The Goblin Games/We Be Goblins (Inactive)

Game Master Wolfwaker

Goblin mayhem!


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male Goblin Barbarian Feral Gnasher Lvl 3 HP 27| AC 16| T 12| FF16| CMD 15| F+4| Ref+2|W+2 | Init+5 | Per+7
Spoiler:
melee Great Club +7 att (1d8+3 x2) or Bite +6/+8gr (1d6+2 x2), +2 att improv, Rage 9rnds, HP 29, Will+4| AC14| T 12| FF 13| attacks +2

I have used it I was just checking

Ronk smiles and squeezes Twitchy once more then releases the hug "Many thanks! We will ask Gurp to give you our swamp juju."

He pulls off the monster hat that is dirty from his battle with Squealy Nord and reverently hands it over. With the hat in his hands he sighs and mumbles "We just cleaned you."

He hands the monster hat to Twitchy and stares at it for a moment. He drops his backpack and sets his bonking stick on top of it as well. Then walks off to the mud and jumps into it and rolls around. After a through covering the tired but smiling Ronk walks to the Rusty Earbiter and begins his test.

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 17
Ronk easily moves though the Rusty Earbiter Ronk is Pig King Rusty Earbiter is nothing

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21
At the middle Ronk encounters no problems and the end is in sight As it should be. Soon all shall know my glory!

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4
1d4 - 2 ⇒ (3) - 2 = 1
Paying more attention to his inner monologue than the Rusty Earbiter Ronk gets hung up.

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 10
1d4 - 2 ⇒ (4) - 2 = 2
Ronk is clearly having some issues at the end Why hasn't it released me?

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 2 = 12
1d4 - 2 ⇒ (1) - 2 = -1
Ronk screams in anger, clearly stuck "Let go!"

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 10
1d4 - 2 ⇒ (1) - 2 = -1
Ronk clearly defeated by the Rusty Earbiter turns his head so that he can bite the thing trapping him. We will chew our way out!

1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6

Is Ronk trapped or just wounded?


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Not that it would have made much difference on those rolls but... Did you add in your dex bonus or any ranks from Escape artist here? They would have stacked with the mud.

Perception: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (11) + 4 = 15

"Twitchy hears Ronk's scream.
He's part of best Goblin team!"

Still clutching Ronk's hat, she looks at Gurp, Medge and Flamefinger.

"Any of you got Mojo big
To help the slayer of the pig?"

Knowledge (Arcana) or Spellcraft: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (16) + 7 = 23
Both have the same bonus, not sure which applies.

Twitchy is trying to remember what useful spells she's seen the casters cast that might apply to getting a large barbarian out of this trap.

I can think of a magical way to get him out. Is there a mundane one available? Twitchy does not have knowledge engineering.


male Goblin Barbarian Feral Gnasher Lvl 3 HP 27| AC 16| T 12| FF16| CMD 15| F+4| Ref+2|W+2 | Init+5 | Per+7
Spoiler:
melee Great Club +7 att (1d8+3 x2) or Bite +6/+8gr (1d6+2 x2), +2 att improv, Rage 9rnds, HP 29, Will+4| AC14| T 12| FF 13| attacks +2

Fatigued from the rage so the only bonus is from the mud. But even with it the last four i would have failed

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 8

You should be fatigued for 2x the number of rounds you raged. You can safely assume enough time elapsed since the pig fight.
.
You can keep going, but you didn't beat the time limit. Assume a +2 from someone helping plus don't forget your Dex bonus.


Male Goblin Druid (Swamp Druid) 3 | HP 26/26 | AC 18, touch 13 Flat-footed 15 | CMB +0 | CMD 13 | Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +8 | Perception +10 (+2 when hearing, +1 in swamp)

Gurp rides up to Ronk on Squishy's back. "Stop wiggling! Or Rusty Earbiter...well, bite you ears!" Gurp lets some of the swamp's mojo flow through his hand and into Ronk.

Casting Guidance and trying to help him through.


Init +5 | HP 20/20 | AC +18 | Touch +16 | FF +14 | Fort +1 | Ref +8 | Will +1 | Per + 5
Per day:
SL1 4/4 | Luck 13/13 | Softpaw boots 10/10

Medge has been lying under a tree watching, her rounded belly full of delicious bacon. She now rolls up to her feet. "Ronk get stuck bad! The nasty earbiter is fearsome foe! Good thing Gurp have mighty mojo. When Ronk gets out he'll be very glad"


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

"Thanks, Medge and Gurp! Ronk gotta get out now!"

So... that's: 1 dex, + 1 rank + 2 mud + 1 guidance + 2 Gm gift of group encouragement... That's 7 to add to your roll by my count. Am I missing anything?


male Goblin Barbarian Feral Gnasher Lvl 3 HP 27| AC 16| T 12| FF16| CMD 15| F+4| Ref+2|W+2 | Init+5 | Per+7
Spoiler:
melee Great Club +7 att (1d8+3 x2) or Bite +6/+8gr (1d6+2 x2), +2 att improv, Rage 9rnds, HP 29, Will+4| AC14| T 12| FF 13| attacks +2

i thought it was only six rolls. Infinite sadness, Ronk failed.

[i] ronk owes the swamp lots of thanks![/ooc] With some assistance from his new friends Ronk stops trying to bite his way out.

escape artist: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (18) + 7 = 25


male Goblin Barbarian Feral Gnasher Lvl 3 HP 27| AC 16| T 12| FF16| CMD 15| F+4| Ref+2|W+2 | Init+5 | Per+7
Spoiler:
melee Great Club +7 att (1d8+3 x2) or Bite +6/+8gr (1d6+2 x2), +2 att improv, Rage 9rnds, HP 29, Will+4| AC14| T 12| FF 13| attacks +2

Ronk crawls out looking pleased with himself and promptly hugs Gurp Thousands of thanks! When the swamp needs Ronk we will be there!

After that he races to the water an washes off. Once clean Ronk runs over to Twitchy Thosands of thanks for protecting my monster hat!

With hat back in hand he grabs his other things he runs back to the water, pulls ot soap, and begins to scrub his monster hat clean.


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Male Goblin Druid (Swamp Druid) 3 | HP 26/26 | AC 18, touch 13 Flat-footed 15 | CMB +0 | CMD 13 | Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +8 | Perception +10 (+2 when hearing, +1 in swamp)

Gurp visibly cringes as he gets hugged. "You welcome. Now let Gurp show how it done!" Gurp rolls around on Squishy's back, making sure to lather himself up completely in slime, then dives into the rusty metal deathtrap.

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (3) + 7 = 10

Damage: 1d4 - 2 ⇒ (3) - 2 = 1

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (10) + 7 = 17
Escape Artist: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (20) + 7 = 27
Escape Artist: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (7) + 7 = 14

Damage: 1d4 - 2 ⇒ (2) - 2 = 0

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (5) + 7 = 12

Damage: 1d4 - 2 ⇒ (4) - 2 = 2

Escape Artist: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (9) + 7 = 16

Gurp wriggles through the other side with a few chunks of ear missing. "GURP VICTORIOUS! KNEEL BEFORE SWAMP MOJO!" A few seconds later, his face contorts as if registering the pain late. "Gah! Help me, swamp! It hurt!" He grabs his ears and lets the swamp's powers heal him.

Cure Light Wounds: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (6) + 1 = 7

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 8

Ronk does not escape the Rusty Earbiter in the time limit, but he manages to avoid being trapped there with help from his friends. Grack looks around to see if anyone else dares to try.

Looks like Gurp and Medge did it in 6 rounds each. Flamefinger and Twitchy can try to beat them.
To recap other events,
Twitchy won the pig riding.
Twitchy won the slug eating (by default), then was sorry.
Medge got the honey with much group assistance.
Ronk made his own event and slew the pig.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

May I submit a correction to the GM's summary? Gurp and Twitchy did the challenge in six rounds. Medge and Flamefinger have yet to try it, but both should have a good chance to succeed.

_________

"All hail Mighty Mojo of the Swamp!" Twitchy says to Gurp, beaming.
"You did good, though Earbiter take a chomp!"

Then she looks over at the once again wounded Ronk, washing his hat by the well, and sighs. Why he not stay healed? Magga need hit him again, to make point!

Twitchy brightens at the prospect of seeing Magga hit Ronk with the stick again. Fun!

But maybe better wait until next challenge, when Ronk get injured again. Then Magga can hit him lots!

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 8

Twitchy Boom Boom wrote:

May I submit a correction to the GM's summary? Gurp and Twitchy did the challenge in six rounds. Medge and Flamefinger have yet to try it, but both should have a good chance to succeed.

_________

Sorry, that's right. Twitchy is rocking these events.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

No problem! Yeah, Twitchy has done surprisingly well. High dex and decent knowledge rolls help. Gurp should have done as well as me on the riding and better than me on the Earbiter, but the Paizo dice roller has been unkind to him so far.

Now if you do something where Sense Motive is the key skill, I'm toast! And you'll note that I didn't even try the climb event with my negative strength... I had to do that event vicariously in the role of evil mastermind!

However, Medge and Flamefinger both have the possibility to really outshine on us on the Rusty Earbiter. I'm cheering them on!

___________

Twitchy watches to see if Medge and Flamefinger will give the Rusty Earbiter a try. Medge up for anything, but Flamefinger really proud of his pretty ears... Still, he is tricksy and full of mojo. Anything can happen!


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Male Goblin Druid (Swamp Druid) 3 | HP 26/26 | AC 18, touch 13 Flat-footed 15 | CMB +0 | CMD 13 | Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +8 | Perception +10 (+2 when hearing, +1 in swamp)

Gurp sits on Squishy proudly, still smug from his success. He takes out his bag of slugs and starts rooting through it again. He calls out to the group. "If you want mojo for challenge, Gurp be here naming slugs. Now, you be Squishy Gnome-Eater, and you be Chief Squishy Gutwad..."

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 8

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As night falls and a full moon rises, a light snow starts to fall, and the goblins stare in wonder at the unseasonal event. In the distance, they hear what sounds like bells jingling. The goblins sit down to a wonderful feast at the close of the first day of festivities. A raucous good time is had by all.

Happy holidays all! Everyone finds a masterwork dogslicer, horsechopper, or simple weapon in their stocking.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Aww... Thanks, Santa!

Twitchy looks up as the cold white stuff falls from the sky.

Knowledge (Nature): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (15) + 7 = 22

She raises an eyebrow. Aren't we too far south for this sort of weather?

Perception: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (7) + 4 = 11

Unless someone points them out to her, she won't notice the faint jingling bells. It's only when she steps forward that she notices there is suddenly something very large and heavy in her sock. "Ow!"

Hopping on one foot, she pulls off the sock, awed to see a light mace in there. "How did this even FIT?" She disentangles her torn sock from the weapon before swinging it. Then she swings the mace again. "Is sign! Twitchy destined to find boom!"

Still limping a little, she hooks the mace to her belt and heads back towards the others. Wait until they see what I got!

Then has another thought as she looks around at the light snow, still falling. The weather is warm for snow, so the snow is especially damp and clumpy. She squeezes some in her hand, rolling it until it forms a little ball. She grins as she forms more snowballs and runs off to find the rest of her team.

This will be fun!

__________

Are we really at the end of day one? Or is this just a sweet holiday fantasy interlude?


male Goblin Barbarian Feral Gnasher Lvl 3 HP 27| AC 16| T 12| FF16| CMD 15| F+4| Ref+2|W+2 | Init+5 | Per+7
Spoiler:
melee Great Club +7 att (1d8+3 x2) or Bite +6/+8gr (1d6+2 x2), +2 att improv, Rage 9rnds, HP 29, Will+4| AC14| T 12| FF 13| attacks +2

As the foreign white stuff begins to fall Ronk yells and maneuvers his bag over his head to protect the newly cleaned monster hat and races for cover in his home.

Perception: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (18) + 5 = 23

Once safe Rock notices that he was the only Goblin to flee and that everyone else is enjoying a wonderful meal (his victory without him!) Ronk pulls off the monster hat and shoves it under his armor. He drops off his bag. Once certain that his precious monster hat will not fall out Ronk notices a big lump in a man sock he found a few months ago.

Perception: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (19) + 5 = 24

He pulls out a shiny morning star. How did this happen? The man sock must be magical! Ronk shoves the man sock under his armor with the monster hat. With a big smile on his face Ronk runs back out to rejoin his tribe in their festivities and to show off his new shiny bonking stick!


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Twitchy is covered, head to toe, in snow. She is in a snowball fight with some kids who are also covered head to toe in snow. She throws...

Snowball Attack!: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6

...and misses!

Unlike most of Twitchy's throws, this one flies high over the kids' heads. The kids jeer.

"Bah! Bad snowball! Not balanced properly!" Twitchy waves Ronk over, gesturing to a pile of snowballs beside her. "Ronk, you on my team! Snowball fight! Help me show them how it's done!"

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 8

Ronk Bonk wrote:


He pulls out a shiny morning star.

Oh, you could get a greatclub instead if you like.


male Goblin Barbarian Feral Gnasher Lvl 3 HP 27| AC 16| T 12| FF16| CMD 15| F+4| Ref+2|W+2 | Init+5 | Per+7
Spoiler:
melee Great Club +7 att (1d8+3 x2) or Bite +6/+8gr (1d6+2 x2), +2 att improv, Rage 9rnds, HP 29, Will+4| AC14| T 12| FF 13| attacks +2

Ronk grabs a mouth full of victory bacon and runs over. He makes a ball of snow and throws it at a Goblin Child.

Snowball: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (3) + 3 = 6

His snowball goes very wide. And Ronk screams in rage!

Yes millions of yes! I have a master work great club. Can it have carvings on it of squished heads?

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 8

Ronk Bonk wrote:


Yes millions of yes! I have a master work great club. Can it have carvings on it of squished heads?

Sure, whatever you want it to look like.

The goblin children (goblets?) pelt Ronk and Twitchy with snowballs.

vs. Ronk: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (11) + 2 = 13
vs. Ronk: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 2 = 12
vs. Ronk: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9

vs. Twitchy: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9
vs. Twitchy: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (16) + 2 = 18 oof!
vs. Twitchy: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 2 = 12


male Goblin Barbarian Feral Gnasher Lvl 3 HP 27| AC 16| T 12| FF16| CMD 15| F+4| Ref+2|W+2 | Init+5 | Per+7
Spoiler:
melee Great Club +7 att (1d8+3 x2) or Bite +6/+8gr (1d6+2 x2), +2 att improv, Rage 9rnds, HP 29, Will+4| AC14| T 12| FF 13| attacks +2

Ronk retaliates

Snowball: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 3 = 23

And he hits a Goblet between its beady red eyes! And that little Gobs is how it is done!

Yes! Victory!


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Snowball: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (13) + 5 = 18

"Yes!" shouts Twitchy, "Ronk brings me luck! Take that, you kneebiters!"

Did the offer extend to a crossbow with ammo? (I couldn't imagine one of those in a sock...)

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 8

If you like--might have to be a sock you aren't wearing. :)


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

A sock I'm not wearing? Where's the fun in that? I suppose that I could still have a sock from the dead alchemist from my backstory... Okay, I cannot resist. I'll revise things a little so that Twitchy got a cool crossbow with some ammo hanging in the stocking instead.

Thank you, GM. I'll update Twitchy's resources to reflect the new treasure!

Is this the end of the first night? Will Medge and Flamefinger still be able to assay the earbiter when they return from their holiday celebrations?

_____________

Twitchy and Ronk leap up and down with each victorious snowball.

Snowball: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (11) + 5 = 16

"Ronk and Twitchy, they have won!
Teach the goblets how it's done!"


male Goblin Barbarian Feral Gnasher Lvl 3 HP 27| AC 16| T 12| FF16| CMD 15| F+4| Ref+2|W+2 | Init+5 | Per+7
Spoiler:
melee Great Club +7 att (1d8+3 x2) or Bite +6/+8gr (1d6+2 x2), +2 att improv, Rage 9rnds, HP 29, Will+4| AC14| T 12| FF 13| attacks +2

Ronk loudly proclaims Because we is heroes! and he launches another snowball

Snowball: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4

And some how while swinging he shoves the snowball in his face.

I was wondering when this would happen. And Ronk loves his new and engraved bonking stick.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 8

Yes, the day is coming to a close but the contests will continue "tomorrow" (i.e. whenever everyone is ready).

Anyone have craft (snow sculpture)?


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Huh. For some reason, Craft (Snow Sculpture) is missing from Twitchy's skill list. However, it is an int skill, so let's give it a shot.

_______________

Twitchy helps Ronk dust the snow off his face. "Wanna make a Snow Goblin?" She starts rolling snow balls that are too large to throw, and starts piling it on.

She'll even let the goblets help, if they've gotten tired of throwing snowballs.

Craft (Snow Sculpture): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20

"Hey, this looks just like our mighty goblin Chief"!

(The squat snowman does bear a pretty good resemblance to his Mighty Girthness, double chins and all.)


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male Goblin Barbarian Feral Gnasher Lvl 3 HP 27| AC 16| T 12| FF16| CMD 15| F+4| Ref+2|W+2 | Init+5 | Per+7
Spoiler:
melee Great Club +7 att (1d8+3 x2) or Bite +6/+8gr (1d6+2 x2), +2 att improv, Rage 9rnds, HP 29, Will+4| AC14| T 12| FF 13| attacks +2

Do you wanna bonk a snowgoblin?
Come on lets go and play
I never bonk you anymore
Come on lets bonk them all

Swear that you wont stray
Bonking with me is never a chore!
Lets get into a brawl!
Do you wanna bonk a snowgoblin?

Imagine that movie but with Goblins! Anna was totally a barbarian.

Ronk attempts to make a snow sculpture of the creature that he thinks his monster mask is

Craft(Snow Sculpture): 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (16) + 1 = 17

What seems like forever, to a Goblin, later Ronk stands before a oddly shaped Goblin with a strange looking face.
because to Ronk all great creatures resemble Goblins!


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Ronk, I love it! We obviously have strong overlap in our favorite musicals.
_________________

Twitchy decides to make another one, this one on a horizontal axis rather than a vertical one.

Craft (Snow Sculpture): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (15) + 3 = 18

"Look, it's Squishy!"

____________

Wolfwaker, if we're resting for the night, I'm going to heal Twitchy's hit point damage.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 8

It doesn't have to be a goblin.


male Goblin Barbarian Feral Gnasher Lvl 3 HP 27| AC 16| T 12| FF16| CMD 15| F+4| Ref+2|W+2 | Init+5 | Per+7
Spoiler:
melee Great Club +7 att (1d8+3 x2) or Bite +6/+8gr (1d6+2 x2), +2 att improv, Rage 9rnds, HP 29, Will+4| AC14| T 12| FF 13| attacks +2

yes it does... Imagine that in a quiet singing voice


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male Goblin Barbarian Feral Gnasher Lvl 3 HP 27| AC 16| T 12| FF16| CMD 15| F+4| Ref+2|W+2 | Init+5 | Per+7
Spoiler:
melee Great Club +7 att (1d8+3 x2) or Bite +6/+8gr (1d6+2 x2), +2 att improv, Rage 9rnds, HP 29, Will+4| AC14| T 12| FF 13| attacks +2

The snow glows bright in the swamp tonight
Not a Squealy to be seen
A festival of bacon
And it looks like I'm the king

The snow is falling like the Squealy Nord did
Couldn't ride the Squealy, heaven knows I tried.

Dont let the win, it has to be me
Be the good Goblin you have always been!
Have faith, they didn't know.
But they finally know!

lLet us Bonk! Let us Bonk!
Ronk will be known!
Let us Bonk! Let us Bonk!
Licktoads will know our pride!

we really care what they say
Ronk will go down in history
Let the festival rage on
This worship is what we wanted anyways

It's funny how this competition
Keeps making Ronk fail
And yet Ronk is still the hero
None can trump my triumph!

It's time to see what Ronk can do
Test Flamefingers patience and steal Medges peg leg
No right, no wrong, no thousands go swamp curses for me!

Let us Bonk! Let us Bonk!
We are one with the snow and the swamp
Let us Bonk! Let us Bonk!
Rocks glory will never die!

Here Ronk stands
And with Gurp he will stay
With swamp juju on his side

Twitchy's bombs go whizzing through the air
There' are explosions everywhere!
Medge has killed a tree and Flamefinger sets fire to all
Gurp names some slugs
All shall fear Dread Overking Squishy!

Let us Bonk! Let us Bonk!
Ronk'so glory is rising like the sun
Let us Bonk! Let us Bonk!
Ronk, Goblin Hero is here!

Here Ronk stands
In the light of the moon
Let the swamp juju rage on
The thousand of swam curses never bothered Ronk anyways!


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

:: Claps! ::

Ronk, your next character should totally be a bard.


male Goblin Barbarian Feral Gnasher Lvl 3 HP 27| AC 16| T 12| FF16| CMD 15| F+4| Ref+2|W+2 | Init+5 | Per+7
Spoiler:
melee Great Club +7 att (1d8+3 x2) or Bite +6/+8gr (1d6+2 x2), +2 att improv, Rage 9rnds, HP 29, Will+4| AC14| T 12| FF 13| attacks +2

Thank you Twitchy! I love bards, that is so far the only 3.5 class I have ever played. Sadly singing in real time as a bard is a lot of work. Just like the rhyming. It works so much better in play by post. That took like an hour. Most due to the drunk friend playing skyrim and being hilarious. He kept making suggestions while role-playing his Orc Necromancer in Skyrim. Drunk people are funny.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 8

Bravo Ronk, I am awarding you a free reroll to use anytime.


male Goblin Barbarian Feral Gnasher Lvl 3 HP 27| AC 16| T 12| FF16| CMD 15| F+4| Ref+2|W+2 | Init+5 | Per+7
Spoiler:
melee Great Club +7 att (1d8+3 x2) or Bite +6/+8gr (1d6+2 x2), +2 att improv, Rage 9rnds, HP 29, Will+4| AC14| T 12| FF 13| attacks +2

Much thanks!


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Well-deserved!

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 8

Medge and Flamefinger can still try the Rusty Earbiter. Rules are on previous page.
I may be kind of slow with postings this week--finishing up a lot of stuff at work in preparation for a trip.


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Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

The scene... a sleepy little village where everyone is waking up. The sun rises, songbirds sing, and a cackling goblin shoots one with a sling. Out of nowhere, an orchestra starts up, but oddly no one sets fire to it. Yet.

A skinny female goblin leading a giant vulture walks into the center of town, yawning as she meets her team.

___________________________________

TWITCHY

Licktoad town; It's a raucous village.
Ev'ry day
Like the one before
Licktoad town
Full of Licktoad Goblins
Waking up to start...

TOWNSFOLK

Bonfires! Bonfires! Bonfires! Bonfires! Bonfires!

TWITCHY

There goes Magga with her stick, like always
Waiting to thwack poor Ronk again
Ev'ry morning just the same
Since the Gobfest where we came
To compete in this poor goblin town

MAGGA

Morning, Twitchy!

TWITCHY

Morning, Magga.

MAGGA

And where are you off to, today?

TWITCHY

The contest!
We just finished traversing the earbiter
With nasty wires and cutting bits and mud and -

MAGGA

That's nice. Hey kids!
The tinder!
Hurry up!

TOWNSFOLK

Look there she goes that gob is strange, no question
Plotting and planning, can't you tell?

FEMALE GOBLIN

'Cause her bombs are quite loud

MALE GOBLIN

And her bird's up on some cloud

TOWNSFOLK

No denying she's a pyro gob as well

MALE GOBLIN I

Bonfires!

FEMALE GOBLIN I

They smoke!

MALE GOBLIN I

How they are burning!

FEMALE GOBLIN 2

Bonfires!

MALE GOB 1

They smoke!

FEMALE GOB 2

Come see the light!

FEMALE GOB 3

I need six bombs!

FEMALE GOB 4

That's so explosive!

TWITCHY

There must be more than this combustive life!

GRACK

Morning, Twitchy.

TWITCHY

Morning, Grack.
We're ready for the next part of the contest.

GRACK

Finished already?

TWITCHY

Oh, we couldn't stop ourselves!
Have you got anything new?

GRACK

Not since yesterday.

TWITCHY (to team):

Nothing new?
Let's blow up. . . . . Grack's house!

MEDGE

That one?
But you've burned it twice!

TWITCHY

Well, it's my favorite!
Far off distance, sneaking around, screaming Grack, chaos everywhere -

RONK

If you like it all that much, let's go!

TWITCHY

For reals?!

GURP

Heh, heh. We insist.

TWITCHY

Thank you.
Thank you very much!

TOWNSFOLK

Look there they go that team is so obsessive
(As the goblin chorus we can tell)
With a cunning, sneaking look
And all the tinder that they took
They're off to burn Grack's house to hell

TWITCHY

Oh, isn't this amazing?
It's my fav'rite part because --- you'll see
Here's where Twitchy fires the thatching
But Grack won't discover that it's all been done by me!

FEMALE GOB

Now it's no wonder that her name means "fireworks"
Her bombs have got no parallel

MEDGE

But behind poor Grack's facade
Twitchy's tossed a smoking wad

MALE GOB

Much more pyro than the rest of us

TOWNSFOLK

They're pyro like the rest of us
Yes, pyro like the rest of us -- do tell!

GRACK

Your Mighty Girthness!
I'm readying the next challenge, Chief Gutwad!
We'll have the greatest contest in the whole world!

CHIEF GUTWAD

I know.

GRACK

No gob alive stands a chance against you. ---
And no team, for that matter.

CHIEF GUTWAD

It's true, Grack.
And I've got my sights set on that one.

GRACK

The team that killed Squealy?

CHIEF GUTWAD

That's the one - the lucky team I'll be hiring.

GRACK

But they're -

CHIEF GUTWAD

The most pyro team in town.

GRACK

I know, but -

CHIEF GUTWAD

That makes them the best.
And don't I deserve the best?

GRACK

They're burning my house!

CHIEF GUTWAD

Right from the moment when I met them, saw them
I said they're ruthless and I fell
Here in town there's only they
In their pyrotechnic way
So I'm making plans to send them and their beasts as well!

GOBLIN PREGENS

Look there he goes -- Isn't he obese?
Chieftain Gutwad
Oh he's immense!
With all that weight, he's hardly breathing
He's such a short, green, fat and gruesome brute!

FEMALE GOB 1

Bonfire!

CHIEF GUTWAD

It smokes!

FLAMEFINGER

Great day

RONK

The fires!

FEMALE GOB 3

You call this bacon?

FEMALE GOB 4

What lovely flames!

MEDGE

There goes

GURP

The house!

MALE GOB 1

A fire!

GRACK

'scuse me!

FLAMEFINGER

I'll get more fuel

GRACK

Please let me through!

FEMALE GOB 6

Those flames -

FEMALE GOB 7

That smoke -

GRACK

My house!

FEMALE GOB

Ablaze!

MALE GOBS

We're not mistaken.

FEMALE GOBS

Is there more bacon?

TOWNSFOLK

It's burning!
Really burning!

TWITCHY

There must be more than this combustive life!

CHIEF GUTWAD

Just watch,
I'll give that team my knife!

TOWNSFOLK

Look there they go
The team is strange and pyro
A most peculiar set of gobs!

FEMALE GOBS

It's a pity and a sin

MALE GOBS

That they fit right in

TOWNSFOLK

'Cause they really are a pyro team
A bombing, scheming pyro team
They really are a pyro team
Those gobs!

___________________________

"Ow!" Twitchy wakes up as Fluffer, her vulture birdie, pecks her.

"Bah, not another singing dream! " She groans and looks outside. "Guess we'd better go find our team."

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 8

That was inspired. I'm awarding Twitchy a free reroll too.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

Thank you. To be honest, I was only going to do the initial chorus, but once I started, I couldn't stop myself. The whole song just bizarrely fit. The funniest things were all the lines that I didn't change at all. Did you realize that they actually had a bacon line in the original song?


male Goblin Barbarian Feral Gnasher Lvl 3 HP 27| AC 16| T 12| FF16| CMD 15| F+4| Ref+2|W+2 | Init+5 | Per+7
Spoiler:
melee Great Club +7 att (1d8+3 x2) or Bite +6/+8gr (1d6+2 x2), +2 att improv, Rage 9rnds, HP 29, Will+4| AC14| T 12| FF 13| attacks +2

You just had to show me up huh?.. I jest that was good and so many less typos than mine. Supposed to be swamp not heavens and letters are missing everywhere. Though Ronk cant read and that's my excuse! And it's addicting isn't it? I only intended the choruse and bam, whole song. Better than mine. But the longer it takes to start back up the more I will do.


Female Goblin Alchemist (Winged Marauder) 3 | HP 23/23 | AC 18 | T 14 | FF 15 | CMD 13 | F +4 | R +6 (+8 vs falls) | W +1 | Init +3 | Per +6
Resources:
20 bullets | 20 bolts | 6/6 bombs | 3 elixirs

I could never show you up, Ronk! Don't worry about the typos. This is for our own enjoyment. Still, if you decide to do another musical number, I'll eagerly read it. It's been fun doing these and the rude songs! (Besides, that may be the closest Twitchy gets to come to setting Grack's house on fire.)


male Goblin Barbarian Feral Gnasher Lvl 3 HP 27| AC 16| T 12| FF16| CMD 15| F+4| Ref+2|W+2 | Init+5 | Per+7
Spoiler:
melee Great Club +7 att (1d8+3 x2) or Bite +6/+8gr (1d6+2 x2), +2 att improv, Rage 9rnds, HP 29, Will+4| AC14| T 12| FF 13| attacks +2

Nestled warm in his bed Ronk sleeps curled around his apparently magical man sock and his new bonking stick. One hand grips the edge of his monster mask and he smiles in his sleep.

This is just one part of his dream

Ronk sees Flamefinger walking just ahead of his on his way home and Ronk runs up to Flamefinger.

Ronk:
(Spoken) Flamefinger, now that we're friends, We've decided to make you our new project!

Flamefinger:
(Spoken) You really don't have to do that...

Ronk:
(Spoken) We know, that's what makes me so nice!

(Sung)
Whenever WE see someone less powerful than Us,
And let's face it, who isn't less powerful than Us?
My Goblin heart becomes sad.
And when someone is a total zero,
We can teach them to a true hero!
We know, We know when we are done they will be very glad!

And even in your case,
Though it's the toughest case We've yet to face,
Don't worry, We’re determined to succeed!
Follow our lead,
And yes indeed, you will be...

Bonktackular!
You're gonna be a hero!
We'll teach you the bonking stance,
With any Goblin you will have a chance,
Little ways to bonk and bash,
ooh!
We'll show you what sticks to swing!
How to be a Pig King!
Everthing that really counts to be...

Bonktackular!
I'll help you be hero!
You'll hang with the right minions;
You'll have the best opinions,
Know the Goblins you've got to know.
So let's start,
'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go!

Don't be offended by my frank analysis,
Think of it as personality dialysis,
Now that We've chosen to become a
Pal, a brother and advisor,
There's nobody wiser!
Not when it comes to...

Bonktackular!
I know about a hero.
and with an assist from us,
to be who you'll be,
instead of the coward who you were...
Well, are.
There's nothing that can stop you,
from becoming bonk-tack...u...lar!

ba ba ba ba!
We're gonna make you a big damn hero!

When We see fearful critters,
They really give us the jitters,
Wr remind them on their own behalf
To - think - of
Celebrated Chiefs of Licktoads,
Or specially powerful heros of old!
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make us laugh!

They were Bonktackular!
Please!
It's not about being a prude.
It's all about being crude,
It's all about the way you're viewed,
So it's very shrewd to be,
Very very Bonktackular
like ME!

(Spoken) Ronk puts a green monster mask on Flamefingers head and smiles Why, Flamefinger, look at you. you're better!

Flamefinger:
(Spoken) I, I have to go... and he flees Ronks presence

Ronk:
(Spoken) You're welcome...

(Sung)
And though you protest,
Your disinterest,
We know clandestinely,
You're gonna grin and bear it!
Your new found friendship with us!
Aah!

Ba ba ba ba!
You'll be great!
Just not quite as worshiped as US!


male Goblin Barbarian Feral Gnasher Lvl 3 HP 27| AC 16| T 12| FF16| CMD 15| F+4| Ref+2|W+2 | Init+5 | Per+7
Spoiler:
melee Great Club +7 att (1d8+3 x2) or Bite +6/+8gr (1d6+2 x2), +2 att improv, Rage 9rnds, HP 29, Will+4| AC14| T 12| FF 13| attacks +2
Twitchy Boom Boom wrote:
I could never show you up, Ronk! Don't worry about the typos. This is for our own enjoyment. Still, if you decide to do another musical number, I'll eagerly read it. It's been fun doing these and the rude songs! (Besides, that may be the closest Twitchy gets to come to setting Grack's house on fire.)

I know I was joking. I am having a blast with the songs. But the former English major in me cringes at my failing. And to be noted remembering to always type in we and our like Ronk is difficult. After work I will do one for someone else. Ronk wants a group of heroes with him. And maybe later we can set Gracks house on fire. Don't rule that out yet!


Init +5 | HP 20/20 | AC +18 | Touch +16 | FF +14 | Fort +1 | Ref +8 | Will +1 | Per + 5
Per day:
SL1 4/4 | Luck 13/13 | Softpaw boots 10/10

Sneaky Medge is too fast for the GM. I want a crack at the earbitter!

Medge has been lying under a tree, happily sleeping in a bacon coma. She comes to with a sudden start. "SNORT-huh...wha's this?" She brushes the snow off herself and discovers a fancy new dogslicer that someone left on top of her. Finders keepers! Medge shoves the new dogslicer under her belt with a look of glee on her face. She starts talking to her pet toad "Lookit Bandana, we gots a shiny new weapon! Someone was super duper impressed with our awesomeness and they gave us something new to stab with. We need to do something to celebrate.... She looks around the camp before spotting the earbiter. "Aha! We celebrate by showing off how awesome we are, we conquer silly earbitter. Medge all but prances up to the edge of the fearsome contraption. "Ok Bandana, you stay safe under your hat. Filling her lungs with as much air as possible the little goblin shouts "HEY EVERYBODY, CHECK THIS OUT!. She quickly rolls through the big puddle of mud. Covered in the stuff, she skips to the earbitter's entrance.

escape artist: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (15) + 10 = 25
Medge dances through the first part. "Easy peasy! Earbitter has nothing on me!
escape artist: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (9) + 10 = 19
Medge adds a few dance moves as she goes
escape artist: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (8) + 10 = 18
Medge moves quickly through the earbitter, clearly showing off
acrobatics: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 27
She exits the earbitter by doing a series of cartwheels and flips. Medge lands in a crouching position with her hands in the air

"TADA" She shouts. "I hope someone saw that! she thinks.


Male Goblin Druid (Swamp Druid) 3 | HP 26/26 | AC 18, touch 13 Flat-footed 15 | CMB +0 | CMD 13 | Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +8 | Perception +10 (+2 when hearing, +1 in swamp)

Gurp looks up from his slugs just long enough to give an unenthusiastic "Woo."


"Look everyone, Medge has beat the earbitter." booms Chief Gutwad
Many cheers arise from the goblins and goblets around.
-Ben Licktoad, Son of the Great Wolfwaker

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