"WHY CAN'T WE HIT YOU?"
Longtongue the frog bites at Mogmurch
Attack
Damage
The angry woman stabs at Reta!
Attack
Damage
"WE GOING TO GOBBLE YOU ALL UP!"
R6
Enemy Stabbity bite.
Chuffy
Poog
Reta MISS!
Mog
LLT 0
V 22
You hit Reta! Chuffy make you die!
Attack Damaeg
Crit Confirmation Damaeg
R6
Enemy Stabbity bite.
Chuffy STAB!
Poog Healz
Reta MISS!
Mog
LLT 0
V 26
She's barely alive, but still fighting on!
mog is badly hurt but he still attacks the witch
Mog manages to simply tap the stupid lady with the big mouth and dumb hat just enough to take away her ability to keep fighting. And she hits the canvas unconscious.The kicking that subsequently follows by the mean spirited little Goblins ensures that she never wakes up.
***
The Frog, Lord Longtongue, covered in wasp bits and unhappiness, imediately looks sad that Vorka is dead. He break away and hops into the swamp, eventually dying of a broken heart.
***
The Goblin squad begins to examine the room.
The majority of these objects here are filthy and broken, but 10 minutes or so of sorting and scavenging turns up some interesting finds.
All of these items (broken and functional alike) are strangely decorative, depicting colorful serpentine dragons, towering cliffs, delicate humanoid figures, and strange pagodas—not that a goblin would know a pagoda from a tool shed.
Even the filthy or broken clutter here could be worth about 600 gp to the right collector, but as they are mostly made of bamboo, exotic wood, and in some cases paper, they’re probably more fun to burn.
Among the more obviously valuable objects are 140 gp, a bejeweled silver and jade lantern built to look like a coiled dragon worth 150 gp, a dozen masterwork shuriken, an ivory and gold fan depicting a gecko walking amid cherry blossoms worth 80 gp (the reverse side of this fan has been used by Vorka to draw a crude map of Brinestump, not unlike the one Scribbleface created, and contains a secret that the goblins are unlikely to decipher anytime soon), a long hairpin with a red pearl at one end worth 150 gp, a wand of create food and water with only 2 charges left, and an elixir of love in a crystal vial shaped like a heart (the vial itself is worth 50 gp).
The red chest, though, is the object of your quest.
Unlocked, it contains several fireworks. The chest itself is heavy and worth 150 gp, and there were obviously once many more fireworks within (probably stolen by Scribbleface) but those that remain should be
more than enough to satisfy the chief for at least a few days. The fireworks in the chest consist of 14 Desnan candles, 20 paper candles, and seven skyrockets.
***
Making some cool hammocks, the Goblins stay just out of biting range of the dogs and tainting them - the idea was to watch the dogs start starving. That iz way boring. Five minutes later the Goblins throw rocks and random bedroom furnishings at the dogs 'til they croak.
With the dogs dead, they check the rest of the boat.
The room beyond is the kitchen.
This room is a blood-splattered chamber of horror.
Dead rodents, snakes, and birds have been variously nailed, tied, and hung around the walls. At the far end of the room, a large cauldron bubbles over an iron stove set against the aft wall, its stovepipe chimney extending up through the ceiling. A bloody burlap sack sits on the floor next to the stove. The center of the room contains a long, rickety table surrounded by chairs that contain several grisly decorations—a whole family of skeletal goblins, their bones bleached white and bound together by reeds and twine.
The little Goblin Guild pokes around the room and the bag - a Goblins left arm and heart are currently stewing in the cauldron, while the bloody burlap sack contains the rest of its body, including its uniquely branded face. Scribbleface's hideous fate should serve as yet further proof to all right thinking Goblins that writing words can, in the end, only bring you bad luck—or worse!
***
With the fireworks in hand, and heaps of shiny new toys, the Goblins return to the village, walking in slow-mo a lot.
As the credits roll there are several cut scenes -
First cut scene:
The Goblin Four attending a huge celebratory feast in their honour!
Second cut scene:
Chief Gutwad marrying Chuff off to his daughter, the fearsomely corpulent and ferociously lusty Gupy Wartbits.
Reta is seen in the background hurling objects at the celebration.
Third cutscene:
The Goblin Four being given their new titles and positions by the Chief!
Poog - Head Village Watcher,
Chuffy - Overseer of Village Stabbings.
Reta - Mistress of the Pig Pit
Mogmurch - Boss of Big Fire.
Roll-out takes and blooper reel!
END CREDITS.
mog is badly hurt but he still attacks the witch
[dice=weak cluber lang]1d20++2
[dice=damage]1d4-1[dice=weak cluber lang cirt?]1d20+2
[dice=and the knockout]1d4-1
|
Out-Takes:
Poog looks at the intoxicating apples and gets an evil grin, pointing a most unholy finger at them! There is a WALL OF FLAME and then the camera cuts out. "CUTTTTTT"
There is the sound of a very loud 'croaking frog' during Hide or Get Clubbed, but for some reason none of the clubbing goblins can seem to pinpoint that croaking sound to a bunch of bubbles erupting from a pond.
Montage of some big two-level longshanks hut with Poog alternatively being chased around by some longshanks and trying to shank said longshanks every time he sits down to type something at the computer...
ADDITIONAL COLLECTOR EDITION SPECIAL!
Poog's slow motion walk becomes really slow motion as the party departs the boat and he lights that sucker up with a volley of firebolts with a maniacal laugh, along with an arc of flame and all the burning, to purge the infidel unclean writing things from goblin history!
mog is badly hurt but he still attacks the witch
[dice=weak cluber lang]1d20++2
[dice=damage]1d4-1[dice=weak cluber lang cirt?]1d20+2
[dice=and the knockout]1d4-1