“Say Your Right Words!” (Inactive)

Game Master Terquem

Perception: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (16) + 7 = 23

Kn Nature: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (15) + 5 = 20

"Hoo!" Wup jeers at the bodies in the water, pointing at them with one clawed finger. "Big fatters, ate too much pie and too many goblins! Bad to fight them in the water, though, I bet. Maybe MIGHTY WUP lures one on the land, and then pew ta-pew ka-choo with rocks and bangs and arrows while MIGHTY WUP stands like a ... like a really strong rock to protect everyone!"

Choeropsis liberiensis Ferocius - But are they good eating?

I count 15 of them so I don't know about luring one up here, you might get them all

Fighting bad idea! Is there no way around?

Knowledge geography: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (8) + 8 = 16

Ul Skub tucks his pipe into a pocket, drawing his rifle with a twitchy arm. He looks downstream, searching for a shallow crossing.

"The river cows have seen through our camel-flogs. Their fat can stand up to our sharp things...but the shallows water might be hostin' crocs'n'gators'n'river-dragons.. "

Wup sticks his tongue out at Gemdar. Phhthhbt.

"Then YOU come up with better plan!"

Screwing his face up, Wup studies the water. "Shallow stream has crocs and rocks. Big pond has eye-lands to look from but fat water cows! Wup is not afraid!"

To prove this, Wup cups his hands around his mouth and shouts at the water... some hundred yards away... and its watery denizens.

"Though you are near, Wup has no fear!
"Because... uh... because water's... clear!
"So he can see your ugly faces and he could beat you in foot-races!
"...Or horse-races too! Or climbing! Or, uh, dog-races... no wait, Wup hates dogs..."

Wup descends into muttering about canines for a few minutes before his head bobs up again and he points at the spot where stream descends into pond-- and forms little waterfalls.

"Crocs and cows like big calm water, Wup thinks. Wup says we cross where the water goes DOWN, not flat! But we use rope!"

Gobzilla is most pleased to learn that meat will indeed be served before he leaves. The Goblin Hero quickly scarfs down a couple of meat pies before feeding a few to Gaia. Much like her master, the Allosaurus seems to find them most delicious. The dinosaur duo are on their third round when the rest finally usher them out the door.

Curious about how his fellow Heroes will lead, Gobzilla at first keeps quiet and lets the others take point. Once they reach the croc-ridden crossing, he suggests an alternative to fighting their way across. Last time he checked, Gaia is a terrible swimmer, and he would rather not loose his scaly friend.

"Rawr! Gobzilla say we find new crossing point. He can look for one. Gobzilla is a good woodsman and quite familiar with these parts. He can help you get to temple safely. Rawr!"

Survival: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (18) + 8 = 26

Day 1, Monday: Turn 91

The party comes to a stop some safe distance from the Pond. The falls are to their right, and the Wide River flows away from the Pond to the North.

The Falls look a little like this Rocky Falls just ignore the bridge in the background, okay?

Tabaaac seizes the opportunity to vault upon a small boulder. He lifts his hand to his forehead to screen the midday sun, and peers to the north and to the south, while Ul Skub looks north, downstream beyond the pond.

After glancing back and fort a couple of times in each direction, he is convinced he doesn't know what he is looking for.

The Mighty Wup and Gobzilla both begin discussing alternative plans to cross, while Gemdar inches away from Fluuk who is shifting from side to side as he controls his restless mount.

The general consensus among those who are knowledgeable about the Local Terrain is that this is the best place to cross. Even though there are Hungry, Hungry Hippos here, in the pond, during the day there are never any large predators here (just don’t try to cross at dusk or dawn!). To the north the river is slow,but deep and cold, while to the south, there are probably going to be crocodiles, and the river only gets wider after it leaves the pond.

The Challenge is to race across the pond leaping from rocks to boulders to rocks as you go, and not get eaten (a bite attack) by the Hippos. In order to succeed, first you must declare that you are “Making a Run for it,” and then roll a Dexterity Ability Check versus a DC of 16. If you succeed you make it across in one go. If you fail you are attacked by a Hippo and the attack roll will be made to represent the Hippo reaching out of the pond to try and make a snack out of you. If the Attack Fails, you can keep going, and reach the other side, but if the Attack succeeds you take Bite Damage and then a Grapple attempt will be made. If the Grapple succeeds you are caught in the mouth of the Hungry Hungry Hippo and will take bite damage again, unless you are freed by succeeding on a Combat Maneuver, or if your friends can hit the Hippo with enough damage to make it spit you out (half a Hippos HP). If you fail the Dexterity Check by 5+, not only are you attacked, but you lose sense of what direction you are going and when you are finished dealing with the Hippo you find yourself back where you stated and must try again. Mounted Characters can apply their Ride Skill to the Dex Ability Check, but must use the mount’s Dexterity if they are going to try to cross while mounted. A Mounted Character who is attacked by a Hippo has a 50% chance of his or her mount being the target. You may apply the Acrobatic Skill to the Dex Ability Roll. If you are grappled by a Hippo you can attempt an Escape Artist Skill Check against the Hippo’s CMD in lieu of a CM of your own. If you fail the Dex Ability Check, and have the Skill Handle Animal, you may try to avoid being attacked by making a Handle Animal Skill Check to try and change the attitude of the Hippo. You must beat a DC of 20 to do so. Any Questions?

No way Tabaaac goes first

Fluuk looks to the treetops hoping the treetop canopy is thick enough to climb through or use ropes to go hand over hand to avoid being eaten.

”Now it is time to prove ourselves and show what we are made of,” Ehz dismounts, and reaches into her saddlebag. She takes out a tabard, one of the finest any of you have ever seen. It is a white tabard, and on the front and back is emblazoned the symbol of the Order of the Colored Shells.

The escutcheon of the chest and back is oval Sable, with a lozenge Argent centered, three muscles purpure are arranged equilaterally on the lozenge and each is embroidered with a tortoise shell dexter passant

The three shells are stylized renderings, embroidered with brightly died threads, of the shells of land tortoises, one is rendered in Green with a gold edge, the other is rendered in Red with a gold edge, while the third is rendered in Blue with a white edge, and the Blue shell is adorned with small white wings.

She dons the Tabard ceremoniously, and then stares at each of you in turn with a look of steadfast companionship.

Ehz vaults into Mergatroid’s saddle, kicks her heels into the mount’s pudgy sides, and shouts, ”To the other side!”

She is making a run for it

The mount, a pudgy, medium sized creature with a squat body, small front legs, and large powerfully muscled rear legs, covered in dense fur from the nape of its neck to the beginning of its stubby, thick, scaled tail, rears up on its hind legs, and bellows a challenge to the Hungry, Hungry Hippos and then dashes off (at a trot) to leap upon a rock near the pond.

The valiant Cavalier of the Order of the Colored Shells spurs her mount from stone to stone in an attempt to cross the Pond and reach the other side.

The heads of the hippos near the rocks she travels over come snapping out of the water in an attempt to drag rider and mount into the water for a quick meal

Dexterity Ability Check, substituting Ride Skill Bonus for Dex Modifier: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (3) + 6 = 9

Mergatroid evades first one than another of the snapping huge mouths, but the mount is not agile enough and on a particularly small rock, rider and mount are attacked!

Melee Bite Attack, >50% =Ehsmaralduh: 1d100 ⇒ 2

The mouth is aiming for Mergatroid
Melee Attack Bite, roll to hit versus AC 13: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 17

Mergatroid is grabbed by the tail and takes
Damage from Bite: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4
And a Grapple is initiated
CM, Grapple: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (7) + 5 = 12

Luckily Mergatroid avoids being caught in the huge mouth

While Ehsmaralduh must succeed on a Ride Check or be unmounted by the attack

Ride Skill Check versus DC 17 (the attack roll): 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (19) + 6 = 25

Eshmaralduh stays in the saddle, as Mergatroid leaps away but the poor mount is disoriented and scrambles back the way she came.

Eshmaralduh is back with the rest of you

Tabaaac stares open mouthed at the chief's daughter before clamping his hand on his little hat and
Making a run for it

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Dex Check: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (9) + 2 = 11

While Tabaaac distracts the hippos, Gemdar decides to make a run for it. First he mumbles a few words you don't understand. Casting guidance, though I'm not sure it applies to a Dex check.

First he hops to a boulder, then a stone, then a hippos head, back to a boulder, then to a rock....oops that's a hippos head.

DC 16 Dex check: 1d20 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (12) + 2 + 1 = 15

Hungry, Hungry Hippo Challenge!

Tabaaac – He has failed the Dex Check, but not by 5+, so if he escapes a Hippo Attack, he makes it to the other side

Melee Bite Attack versus AC 15: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (17) + 2 = 19

He is bitten!

Damage from Bite attack: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

And a Grapple attempt is initiated
Grapple GM versus CMD 13: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (14) + 5 = 19

And is caught in the mouth of a Hippo, Aieeee!

Hungry, Hungry Hippo Challenge

Gemdar - he has failed the Dex Check, but not by 5+, so if he escapes a Hippo Attack, he makes it to the other side

Melee Bite Attack versus AC 16: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (11) + 2 = 13

The mouth snaps perilously close, but Gemdar darts away at the last minute

Gemdar is on the other side of the Pond

Gemdar starts to do a success dance and waving his bum at the hippos when he see's Tabaac in the hippos mouth.

No body else cross! I've got a cunning plan! First, Tabaaac hold very still

Gemdar pulls out this BIG two barreled pistol and aims at Tabaaac (well really the hippo, but to Tabaaac it looks like it's aimed right at him)

Double Barrled pistol Attack: 1d20 + 1 - 4 ⇒ (10) + 1 - 4 = 7 Damage: 1d8 ⇒ 3

Ranged touch attack.

Ul skub holds his hat over his heart, as our noble princess charges into the river and...unceremoniously fails. With a grunt he stows Matilda and draws his big ol' stickin' knife, tucking his powder horn deep into his backpack. Following Tabaaac out into the river, he shouts a quick lyric.

"We hop, and squirm, and jump, and leap.
From shallow ponds, to oceans's deep.
We non-digested, most expensive, Goblins to be three-key-tested."

Dex Check: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (8) + 3 = 11

Dex Check: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (16) + 3 = 19

Gemdar's shot goes high and strikes a tree causing a flock of multicolor birds to take flight squawking and screeching loudly.

The commotion distracts the hippos for a moment and Bandylegs darts across the pond leaping from rock to rock and running right past the being munched on Tabaaac.

Gemdar and Bandylegs are on the east side of the Pond, while the others, except Tabaaaac are on the west side

Wuppy is still mapping out his exciting plan to cross at the waterfall when he hears a yelp or a squeak or something like that as Tabaac is gromfled.

Irritatedly, he waves for quiet (and is ignored), and then there's a loud BOOM. Wuppy jumps three feet into the air and spins around clutching at his heart, to see Gemdar holding a big smoking gun.

"WHY'D YOU GO AND DO THAT FOR-- oh. Oh, what's he doing in its mouth? UGH! YOU DUMB-BUTT BOOK-FACE!"

Wup smacks his palm into his forehead. "NOW MIGHTY WUP HAVE TO COME RESCUE YOU!"

He mutters a rhyme to himself to screw up his courage.

"Wuppy leaps like falling tree
"Even if rocks are slip-per-y
"Wuppy balances like bee
"On wings of light so shim-mer-y
"Wuppy strong, and Wuppy brave,
"And Tabaaac's stupid skin he saves--
"If he doesn't fall in first
"Fatties bad, but water WORST."

Terquem, Wuppy is 'making a run for it', but he doesn't want to cross- he wants to get to Tabaac and the creature holding Tabaac, and try and help him get out. If that's permitted:

Dex check 1: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6

Dex check 2, say the right words: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 17

Wuppy comes to a skidding stop on a rock island near Tabaaac (maybe?).

"Hey! Fattie! Let him go!" he hollers. And he gets out a battered tin of his favorite substance... grease!!!

Fluuk, still searching for a way to cross via the treetops, sees everyone splashing and crashing across the river. Fluuk smiles, the sun glinting off his shiny teeth. *ding*

".... HEY, I WAS GOING TO DO THAT!" Fluuk adjust his giant conical hat, currently purple, a very fortuitous color...

'Making a Run For It', Fluuk borrows Ul Skub's roll of 16 (using 'I was going to do that'). Fluuk is mounted on Klobber and they charge across as one. His Dex check is modified by a +4 Ride skill and a +3 dex bonus of his mount Klobber the Ape. Total roll is 23 vs a DC of 16.

Gemdar gets ready for another shot, but waits to see if the grease works.

Hey! Save some of that Wup! I'll be good with dinner!

Ul skub lets out a screech when he snaps back into reality, drawing Matilda as swiftly as he can. Taking frantic aim at the river cow he unleashes a hail of lead hell

Atk roll: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (12) + 5 = 17

Rapid shot: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9

damage: 1d12 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 1 = 8

damage 2: 1d12 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

AAAAAAAAAAAA Tabaaac continues and tries to take a flask of acid out and smash it into the hippo's mouth to try to convince it to let go.

No idea what roll would be needed there

"Rawr! Hang on, Tabaaac!" Gobzilla calls out as he hops onto Giaia and dashes into the fray to help his friend.

Mounted Dex Roll (Gobzilla Ride Mod, Gobzilla Armor Penalty, No Saddle, Gaia Dex Mod, Gaia Acrobatics): 1d20 + 3 - 3 - 5 + 2 + 7 ⇒ (5) + 3 - 3 - 5 + 2 + 7 = 9

However, on the way there, the Greatest Goblin Druid fails to notice another hungry, hungry hippo emerge from depths of the water...

Hungry Hungry Hippo Challenge – Gobzilla

Gobzilla failed the roll by 5+, so if he survives the Hippos Attack, unfortunately he gets turned around and ends up on the same side where he started

Who is the Hippo attacking 51+ it is Gobzilla, 50 or less it is Giaia

Attack?: 1d100 ⇒ 75

It is Gobzilla!!

Melee Bite versus AC 19: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8

Thehippo extends its neck to incredible lengths and comes close to biting Gobzilla. The smart druid ducks, and squeezes with his knees to drive his allosaurus onward, but in the leaping and confusion, he finds himself back where he started.

We aren’t really going to track rounds for this, not really, but we will do something like it.

Each character has attempted the run, now we have the following situation

What’s Going On

Fluuk – his ape leaps from rock to rock, Fluuk is confident he will make it to the other side as he knew he was going to do what Bandylegs had done

Gemdar – escaped being eaten, ran to the other side, fired a shot at the hippo eating Tabaaaac and missed

Gobzilla – rushes out to assist in the rescue of Tabaaac, but…
The Mighty Wup – easily avoided the hippos, now is in a position to help Tabaaac with a tin of, grease?

Tabaaaac – is in the mouth of a Hippo

Ul Skub (Bandylegs) – darted across to the other side (is now with Gemdar)

Ehsmaralduh – has run afoul of a Hippo, her mount was bitten, and she returned to the same side she started from

Now we begin with new actions

Tabaaac, you need to make a Reflex save DC 20 to get the flask in your hand and break it in such a way that the hippos releases you, if you fail the roll most of the acid goes in the water instead, if you fail by 5+ you get acid on yourself

What would the rest of you like to do?

Wup sticks his tongue out at the hippo and cracks open the tin of grease to dump it all over Tabaaac. It's a good day when you get to pour something gross all over a fellow goblin, AND save the day!

Reflex: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (19) + 5 = 24

Almost forgot AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Doesn't anybody listen?!?!?! I said stay where you are. Too late now. Let's have hippos stew for dinner With that Gemdar aims more carefully this time and shoots at the hippo again.

Double Barrled pistol Attack: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (11) + 1 = 12 Damage: 1d8 ⇒ 7

Fluuk reaches the other side and casts gravity bow on his crossbow.

"Rawr! Gobzilla needs ranged weapon..." Gobzilla grumbles as he starts figuring out how, where, and when to make another run.

Hold for moment.

Day 1, Monday: Turn 91

Tabaaac breaks a flask of acid in the Hippos mouth. The liquid reacts with the Hippo’s saliva and begins creating a foaming billowing gaseous mess. At that moment, The Might Wup dumps a portion of slippery grease all over Tabaaac, who looks up at his companion with wonder and frustration in his face.

Just precisely then, Gemdar fires another shot.

The bullet strikes the Hippos, and causes the gaseous acidic mixture in its mouth and throat to combust, and Tabaaac comes shooting out of the Hippo’s mouth like the cork of a bottle of Fizzgapper’s Ale.

Tabaaac and Wup are on a rock in the Pond, and must make a run for it to get to one side or the other

AAAAAAAAAAAA Tabaaac's scream finally ends as he lands head first on the rock. The bump leads to some inspiration

Using Say your Right words Last time for the day (I think we get one per level per day right?

Ended up in Hippo's mouth
which was not fun there is no doubt

Now let's leave this stupid Pond
Come on Wup! Time to Abscond!

And tries to get to the far side.

Dex check: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8
Dex check: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 17

Gemdar shouts, Hurrah! Tabaaac is out!

When Tabaaac arrives next to him Gemdar looks at him very seriously and asks, Did you bring any hippo meat with you? It was supposed to be dinner.

Important question... is Penny still on the starting shore?

Ul skub reloads his rifle, smiling as a few more of the goblins scamper across the river. He stares back across the water, wondering how to get the others across, but you know, not very hard.

My attack rolls were totally overlooked ;( the all-consuming sadness

You know what, I talked about the rapid shot, and treated your attack as a miss, cause I forgot it was a Touch Attack, d'oh!

Did ya? Right on, no biggie.

Don't nobody try coming over till I get this gun reloaded and don't forget to grab some hippo meat if you want to eat!

Gemdar reloads both barrels of his pistol.

Fluuk fires his crossbow at a hippo to provide some distraction and cover.

Crossbow Shot: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (15) + 5 = 20

If hit:
Damage: 2d8 ⇒ (3, 5) = 8

Fluuk then reloads with rapid reload.

I have some hippo spit and I think some hippo bile on me Tabaaac says and thrusts his arms out to Gemdar See. It's got grease and acid too. Also it got blown up a bit.

Day 1, Monday: Turn 91

Yes, Penny, Ehsmaralduh, and Gobzilla are on the west bank of the pond/river while Tabaaac and The Mighty Wup, are currently stranded part way across, and Gemdar, Flukk and Ul Skub are on the east side of the pond/river

Bullets, and crossbow bolts strike the Hippo in the water, and in desperation, the animal submerges out of sight. Is it dead or dying? That is impossible to tell.

Ehsmaralduh, looks nervous, but gathers her courage and makes another run for it

Ehsmaralduh’s Ride Skill Check: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (9) + 6 = 15

Again Mergatroid evades first one than another of the snapping huge mouths, but Ehsmaralduh brings the mount to a stop nerar Tabaaac and Wup, to try and engourace them to get a move on, and another (different) Hippo lunges out at her and her mount.

Melee Bite Attack, >50% =Ehsmaralduh: 1d100 ⇒ 11

The mouth is aiming for Mergatroid, again, seems the ppor girl can't keep her tail out of the water

Melee Attack Bite, roll to hit versus AC 13: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 20

Mergatroid is grabbed by the tail and takes

Damage from Bite: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (6) + 1 = 7

And a Grapple is initiated

CM, Grapple: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (6) + 5 = 11

Mergatroid breaks free, and Ehsmaralduh is forced to flee back to where she came from, and she quickly dismounts to tend to her wounded friend.

Tabaaac, while giving up your arm to feed us is selfless, there is NO way I'm eating that arm! I mean really, who knows where it's been? Well other than you I guess.

Before anyone tries again let me know and I'll talk you through it and make sure you are ready

Using Hex:Fortune

Tabaaac thinks about this and says I can help too. I know everything about Hippos now. Inside AND out. Listen! LISTEN

And launches into an Oratorial Naturalist Performance

The Hippo, also known as Choeropsis Liberiensis Ferocious is a horrible creature, some of whose number are cannibals because they like to eat innocent goblins. They like to stay underwater and there is much debate about why but this Archivist's theory is that this is because they are embarrassed about being fat and having stupid faces and wish to hide it as much as possible. Their silly little ears are silly looking but the true danger from their face comes from their mouths which are so large as to be stupid.... blah blah blah blah blah

Gobzilla, is there anything you can do for my poor Mergatroid? I've bandaged her tail as best as I can, but she seems too frightened to try another crossing.

mergatroid has 2 hp remaining!

Tabaaac, that's fascinating, I never realized you were such an expert on the strange animals of the canyon. Gemdar, keep pointing out the safe rocks, I'll be on my way as soon as mergatroid can be ready to try again.

"Rawr! Gobzilla can help, Princess. He prepared healing spells today."

Gobzilla promptly has Gaia head over to Ehsmaralduh and begins to channel some of his druidic magic into her wounded Mergatroid. By the time the spell ends, most of the bite damage is healed. Gobzilla seems pleased with his work.

Cure Light Wounds: 1d8 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6

"Rawr! Time for second try! Go Gaia!"

Mounted Dex Roll (Gobzilla Ride Mod, Gobzilla Armor Penalty, No Saddle, Gaia Dex Mod, Gaia Acrobatics): 1d20 + 3 - 3 - 5 + 2 + 7 ⇒ (17) + 3 - 3 - 5 + 2 + 7 = 21

Gaia easily runs across the river without any problems. Gobzilla lets out a triumphant cry as his animal companion leaves his foes in the dust. The Hungry, Hungry Hippos don't even notice them cross until they reach the other bank.

....I could swear I'd posted. Sorry, dunno what happened to it.

"Yes, yes, yes," Wup yells at all the fancy jumping and nice talking. "We need to get Penny Dreadful across, remember?! I mean, Penny! Sillyheads!"

He turns to dash back to the western shore and to the ugly human girl.

Dex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6

Not sure if he's close enough for Gemdar's fortune to work, but if so:

Dex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 20

Thank you! Gobzilla, Mergatroid is so happy to be feeling better.

Day 1, Monday: Turn 91

Gobzilla has joined the others on the east side, followed by the Mighty Wup. Only Tabaac is left standing in the middle of the pond, expounding upon the wonderful nature of Hungry Hungry Hippos

Penny smiles, and then, as if she hasn’t a care in the world, she begins hopping from rock to rock across the pond, even occasionally pausing to scratch the nose of a hippo. To everyone’s surprise, all of the hippos are calm as Penny passes by, even wiggling their ears in delight when she takes a moment to pat one of them.

As Penny passes by Tabaaac she applauds his oration, and then cocks her head to the side to say

It's a good thing Hippo's don't eat Pennies