The Goblin Games/We Be Goblins (Inactive)

Game Master Wolfwaker

Twitchy eyes the nest from a distance, still thinking. Does it look lighter than five pounds?

Ronk is left staring after Twitchy with a look of awe, the healing potion forgotten in his hands. We picked a mate who is better and more heroic than Us! We is so proud of Ourselves!

Twitchy glances over at Ronk from her vulture. Why is Ronk staring at me like that with his mouth open? Why hasn't he taken his potion yet?

Untrained Sense Motive: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (4) + 0 = 4
Yes, another stunning Sense Motive roll from Twitchy!

Oh no! Maybe he got hit in the head with that hoof worse than I thought!

"Medge, make sure Ronk drinks that potion! He need it!"

At Twitchy's words Ronk realizes he should drink the potion his soon to be mate gave him.

potion cure lt wounds: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (5) + 1 = 6so much better the rage will have to wait I suppose

Ronk smiles and stashes the empty bottle in his bag.

Twitchy surveys the deck, the two nasty little barking dogs, and the hornet's nest whose weight she estimates to be 2-3 pounds.

I bet Flamefinger can move it without touching the thing... Let's get that hornet's nest out of the way, and give the barky bitey dogs have something to worry about other than US.

Turning to look at Flamefinger, she calls:

"Flamefinger, use your Mojo Hand!*
With it, grab the bitey Hornet's hive!
Direct the hive to where I've planned
For nasty bugs to eat the dogs alive!"

On top of Fluffer, Twitchy directs Flamefinger's mage hand so that it drops the hornet's nest on top of the dogs.

Hopefully with both of us out of range of the swarm.

_____________________

* Mage Hand Cantrip

Nice plan.

Flamefinger, guided by Twitchy, drops the hornets right in the midst of the barking dogs. The mutts bark all the louder, rolling and writhing to try to get the insects off. As Medge circles, after a few moments, she sees that they lie in a corner whimpering as the breeze blows the wasps away.

Just then, a door in the cabin opens, and a frightening, shaggy goblin appears wearing rags and patchwork leather armor, with a floppy wide-brimmed hat. Even at a distance, you sense her stare upon you. It can only be the witch Vorka! She comes out the door and scrabbles up the wall of the cabin in a spider-like fashion, before perching on top and casting a spell in the direction of Twitchy.

fluffer Will save: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8

The vulture suddenly starts hissing and squawking and flying erratically, trying to shake Medge off and gaining altitude.

Depending on what you do here, make an acrobatics, ride, or handle animal check at DC 13. You are some 20 feet up at this point, or 10 feet off the deck if you want to jump there.

If Medge were up here with me, Fluffer couldn't fly! She's safe on the ground still!

__________________

As Twitchy rises into the air on a bucking, hissing Fluffer, she brings her knees in expertly, and strokes Fluffer's feathered ruff. She whispers, "Easy Fluffer, it's me."

Ride: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (9) + 11 = 20

Twitchy barely makes the "Control Mount in Battle" DC and stays aloft, straightening out Fluffer's flight and halting the upward progress.

Handle Animal on One's Own Companion: 1d20 + 7 + 4 ⇒ (4) + 7 + 4 = 15

"Exclusive!"

Grateful that she taught Fluffer this trick, Twitchy reminds Fluffer to listen only to Twitchy!

Then she glares at Vorka. First she tries to control Fluffer, and then she dares to wear a floppy hat like MINE?

"Think to knock Twitchy from the sky?
Nice try, Vorka, but your spell missed!
Friends, it's time for the witch to die
Help me fight 'cause Twitchy's pissed!"

Bomb Attack vs Touch AC: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13
Damage: 1d6 + 3 ⇒ (5) + 3 = 8

__________________________

Initiative Time?

Once seeing Fluffer's irratic flying and Twitchy correct it Ronk pulls his heart out of his throat and screams You Die Now! He runs full speed at Vorak.

Rage will happen as soon as Ronk gets to her

Just realized that Spellcraft is a free action (now that I'm rereading the rules).

Spellcraft: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (15) + 7 = 22

Twitchy thinks back to the spell she just saw Vorka cast on her beloved birdie. What was it?

Sorry, wrong goblin!

Twitchy soothes Fluffer and gets him flying straight again. Her bomb hits Vorka in her floppy hat, causing a fireball and cloud of black smoke, but the witch shakes her fist and starts chanting another spell.

Spell was Charm Animal

Twitchy: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9
Medge: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 4 = 16
Gurp: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (3) + 3 = 6
Flamefinger: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22
Ronk: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (11) + 1 = 12
Vorka: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7
?: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7

Bold may act. Ronk charges up the gangplank but Vorka is now atop the small cabin. He will need to climb to reach her, although there are enough loose boards it is not too difficult. [dc 10]

Flamefinger.
Medge
Ronk (moved)
Twitchy (bombed)
Vorka
?
Gurp

Can I double move to get to her? And Ronk fears no climbing there is a Goblin he wants to Bonk to death.

Wolfwaker, I see that I hit Vorka... Did I scuff her at all with that bomb? That was near max damage for Twitchy. If it didn't affect her, if she has some resistance to fire, I'll have to try another strategy.

Ronk, my Goblin Hero! Climb and get her for me!

You hit her (just barely) and hurt her but she is still in good health.

Without drawing a map, I'm going to say a double move gets you up onto the deck.

Medge follows Ronk up the gangplank.

Is this a double move or can I roll for the climb check?

Double move up the gangplank, don't need to roll climb. (Not sure if I said different previously.)

Flamefinger follows behind the others. The witch chants from the top of the cabin. From within the cabin, a giant frog hops out and tries to grab Flamefinger with its tongue.

grab: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (10) + 5 = 15
grapple: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (3) + 7 = 10

The sticky tongue hits, but does not maintain a hold.

Though she is known as a witch, Gurp identifies her as a druid from the language of her chanting.

Gurp
Begin Round 2....
Flamefinger.
Medge
Ronk
Twitchy
Vorka
Frog

Twitchy calls to his comrades, "Be careful! She using knockoff swamp mojo!" He slaps Squishy's rear end with the power of the swamp, then moves halfway up the gangplank.

CLW: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

Squishy slithers up the gangplank with all the speed his foot can muster. Double move.

Assuming that this is block initiative, meaning that everyone can act in Round 2 who is going before Vorka and Frog.

Spellcraft: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (17) + 7 = 24

Twitchy wonders what sort of knock-off swamp mojo Vorka's casting now.

What's the spell?

"She's casting! Let's disrupt her before she casts her knock-off mojo!"

If I can throw before Ronk gets into melee with her, this bomb goes against Vorka. If not, Twitchy throws it on the frog.

Bomb Attack vs Touch AC: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (12) + 5 = 17
Bomb Damage: 1d6 + 3 ⇒ (3) + 3 = 6

"Uh...disrupt..." Medge looks through her pockets. Nothing seems useful! But then she remembers she's wearing the Chief's fancy robe. She has a wonderful idea!

"PREPARE TO FACE MEDGE'S FIERCE TURTLE WARRIOR" She shouts at the top of her lungs as she rips off the turtle patch.

concentration: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (14) + 5 = 19

As Squishy charges in slow motion up the ramp, Twitchy hits Vorka dead center with a bomb, sending up another acrid cloud. The witch maintains her concentration even though she is obviously hurt. From holes in the deck, a swarm of rats comes forth and rushes toward the goblins.

As Medge rips off the patch, it becomes a pineapple-sized turtle in her hand.

Medge, I will just count that as a move action.

Ronk climbs up the cabin and prepares to take a swipe at Vorka with his big bonking stick. As he climbs up she pokes at him with a scimitar.

AoO: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (5) + 3 = 8

The stab misses and he whacks at her. The club misses, and he follows up with a bite, which also misses.

greatclub: 1d8 + 4 ⇒ (7) + 4 = 11
bite: 1d8 - 1 ⇒ (6) - 1 = 5

waiting on Flamefinger and Medge.

Medge stares at the small turtle in her hands. "But...what...why is turtle so small? UGH" She tucks the turtle under her arm. With her other she pulls out a dart and throws it at Vorka.

Dart: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (11) + 5 = 16
Damage: 1d3 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0

extra round for Ronk due to the ring of climb real good, rage and bull's strength activated.

bonk: 1d8 + 8 ⇒ (8) + 8 = 16

Ronk takes a ferocious swipe at Vorka, but it glances off her magically toughened skin.

Vorka
Frog
Gurp
Begin Round 3
Flamefinger
Medge
Ronk
Twitchy

Vorka leaps off the cabin and starts climbing the mast in an insectlike manner. At the same time, rats start pouring forth from holes in the deck. They crawl over Gurp and Squishy, Medge, and Flamefinger.

Swarm damage

Medge: 1d4 ⇒ 1
Gurp: 1d4 ⇒ 4
Squishy: 1d4 ⇒ 3
Flamefinger: 1d4 ⇒ 3
DC 12 Fort or nauseated 1 round

The frog, meanwhile, tries to zap Twitchy with its tongue as she flies in low, but the bird flies out of reach.
frog tongue: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (6) + 5 = 11

Ronk gets AoO on Vorka

Assume you know instinctively the characteristics for swarms...automatic hits, half damage from slashing/piercing weapons (since they are tiny), 1.5x damage from splash weapons, etc. It takes up 4 squares of area.

extra round for Ronk due to the ring of climb real good, rage and bull's strength activated.

[dice=bonk]d8+8

Ronk takes a ferocious swipe at Vorka, but it glances off her magically toughened skin.

I am curious why you rolled the d8 and not the D20 for an attack and Ronk drank the potion which gave 6HP back bringing it to 11/13HP

Yous think you can run from Ronk why you try to kill his Gob! Yous die now!

bonking: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 12
Ronk is sorry for what ever Gurp did to your cat!

Wolfwaker wrote:

extra round for Ronk due to the ring of climb real good, rage and bull's strength activated.

d8+8

Ronk takes a ferocious swipe at Vorka, but it glances off her magically toughened skin.

I am curious why you rolled the d8 and not the D20 for an attack and Ronk drank the potion which gave 6HP back bringing it to 11/13HP

Sorry, both my mistakes. I'll reroll the attack but with a guaranteed hit and with rage/bull's strength.

bonk: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 27
dmg: 1d8 + 6 ⇒ (7) + 6 = 13

Vorka is bleeding and quite obviously injured, but she is still screaming threats at you as she climbs. "No gobs come in my house. You all die!" she screeches, then throws her head back and hisses.

Wolfwaker, I need some help knowing where everyone is. I have a bomb that could take out the swarm, or could be thrown against the witch. Is the swarm on top of my friends? If I shout for them to move out of the way, and ready, can I throw the bomb at the swarm without hitting them?

Is Squishy really down? Gurp had given Squishy back 5 hit points with a CLW spell earlier. Then the slug moved up the Ramp, which indicates she must have been positive hitpoints then. The slug only took 3 damage, so she should still be up and moving, rather than at -7, right? Can Squishy be gotten out of there? Her movement speed is 20 feet. I'd hate to take out the swarm by killing Squishy... Gurp would never forgive me.

Finally, is Ronk still in melee against Vorka, or has she climbed out of his reach again? If she's climbed out of his reach, the witch is getting another bomb to the face before she can cast again.

"Retreat from the swarm! Gurp, get Squishy out of there! Ronk, just grapple her so she stops casting!"

Since I am going to be gone for the weekend, I suppose I'd best give you my post now so that I don't hold up others. On her turn, Twitchy will throw a bomb. Twitchy has the following priority for targets:

1. The Swarm -- If her friends can get out of the way first. If not, then...

2. Vorka -- Bomb to the face, if friends are still in swarm and Ronk is not in melee. If not, then...

3. The Frog.

Bomb Attack: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (10) + 5 = 15
damage: 1d6 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7

"Evil witch with floppy hat
And that swarm made of rat
And that frog who's way too fat
Take that! Take that! Take that!"

Medge can sing the swarm to sleep, assuming she can cast the spell somewhere where it won't hit her friends

If you sleep the swarm, I'll bomb Vorka's face. She can't have *that* many hit points left...

please sing them to sleep with lyrics. And the pity bonk song is slow going but like Ronk it might be worth the wait. Or just really bad. My best friends wedding has taken over my life and free time.

There comes a time in every musical comedy when the action stops for the musical number, and even the bad guys have to sing along with the chorus.

Twitchy pauses, bomb still in hand, while she considers poor Ronk and his desire for a Pity Bonk song to bring up his morale in the final fight. And she begins to sing a Pity Bonk song, to the tune of Red Solo Cup.

Now a pity bonk is a tradition long-standing
For barbarians, fighters and warriors demanding
That their dice odds not be under-handing
Them from scoring with style

Hey a pity bonk is cheap it predisposes you
To love a barbarian's hat and toeses too
Just like lucky characters for those-s who
The Paizo dice roller doth smile

At this point, Vorka, the rats and the frog join in singing the chorus, pulled into the song by the irresistible laws of musical theater.

A pity bonk, for my poor Ronk
Let's have a melee, let's have a melee
I love you my little Ronk, with pity bonk
Proceed to melee, proceed to melee

They all fall silent again as the camera once again focuses on Twitchy singing to Ronk.

Now I really love how you're so keen to whack
But I really hate how your club goes thwack
On air, missing foes you're there to attack
Well, that my friends is quite sucky

But I have to admit that Twitchy gets smitten
Admirin' at how sharply your teeth have bitten
And your muscly arms when you're hittin'
On foes; with her you'll always be lucky.

Twitchy nods, and the villains once again launch into the chorus.

A pity bonk, for my poor Ronk
Let's have a melee, let's have a melee
I love you my little Ronk, with pity bonk
Proceed to melee, proceed to melee

Twitchy pauses for final verse, watching fondly as her enraged barbarian love continues to climb after Vorka, now grinning, club in his teeth.

You'll make me feel blue if Vorka doesn't get yellow
For only your red will do for you, fellow
Cause you are the Abbott into my Costello
And you are my Knight of sweet Doom

My handsome Ronk, you're more than just spastic
More than amazing, you're more than fantastic
And believe me that I'm not the least bit sarcastic
When I look at you and say:
"My handsome Ronk, you're not just a bonk (No, no, Gob no)
You're my friend, yea (Lifelong)
Thank you for being my friend"

At this heart wrenching moment, the entire team wipes tears from their eyes, and then everyone joins once again in the chorus:

A pity bonk, for my poor Ronk
Let's have a melee, let's have a melee
I love you my little Ronk, with pity bonk
Proceed to melee, proceed to melee

_____________
If Ronk is still working on his version of the Pity Bonk song, that's great... In my opinion, there can never be too many Pity Bonk songs!

And because Villains deserve equal time, here's Vorka's show stopping musical number...

Still climbing, waiting for the fight to resume, Vorka bursts into song:

Here's the story
Of a witch named Vorka
Who was bringing up two very nasty dogs
And a fast moving demon horse
(She had no other)
And some big assed frogs

The Licktoad bunch, the Licktoad bunch,
Yeah Vorka wants to kill the Licktoad bunch!

_______________________________________

Parodied off The Brady Bunch Theme Song

Wolfwaker, I need some help knowing where everyone is. I have a bomb that could take out the swarm, or could be thrown against the witch. Is the swarm on top of my friends? If I shout for them to move out of the way, and ready, can I throw the bomb at the swarm without hitting them?

Is Squishy really down? Gurp had given Squishy back 5 hit points with a CLW spell earlier. Then the slug moved up the Ramp, which indicates she must have been positive hitpoints then. The slug only took 3 damage, so she should still be up and moving, rather than at -7, right? Can Squishy be gotten out of there? Her movement speed is 20 feet. I'd hate to take out the swarm by killing Squishy... Gurp would never forgive me.

Finally, is Ronk still in melee against Vorka, or has she climbed out of his reach again? If she's climbed out of his reach, the witch is getting another bomb to the face before she can cast again.

"Retreat from the swarm! Gurp, get Squishy out of there! Ronk, just grapple her so she stops casting!"

OK, trying to catch up. Bear with me.

Sorry, the -7 was meant to be 7 below max, which I couldn't remember. Squishy is at 6/11 I think.

Swarm is around Gurp and Squishy, Medge, and Flamefinger.

Vorka is climbing the mast.

I'm not completely sure if sleep works on a rat swarm but considering the delay I caused I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

So I guess Medge is casting sleep. Needs a concentration roll.
Twitchy is bombing Vorka?
Ronk missed his swing.
And Flamefinger? Zap the frog?

Does that all sound right?

Wolfwaker, that sounds great. Gurp and Squishy also have actions that they can take, but they have not declared them yet. Gurp, go for it!

Musical numbers done, Twitchy tosses a bomb at Vorka's face once Vorka has climbed out of Ronk's reach. "Medge, drop your mighty turtle warrior into the swarm and retreat! Let him fight the swarm!"

I think she can drop as a free action.

Wait, we were waiting on me, too? Dangit!

"Squishy! Back to Gurp! NOW!"
Squishy withdraws from the swarm, and Gurp follows him to safety while trying to shoot at Vorka over his shoulder.

Sling Attack: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (14) + 3 = 17
Damage: 1d3 - 1 ⇒ (2) - 1 = 1

Concentration Check: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10

Medge tries to sing the swarm to sleep.

I'm pretty sure it doesn't work lol

Rage doesn't know tactics, sorry.

Ronk screams in rage and swings hoping to cave in her face
Bonking: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (1) + 8 = 9
damage: 1d8 + 8 ⇒ (1) + 8 = 9

So that was a crit fail
less like bonking more of a flail
So much missing
Twitchy might never be kissing
Poor little Ronk
He just wants to bonk
And make Twitchy proud
This he has vowed
But his hopes to get Twtichy in bed
Have fallen dead
But there is a silver lining
If We do enough whining
There could be a pity bonk!

Twitchy sighs. How can she be an evil and bossy mastermind if no one follows her plans?

While Fluffer flies around Vorka, Twitchy holds one bomb still held high, and starts singing again...

I had a plan
not too demanding
not many parts
for their understanding

I had a plan
involving bombs that go boom
is it too much
to ask for some room?

Spellcraft to Identify Medge's Fizzled Spell: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (16) + 7 = 23

Medge hadn't dropped the fierce turtle warrior or retreated, and her sleep spell had slumped, but there must be something that the bard could still do against the swarm...

"Oh, that's it!" Twitchy gives herself a gleeful dope slap with her freehand. "Medge, remember the Dragon Brew Gourd you got from the chief! That'll kill those nasty ratses dead and that fiendish frog too!"

It's a Fire Breath elixir.

Then she looks down affectionately at Ronk, swinging his club while raging at Vorka. Her face softens, and she sings:

If you weren't so cute
if we weren't a team
but we are... even when
you make me scream

I have a new plan
yes, let's give it a try
together we'll work
and make that witch DIE!

Twitchy continues to hold her action, waiting...
THING ONE: For Vorka to climb again out of Ronk's reach, in which case... bomb to the face!
THING TWO: If Vorka does not climb, but instead casts, Twitchy throws the bomb so that it will slightly miss Vorka, catching her in the splash radius and leaving Ronk unharmed. She will accept slightly lower damage in order to keep Vorka from casting.

Sorry, finally ready.

twitchy bomb: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (7) + 5 = 12
dmg: 1d6 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7

Ronk swings and misses as Vorka climbs away. Twitchy fires a bomb but Vorka nimbly ducks it, and it she is too high up for the splash to hit her. Gurp hits her in the knee with a rock from his sling, causing her to sway and almost pass out it seems, but she recovers and keeps climbing. "Get them, my pretties!", she cackles to the rats.

Medge tries to sing, but the rats crawling tickle her and make her laugh.

swarm dmg
medge: 1d4 ⇒ 1 now at 6/9
gurp: 1d4 ⇒ 1 now at 10/14
flamefinger: 1d4 ⇒ 2 now at 2/7

The giant frog hops toward Ronk, grabbing at him with its long tongue, but it misses.
tongue: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9

I just saw your question about the reroll, you can use it on Vorka if you want (she is almost out), or save it.

Goblins' turn again.

Wolfie, welcome back!

PREVIOUS ROUND ERRATA

1. Twitchy already rolled her attack on Vorka way back on April 30th. Given that a 13 hit Vorka's touch AC earlier, my 15 should have done so as well. Damage would have been the same as yours, 7.

2. Also, Gurp and Squishy withdrew from the swarm -- did the swarm follow them?

NEW ROUND

Twitchy tosses her final bomb and yells, "This ends now Vorka!"

Bomb Attack vs Touch AC: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (16) + 5 = 21
Bomb Damage: 1d6 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7

Apologies for all the confusion, I lost track of some stuff. I guess that should have been a hit last turn so we'll apply this one to the frog or the swarm (your choice). Gurp should be out of the swarm and at 11/14. Ronk should be in the swarm and 4/13 I think.

Twitchy's bomb catches Vorka in the face and she tumbles from the mast in a ball of flame and smoke.

If the rats bite you, you need a DC 12 fort save or you are nauseated (can only move).

Forgot to do Flamefinger's ray last turn. Attack swarm.
fort save: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (12) + 0 = 12 ok
ray: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21
dmg: 1d6 ⇒ 2

"Ding, dong, the witch is dead! Flamefinger, Medge... Retreat from the swarm!" With her friends still in the storm, Twitchy does not dare bomb the swarm directly. "Medge, retreat and use your dragon breath gourd!"

Twitchy throws the bomb at the frog, aiming to get some of the swarm but not her friends in the splash.

"Ha! False swamp lady dead! Gurp calls dibs on her head!" Gurp fishes one of his magic sling bullets out, and fires it at the frog.
We never really found out what kind magic was on the bullets, so I guess we'll find out now!

Sling attack: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10
...or not.

Meanwhile, Squishy does what Squishy does best and spits acid at the frog.

Acid attack: 1d20 ⇒ 7
Assuming the frog has absolutely godawful touch AC...
Acid damage: 1d6 ⇒ 2

Ronk stares with a look pure devastation as Vorka plummets to her death. But We were going to... now she will nev.. Then Ronk hears Twitchys proud declaration. Wait she is fire and death! A big grin overcomes Ronks face. He turns and looks for Twitchy.

Medge whoops as Vorka turns into a fireball. "Ha! We got her! Now we just need more fire!" She pulls out the dragon breath gourd and chugs it down!

Move action to retrieve it, move action to drink. Fire next round!

Twitchy yells, "Ronk, grab Medge and get her out of the swarm!"

Ronk pulls Medge out of the swarm as the rats scatter and disappear back into the ship, no longer under Vorka's spell. The giant frog, surprisingly, leaps to the charred body of Vorka and crouches in defense, looking ready to attack anyone who approaches.

Your turn again.

Gurp looks at the frog thoughtfully, with something resembling respect on his face. "You good friend, froggy. You look after Vorka like Squishy look after Gurp." He then takes out his sling and fires one of the magic bullets at it. "Too bad you on wrong side! SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!"
Sling Attack: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (14) + 3 = 17
Sling Damage: 1d3 - 1 ⇒ (2) - 1 = 1

Meanwhile, Squishy does his thing and squirts acid in the frog's general direction.
Acid Attack: 1d20 ⇒ 11
Acid Damage: 1d6d6 ⇒ 1