Way of the Idjits: Act One

Game Master Uret Jet

Buncha evil gonna go on right here.


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Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

In the kingdom of Talingarde, many crimes may send you to Branderscar Prison, but the sentence has but one meaning. You are wicked and irredeemable. Each of you received the same greeting when you arrived. You were held down by rough hands and branded upon the arm with a runic F. The mark signifies ‘forsaken’ and the painful scar is indelible proof that each of you has betrayed the great and eternal love of Mitra and his chosen mortal vassals.

Condemned, you face at best a life of shackles and servitude in the nearby salt mines. Others might await the “gentle” ministrations of the inquisitors so that co-conspirators may be revealed and confessions extracted. Perhaps, some of you will be spared this ordeal. Perhaps instead you have come to Branderscar to face the final judgment. In three days, the executioner arrives and the axe falls or the pyre will be lit. Through fire or steel, your crimes will be answered.

You have all been chained toguether in the same communal cell dressed in nothing but filthy, tattered rags. Manhandled and mistreated, any finery you once possessed is either ruined or long lost. No special treatment has been given any prisoner – male or female, commoner or noble – all of the forsaken are bound and imprisoned together. Your feet are secured by iron cuffs tethered by one long chain. Your arms are secured to the wall above by manacles. A guard is posted right outside the cell day and night. Little thought is given to long term accommodations. At Branderscar, justice comes swift and sure.

Escape seems hopeless. You have all been well searched and every attempt to conceal anything on your person has failed. And if you could somehow slip your bonds and fly out of this prison, where would you go? Who from your former life would want anything to do with the forsaken? Despised, alone and shackled – all that you can do now is await your doom.

For each of you, your old life is over. For each of you, hope is a fading memory. For each of you, justice will be fairly meted. And who can blame fair Talingarde after what each of you has done?

When Everyone is ready, please describe your characters. You're all chained up in a cell toguther, but are free to talk.


Human Invulnerable Rager/Winding Path Renegade 1 - 15/15 HP - AC 17 - Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2 - Init +3 - Perception +6

What have I gotten us into?


Male Tiefling(Orc blood) Scarred Witch Doctor / Titan Mauler 1 - 14/14HP - AC 21 - Fort +6, Ref +3, Will +5 - Init +3 - Perception +7

The brand was supposed to be painful, but Snog did not care. The many scars and burns on his body show he was willing to do more to himself than they were willing to do him. The Tiefling, though he looks much like an orc, looks about the cell. He says nothing and moves his large limbs to test the chains. They are sturdy, but he might be able to break them. Though, that can wait for now. All Snog can think about is the weapon that has been in his family for generations. The guards have taken it from him.

"I swear to Mittens that I will find it." He offers no explanation for his seemingly random remark, and seems to actually be actively ignoring everyone else.


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

Doc Randel was shackled, imprisoned, etc. He had been conducting experiments on those he promised riches for assisting him in furthering his career as an alchemist and gunning down failed experiments who threatened to leave and expose him for many years, bouncing from location to location as time flowed forward until he was finally captured.

While Randel been charged with only one crime to end up in this cell, many a guilty verdicts await several dozen other cases tied to him, and without a doubt, the death penalty awaits him. Unless he slithers his way out and flees to parts unknown.

But it was just a manner of how. Randel just might be able to concoct a plan of some sort, but only time will be able to tell.

He glanced around at the folks he shared the cell with... Perhaps they crave freedom as much as he does, and will most likely assist him in his escape.

Randel decides he should get to know his possible future accomplices before integrating them any further into a future escape plan.

"Why, hello there." Randel glanced over at his cellmates, "Perhaps it wouldn't be too much of a trouble for you if I were to request some names and a basic set of skills from you lot?"


Human Invulnerable Rager/Winding Path Renegade 1 - 15/15 HP - AC 17 - Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2 - Init +3 - Perception +6

The young man rustled out of a restless sleep. Chained to the walls without a stitch of clothing and more than enough marks on his arms, he reflected his situation with the companions they stuck him with this time.

"Damn. We're in a tight spot."


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

One of the guards of your cell takes a glancing look as she hears your muffled voices, but she quickly regrets it upon spotting the naked tribesman. Turning back with a blush and a grumble of displeasure, she shuffles between her hands what Randel would recognize as a musket.

"Ugh, stupid tribals."

Her companion shrugs, but he pays the criminals no real mind.


Human Invulnerable Rager/Winding Path Renegade 1 - 15/15 HP - AC 17 - Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2 - Init +3 - Perception +6

In an act of defiance, Bo rattles his chains, as if he were about to pounce and break free of the iron shackles. "Would like to see you back up that insinuation, miss."


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

She scoffs, but doesn't do anything else. Her partner gives an exaggerated eye-role at the woman, and simply shuffles his sword more securely into place. The first guard has one as well, but seems much more comfortable with the rifle.


Human Invulnerable Rager/Winding Path Renegade 1 - 15/15 HP - AC 17 - Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2 - Init +3 - Perception +6

A smirk comes across the man's face. "So cold, aren't we? So quick to judge about the worth of a man on how your cities and princes have coddled him, eh? So you think I'm a primitive, whatever helps the two of you fit the wide sanctions of human nature into a box. But if you came to see a savage renounce his ways, I'll have to disappoint you two today. So get your sense of self-worth while you can, because I don't think this is an open show."

He turns to the overly ornate, bespectacled man he's chained to upon the wall. "What are you in for, tiny?" he gruffly asks. "If you want a name, it's Bo. Not that I suspect you'll need much use of that knowledge after a few day's time."


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

Doc Randel looks over at Bo with a sullen look, "I am Howard Randel, and I'd appreciate it greatly if you were to not call me tiny." He tells Bo, "As for my crime, since you seem to be curious about the matter, I'm in for.. Hm, I forget what they charged me with first, but nonetheless, it'll be bundled with the crimes I committed whilst free among the innocent sheep I walked among, like a wolf in their clothing, really." He explained "Ah, but before I get too off track, the crimes I'm sure these control-hungry bastards what to pin on me aren't far from the truth.. Murder, not agreeing with their foolish religious views in an intense manner, the dangerous alchemy I dabbled in without a doubt probably frowned upon greatly as well.. The rest slip my mind for the time being." He told Bo "Now that I've explained the reason behind my incarceration, why might you be confined these confounded shackles?"


Human Invulnerable Rager/Winding Path Renegade 1 - 15/15 HP - AC 17 - Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2 - Init +3 - Perception +6

Bo scowled, not even paying attention to the doctor. "Alls I did was what my father and his before him did. These so-called civilized folk raided our lands and forests. Cut down whoever resisted. The bastards, all of em." He spat on the ground for emphasis.

"Said that the Bear Clan weren't acting within the confines of the crown. I'd say it was the other way around. We didn't ask for em to get on our lands, much less set up trade routes and mines through. So we took it upon ourselves to make it right. Take back what was ours. We called it the hunt. They called it banditry. So alls in all here I am swinging from irons waiting until these bastards finally grow the pair they need to end the Bjorn line."


Male Tiefling(Orc blood) Scarred Witch Doctor / Titan Mauler 1 - 14/14HP - AC 21 - Fort +6, Ref +3, Will +5 - Init +3 - Perception +7

Apologies, forgot to edit into the last post that Snog speak in third person.
Snog watched the other two talk. One was tribal, that was for sure. The other? A weakling, Snog was sure of this. He talked too fancy to be a warrior. When the tribal finished talking, Snog finally joined the conversation.
"High priest of Mitra told Snog that Snog's scars would be gone. He did not wait for Snog to agree. Snog did not want scars to be gone, so Snog attacked high priest. Snog only was able to injure high priest and kill four guards before being captured..." At the last part, he actually sounds sad. It was as if he was disappointed in his performance. "Worst of all, they took Snog's Aky! SNOG'S AKY. SNOG WANTS AKY BACK!" As he screams about his Aky, he thrashes about and yanks on the chains.


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

The second guard groans allowed, and bangs the hilt of his word against the bars. "Hey, keep it down in there unless you want put in isolation! Ugh, I swear the first chance I get, I'm transferring back to the city." His female companion shrugs, busying herself with polishing her gun.


Human Invulnerable Rager/Winding Path Renegade 1 - 15/15 HP - AC 17 - Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2 - Init +3 - Perception +6

"Aky? Who in the world is aky?" Bo knew he wasn't the sharpest out there, but he had to think the green-skinned one was in possession of more than a few loose screws.

He lowers his voice to a whisper, leaning closer to his chained companions. "Besides, these chains are iron, friend. Our best attempt of getting out of them is when they would try to take us down. And even then, our odds are slim."


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

Randel was in deep thought "Whatever we plan, the chances of success will be very slim, so I say that if anything, IF we get out of these chains, we go with what happens, come up with strategies as we move." He whispers to Bo, "Since it'd take too long for even I to create a plan to escape this prison. But perhaps we could use the Orc to make the odds of escape lean in our favor. We just have to get him to play nicely with us."

Randel checks how well he can move in the shackles and how large the cell is, "Tell me, Bo. How well can you move at the moment with those shackles on?" He asks Bo with a grin on his face, perhaps a plan to get out of the shackles was coming together piece by piece, it'd only be a matter of getting out, afterward.


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

There's a loud commotion further down the cellblock, and large doors are pulled open as a legion of six soldiers led by a large portly man named Sergeant Tomas Blackerly come marching in. You each know this man, he was there to laugh when you were marked. Snog would recall when the Sergeant forced him to watch as his mask was tossed and burnt in the fire where the iron was given heat.

He sways to his side, and he seems less focused then usual. Pulling out his sidearm, he gestures wildly in Randel's general direction.

“You there! That’s the scum! Get ‘em unshackled. If any of you makes trouble, they’ll earn a thrash- ing! Today’s your lucky day, scum. You’ve got a visitor. How you ever warranted such a fine lady is beyond me. Seems she wants to say good-bye. Now step lively. We wouldn’t want to keep her waiting.”

When his men and woman see to hesitate, he gives a sharp snarl and points his gun high as he fires it up. Rock and dust give way as everyone jerks back.

"Don't question my orders, or it's scrubbing duty for a week!"

Seeing as he wouldn't take no for an answer, your guards quickly open up the cell and move toward Randel, guns are pointed at everyone to ensure nothing is attempted.


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

Randel is caught off guard before he can finish calculating the cell's size and such, but takes this moment to analyze the guards and their equipment "Ah, yes, yes. Just give me a second, this sudden commotion is hard on an old man's heart, after all. And you scared me nigh to death, gentlemen." He had a feeling he'd need to play it polite with these guards, just in case.

Perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (2) + 3 = 5
To see what these guards are equipped with, and such.


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

Blackerly rolls his eyes, but his soldiers are quick to unlock Randel's manacles, and keep his arms pinned behind his back as they start moving. Through it all, everything is too much of a blur to Randel to get any good idea on what they're packing, but he does notice a few swords at least as well.

The cell is locked behind them as they march Randel away, several guards stay in the cellblock to watch over the others.


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

Randel is displeased at the lack of knowledge he was able to obtain whilst on the move, but he'd have a chance to analyze the guards and their equipment set up after this visit with whoever these guards say want to meet with him.


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

Randel is taken through the room right outside the cellblock into a small gaurdroom. It's lit by only a single torch sconce on the far wall, and he can see stairs that lead further down. An old unlit fireplace is on the right side of the room,but you don't get a good look at it as the soldier handling you pushes you towards the single door to your left.

The Sergeant opens it, and inside you're met with the sight of an almost hauntingly beautiful woman wearinf an elegant black dress along with a silken white veil. At a first glance, it looks like she just came from a funeral. Her platinum white hair is frazzled just slightly, and her un-earthly green eyes show signs of her having been weeping.

"Oh, dearest,” proclaims the unfamiliar woman. “I’m so relieved you’re alive!” She quickly turns to Tomas. “Could we please have a moment alone, good sir? For pity’s sake?”

Tomas goes blank for a bit and then quickly agrees. “Of course, my lady. For you,’ tis no problem"

If Randel wishes, he may roll a sense motive. Regardless, Tomas leaves you two be.


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

Randel puts on a social fake, pretending to be excited to her, and waits until Tomas leaves them alone, and drops the fake and glares at her "Who. Are. You?" He asks in an hushed, impatient whisper.

Sense motive: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7
To see if he can tell what her deal is.


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

As soon as the man leaves the room and the door is shut behind him, she too completely looses whatever act she'd been pulling just before. She smiles at his in initial question, and tilts her head to the side.

“Tiadora... Have you forgotten me, dearest?” the unexpected visitor says with a smirk. “We possess a mutual friend who would like to meet you and your fellow cell-mates. Unfortunately, our friend is unwilling to visit you in your present rather shabby accommodations so it seems you must es- cape. Don’t be so dour. Just because it’s never been done before is no rea- son you can’t be the first.

“If you manage that, cross the moors on the outskirts of town. On the old Moor Road you’ll see a manor house with a single lantern burning in the second story. There our mutual friend waits. That is all I know. He did want me to give you this.” She takes off her silken veil and wipes away a few fake tears with it. “Something to remember me by, dearest.”

She slides over her veil, which now that you see it up close appears to be embroidered with many pictures, such as a dagger and a flask. Very odd.

She appears to be wanting you to escape, and Tomas himself seemed perfectly normal to you as far as you could tell.

The Veil


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

Randel retains his sullen look, if this person and their so-called 'mutual friend' could help him once he and his accomplices escaped, it would beat having no plan and splitting only to be possibly be caught when the law would begin their manhunt briefly afterwards.

"Okay then, my dear" He mutters to the woman "Me and my fellow cellmates will make it our mission to meet this mutual friend of ours. I'm already working on a plan, so it shouldn't be too long until something occurs."


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

she gives a smile that seems foreign on her features, and her eyes seem to darken. "I'm glad you see so assured of yourself, Randel," it would occur to him that he's never told her your name. "Now then, if there's nothing else, I believe your 'friends' are awaiting your return."


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

Randel grinned "Our mutual friend can expect to see me and my 'allies' very soon... Oh, and one more thing!" Randel slowly walked over to her and leaned towards her ears "Should this so-called 'mutual friend' of ours not give me any answer on the matter, and should we ever so much as cross paths again, 'my dear'. You will explain to me who you are, and why you know my name." Randel whispered in a sullen, more serious tone before backing away, "Now, if you don't mind. I have some 'thinking' to do back inside my current accommodations."

Randel didn't break eye contact contact with her as he backed up over to the door and knocked on it "We're done here, sir." He shouted to whoever was guarding the outside of the door.


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

She actually grins when you get closer, whispering sweet threats to her. "I think I'd enjoy that..." Her eyes seem to flash when you get up, but you figure that's from the sudden rush of light as the door is opened.

Her message delivered, she rises as the guards return. Immediately, her demeanor once more changes and she is again a perfect picture of grief. “No, I can’t bear to leave you!” She gives the PC a kiss on the cheek. The kiss is ice-cold and feels somehow alien and inhuman.

Tomas shakes his head. “I’m afraid it’s time, miss.”

She looks deep in Tomas’ eyes and says, “Thank you for letting me say good-bye. There’s no need to search my dearest. You are such a good friend for letting me see my dearest one more time.”

“Such a good friend,” Tomas repeats his voice almost mechanical. Then the watch sergeant seems to snap out of it and bows politely. “A pleasure, madam,” She leaves unveiled. Her eyes meet the PCs one last time and she briefly gives them a wicked smile.

“Three days,” telepathically echoes in the PC’s mind. “Don’t disappoint me, dearest” . The visitation concluded, Randel is taken back to his cell by a cadre of guards and shackled once more.

Everyone besides your original guards leaves once the cell is locked tight and everyone secure, and the doors to the cellbock are once more closed. When they close it's like a signal was lit, and at once the prisoners know that soon, soon they will be making their escape.


Human Invulnerable Rager/Winding Path Renegade 1 - 15/15 HP - AC 17 - Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2 - Init +3 - Perception +6

"Leaving so soon?" Bo asked the riflewoman. "Conversation feels so stilted when across iron bars. And I was just about to get to the part about the skalds that were in our clan. Ah, the tales they would sing of when the stars came out..."

He looked over the doctor. "Who'd you leave behind that would so much as give you visitors?"


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

Randel glances at Bo "Someone who wants to see you, me, and that orc over there.." He whispers to Bo "Now, all I need to do is take some measurements and such." Randel explained to him as he began taking notes on the shackles and such.

Perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (2) + 3 = 5
To size up the cell, and such.


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

Whoever Bo was talking to beforehand is content to ignore him.

The cell is very spacious, 55 feet by 30. There four others as well as an even more secure looking room on one end of the block, gives the impression that this place used to hold a much higher number of inmates.


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

Next, Randel checks the shackles, and the distance between him, Bo, and the orc fellow, if all things considered fit in with his plan, then it's just a matter of dealing with guards.


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

The locks are old, that you can tell. You might be able to pick them with the right tools... The distance between you and your fellows is about ten feet each way, you between them.


Male Tiefling(Orc blood) Scarred Witch Doctor / Titan Mauler 1 - 14/14HP - AC 21 - Fort +6, Ref +3, Will +5 - Init +3 - Perception +7

Snog leans in to the other two prisoners, his voice barely a whisper. "Snog will help, on one condition. We must find Snog's Aky, it was brought here along with Snog." He quickly checks to make sure the guards arent actively trying to listen in before speaking again. "Did visitor give you anything to help?"


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

"We will have no trouble getting your.. eh, Aky.. whatever that is.." Randel whispers to Snog, "All I need to do is check the guards..." Randel tells the two, as he checks the guards posted outside, attempting to see whatever it is their armed with and what material their armor is made from.

Perception: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7
To check the armor material and weapons of the guards.


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

You can't get a good look at what they have through the bars, but you know the woman has a rifle along with her sword at least.


Human Invulnerable Rager/Winding Path Renegade 1 - 15/15 HP - AC 17 - Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2 - Init +3 - Perception +6

"If it helps any, I could get a distraction. Could ask for food or some such." Bo offers, hopefully pushing their way towards freedom.


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

"Hm, I can't get a good view, we'll just have to hope it's not too strong of a material, if anything. He whispers to Bo and Snog as he begins to check the veil for anything.


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

As Randel checks the veil, he doesn't notice anything hidden in it as far as he can tell, but can spot the various symbols embroidered across it.

The Veil


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

Knowledge (Arcana): 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (10) + 4 = 14
To see what the deal is with the veil, and if he knows anything about things similar to it.


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

Let the courts know that Randel actually rolled an 18 here. Regardless, he knows enough to note the similarities to a cloak of useful items, where each patch is in fact an item bound by magic into the cloth. You know from those, all you have to do is tear off a patch, and it'll become that item.


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

Randel grins, and tears off the lock pick patch, "Gentlemen, we have our exit strategy, prepare for an early release.." He tells Bo and Snog.


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

Once Randel has the lockpick, he works to unshackle himself.

Disable device: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (10) + 6 = 16
To pick the lock on the shackles


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

The patch easily becomes a set of what you can only assume tl be masterwork lockpicks. As you busy yourself attempting to unlock it, you almost feel like it's not gonna work. But, with a soft clock, your arms are now free. And it's a simple matter right after to unlock your legs. This is enough to assure you that they all seem to have a similar locking mechanism, you feel it'll be a snap to deal with the other ones now.

Randel now has a +2 bonus from the masterwork lockpicks, as well as a +2 bonus because of the similar locks for the others and the cell.


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

Once Randel frees his arms, he begins to work on his legs, which should be mere child's play. Once those are out of the way, he moves over to his fellow cellmates, starting with the orc. "Now, then. We must pretend that we are still shackled until the right time, then we shall ambush the two guards, gentlemen." He explains to Bo and Snog as quietly as possible.

Disable device: 1d20 + 6 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (14) + 6 + 2 + 2 = 24
To pick the lock on Snog's shackles.


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

The shackles weep at your superior lockpicking skills, and are unlocked with soft clicks.


Male Tiefling(Orc blood) Scarred Witch Doctor / Titan Mauler 1 - 14/14HP - AC 21 - Fort +6, Ref +3, Will +5 - Init +3 - Perception +7

Snog nods and stays quiet, as to not draw attention to this. Once he knows it is unlocked he does his best to remain where he was, and make it look like he is still shackled.


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

Once the shackles are unlocked on Snog, Randel moves over to Bo and begins to pick the lock on his shackles, too.

Disable device: 1d20 + 6 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 6 + 2 + 2 = 11
To pick the lock on Bo's shackles


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

Bo's lock dosn't come loose, but makes a little noise. The guard outside looks over to her companion. "Was that a rat?" He shrugs, and she turns back to what she was doing. You can only feel you got lucky that time.


Male Human Lvl.1 Alchemist/Gunslinger

Randel lets out a quiet sigh of relief, and turns back to Bo's shackles, silently cussing them out in a different language as he tries to pick the lock on them, again.

Disable device: 1d20 + 6 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 6 + 2 + 2 = 14
To get the damned shackles unlocked


Male Tiefling(Orc blood) Scarred Witch Doctor / Titan Mauler 1 - 14/14HP - AC 21 - Fort +6, Ref +3, Will +5 - Init +3 - Perception +7

While Randel works with the lock for Bo, Snog looks at both the guards, hoping to find out what sort of weapons and armor they have. He knows the female has a rifle and sword, but he knows nothing about the other one.

perception: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (10) + 7 = 17


Astronaut Skeleton level 20 Gamemaster

It again fails, and causes more noise.

what was that?: 1d20 ⇒ 15

Thankfully, they don't seem to notice. The Third and final attempt manages to unlock Bo.

Meanwhile, Snog is able to get a good feel for their equipment. In addition to the swords and the one woman's rifle, they both have a leather club and a longbow. Heavy shields, likely steel, are slung across their backs and they are wearing chain shirts.

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