The Secrets of the Sunderlands
Game Master GM Netherfire

So is there no way to attempt to make a good impression? I just don't want to get stabbed/attacked by teammates ie last game cough cough josh cough cough.

Rolg counts the bits on the table, everyone can see each bag ought to contain 200 gold bits. 100 gp.

"As I said, we will depart on the morning after tomorrow. Have yourself a Merry Turning. You will find rooms for each of you upstairs."

He raises his new wine glass in toast, and empties the glass.

Noticing that the bag Rolg counts is of a similar size to his own, Balion assumes he also has one hundred gold pieces worth of the foreign currency. "Until tomorrow then." He rises from the table with care and walks upstairs to his reserved room, closing the door behind him. Meticulously observing the entire room, he begins checking for escape routes and potential dangers.
Perception Check 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (9) + 5 = 14 Just being careful. Aladdin has not to worry about Balion stabbing him in the back, as it would be of no benefit to him.

"Well it seems a waste to ignore all of this merry making, I believe I'll be off. See you all on the morrow." The dwarf rises from his seat and hefts his traveling gear. Stowing it upstairs in his room you hear him make his way down and back out into the joy-filled streets. He spends some time out there walking about the people, and taking in the evening. While he's out the Cleric purchases two potions of cure light wounds, which he has an enjoyable time haggling for (what would I end up paying?). Eventually he makes his way back to the inn where he retreats to his room. The Priest spends an hour studying his book and renewing his mind for the day ahead (meditation, I can use for tomorrow?) before retiring to slumber.

As everyone is going to their rooms, Rolg follows suit. Once in his room, Rolg uses his string to secure the window closed and ties a tankard to it to warn against intrusion. He slides his bed against the door, then sits on the floor and sharpens his weapons.

Aladdin looks around as the table empties. He follows everyone up the stairs and finds his room, pops inside and hides his backpack under the bed. Satisfied, he turns and heads out to the festivities to dance a hour or so with a pretty lass. After a good workout with said lady, Aladdin heads back to his room. Taking out his bedroll, he places it under the bed and then stuffs his backpack under the blankets and arranges the pillows to look as someone was sleeping in the bed. He climbs under the bed and makes himself cozy and drifts off to sleep.

Despite the cold winter air, the city seems to buzz with life, and the noisy merry-making carries on into the early morning. The city finally quiets about an hour before sunrise.

Bolgrith wakes with the dawn, rising refreshed from his bed he clears an empty space on the floor of his room. Eschewing his armor and even clothing for the moment, he begins his morning calisthenics routine. Stretching and exercising till a thin film of sweat covers his hairy body, the dwarf feels rejuvenated. He thinks back to last nights study, he knows that once again his god has answered his prayers. The Priest can call on Irori and he will be answered.

His morning routine complete Bolgrith finds some water to wash with. He dresses himself and dons his armor, ax, and shield. Loading up the remainder of his gear into a neat pile by his bed he makes his way downstairs to the common room. Seeing no one else in the room, he takes a seat and waits for the innkeeper to appear.

Balion awakes to the sound of someone moving about a few rooms down in rhythmic motions. Not wanting to be the last man to be ready he stretches out and washes his face. After donning armor he begins sharpening his sword with the whetstone from his pack. Fully dressed Balion places his wide brim hat upon his head at the perfect angle. Ensuring the optimal compromise between shading him from the sun and covering his face. Wanting to make a good impression with his new employer he counts the finger lengths from the bridge of his nose to the outside of his hat to ensure absolute symmetry. Perfect. Satisfied with his appearance he grabs the unlit candle and few matches off the nightstand placing them in his backpack. Walking down the stairs he notices the dwarf and sits a few seats down from him.
"Dea-maidin, máistir dwarf"

"Gratan aiden-tok." The dwarf replies in kind. "Have you seen any of our companions yet?

Aladdin stretches and yawns and pokes his head out from under the bed, weary at the dark room. "Dancing Lights" he yawns and flicks his hand. Four spheres instantly appear and whirl around, lighting up the room. He climbed out from under the bed and was pleasantly surprised by the two copper he found. He starts his morning routine; tidying himself up, and checking his supplies. He dons his outfit, puts his backpack on and checks the wrist sheathes to make sure his wands are working properly. He then heads downstairs, dismissing the Dancing Lights.

Spotting two others, Aladdin gives greeting. "Good Morning gentleman. Hope the night was well for you."

Nodding towards Aladdin as he walks down the stairs, Balion dismisses Bolgriths question. Searching for something to say but instead coming up short Balion remains quiet. After a few moments Balion abruptly gets up and heads into the streets outside looking for a vender so he might acquire an Billhook or other type of pole arm. What do I pay? Sources I found said around 10-15 gold pieces. Noting that he may spend some time at sea, he wanted superior reach in ship to ship combat. After finishing his errand he returned to the inn and sat down at the table with the others.

Rolg studies the marks for a while before turning in.
KN:? 1d20 ⇒ 8

Not being able to make much sense of it, he sleeps uneasily and heads straight for the barkeep in the morning.

"The cuts on the bed in the second bedroom: what do they mean? Tell me."

The innkeeper steps out of the kitchen to see Balion step out onto the street. He jumps a bit at Rolg's question, not noticing the hobgoblin approach. Grinning, he gestures toward to the east, the direction of the docks.
"Heh, had a nobleman's son rent that room for a week on a month-long carousal of the coastal cities. I remember he entertained a lot of the ...local talent." The innkeeper's smile is stained yellow, but it vanishes after a moment. "Not to worry, though. The sheets are clean. Excuse me, I am nearly finished with breakfast."
After taking a quick scan of the number of patrons, he shoulders the door into the kitchen.

You have the entire day to purchase items and prepare for departure.

The chilly Kiffport morning is quiet on the streets and shops, though the docks remain as busy as usual. Balion finds the nearest armory is kept by a bleary-eyed blacksmith, obviously suffering from last night, and his bright young apprentice. For extended pole-arms, their inventory includes fifty longspears (5 gp), twenty glaives (8 gp), thirty guisarmes (9 gp), fifteen lances (10 gp), and thirty ranseurs (10 gp). Fifteen of the longspears appear to be masterwork quality (305 gp), as well as ten of the guisarmes (309 gp), ten of the ranseurs (310 gp), and five of the lances (310 gp).

The apprentice begins to show you the magically enchanted weapons, but is cut off by the terse master, who eyes your well-worn clothing and other inexpensive equipment.

Balion sat with the others at breakfast deciding which polearm he would purchase on his return to the armory. Curious about the master blacksmith behavior. I wonder what that blacksmith was hiding. Deciding he did not want any trouble he dropped the subject entirely. Although a good swimmer and accustomed to navigating rivers by ship, traveling across the open seas was completely new to Balion. Contemplating his future journey he decided to ask about it. "Bolgrith, have you ever sailed across the seas, without any land in sight"

Aladdin spent the day wandering the town, making nice chat with the local ladies. I've brought pretty much everything I need so far... Let's just have a nice day off.

"Mmmmm? Oh, ah yes. Once. Thirty, no thirty-two years ago. It was rather uneventful I'm afraid. Just delivered trade goods to the city of Alenth." Having said his piece, the dwarf spends most of the day by the shore, watching the waves lap against the wharf. He makes a point to procure some silver dust and a flask while he's out. Spending the rest of the day indoors the Priest performs a ritual of blessing and prepares a pint of holy water. Meditating in the evening he retires early to be well rested for their journey's beginning.

Assuming nothing of import happens the rest of this day.

After breakfast Balion returns to the armory and purchases a guisarmes from the apprentice blacksmith. Having completed his errand, he spends the rest of the day walking around the docks testing out his new weapon. He returns to the inn at the end of the day.

Balion: If you wish, roll a Sense Motive for the blacksmith's behavior. See discussion.

The sailors and dockworkers are perturbed at a man carrying such a weapon into their working area, though most give him a wide berth, a few shout harsh words as they do so.

I will wait until I hear from Rolg before I move onto the next day. I don't want to skip ahead without giving you a chance to prepare for THE OPEN SEA. YARRRR!!!

Rolg ventures out after breakfast and buys 2 water skins and adds a second wine skin to the one he has already: both he fills with a heavy sweet red.

His prizes in hand, Rolg returns to the inn and informs the inn keep that he will take use of the yard for a few hours.

Without waiting for a reply, Rolg strides out the back door and drills with his weapons.

The innkeeper stammers at Rolg's bold intrusion through the kitchen to the back door, but he knows better than to start something. He goes back to kneading dough at the kitchen counter. You notice the kitchen to be well organized, but his stock of food and drink seem to be less than expected.
As the day crawls along, Simon Wyldote returns for lunch, and complains about the cold weather of the area. When he leaves, he says something about helping Captain Rettley haggle for supplies.
Sailors and dockworkers trickle in and out during the afternoon, and their frequency increases as the sun begins to set. By sun down, every seat is taken, and the innkeeper is greeting regulars and whistling cheerfully as he serves ale or wine. The quiet slowly grows to a bearable din of conversation, with the occasional shout or laughter thrown in. You do not attract as much as a glance, for the regulars here are accustomed to new-faced traders from the port.
Simon finally reappears with a tall, lean man with high, gaunt cheekbones and shrewd eyes. His face and hands look to be weather weary. The young Simon introduces him to each of you as Captain Ummer Rettley, captain of the Wanderlust. The captain seems to impassively size each of you up, but smiles politely at your acquaintance.
The next morning, each of you hears a rapping on the door of your room. Pale, dim light from outside suggests the sun will be over the horizon within the hour, and Simon says through the door that the captain is eager to be off.
You find Simon waiting outside the door of the inn, and you follow him down the dockside road for about a quarter mile north. On the right side of the road, ship after ship is anchored at the docks, and the dockworkers are already up and busy with loading and unloading trade goods. Out of one longboat files a clutch of half-orc mercenaries and elsewhere, heavy warhorses are being led onto a galley. Before long, Simon veers toward a ship, where you quickly spot Captain Rettley scowling and pointing at a list of paper, and instructing a nodding sailor.
The Wanderlust is much smaller than the galleys you passed, but still boasts two thick masts and two decks. Three ballistae line each side of the deck, and the belly of the lower deck suggests it capable of holding massive amounts of cargo. Men scramble amongst the rigging and muscle crates below deck. As the crew bustles about, the Captain Rettley invites you aboard, where he outlines the rules of his ship:

1. Captain’s word is law.
2. Filching is punishable by flogging, and a reduction of rations.
3. Every man must participate in defense of the ship, when the need arises. Furthermore, every man must have his weapon with him at all times.
4. Deserters in combat will be marooned or executed.
5. No gambling. Disobedience will result in flogging.
6. No fighting with other crewmen or passengers aboard. Any disputes must be settled on land. Disobedience will result in flogging, perhaps marooning.
7. No women or boys are allowed aboard without express invitation of the captain.
8. If you are found to be intoxicated whilst performing duties, you will be flogged.
9. Disobeying a direct order from the captain may result in execution.

An hour later, lines are cast and the Wandlust drifts from the dock. The sails unfurl with a soft rumble, pale sheets of ivory swelling with the easterly winds. Gently rocking, the ship eases into deeper waters, the stinking filth of the city slowly fading to the salty winds. As the captain shouts commands, and the dockworkers are left behind, the crew seems to number around twenty-five. Captain Rettley stands at the aft, his calloused hands easily guiding the large wooden wheel. Simon leads you to your quarters below deck, where you find enough private rooms for ten passengers, built in sacrifice of cargo space. Each contains a bed with space underneath for storage, and a few hooks on the wall.

Simon informs you it will be about two weeks until you reach the next waypoint, the Merspires.
Knowledge geography, local, or history to remember anything about that location. Also, tell me what you intend to do to pass the time.

You're welcome.

Bolgrith looks about his cabin with approval, the quarters being significantly larger than the ones he had on his last voyage. He stows his traveling gear under the bed and makes ready to move above decks. Patting his side to make sure his ax is secure the dwarf checks the straps of his armor and shield, making sure everything is cinched tight. Reaching the top deck of the Wanderlust the Cleric breaths deep. Though not the strongest of swimmers, he had always loved the smell of the salt sea.

The Merspires, the name feels familiar on Bolgriths tongue but he is unsure if he can place it.

Knowledge (Geography) 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (10) + 5 = 15
Knowledge (Local) 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (8) + 9 = 17
Knowledge (History) 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (10) + 8 = 18

Making himself acquainted with the ship, the Priest intends to spend his days meeting the crew and learning of their lives. Where they've been, what they've learned everything he can about the ship and it's history. Particularly any information about where they are going and the people who live there.

Taking one last deep breath Bolgrith sends a silent prayer to Irori, thanking his god once again for the powers granted him to help him through this journey.

These will probably be the ones I pick as long as we're at sea.

Aladdin stows his gear and looks around with anticipation. A two week journey, eh? Let's hope the sea is gentle with us. Strapping his crossbow to his back, he sheathes his dagger and tucks it into his belt. Aladdin pokes his head out of his quarters and looks down the hall for his companions. "Does anyone know anything about this Merspires place we're heading to?" He asks to anyone within earshot.

At Aladdin's question, most of the sailors ignore him, a few of them casting their eyes to the sky before continuing their work, shaking their heads. There is one, named Vern, who speaks up.
"Et's a tradin' port, boy. An' a damned one, at that. N'er trust them mermen. Smell like bad luck, they do. Don' matter none, ef cap'n wants a trade, he'll trade."

Vern mutters a curse and begins climbing the rigging to finish his task.

Balion enters his room and stows his pack in the storage under his bed as he contemplates whether he can recall anything about Merspires.
Knowledge(Geography)1d20 + 7 ⇒ (15) + 7 = 22
Wearing his armor with his mace strapped at the belt Balion straightens his hat, polearm in hand he goes to the top deck to assist the crew. In an attempt to pass the time and demonstrate usefulness to Simon Wydolte, as well as, Captain Rettley he decides to fish. Using his fishing net. Survival check?1d20 + 5 ⇒ (6) + 5 = 11
Surprisingly enjoying the salty air and even saltier language, Balion is content, even cheerful.

Rolg comes aboard and accepts the captain's rules: "As you say."

He sets about finding himself a footlocker with a good strong lock and ties the key about his neck. Rolg spends the remainder of the day acquainting himself with the ship and dodging and dogging anyone who may want work out of him.

Balion pulls up a few cod twitching and jerking in his net, but it only seems to be enough to feed one person. A working crewman nods, impressed at Balion's fast catch. "Quickatch. Ya turn those over t' Cylar, 'ur cook underdick, an' 'ell fex 'em up proper fer ya."

Looking at the sky, Balion wonders if the weather will hold through the journey.
Perception 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13
Balion looks at the crewman and tips his hat in a nod. He begins to say something but stops and starts again.
"A good catch, is good luck."
Not knowing what else to say he took a stab at a smile, failed, and headed down below to deliver the cod to the chef.
Knocking as he entered the kitchen."One of the crew said you could fix these up for me, if you wouldn't mind." Leaving before getting a response he headed to his room to practice sword play.

An hour later, a heavyset Halfling pokes his head above deck and lets out a sharp whistle, and disappears back below deck. Half of the crew make a brisk pace to the stairs leading below, and form a line to the table and coal-heated cook pot that serves as the kitchen. Behind the table, the Halfling stands in front of barrels and crates of food, filling clay mugs with ale from a cask and setting them on the table. The full mugs are snatched up as quickly as they are set, but the sailors maintain a semblance of order as they wait for their food. Many of them mutter thanks to Cylar, and are quickly supplied with a chunk of hardbread and fist-sized piece of roasted beef. You can tell the Halfling must have a vast array of spices and salts at his disposal, for the simple meal to smell so tantalizing. A few reach for the cooked cod set aside on a wood plate, but Cylar worldlessly swats their hand away with a ladle. The captain beckons each of you to partake as the first half of the crew devours their meal and return to their posts. The second half of the crew bolts below deck. When Cylar sees Balion, he gestures to the wood plate containing the cod as he pushes a clay mug of ale into his hand.

The second part of the crew finishes their meal as they return to top deck, licking the grease off their fingers. A soft and sudden splorch splorch splorch is followed by a surprised shout interrupts the lull in work. A crewman near the edge of the starboard side struggles against something beyond the railing, and whatever it is, it seems have his right hand, as he frantically pummels it with a club in his left hand. Three other crewmen rush to his aid, and as they do, three deep crimson octopi writhe and slop over the portside railing! Their bulbous, barrel-sized heads jiggle and they contort their way toward Simon and another sailor, who are distracted by the starboard debacle. Their hungry, yellow eyes are divided by a black rectangular pupils.
Knowledge Nature to know the knowledge!
The three portside intruders will be on Simon in moments!

One octopi makes a bite for Simon’s leg…
Bite 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (14) + 5 = 19 Damage 1d3 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3 plus poison.
Grab 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (13) + 5 = 18
…and pulls himself up onto the panicking young man, twisting about his torso and arms!
Another advances on a nearby sailor and its beak lunges for a leg.
Bite 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (15) + 5 = 20 Damage 1d3 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4 plus poison. Grab 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (18) + 5 = 23
The beak buries itself into the sailor’s calf, and then its tentacles overwhelm him as the octopus wraps around his legs and waist.
The last spots a nearby Bolgrith, and before the dwarf could react, it closes the distance and snaps at the dwarf’s knees!
Bite 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (18) + 5 = 23 Damage 1d3 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4 plus poison.

Bolgrith takes 4 damage and needs to make a Fortitude save.

Gorram those are high rolls.

Fort Save 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12

Well this is interesting Bolgrith thinks to himself as the creatures beak cuts into his flesh.

Knowledge (Nature) 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (14) + 5 = 19

For the future, please include saves and knowledge check on your turn, fellas. Thanks. I'll post the NPCs turn in a minute.

EDIT: Sorry, folks. Simon and the sailor are not grappled. The creatures are too small.
Simon’s Fortitude 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5
Sailor’s Fortitude 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (13) + 3 = 16

Simon squeals in pain as he draws his longsword, and swings at the beast. Attack 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8 Damage 1d8 ⇒ 1

The sailor flinches at the bite, and brings his scimitar down. Attack 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 17 Damage 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2
The octopus rolls to one side, and avoids most of the damage.

As the crew moves to help, Captain Rettley shouts for all to return to work, and commands a nearby sailor to take the helm. Drawing a scimitar, he strides to the starboard and attempts to aid his crewman. "You're a disgrace, son. Step aside, I'll cut you free."
Attack 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (3) + 4 = 7 Damage 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 2 = 5, I am disappoint.

The sailor first attacked hammers at the octopus with his club.
Attack 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9 Damage 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2

Recap: Three octopi on the port side of the ship, with one on Simon, one on a sailor, and the other on Bolgrith. One octopus on the starboard side, fighting one sailor and Captain Rettley. You guys are up!

Bolgrith remembers a book he read long ago (and his manners, won't post out of line again. I AM THE SORRY.). Knowing the poison will slow him down more the longer it has to work. The dwarf decides to make quick his aid. He draws his ax and shield and swings at the creature before him.

Dwarven War Ax Attack 1d20 + 2 - 1 ⇒ (13) + 2 - 1 = 14
DwvnWrAx DMG 1d10 + 2 - 1 ⇒ (10) + 2 - 1 = 11

Rolg throws himself into the fray to the aid of Simon, their employer. He seizes the creature by a tentacle and tries to throw it back into the sea.

Reposition 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (20) + 4 = 24

Miss. The octopus' square eye sees the deadly axe, and squashes low to dodge the attack, but only just. The blade skims off a layer of slime.

Bite 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (10) + 5 = 15 Damage 1d3 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3 plus poison.
Simon's assailant snaps at Rolg as it is shouldered overboard, but the jarring movement keeps it from clamping onto the hobgoblin's wrist. Seconds later, the ocean waters da-sloosh as the octopus hits the surface.

Aladdin backs away from the octopi and casts drench on himself. A small cloud appears above his head and starts raining on him and follows his every movement.

Balion bounds up the stairs polearm in hand just in time to see Simon saved by Rolg. Attempting to remember what he knows about octopi.
Knowledge(Nature)1d20 + 7 ⇒ (1) + 7 = 8
Balion decides to run to Bolgriths aid, attempting to run the creature through with his guisarme.
Guisarme Attack 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 20
Guisarme Damage 2d4 + 3 ⇒ (3, 4) + 3 = 10

Balion's guisarme plunges deep into the octopus, which twitches and spams in pain. Its eyes roll and fix onto Balion, and with a sickening gurgle, it shambles under the polearm and snaps at Balion's feet, who pulls his feet back at the last second.
Bite 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13 Damage 1d3 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4 plus poison.

The one on the port side sailor snaps at him again. Bite 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (16) + 5 = 21 Damage 1d3 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4 plus poison.
The sailor tries to push it away with his foot, but it catches his ankle, and bites down hard.

Off the port railing, Rolg sees a dark, inky cloud spread from the splash, and sees no more of the octopus he threw back into the waves.

Bite 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (20) + 5 = 25 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (11) + 5 = 16, Confirmed critical. Damage 1d3 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3 x2 = 6 damage, plus poison.

On the starboard side, the sailor with the club screams in pain.

Port sailor Fortitude 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12
Starboard sailor Fortitude 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10
Simon's Fortitude 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (17) + 1 = 18

Both sailors seem to pale a bit as the poison sets in.

"Dammit! Hold still!" The captain shouts, swinging his scimitar. Attack 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 = 5 Damage 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7

The sailor with the captain shakes himself back to attention and swings hard. Attack 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (5) + 3 = 8 Damage 1d6 ⇒ 5
Well, aren't they just a pair of Sally's...

Simon, nodding a thanks to the hobgoblin, rushes to the aid the sailor nearest him. Attack 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (14) + 5 = 19 Damage 1d8 ⇒ 4
As Simon's sword cuts deep, the weakened sailor brings his scimitar to bear. Attack 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15 Damage 1d6 ⇒ 6

The flanked octopus survives the onslaught, and its red rubbery body seems to quiver in pain ...or is it rage?

You guys are up!

Thinking quickly Bolgrith rushes and grabs a large shank of beef from their lunch. Slapping first one octopus in the face with the mutton, the dwarf hurls the treat overboard. He attempts to skip the meat off of the other creature as it sails into the sea.

Not sure what, if any, rolls I should be making for this...

Oh yeah, Fort Save 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9

FRAKKING HELLION!

Now angered by the injuries inflicted on the crew by the octopi Balion swings his polarm at the squid one more time, in an attempt to finish it off.
Using Power attack. Guisarme Attack 1d20 + 3 - 1 ⇒ (10) + 3 - 1 = 12
Guisarme Damage 2d4 + 3 + 3 ⇒ (4, 3) + 3 + 3 = 13 plus three for Power Attack and plus three for strength modifier while using two-handed weapon?
Did I miss?

...
Odd tactic, Bolgrith, but ok. Roll 1d20 + your DEX mod, see what happens. And take 1 STR damage.

Balion, you will need to step back five feet to use the deadly end of the polearm (because it's a reach weapon, it doesn't threaten the space immediately in front of you). Given the rest of your actions, a five-foot step won't affect anything, we can assume that's what you did.

Balion's anger seems to also cloud his aim, and the head of guisarme whacks against the deck beside the octopus.

Beef Hurler 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (2) + 0 = 2

I hate this game.

As you try to skip it off the other octopus, the beef fumbles in your hand and falls five feet in front of you, directly between you and the scimitar-wielding sailor.

There are two octopi left ya?

Empowered by the rain, Aladdin looks at the remaining Octopi and points. Magical missiles form around his hand and streak toward the monsters, one to each.

Magic Missile to first Octopus. Damage 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4 Trip Attempt 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (18) + 7 = 25

Magic Missile to second Octopus. Damage1d4 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5 Trip Attempt 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (3) + 7 = 10

Toppling Spell Spell with the force descriptor knocks targets prone. Benefit: The impact of your force spell is strong enough to knock the target prone. If the target takes damage, fails its saving throw, or is moved by your force spell, make a trip check against the target, using your caster level plus your casting ability score bonus (Wisdom for clerics, Intelligence for wizards, and so on). This does not provoke an attack of opportunity. If the check fails, the target cannot attempt to trip you or the force effect in response.
A toppling spell only affects spells with the force descriptor. A toppling spell uses up a spell slot one level higher than the spell's actual level.

The octopus between Bolgrith and Balion shudders under the impact of Aladdin's spell, then moves no more. The one between Simon and the sailor collapses as well, lifeless.
After a lull in combat, you notice the captain and the other sailor struggling with the last octopus on the starboard side. Things are not going well for them.

"These two are down! What's left? Kill it already!" Aladdin hollered as he turn to prep another spell if needed.

Rolg charges across the deck toward the captain and his octopus.

"Stand back ye Marys!"

Sword attack (Cold Iron if it matters) 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (5) + 6 = 11 for 1d8 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7

Damn...Also, Bolgrith is cracking me up. "FRAKKING HELION" "i hate this game" LOLOLOL