"Rabbit hop towards horse house like rabbit!"
Boar will lead the way! He is fearless!
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Yous follows da map to go to da horse house. Yous is attacked by seagulls! There's three regular seagulls 'n' one big one, almost as big as Boar. Da big seagull haves big beak dat droops down under.
Da Bosun rolls a bunch of dice, then after growling at the results and spitting on the floor, says Yous all goes first. But yous can't reach da seagull 'cause theys flying above yous.
Erin speaks up for the first time. I... sing? she says, uncertainly, like a chicken.
Chicken's song makes yous all better at fightin' 'n' more brave.
Evalee looks up from the rulebook she's been flipping through. It's a long rulebook, but she thinks she's read the relevant parts for her and Sephy's classes.
"Wait, what's happening?"
"We're being attacked, Ms. Ribbinz," Semsephiel explains, [b]"by three seagulls and a pelican."
"Oh!" Evalee furrows her brow. "That could be a problem, if they fly and we don't. Um, Sephy, you have a crossbow, but the penalty for firing it into melee is -4, sometimes -8. I think, since we all go before the seagulls, we should delay our . . . nevermind, your initiative is one of the best. Um, go ahead?"
"In the name of Big Chief Bosun," Semsephiel monotones, "you will pay for your misdeeds. What do I roll?"
"First, a twenty sided die, and then add three. Oh, and what's the bardic performance bonus . . . um, and then add another one. To hit and damage."
Semsephiel stares at the dice as if expecting them to roll themselves.
"I got this," Evalee says, taking over for him.
"If I'm reading the rules right," the half-elf hedges, "Racoon has a twenty-two to hit and a three for damage. At . . . the big seagull."
As for frog . . ." she continues, "I move here . . . no, here, and cast burning hands."
Clyde squints at his sheet and then frowns. Oink oink! I gotta no air power! I guess I wait until one seagull come close and then gore!
Boar falls on his snout!
"Rabbit wait for seagull to come down, so Rabbit can hit it with small sword!"
Raccoon hit big seagull wit crossbow. Frog magic-throw mace at big seagull. Mace miss, but come back. Den, big seagull spit uh fish at Raccoon!
Fish miss and flop on ground. It go... Da Bosun bugs out his eyes and makes his mouth into a circle, then flaps his hands by the sides of his face, imitating a fish out of water.
Seagulls flies down! Dem attacks Frog 'n' Rabbit 'n' Raccoon, but only hit Rabbit. He do 4 damages. Rabbit hit seagull too, but not very hard.
Erin tries to make sense of the scribbles on her character sheet. I...shoot the seagull with my crossbow. The big one. While singing.
Yous misses!
Boat gets mad and somehow swings a big sword after hopping over to raccoon to stab the seagull in the butt!
Seagull dat attacked Raccoon explode! Feathers go everywhere!
"Uh, Rabbit hit back at seagull, using tiny teeth and sword...twice."
"I'll five foot reposition away from the seagull, and use hand of the apprentice again, on Big Seagull."
"Sephy, you should reposition out of melee as a free, copycat as a move, and fire your crossbow wait damn loading it is a move action, scratch that, just copycat and load."
Having absolutely no idea what any of those words mean, Semsephiel lets Evalee move his character for him.
Oink! Oink! We need more teamwork!
Rabbit bite miss, but him's swords hit da seagull. Do three damages. Seagull fight back.
Rabbit take 4 damages! He are disabled!
Frog magic-throw mace at big seagull again. Him misses. Mace come back.
Raccoon make second raccoon. It only trick. Othur seagull follow him 'n' attack, but hit trick raccoon instead. It disappear.
Big seagull spit fish at frog but him misses.
Erin speaks up again. I reload my crossbow and fire at the big seagull, while singing.
Yous misses again!
Boar goes after another seagull and stabbers!
Raccoon will split again as a move action, and then spend his other move action to flank with Rabbit.
Frog will try the hand of the apprentice again.
"Rabbit, um, carefully move back."
"Rabbit quickly strike with all his sword at seagull!
Yous chop dat seagull wings off 'n' kills him dead! Other seagull follow raccoon and try bite him again.
Him Misses! Big seagull spit fish at frog again.
Fish smack frog in face! Frog take 6 damages and are disabled!
Erin narrates shooting her crossbow at the big seagull again, while continuing her bardic performance.
She misses again. You guys are up. Frog is at 0HP and disabled, Rabbit is at 2HP.
Boar does what boar does best, commit mayhem!
Yous misses!
Boat still commits mayhem by flopping in dirt!
"Rabbit move there... no, theres. Rabbit stab seagull!"
Looking up from the rulebook, Evalee says, "Ok, I'm at zero hitpoints, but I can still take actions - I'm just staggered and I'll lose a hitpoint and start dying if I do."
"That means nothing to me," Semsephiel requests further clarification.
"You're character's a healer. I need you to heal me."
"Ah. By the grace of Big Chief Bosun," Sephy extends his arms to the heavens - or rather, to the upper decks. "You are healed. That was my turn?"
"Well, you need to roll the dee-eight."
"Deewhat? The eight sided die?" Semsephiel picks it up and drops it.
"Awesomesauce!" the summoner exclaims. "I'mma do my hand of the apprentice again, since that's been working so well for me."
Yous hit dat big seagull wit da mace, den it come back. Big seagull fly down to attack yous back.
Him bites you so hard yous fall down and are dying! Yous takes 9 damages!
Big seagull fly away again, but raccoon can try attack hims back when him does.
Other seagull attack boar!
Boar take 3 damages.
Erin narrates firing her crossbow at the big seagull again.
Critical hit! Yous does 6 damages!
Boar is mega angry and moves to protect his buddies and waits for the right time to strike!
]
Frog isn't being super useful in this fight, so she'll just make a stabilization roll and Racoon will fire his crossbow.
"Rabbit move to hit not-big seagull, hitting with sword."
Raccoon shoot big seagull! Him go "ACK!" 'n' fall down dead! Rabbit sneak up on last seagull 'n' stabs him. Him takes 4 damages!
Da Bosun checks something on one of the illegible scraps of paper.
Wait, Chicken still singing. That make 5 damages. All seagulls dead! The goblin begins to gather up his papers. We plays more tomorrows!
Did we get the pelican? I seem to have missed it.
I guess it is time for supper then. Clyde heaves himself up and heads for the chow line.
Clyde comes across a man giving out pouches of gold to the first three people he meets! Clyde counts as three people so he gets all the gold!
Clyde opens the first pouch and finds it full of rocks, the metallic jingling sound it made just an illusion. As he looks in, the man and several others around burst out in laughter. The man then claps Clyde on the back and invites him to eat with them.
Clyde debates on killing them all but decides that he will have dinner first.