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Suppose I will continue working on own then. Is fine. Ehh, Ms. Frida? Please steady supply of Fire Storm Whiskey, Jack Sparrow's, and Void Vodka for me. Ehh, with Capra Sun. And cranberry juice. Devic requests from Frida before disappearing into her hole laboratory.
Priorities. This first. Make a name for myself later.
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Chapter IV: Aliens Exist
The next week is a quiet one, other than a few stops at the stores with the group's new cash, shopping from such big names as Styx Sporting Goods and Urdhefan Outfitters.
Then you get a message from Silver asking you to meet her at the nearby Pubway (Mead Fresh!) And that she has an... Interesting assignment for you.
After more recent developments, Devic finds the need to record some further thoughts on the group. She deigns to keep them in the same notebook as last time.
Log entry #12: Update about "Silvers Angels". I was wrong, Skjor isn't the crazy one. All of these people are f@!+ing nuts. It's perfect.
Skjor and Ammon decide the best way to show how non-hostile we are to some terrified natives is to try and start a fistfight with them, then I get the privilege of finding some awfully underground tendencies from our new co-worker. Still need to follow up on that. I'm not standing for finding out I moved across the entire globe to walk into more criminals. I do kinda agree about the Incubi though. It would have been nicer to see them, but with more mud, and instead of weapons they just *a couple of heavily scratched out sentences of writing follow. Maybe for the best.* Then again, I can't imagine whats going on in Geralts head right now. It's like if I had to find out there were some luddite-ass screwholes successfully trying to rewind technological advancement back to when people were banging rocks together and it passed for communication. All that said, there's nowhere else I'd rather be right now. Maybe I'll manage something useful with myself after all. I don't know how someone Silver's age gets where she is. I mean How? She doesn't seem like the Black Widow type. Or, you know, magic.
OH AND THE TENTACLES. How did I forget that?
I suppose I'm ranting by now. Probably my fault. Maybe I should start treating sleep like the biological mandate it is instead of a sort of guideline. I'll try to make a more reasoned entry later at some point.
Devic trudges into the restaurant silently. Although instead of focusing her attention on her phone, it seems like she isn't really focusing on anything at all. She slowly makes her way to the (lets go with) booth, semi aware of requirements to be "cordial".
Zdravstvuy.
I ehh, progress... I think.
Geralt grimaces, the air of the pub not pleasing him at all.
"this is why I don't drink..." he grumbles under his breath as he walks inside. A bit nervously, he scans the bar area hoping that he wasn't the first to arrive. When Geralt catches sight of Devic nose deep in her own world, a relieve grin takes over his unmasked face.
Reajusting his glasses, he walks over and offers a quick hello.
Ehh, I ask something? Devic starts examining the spoon at the table, still not looking at her guest, she already knows who it is from the voice.
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With just a week of having researched the specimens of the time strain sent to her, Devic discovers that there is part organic substance in the purple goo. Nothing human, or even remotely resembling such. Rather, it has pinged on the Outsider radar, though in no one specific subtype.
Additionally, the goo appears to be heavily infused with magic. Not only to alter time, but Necromancy appears to have something to do with it.
Pubway is a bright establishment where the employess are forced to wear an unfortunate, bright uniform whilst they fill up foaming mugs of beer and sweet, sweet mead. Silver is sitting at one of the tables, Frieda by her side. Silver drinking a frothy mug of ale, and Frida picking at a mixed green salad.
Zdravstvuy. Silver said with a nod at Devic. Go ahead, ask.
I'm glad you asked, Skjor. Silver said. Very recently, gas-station across the flyover states of America have been disappearing, employees included. Odd, yes, but then, inexplicably, a, entire Dungeon Crawl-Mart disappeared off the face of Columbus, Ohio. Do you know what this means?
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“I.. well, I was wondering if we could go to the range again? I’m out of practice.”
“Really? You want to go shooting? That’s why you asked me to come all the way out in the middle of nowhere?”
“Ray, we’re half of a mile away from New York City.”
“Middle. Of. Nowhere, Dee-Dee.” Whatever sense of apprehension Devic still had about her idea vanished when she heard her old nickname. The months of living on her own for the first time had all gone away, as if she had just finished talking to her brother.
”That nickname’s still s&*$ty and I hate it. And you’re dumb. And stupid. And shi-”
“Yeah, yeah. You don’t go to target practice with these fellas you work with?”
“I’m pretty sure none of them own guns. Somehow. Against all logic they’ve decided it would be cool to risk running into a hail of gunfire from a humvee with no way to retaliate. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“So you went with that shield idea you were talking about?”
“Yeah. Ready?” Over the course of the rest of the relatively pleasant day, the sibling duo engaged themselves with their ranged devices at the Dragon Breath Gallery.. Despite constantly sending messages while the two were separated by the Pacific Ocean they found plenty to talk about, all in earshot of the other patrons. Evidently none of them understood russian.
”Have you been keeping busy, Dee-dee?”
“Always am. Uh, this morning I made these uhh, not quite sure how to describe them, but the design helps keep spells from sticking. They look weird, but the other option was a friggin’ cape.” Devic produces the objects in question from her bag.
“They look like giant bolts. Wait, a cape? What, are you putting these in your shoulders?”
“Of course not. They go on other clothes for now.”
...For now?
“So… When are you gonna tell me the real reason you asked me to come down here? We aren’t exactly a walk down the street away you know.” A long pause follows Raikov’s question. He always does know when she’s holding something out. Like their mother.
”I... I how do I explain? I’ve been thinking. About some not-quite academic things for once.”
“What do you mean? Do you mean like-oh! Do you have a boyfriend finally?” He says only about half joking, disregarding the huge sneering grin anyway.
“No Ray.” Devic whacks the table in frustration.
”Aw, dumbass is gonna be disappointed.”
“Anyway. No, I’ve been thinking about what I’m gonna do with this work. All the time and effort I’ve been putting into development. With the kind of resources my boss can pull in, I’m about on the cusp of a significant breakthrough. But the last time I went on a mission, I remembered how satisfying it was to have all of that effort, all the nights I work through culminating into something tangible. It’s... nice.”
“I can imagine, but where are you going with this?”
“On the other hand, I still have to face the fact that I’m going to be stuck in dangerous situations constantly. I really don’t like the idea of having to face down other people. But, I need to. So, I need to get better at it. ” Ray folds his arms, with an eyebrow up.
“You never even used to consider the idea of killing someone.”
“I don’t look behind myself. Distracts from the horizon.”
“Heh. You want to be able to help these people more?”
“And me. But, that’s about right.”
“You know? Maybe I can stick around for a few days. After all you could use the pointers. Almost hit half these targets. D’you grow a lazy eye since you left?”
Ah hah. Rest. Yes. Is what I did.
Is ehh, any way I check out portals before use next? Devic still seems half-awake.
You could. Silver said. But I am afraid that you won't be using the portal network this time. None of them lead to Ohio, you see. Call it oversight, but I didn't need to go there quite so frequently, what with it being Ohio.
Frida jumps in. Against my requests not to, Silver will be loaning you her private jet.
"That actually hurts Frida, hits me right where I feel" Geralt lays a hand over his heart and gives a mock sad look on his face.
Turning to Silver while sipping some coffee, Geralt says "does it mean we are dealing with some people who REALLY likes dungeon marts?....and gas?"
Could mean different things. Maybe they owned by same guy. Ehh, or abductors need materials for project. Those unlikely. Could be bizarre collectors doing.Devic muses while pretending to remember where Ohio is. She's not fully "there" yet, but joining the conversation at least.
Ammon arrives late unlike usual oddly enough a text book in his hands The Art of Creation . Dressed in simple rough cotton clothing instead of his armor, even lacking his blade. Sorry i'm late, been studying...Turns out creating something from nothing is hard. Ammon sit's down, closes the textbook. So what do you need me to hit next?
Frida remains unaffected by Geralts mock sadness, merely pushing up her glasses.
We're not quite sure, to be honest, Skjor Silver said. We were hoping that a certain oddball team would go ahead and investigate it further.
Aliens. Answered Frida to Ammon's question in complete seriousness. UFOs to be more specific.
Devic drops the spoon.
A-are you sure? She speaks quickly.
Ammon has a look of confusion and excitementWhat kind of Aliens are we talking about? like little green men, giant reptilian things, just people, ooh or maybe robots.
Ooh! Or energy beings? Cybernetics? Thing fungus based? Devic also ends up showing excitement at the possibilities.
Or maybe Cthulu monsters? Ape Men? intelligent alien Dinosaurs...This is going to be so cool! Ammon continue's getting overly excited right along with Devic
If it's Cthulhu, I think we'll have a lot more to worry about than disappearing superstores. Frida said in deadpan. Are you ready? She asked, standing up. I'd be content with leading you there and dropping you off in Ohio.
She's the best pilot I have. Silver said with a grin.
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Skjor was quick to scoff at the thought of it being aliens. "It is more likely a bored mage playing tricks upon the populace. Illusions and teleport spells will be the cause, just watch." Standing up, and draining the last of his mead, he nodded to Madame Silver. "Let us go and put an end to this pesky mage's fun."
"I really hope its not Cthulhu, I don't think we have a necronomicon just laying around here..." Geralt adds, getting off his seat and cracking his back.
At the mention of Frida flying the plane, Geralt adds to Silver "is there anything she can't do?...besides maybe have fun at parties?"
Ehh, let go! Where parked? Devic gets out of her seat, rifling through her bag to make sure everythings in order.
You'd be surprised what we keep just lying around here. Frida said, no sign of sarcasm or a grin.
She can't sing. Silver said. Don't ask me how we know. Let's just say there's a reason she doesn't have fun at office parties.
Frida pretends not to hear that and leads the group to the roof where the plane sits but seems to have no room to take off. She seats them in the luxurious aircraft, pressed the button to a remote, and a high-def hd flatscreen appears. Feel free to peruse the Blu-Ray collection for this trip. She said before vanishing into the cockpit. In a few minutes, you hear something, looking out the windows, one would see a magically contructed runway of hard light materialize in front the aircraft, and you take to the skies.
Devic yawns profusely before taking her seat. Not much use for a window if you can't see out of it.
Peruse nap maybe. The barely verbal reaction comes from the russian embedding herself into the seat.
Geralt stays silent throughout the trip, pale white at the possibility of all the evil artifacts that he could have been sleeping near.
In due time, a buzzer sounds and Frida speaks out. Beginning descent. She said. We've been given permission to land by the most recent missing gas-station.
The plane drops. Ears pop, and Frida's voice sounds again.
You are dismissed. She said bluntly.
Outside the plane, in front of you, you see a large field of flat concrete and broken pipes where a gas station used to be, along with a squad of police officers and a detective, a heavily-bearded and burly human in a trench coat, walks to greet you.
You da team Silvah sent? He asked.
Frida comes from the plane to join the group. Yes. They are. She said before you are given the chance to answer.
You believe in this alien stuff they been talkin' about? He asked.
No. We don't. Frida said, again, intercepting anyone else's answers.
Devic, more than happy to let someone else do the talking, tries to make her way to the crime scene. She barely notices that Frida seems to have turned a 180 on her stance of alien involvement.
Devic hasn't been around this many people in a while.
All police huh?
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Well used to plane rides by now, Skjor took the time to compose new music for his next album. Using inspiration from his recent adventures and new comrades, he felt that this album would be one of the best yet.
As they touched down, Skjor calmly left the plane and watched as Frida took command of the situation.
Frida takes the detective further away from the team and appears to slip him a few credits. She returns to the team. We'll have some time alone. She said. Proceed with your investigations, and if you come across anything, shall we say... Not of this world... Come to me, first. Civilians and officers don't need to know about it, yet. She said, pausing. We have enough doom cults preaching the end of the earth as it is.
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With permission granted to investigate, Skjor made his way towards the barren lot, his eyes scanning for anything and everything. Unfortunately, he wasn't used to searching crime scenes, or even being at one, that he found nothing other than some empty wrappers and a half-empty beer bottle. Even his spells didn't help him much.
Not much is found for the long time spent investigating. It begins to grow dark. The cops are far off drinking coffee and talking quiet enough not to hear them.
This is hopeless. Frida muttered to the group. We're not going to find anything. Alien or otherwise. Whatever did this is probably a million lightyears-
Then a flash of light.
Away...
In the blink of an eye, you're not in the empty lot anymore.
You're in a bright white, quasi-futuristic room, loaded to the brim with cardboard boxes and bags of Doritos.
The hell... Frida starts.
And then, you see a face, someone you didn't expect to see here.
The hell...
Chto yebesh? Devic was quite sure she wasn't inspecting a white wall a moment ago. She wheels around to face whoever else is in the room withdrawing her favorite gun. Also her only gun.
And then, you see a face, someone you didn't expect to see here.
"Well it's certainly good to see a familiar face around here." Ramiel says as he pulls his bandanna down off the lower half of his face to take a drink from a soda bottle. "Or any face, really. How long has it been and do you have a way out of here?"
Devic widens her eyes at the sight of her comrade and lowers the gun. Apparently he really did disappear off the face of the earth.
Ehh, Hi Ramiel! Dont know. Lose track time.
Knew was aliens. She doesnt look away, but the last sentence is definitely directed to skjor, viking lord of skeptics.
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As the group disappeared in a flash of light, only to appear somewhere else, Skjor immediately withdrew Aegis. Then Rammiel popped his face up. "This wizard is annoying me greatly," he told the others after greeting their lost companion. "It is good to see you again, but we must find the wayward mage and have his send us back, along with everything else he took. Also," he added as he grabbed a bag of Doritos, "this bag wasn't here when we got here."
"Actually they were here before me as far as I can tell. Ramiel explains. "A good thing too, since it's all I've had to eat for as long as I've been here. I don't suppose any of you have a burger or something?"
Only a small bag of trail rations, sorry buddy. Ammon say's taking this all rather well. He let's out a sigh plopping on the floor, with a heavy metallic thud, he removes his armors helmet though only temporarily,How have you been? Have you by chance taken a look at the room? it'd be nice to get out and explore
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I was wondering where he disappeared off to after the Amazon. Frida said. Now if only we can find those other guys...
Upon Ammon's question, the far side of the room buzzed and opened up, revealing a trio of meter-tall grey-skinned aliens with orange dust around their mouths. To Rameil's recount, they came in, grabbed a few Doritos, and left without a word.
They pause the the group, stare them down, and then open their mouths to speak.
Parece que hemos recogido más formas de vida. One said in a voice that sounded disturbingly like Antonia bandaras.
Si. Said another.
You have got to be kidding me. Frida said, blinking.
The third scanned the lifeforms, a flash of light in all of their eyes.
The first one speaks again, this time english, in a voice near identical to Stephen Fry.
Might I ask what is your reason for being in the way of our teleporter?
It's very annoying. Said the third, his voice and accent replicating Samuel L Jackson.
Are you all hearing this, too? Frida asked the group, dumbfounded.
*Incapacitated with laughter.*
Devic starts with a quiet giggle. But very quickly loses not just her composure, but her ability to stand on her own feet. The laughter is higher-pitched than one would expect. After a while she manages to control herself.
Ahh... unintended. Teleporter interesting. Speak Russian at all? Communicate better.
PleasetellmeyourecollectingthingsPleasetellmeyourecollectingthingsPleasetel lmeyourecollectingthings
"...¿por qué? Debido a que usted es maldito teleporter nos tiró con el resto de sus ganancias de ladrones!" Ramiel snaps as lightning crackles between his fingertips. "¡No puedo entender por qué te llevas estas cosas! ¡Es comida basura!"
One of the trio quickly flashes Devic in the eyes.
My delayem seychas. The Alien said with an exaggerated accent and tone of voice unfortunately close to Chekov from Star Trek.
El teletransportador es propenso a secuestrar seres errantes y vacas cuando la parcela es relevante. Es una perra.
We are here, Started the Stephen Fry alien. To uncover the secret plaguing us since our arrival in this system. The formulae behind the prophetic mana, a substance found only in this planet. The Dorito. He said, adding much relevence to that triangular chip.
Frida opens her mouth to express disbelief, then quickly closes it, giving up at thiis point.
Unfortunately, we have picked up more than a few Dorito guardians. We have been as of yet unable to extract information behind the formula from them, no matter what tests we conducted on them.
¿Sondeo anal? The spanish alien asked.
You're right, we haven't tried that, yet. He then turns to the group, staring for a long moment.
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Skjor was at a loss for words. They wanted the secret to...Doritos? Before he could stop himself, he let out great booming laughs, clutching his side with each shake. "Y-Y-you've b-been taking people to learn ab-bout chips?!" Unable to continue speaking?, he found himself rolling on the floor.
Devic manages to stand up straight finally before continuing to speak, and speak quickly for once at that.
Отлично! Таким образом, вы здесь для тортилий с некоторой Начо пыли? Мы, вероятно, может помочь. Я могу использовать компьютеры очень хорошо. Химия и. Вы не собираетесь напасть на Землю после того, как вы получите ... все, что вы хотите от этого? Если вы говорили с сотрудниками в магазинах наугад, я сомневаюсь, что даже самый тщательный анальный зонд собирается помочь.
i am so confused, they came here for junk food? I mean they taste good, but not galactic travel good. Ammon seems legitimately stunned.
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His face stretching impossibly wide under his face mask, Geralt saunters over to Frida with eyes full of mischief.
"hey Frida..." Geralt purrs out, words rolling off his tongue "...how does it feel to eat your words so quickly?"
Leaning closer to whisper his next words, Geralt grabs a bag of doritos and says "think it taste better then these Doritos?
Why is the larger hairy one laughing? Asked the Samuel L Jackson alien as it switched back to english.
Frida shot a look at Geralt. I never said I didn't believe in aliens. She said. It was an ommision of the truth for the police's sake. She rubbed at her eyes underneath her glasses. I feel like the divines are punishing me for something.
The Doritos are a religious experience unlike even the strongest of incenses found on our homeworld. We would be most grateful for any aid provided to us. The british alien explained. Why on earth would we attack earth? We have a perfectly functioning planet of our own free from the horrors of planetary warfare, global warming, and the Kardashians.
After you aid us with this. The third alien said, switching to a voice not disimilar to Alec Baldwin. You will be pleased to know that you and the other lifeforms picked up around here will be allowed to take part of our intergalactic zoo. Whether you like it or not.
"...I must admit, him sounding like D-list celebrity and B-list conductor Alec Baldwin is making that zoo offer more enticing..." Geralt says fiddling with the bag of doritos,not really paying attention, why can't he open it?
"...but if I'm in a zoo, how will I be able to do stuff I enjoy? Like drinking coffee? Or trying to impress ladies but failing drastically?"