Tark's Council of Thieves: Nobles without a House
Game Master Tark the Ork

Pollux - Eagle's Splendor will give you +4 to CHA which translates to +2 to your Perform. That puts you to 19, I think?

~Wheel of hilarity turn turn turn show us the regret that they'll soon earn.

1d20 ⇒ 3

Even with Petronicus's magical aid it is not enough to stop you from becoming ripe targets for riper tomatoes, cabbages, nearly rotten eggs and for some reason a number of live chickens to come flying from the crowd and onto the stage.

Next act's perform rolls are at a -2 penalty.

Act 3!

ACT II

As the livestock flies thick and fast Pollux stares at each bundle of feathers in turn. Soon they are following the our erzatz Lazarod like a trail of chicks as he walks from the stage.Charm hex dc 15 on chickens.

Once off stage: In a clear voice, pointedly not looking at Thesing. [b]"They must like us, after all they bought us lunch." Smiling Pollux reaches into the flock and selects a bird. Calming it for a moment he cradles it in one arm before drawing a dagger and spitting the fowl Attack with dagger 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (19) + 1 = 20, damage 1d4 ⇒ 1. Crit? 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4. Oh dear. We appear to have an insane panicked and bleeding chicken adding to the festivities.

Act III, assuming it the show survives the insane chicken.

Perform, Calseinica, ground bone, Eagles, wearable feast: 1d20 + 4 + 1 + 2 - 2 ⇒ (4) + 4 + 1 + 2 - 2 = 9. Ah! Now we show our true talent!

Perform check1d20 + 1 - 1 - 2 ⇒ (1) + 1 - 1 - 2 = -1

Serously two 1's in a row. I don't know how to even role-play this one.

Apparently liking the smell of tomatoes and flying chickens, Tal is too busy grabbing lunch on the stage to do any acting. He recites his lines through a mouthfull of eggs, they were only nearly rotten, that even those in the front row can't understand.

Act III: Where chickens fly and angels die...

Perform (Act-Aid Another): 1d20 + 1 + 1 - 2 ⇒ (14) + 1 + 1 - 2 = 14

The act progresses well enough for the faux female and he pulls off a convincing enough charade of declaring undying love for Pollux whilst writhing on the floor in faux-pleasure.

Act III
Perform (Aid Another): 1d20 + 1 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 1 + 3 = 10

Barely holding back his rage under the assault of flying vegetables, the failing actor Xarem Rail once again attempts his lines for the next act.
Eviscerating just one of these flea-ridden sheep should be enough to disperse this detritus of an audience.

Xarem grinds his teeth as he poorly recites his lines, his grip ever tightening on his axe handle.

Act III
Performance Aid:1d20 + 1 - 2 ⇒ (5) + 1 - 2 = 4

Lost in his words more than his performance Petronicus find it impossible to deliver his lines, especially while dodging rotten produce and live poultry.

I only hope we are 'shaking the 1s' out of the dice bot

You know I never got a chance to roll on this table with the last group.

1d20 ⇒ 11
1d6 ⇒ 5

This act ends with several patrons shakign their heads giving the stage rude gestures and walking out yelling about how everything you're doing is a farce, you should be fired, the theater should be burned, the actors flayed alive, and the director imprisoned at Hells Perch to be raped by devils for the remainder of his life. Harsh words even spoke softly roared across the theater as doors are slammed and curses are hurled.

ACT 4!

Act IV Now with less audience!

Perform, grind, Calseinica; 1d20 + 1 + 4 ⇒ (11) + 1 + 4 = 16. Assuming Eagle's splendor wore off as it only lasts for 3 minutes.

Hmmmm maybe if Castor tapdanced.........
Anyone know where we can get a tiny straw boater and cane?

Tal will try to master his fear and not hide behind his shield.

perform 1d20 + 1 - 1 ⇒ (6) + 1 - 1 = 6 sigh

He does manage to poke his head out now and then but only to the anger and spite of the crowd. Clearly after tomorrow, Tal is never setting foot on stage again.

ACT IV:
Xarem Rail ponders what it must feel like if he were ever to be swallowed by the Rough Beast. Oddly, he finds himself looking forward to Act IV. He puts a little more effort into his lines for this particular trial while attempting to suppress a smile.
Perform (Aid Another): 1d20 + 1 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 1 + 3 = 21

By the Unmaker, I am actually enjoying this scene. Perhaps I have spent too much time in the company of Pollux.

Act IV: Wherein enthusiasm is drip-fed to the audience

Perform (Act-Aid Another): 1d20 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (17) + 1 + 1 = 19

The emptied room is less imposing to the one more comfortable outside of the spotlight and CaldaKrona provides stout support to PolLarazod.

Act III
Performance Aid:1d20 + 1 ⇒ (15) + 1 = 16

With the the audience thinning out Petronicus finds it easier to concentrate on his performance.

Amazing, this is much easier when not dodging the produce and poultry from our adoring fans.

Despite the chaos of wounded chickens, booing crowds and a Robahl who looks as if he is being horribly maimed with every flubbed line, missed cue, and sudden bought of nervous giggling you manage to pull off a win this act.

ACT 5!

perform check 1d20 + 1 - 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 - 1 = 3 Jsut for kicks and giggles 1d10 ⇒ 6 yep still better with a worse die

Even with teh rouseing success of the other actors, Tal has not gotten over his fear of the crowd. Hoping to put them away from his mind, Tal is set to begin 'eating the eggs'. Unfortunately the eggs thrown at him a couple minutes ago have gotten the worse of Tal and he hurls on stage, choking and sputtering his lines as best he can. His face is ashen and those around him don't know how much more of this he can take.

Act V: But a moment from the time when love unrequited is rewarded...

Perform (Act - Aid Another): 1d20 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (16) + 1 + 1 = 18

To his surprise, Caldazar finds the role of Krona settling upon him like a second skin. Channeling the bestial nature of the half-orc helps to center himself after a week of impotent conduct when he had to keep his true emotions somewhat in check.

Act V:Will lightning strike the stage again?

Perform (Aid Another): 1d20 + 1 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 1 + 3 = 24

Xarem finally seems to be settling into the role of Tybain with an almost award winning performance during this act. Discreetly, he moves a few steps away from the retching Gorumite.

Act V
Performance Aid:1d20 + 1 ⇒ (6) + 1 = 7

So astounding by their performance in the last act Petronicus looses focus on his acting and merely repeats his lines, as if lecturing at the academy.

sorry guys but the dice bot is not with me (us)... but at least I am doing 'slightly' better than Tal ><

Act V
Perform, grind, Calseinica: 1d20 + 1 + 4 ⇒ (4) + 1 + 4 = 9

Pollux/Lazarod spends this act staring at Merax/Xerem/Tyban and wondering how he keeps so many names in such a tiny head.

Ouch

1d20 ⇒ 16

oooo now it's a good one.

1d5 ⇒ 5

The farmyard menagerie of the stage grows further as a donkey is pushed on stage dressed as, of all people, Pollux. Someone in the crowd cries out. "FINALLY! A QUALITY ACTOR HAS GRACED THE STAGE!"

The crowd laughs uproariously at the groups expense.

-2 to all perform checks for the last two acts.

ACT 6! Will our heroes survive!!?!?!

Act VI: Where angels fly and Gorumites cry...

Between acts Caldazar sighed and shrugged his shoulders. At least they are refraining from throwing rocks. before putting his gameface on for his shining moment of truth...

Perform (Act Another): 1d20 + 1 + 1 - 2 ⇒ (14) + 1 + 1 - 2 = 14

Despite the distraction and with chicken feathers filling the air and donkey sh*t staining the stage all fades from the crowd's attention for a few short moments... Moments filled with the sight of a lusty half-orc bestially assaulting the grace and virtue of a heavily armored man. No matter what else happened today, they would remember this moment... a moment of truth... of unbridled love... and of the torturer dry-retching afterwards as the half-orc gave a spit smeared grin through her fake tusks.

1d20 + 1 - 1 - 2 ⇒ (17) + 1 - 1 - 2 = 15 I passed once. Tal isn't a complete failure just a majority failure.

Dreading this moment and waiting for the kiss was not as bad as Tal expected. Actually the performance was memorable and a member of the crowd actually shed a tear. That or the stench of the food and cattle manure was getting to him. Either way, Tal finally holds up his end of the bargain and shows some promise for the following night.

Act VI
Performance Aid:1d20 + 1 - 2 ⇒ (10) + 1 - 2 = 9

Try as he might, Petronicus is just too distracted by the donkey and trying terribly not to laugh.

So close, so very close

Trying to keep a straight face, Xarem Rail keeps performing.
Perform (aid another): 1d20 + 1 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 1 + 3 = 8

Between Petronicus' failures and the shenanigans of Cal and Tal, Merax fails miserably during this act.

My usual dice have returned from their vacation. :)

Act VI Oritorio for players and domestic animals.
Perform, grind, Calseinica, donkey: 1d20 + 1 + 4 - 2 ⇒ (15) + 1 + 4 - 2 = 18.

Rather intrigued by the animal Lazarod delivers his broken and occasionally reinterprated lines from astride the docile if confused beast.

By the skin and beards of their chinny chin chins rubbing together sensually the group manages to squeak by another tolerable performance.
Millech manages to chase the animals off stage between acts.

FINAL ACT!

Act VII: A rousing finale

Perform (Act Another): 1d20 + 1 + 1 - 2 ⇒ (19) + 1 + 1 - 2 = 19

The warm and fuzzy feeling from the fierce embrace with TalValid carries CaldaKrona through the final act with a grace that is almost worthy of an actor. The elation at surviving the performance to see Haanderthan dragged to hell only empowers him to see the actual play through to completion.

perform1d20 + 1 - 1 - 2 ⇒ (12) + 1 - 1 - 2 = 10

Tal stands there resolutely watching hte end to Haanderthan. the justice is served and Tal smiles at what is in store for the poor Thesing. Of course this all happens in character and Tal manages to actually hlep the cause of the pl;ay instead of hinder it like he did the first 4 acts he was in.

Merax pushes past the chaos of this performance to deliver his finale. This has been a hard test on the limits of his patience.
Perform (Aid Another): 1d20 + 1 + 3 ⇒ (13) + 1 + 3 = 17

Act VII
Performance Aid:1d20 + 1 - 2 ⇒ (15) + 1 - 2 = 14

Thinking things can't get worse than a donkey on stage and realizing the final act is before him Petronicus throws worry to the wind delivering an adequate performance.

Best act yet for this group. Maybe the thought of Thesing having severe bodily harm done unto him is good for this group.

The act ain't over till the tea loving rodent slave makes his roll...

Tea loving rodent slave on deck!

The end.
Perform, grind, Calseinica, donkey: 1d20 + 1 + 4 - 2 ⇒ (7) + 1 + 4 - 2 = 10. Yes that looks like a 18 for the final score. Roll the bones o'doom my captain.

Between the lack of distracting donesticates and the rest of the cast nearly inflicting bodily harm trying to keep him focused Pollux very nearly turns in an adequate performance.

As pollux invokes the fickle gods of chaos...

1d5 ⇒ 5

As the group manages to coalesce into a mediocre whole someone breaks out a straw effigy of Pollux mimicking all of his actions in (more) eagerrated ways. As the finale comes a pair of goats leap up from the crowd and tear the effigy from its owners arms and begin devouring it adding the unreality of everything.

As the laughing crowd and zoo gets chased out of the Limehouse Robahl appears on stage like the shambling dead.

"Go home. Get some rest. Tomorrow will be the big day."

With that he shambles off.

Bemused that they finally seemed to have worked all the vitriol free from Robahl, Caldazar lingers near his companions for some time... waiting to see if Tal wishes to bring his new romantic conquest home...

Wipe that smirk off you face Cal. I know I did better after you kissed me but don't get too close or you'll end up kissing the axe instead next time. And it won't be from me it will be from Lily. with that Tal will return home and get a good night's sleep as he has nightmares about Cal.

You will have until noon the net day to complete any last second shenanigans before the big play starts.

"I will meet you all later, there is something I need to attend to."
Meraxilar heads to Janiven's safehouse after the mock performance. His thoughts are on the girl he saved in the alley from the twisted muscreant, Dog.

Petronicus will pick up the wand of cure light wounds and give it to Merax, i guess?

During the morning on his way to the playhouse, Tal will drop Lily off at the Children's safe house. I promise you I will look after myself first and worry about the play second. Once the trials are over, I will send word as to what is to follow next. I am sure there will be a party for those that survive. I will come get you or end someone for you. Until then I ask that you stay here where the children can look out for you in case Thesing has something up his sleeve against me for embarrassing him at the diner. Fear not it will take more than some stage illusions to get the best of me. With that Tal kisses his wife good-bye and makes his way to the playhouse.

Caldazar takes his leave in the evening and spends some time in pensive thought, regarding the simple wooden image of a rose that hangs around his neck. Coming to terms eventually with what seemingly must be done to be able to penetrate the thick layer of blubber that protects the corrupt nobility, he sighs and kisses the symbol of Milani before sleeping fitfully through the night.

Rising early and with a cold sweat, he bathes and takes a meagre breakfast. He then makes his way to the theatre with the holy symbol hidden in a pocket, planning to place it around his neck after he has been prepared for the performance...

... or end someone for you.

Ah I see Merax has been wearing off on you.

"No Thesig, that is mine!" Pollux says as he pulls the effegial head away from the goat that was dining on it.
With a smug smile and his head under one arm Pollux wanders into the gloaming.

Our hero wanders for a bit. Setting his head on one of the spikes outside a local lockup. Holding it up to look in second story windows. Trashing a group of street kids at pick-up football. (Amazing what evil-eye and misfortune can do to a goalie.) And stopping to make some last minute purchases from a slightly corrupt chemist of his aquaintaince.Before fetching up back at home for some wine and cheese with Vitti.

Oh Petronicus, Caldazar, Merax, or my humble self can use that mystic backscratcher though kind Merax does have the most HP. Purchasing 3 tindertwigs, 3 acid flasks, 2 alchemists fire and a new hat.

Morning brings the vagabond king, kicking his head down the lane and whistling a catchy but oddly arythmic tune

Caldazar has the other CLW wand with 12 charges at present, and is a spontaneous caster of same.
I'd suggest that Merax holds the big wand, and Pollux gets the 12 charge one at present - though due to the confines of the play I think it's mostly off-screen healing we're after.

Petronicus will create two scrolls (Endure Elements & Protection from Evil) and prepare his spells the following morning. He will use the endure elements scroll just before the show begins. (If anyone else would like this let me know, just need 37.5gp to make the scroll.)
Any strategy meeting before the big day?

Nothing needed for Tal. As long as there is healing present he is happy. Ready to get this sham over with and start hitting stuff.

Im still lurking daily. :) Merax will hold the wand if that's what the group wants. I was just waiting for a brief exchange with Janiven before posting.

After arriving at the Children of Westcrown's safe house, Meraxilar takes Janiven aside before asking about the girl he brought to them.
"Has she recovered enough to give her name? I would speak with her if she could bear it."

As Cal has already posted - he's good to move onto the play

The only thing of really note happening this evening is that Pollux is given a stern lecture by a dottari sergeant about using an effigy head on the spikes when that would clearly mess with the aesthetics of the real heads lined up in ghastly display of thieves, rapists, and murderers all killed in the name of the prince of darkness's black justice. It seems the eccentric yellow coated artist can't even be impaled on a spike for the sake of his art.

"Her name is Justina." Janiven says. "She's been okay. We were considering escorting her home soon as it's been a couple of weeks and her family is undoubtedly worried. No major injuries, just a few scrapes, most of the scars she suffered were emotional."

"My thanks for caring for the girl until now. If she is talkative then she must be recovering well enough from her ordeal and I need not concern myself any further. The night I found her, I thought her mind to be unmade. I came to see if I could help her come to terms with it, but it appears to have been an unnecessary gesture." Meraxilar's thoughts wander for a few seconds and his facial expression seems to almost soften.
He regains his normal demeanor quickly enough though before continuing. "Well, I should get back to the theatrical nightmare that we are involved in. Do I owe the Children of Westcrown any form of compensation for taking her in?"

"No." Janiven says smiling. "She's still shocked from it all and speaks highly of her "mysterious rescuer". Right now though you should focus on surviving the play yourself. She'll keep until then."