!
Entangling Embrace of the Earth Mother
an amped up, reusable tanglefoot bag? I'm not sure I'm excited.
your rules for suffocation seem a bit wonky. fist it would be 1d6+6 points of damage, and then there already are rules for suffocation in the game. you should use those, maybe lower the time the creature can hold it's breath, because it's actively strangled.
and at last it should at least entangle creatures that don't breathe.
Thanks for your feedback Azmahel. The concept really started out as a way to apply the progression of entangled/grappled/pinned/helpless conditions in successive order but it proved to be too difficult to sum up in 300 words and keep it flavorful. Ultimately since it was a druid-centric item I chose to use the constrict monster ability to deal bludgeoning damage. I hadn't thought of putting a 1 in front of the D6+6 damage descriptor and I think had I polished the item a bit more for submission the item would still more clearly entangle a non-breathing foe. It was the first thing I noticed when I opened the item to post in this thread.
Again, as mentioned in previous comments, this is just an overview.. nothing too technical. (in case someone wants to critique my critique).Pretty nifty item Pierce!
My first concern would have been that you're re-inventing the Rope of Entanglement. Re-inventions don't always fly, espcially if they don't have something different to set them apart from the Core Item. Having said that, you definitely get points for flavor. Its good to see some druidic items
Second concern is that you're explaining a few things that don't need to be explained. Specifically this: "Track the nonlethal damage taken by the creature and apply the staggered and/or unconscious conditions as appropriate." You can just drop that sentence and save the word count or use it for something else.
All in all, a decent item. I wish you good luck with the item you actually submitted!
Thanks Watcher. I wasn't even aware of the Rope of Entanglement until I started looking for item price comparisons in the rule book. Frankly it's part of the reason I didn't submit this one.
In hindsight its obvious I missed on the line of description I added but I struggled with being clear on how the item worked and explaining too much. Hopefully I didn't do too much of that in my submitted item, and if I did I guess I learned my lesson for this year.
Thanks for the feedback all, it is always helpful to have more sets of eyes look at an idea and point out the nose sitting on my face. :)
Not sure my submitted item is better, but it's got more spectacular imagery attached to it than any of these. Also the best name, hands down. Bursting with juicy flavor! The one thing that concerns me is that the imagery/flavor in question is one of those, "Hey, I've seen something like this in stories/mythology/movies, why have I never seen one in-game?" Since the inspiration was external rather than internal, there's a chance that I walked face-first into this year's chalky coin, which would be a terrible way to miss out on Top 32 since none of my other ideas had that problem. ;)
But it was so very pretty, and had such an overwhelming "I WANT THAT!" aura both from a PC perspective and "if magic showed up in real life all of a sudden," that I thought it was worth the gamble.
I agree with Varianor, Tejón. I'm gonna opt out of inidividual comments on your four items, but if you submitted item has more flavor.. I think we'll be seeing you in Round One.
I think your instincts are correct. If you read it and 'have to have it' you probably have a great item.
I definitely look forward to what you think was better than this! Best of luck!
Thank you all for your (really positive) comments! The main reason I didn't submit this one was that I got the impression it was much more a plot or NPC item than something a hero would use regularly.
Now to obsess over whether the item I actually submitted was a better choice or not. :/
As always, nothing too specific, just an overview.. in case my critique is critiqued.
Saying this nicely, I think this might seem cool to you because you can better visualize it and how you would use it or see it adjudicated. This was really the first self-rejected item that sent up the 'ripe for abuse' red flag. I immediately grabbed my Core Book and went thumbing through it for what it had to say about mixing postions.
I think it could be absued by munchkins frankly. And I know that wasn't your intent. I can see a munchkin dumping the random potions out and then pre-loading it with some specific potions that they specifically want. After they're aware of the possible poison effect, they find a way to test it in advance prior to drinking it. Any time you can activate multiple spell effects all in one standard action, you're asking for possible abuse.
I'm sure there are exceptions to the rule, but the 1:1 ratio of spell effects to standard actions is part of the internal game balance system. I think anyway. Compare it to the requirements of a Quickened Spell, which would allow you to cast two spells in one round - you need a feat and to use a much higher level spell slot. This item does something similiar pretty easily in comparison.
But the good news is I think you made the right call! I look forward to the actual item you submitted and wish you the best of luck!
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Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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This reminds me of the 1e Potion Miscibility rules (which WoTC updated for an April Fool's article on the web). It's not that your item does the exact same thing, but it shares the notion that the potions/elixirs could all work together or could cause a seriously negative effect.
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Transcendent Bloom
i think it has been said: way overpriced ( a scroll of awaken is about 3500GP) and a to short duration.its uses are too limited as it stands. who spends 40.00 gp to have a talking rock for 24h?
Fluff-wise it is quite cool. especially the living-unliving paralel.
One quick idea: the plant/animal/rock retains its sentinence as long as the - now living rose lives.
Thanks, Azmahel. I had considered your idea, but I felt I would have had to spend a lot of words to define how long the rose lived and what would keep it alive (temporal stasis, for example). Now that I don't have to worry about the 300-word constraint, I might go with that idea.
The high cost derived from being able to effectively cast stone tell on a daily basis. I should just ignore that, because as you and others have said, the cost is too high for anyone to want the item.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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here is my regect item... felt too much like a joke item (even though as a player i could see lots of uses for it)
Name: Spoon of Dungeon Eating
Aura: medium transmutation
Slot: -
Price: 2,400
Weight: -
Description: this is a tiny spoon which has a file instead of a handle. The spoon has several different enchantments; the first allows the spoon to dig throw any stone, brick or similar materials as if it were soft clay. The second enchantment allows the file to file away any non-magically warded or magical material at the rate of 1 cubic inch per minute of work. The third enchantment is the ability to be swallowed by the owner, both the spoon and the owner will be unharmed by the experienced, the spoon will appear in the owner’s hands the next day. The last enchantment allows the owner of the spoon to gain some small nutrition out of the stone, clay, earth and brick he can dig, as long as he eats it with the spoon, the stone, clay, earth, brick will give some small sustenance. Extended use of the last ability is not recommended as it will usually end with sever digestion problems.
Construction requirements: craft wondrous item; purify food and drink, shatter and stone shape
Cost: 1,200
This is an interesting item, but, I agree, you run the risk of it coming across as a joke item or getting a "so, it digs dirt <shrug>" reaction from the judges.