PFS PBP We Be Goblins (+Too) (Inactive)

Game Master Revvy Bitterleaf

Stirge Map

Boar Map

Munchmeat Farm


1 to 50 of 476 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>
Scarab Sages

Gameplay open for dotting

Scarab Sages

You are goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump Marsh, south of the hated man-town called Sandpoint. Once, other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn’t bring enough fire, and got themselves illed as a result. Yesterday, your tribe discovered that one of your own had been using forbidden arts and was engaged in one of the greatest of taboos—writing things down. In fact, rumor holds that what he was writing was a history of your tribe! There’s no swifter way to bring about bad luck than stealing words out of your mind by writing them down, and so your tribe had no choice. You branded the goblin’s face with letters to punish him, which is why everyone calls him Scribbleface now, and then you ran him out of town, took all of his stuff, and burned down his hut.

That’s where things got interesting, because before you all burned down his hut, Chief Gutwad found a weird box within the building. Inside was a map and a lot of fireworks—fireworks that immediately came to use in burning the hut down. Then, this morning, Gutwad announced that tonight there would be a feast in order to drive out any lingering bad luck from Scribbleface’s poor decisions. But perhaps even more exciting, all of you have been secretly invited to meet at Chief Gutwad’s Moot House. Why would the chief want to speak to you? It can only mean that he’s got an important mission for you all... one that the other goblins of the tribe couldn’t pull off. This could be your chance to go down in Licktoad history!

Scarab Sages

You all except your secret invitation to meet at Chief Gutwad's Moot house and make your way to the center of the village where you see you are not the only goblin invited to this meeting! The outrage. There's at least *counts fingers* _this_ (somewhere between 3 and 5) many goblins here.

Sczarni

Female Goblin AC 20 (T 14, FF 17) HP 24/30 Init +3 Fort +5 Refl +4 Will +2 (+1 vs. Fear) CMB/CMD +3/16 Speed 30 ft Darkvision 60 ft
Skills:
Perception +10 Ride +9 Stealth +10
Melee mwk dogslicer +8 (1d4+1/19–20) Ranged mwk shortbow +8 (1d4/×3)

Move aside! Move aside! You's in RETA BIGBAD'S PATH ON way to VERY IMPORTANT MEETING!


Male Goblin Adept 1 AC 14 (T 13, FF 12) HP 3/5 Fort +0 Ref +0 Will +3 Init +6 CMB/CMD +-3/9 Speed 30 ft
Skills:
Ride +6, Spellcraft +3, Stealth +10

Poog came around the corner and saw Reta coming his way. He ran a bit faster and said "What you doing here? This not for girls! Me was here first!"

Sczarni

Female Goblin AC 20 (T 14, FF 17) HP 24/30 Init +3 Fort +5 Refl +4 Will +2 (+1 vs. Fear) CMB/CMD +3/16 Speed 30 ft Darkvision 60 ft
Skills:
Perception +10 Ride +9 Stealth +10
Melee mwk dogslicer +8 (1d4+1/19–20) Ranged mwk shortbow +8 (1d4/×3)

Girls rule and BOYS DROOL! Everyone knows! Even THIS SPIDER!

Digging around in one of her many pockets, Reta finds a largish brown hairy spider and throws it at Poog's hair to distract him while she jockeys for position at the door.


Male Goblin Alchemist 1

Mogmurch stares at his mate and her beautiful, big toothy smile. "I AM COMING MY LOVELY" he yells, and tries to jump down his hut, where he was trying to fix the latest hole he made with his alchemy. Unfortunately, he trips on top of his hut and falls straight on his head only to bounce right up with no signs of injury and hurries to Reta's side.

Scarab Sages

A door in the chieftan's hut opens and a pompous overdressed goblin standing in the door way looking at you.

"If youz are finished, we have _secret_ meeting now. Not draw attention of whole village by screaming at each others. You goes in now. Big meeting now."

Chief ’s Moot House is a veritable museum of Licktoad heroics— crammed with trophies such as stolen weapons,shiny bits of treasure,and the brine-pickled bodies of dozens of brutally slaughtered small furry animals (mostly dogs). His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad rules Licktoad Village from atop the great Teeter Chair, which is 6 feet high and allows him to more properly look down on his subjects (which includes you).
By tradition, Chief Gutwad does not speak directly to his
subjects (again, this includes you). Instead, he employs an advisor through whom he whispers instructions, for Chief Gutwad has convinced his
goblins that the words that come out of his mouth are so mighty that they might frighten away all the words in the heads of lesser goblins. Only his duly appointed advisor, (an overdressed, pompous goblin) named Slorb can handle the might of the chief ’s words without being overcome by fear.

Sczarni

Female Goblin AC 20 (T 14, FF 17) HP 24/30 Init +3 Fort +5 Refl +4 Will +2 (+1 vs. Fear) CMB/CMD +3/16 Speed 30 ft Darkvision 60 ft
Skills:
Perception +10 Ride +9 Stealth +10
Melee mwk dogslicer +8 (1d4+1/19–20) Ranged mwk shortbow +8 (1d4/×3)

Reta pushes to the front to be first behind Slorb, only to be tripped and trampled by Poog and Redboom. She recovers by climbing over them to fall before the Teeter Chair in a crumpled heap.

Oooooh, Great and Powerful Moot, Reta BigBad here to accept Great Honor, she says from the floor.

She looks to the others.

With HELPERS!


Male Goblin Adept 1 AC 14 (T 13, FF 12) HP 3/5 Fort +0 Ref +0 Will +3 Init +6 CMB/CMD +-3/9 Speed 30 ft
Skills:
Ride +6, Spellcraft +3, Stealth +10

Poog kneels in the dust in front of the chair after beeing pushed to the floor by Reta. He hides behind Reta, just in case the Chief starts talking nobody will see he's afraid of him. "At your service my Mighty Girthness, whatever you demand!"

Scarab Sages

The pompously dressed goblin says:" You have great honor now, youz sits in mud at feet of GREAT Chief Gutwad""

This is about the greatest honor you can have as a goblin in this tribe

Going to wait a bit to give the last player a chance to join in on the gameplay, I will continue tomorrow with the rest of the the story

Scarab Sages

To your surprise and horror Great chief Gutwad starts to speak to you directly! In a deep booming voice he says;

"You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you aren’t fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a dangerous mission. “You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface’s hut. Fireworks were fun. But map is more fun. It shows a route to a place near the coast where Scribbleface found fireworks.
And it says there are more fireworks there! “I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks. If you meet men, you make them dead. If you meet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!"

Great Chief Gutwad motions to Slorb and the pompously dressed goblin holds out a map for one of you to take.

"Youz goes out of Chief's hut now! I mighty chief have spoken!"

Sczarni

Female Goblin AC 20 (T 14, FF 17) HP 24/30 Init +3 Fort +5 Refl +4 Will +2 (+1 vs. Fear) CMB/CMD +3/16 Speed 30 ft Darkvision 60 ft
Skills:
Perception +10 Ride +9 Stealth +10
Melee mwk dogslicer +8 (1d4+1/19–20) Ranged mwk shortbow +8 (1d4/×3)

With a squeal Reta leaps forward to grab the map. Stuffing it under her veil she runs outside, screaming

Woot woot woot woot woot woot woot... You get the idea

Once outside she stops abruptly, having forgotten why she was running.


Male Goblin AC 19 (T 15, FF 14). HP 11/11, Fort +2, Ref +6, Will +0. Init +4, CMB/CMD -1/13, Speed 30ft.
Skills:
Acrobatics +7, Appraise +6, Climb +3, Disable Device +7, Escape Artist +7, Knowledge (local) +6, Perception +4, Sleight of Hand +7, Stealth +15

While Gutwad was talking Chuffy proceeded to lick an ornate skull in Gutwad's hut. Paying more attention to licking the skull properly and trying to reach all the holes with his tongue, Chuffy missed the entire speech. However his ears perked at the word "feed".

"Feeding time? What's for dindins?"


Male Goblin Adept 1 AC 14 (T 13, FF 12) HP 3/5 Fort +0 Ref +0 Will +3 Init +6 CMB/CMD +-3/9 Speed 30 ft
Skills:
Ride +6, Spellcraft +3, Stealth +10

Poog stands up and runs out of the building. "Wait, me is also a heroe! Me kills Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many not runs away!"

Sczarni

Female Goblin AC 20 (T 14, FF 17) HP 24/30 Init +3 Fort +5 Refl +4 Will +2 (+1 vs. Fear) CMB/CMD +3/16 Speed 30 ft Darkvision 60 ft
Skills:
Perception +10 Ride +9 Stealth +10
Melee mwk dogslicer +8 (1d4+1/19–20) Ranged mwk shortbow +8 (1d4/×3)

Youse lie!

Reta digs out a toad from somewhere in her corset.

Doesn't he, Spotol my pretty?

She pokes Poog in the chest with a grimy finger.

You no kills Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many! It eats my cousin just last night! Take-backsies!

Spotol croaks disjointedly, which Reta takes as support for her position.


Male Goblin Adept 1 AC 14 (T 13, FF 12) HP 3/5 Fort +0 Ref +0 Will +3 Init +6 CMB/CMD +-3/9 Speed 30 ft
Skills:
Ride +6, Spellcraft +3, Stealth +10

"Me not lie! You will see! I'm bravest hero in Licktoad Tribe and the whole swamp! I kill Logslegs and then you marry me!" Poog says as loud as he can, lifting himself onto his toes to grow a bit bigger.

Sczarni

Female Goblin AC 20 (T 14, FF 17) HP 24/30 Init +3 Fort +5 Refl +4 Will +2 (+1 vs. Fear) CMB/CMD +3/16 Speed 30 ft Darkvision 60 ft
Skills:
Perception +10 Ride +9 Stealth +10
Melee mwk dogslicer +8 (1d4+1/19–20) Ranged mwk shortbow +8 (1d4/×3)

Reta adopts her sweetest "bashful princess" pose.

Youse like me? Come have a kiss, big strong goblin.

If he does:
Reta kisses him, bending him over in a dip while she digs around in his pockets for something random to steal.

Sleight of Hand is not useable untrained, but she's really not hiding it so I'm going to roll just to see how well she does. Whatever she finds, it's probably multilegged and/or greasy.

Pick Pocket: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (8) + 3 = 11


Male Goblin AC 19 (T 15, FF 14). HP 11/11, Fort +2, Ref +6, Will +0. Init +4, CMB/CMD -1/13, Speed 30ft.
Skills:
Acrobatics +7, Appraise +6, Climb +3, Disable Device +7, Escape Artist +7, Knowledge (local) +6, Perception +4, Sleight of Hand +7, Stealth +15

Chuffy jumps in and gives Reta one large wet lick with his tongue. Unfortunately, one of his postules pops due to the strain of opening his toothy mouth so wide.
Looking at a slimy Reta, he smiles a satisfactory smile while saying
" Oh Reta I knew you couldn't resist me!"

He runs off snickering and laughing " Rheta loves Chuffy! Rheta loves Chuffy! Hehehehe."

Scarab Sages

When you look around when you get outside the Chief's hut you see the other goblins from your town busy preparing for the Big Feast already.

Goblins toil all afternoon to build the bonfire out of branches, sticks, and unburnt timbers taken from the ruins of Scribbleface’s hut. As night falls, a group of four struggling goblins carry the Teeter Chair (with Chief Gutwad sitting atop it) out to the bonfire, and the chief lights the fire with a magic stick which fires small balls of fire in lotsa pretty colours (A Desnan candle - a piece of fireworks) This signals the start of an all-night party that features lots of good things to eat (snails, fish, and snakes)

The chief also lets a burly goblin bring out a barrel of fermenting cider apples early on and most goblins get drunk very quickly.

If any of you want to drink from Chief's Special Fermented Apple Cider, you can ...but you need to roll a Fort save.

If you don't make a DC 8 fort save::

The bubbling in your belly makes you feel not so good Sickend for the next 24 hours

You can party, make plans with each other, get drunk,look at the map, make the rest of the town jealous of your status as big hero of tribe (not necessarily in that order ;)....act like a goblin while you wait for the party games to commence.

Sczarni

Female Goblin AC 20 (T 14, FF 17) HP 24/30 Init +3 Fort +5 Refl +4 Will +2 (+1 vs. Fear) CMB/CMD +3/16 Speed 30 ft Darkvision 60 ft
Skills:
Perception +10 Ride +9 Stealth +10
Melee mwk dogslicer +8 (1d4+1/19–20) Ranged mwk shortbow +8 (1d4/×3)

Well, why *wouldn't* you get sloppy drunk on Chief's Special Fermented Apple Cider?

Fortitude: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (14) + 4 = 18 Reta BigBad is Queen of the World!

Reta drinks, dances, woots, drinks some more, woots louder, dances louder (yes, that's a thing now -- you're welcome), makes googly eyes at several cute boyglins (you're welcome again), regales her followers with tales of her upcoming heroism (told in past tense, of course) and, to top off the evening, peeks up Slorb's robes when he's not looking.

Being a goblin is not *too* far off being a sophomore in college.


Male Goblin AC 19 (T 15, FF 14). HP 11/11, Fort +2, Ref +6, Will +0. Init +4, CMB/CMD -1/13, Speed 30ft.
Skills:
Acrobatics +7, Appraise +6, Climb +3, Disable Device +7, Escape Artist +7, Knowledge (local) +6, Perception +4, Sleight of Hand +7, Stealth +15

Chuffy digs his head in the cider taking big gulps and possibly ruining the cider for the other drinkers due to some postules popping.
fortitude: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 211d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 17 Chuffy can roll twice to avoid sickened conditions and take the better result
Triumphantly he roars "All fear the mighty Chuffy! He will stabs Loglegs to death until he dies!".
He jumps down from the table the cider keg was on and starts licking female and male goblins indiscriminately shouting "You are now blessed! May your postules grow large and pop in your enemies eyes!"


Male Goblin Adept 1 AC 14 (T 13, FF 12) HP 3/5 Fort +0 Ref +0 Will +3 Init +6 CMB/CMD +-3/9 Speed 30 ft
Skills:
Ride +6, Spellcraft +3, Stealth +10

Poog looks at the cider after Chuffy put his head into it not sure if it is a good idea to drink from it. Then he took a stick, stired the cider to mix it with the slime and took a big gulp.

Fortituted: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10

Poog starts hopping around and starts singing "Poog say Zarongel is the best, he help burn things and heal the rest."

Scarab Sages

As you are all drinking the apple cider you see lotsa goblin looking and pointing fingers at you.

One of them walks up to you and says:"So yousa big heroes now are's you? Prooves it I sayz! You Do the Squeely Nord Dare! If you do not do You be coward! If you do, you might be big hero!"

Is it me or hasn't our Mogmurch/Red Boom posted in a few days?


Male Goblin Alchemist 1

Red Boom, who blanked out for a good long while due to falling in his head, regains consciousness in Great Chief Gutwads hut. Confused as no one who was originally with him is there anymore, he runs out of the hit, screaming at the top of his lungs
"Where is everyone? RETA? MY LOVELY? DID LOTSLEG EAT GOBLIN BABIES EAT MANY EAT YOU? AHHHHHHHHH!"
Shortly after his little episode, he tripped and fell again on his head, only to bounce back up with no apparent issues. Red Boom looked out to gather his bearings and saw the party.
"PARTY!"
Unfortunately, Red Boom heard Poog's comment about Zarongel being the best with fire, and to try and prove him wrong, he threw a Molotov cocktail made of cider and clothe from something that looks like a towel to dry off goblin saliva and caught it on fire from a torch.
WHO'S THE BEST AT FIRE NOW POOG!" and tossed the bomb toward Poog, landing near his feet.


Male Goblin Alchemist 1

" Squeely Nord Dare? I can do that! What is the Squeely Nord Dare? Does it involve fire and bodies?"

Sorry about that. I didn't know what to say for a while. Won't happen again!

Scarab Sages

Several goblins start to cheer. "Squeely Nord!, Squeely Nord! Let's go to the fierce boar! Watchim stomp on other gobbo's! There's even more then one victim to try! Lotsa and lotsa fun!" and then lead you to a muddy pit in the middle of the village, right next to the goblin baby cages.The pit itself is circular, nearly 20 feet in diameter, and just over 10 feet deep. All the goblins from the town surround the edge of the pit to watch to soon to come carnage. There is a pig tethered somewhere to the side.

A goblin with a limp tells you;"To face the Dance of Squeely Nord you must ride him for this many fingers worth of count", he repeats _this_ many (and holds up a different amount of fingers).

You can easily mount it and then it's released into the pit trying to get rid of you while squeeling the whole time..

In order to win the challenge you must ride on Squeely Nord for a full 18 seconds (3 rounds by making a ride check each round).

Everyone can try, but there can be only one winner. So in good goblin tradition I'm going to go with first come first serve ;) There will be more games, so everyone should have a chance to win at something. If you want to enter the challenge, roll 3 ride checks and I will determine the result(s).)


Male Goblin AC 19 (T 15, FF 14). HP 11/11, Fort +2, Ref +6, Will +0. Init +4, CMB/CMD -1/13, Speed 30ft.
Skills:
Acrobatics +7, Appraise +6, Climb +3, Disable Device +7, Escape Artist +7, Knowledge (local) +6, Perception +4, Sleight of Hand +7, Stealth +15

"Oo, a squeely one! If I wins I gets to eats it first!

Chuffy jumps on the pig gives it a good lick and yells "Release it, the sooner I can eats it!
ride: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (17) + 8 = 251d20 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 121d20 + 8 ⇒ (12) + 8 = 20

Scarab Sages

Red Boom wrote:


Sorry about that. I didn't know what to say for a while. Won't happen again!

Not a problem, but if you check and have nothing to say..just post something like ;Red Boom watches what X does, just so we know your still around. Because if everyone happens to have nothing to say, nothing will happen and people will start to check in less and less. This way they at least know other people are around.

Sczarni

Female Goblin AC 20 (T 14, FF 17) HP 24/30 Init +3 Fort +5 Refl +4 Will +2 (+1 vs. Fear) CMB/CMD +3/16 Speed 30 ft Darkvision 60 ft
Skills:
Perception +10 Ride +9 Stealth +10
Melee mwk dogslicer +8 (1d4+1/19–20) Ranged mwk shortbow +8 (1d4/×3)

Reta pushes everyone aside, screaming RETA BIGBAD IS HEROEIST HERO OF ALL! and jumps into the pit.

Ride: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (18) + 11 = 291d20 + 11 ⇒ (20) + 11 = 311d20 + 11 ⇒ (4) + 11 = 15

Scarab Sages

Reta pushes everyone aside but by the time she reaches the pit Chuffy has already beaten her to it sitting on top of the fierce boar grinning.

Squeely North is released and Chuffy manages to hang on for..5 second. The goblins watching start to hoot with glee, then they gasp and after that they cheer (for Squeely to toss Chuffy off) but Chuffy manages to stay on the pig for the full time surprising most of the goblins present.

When Squeely North starts to get tired Chuffy get's of without any problems.

Then Chuffy is led in front of big Chief Gutwad on his "throne"

The chief motions to the pompously glad goblin at his side, who climbs up the chair and listens to while the chief whispers something. Then the chief hands him something and he climbs down again.

Slorb says in his nasal voice; "You'se proofed you'se a big hero of tribe now. You've earned this"

Slorb hands Chuffy a gourd.

"This be great important magical potion.It be Dragon Brew Gourd. You drink it, you belch BIG fire, then later..you belch another fire..and later then that..you belch another little fire" (It's an elixer of fire breath)

Slorb then points at the other goblins

"Now's you'se who have to proof you'se also heroes of tribe! You'se do next dare. If you'se loose Chuffy can try to show how realz hero does dare."

Scarab Sages

Slorb motions for a big fat goblin to come forward who is holding a closed wicker basket containing a bunch of bags.

"It be time for Dare of Eat Bag of Bull Slugs Real Quick"

He waits for the fat goblin to give each of you a bag which moves around in your hands when you accept it. When you open it to look inside you see it's filled with as many slugs as you have fingers (well...most of you barring accident will have 5 fingers). The slugs are as large as a sausage, black, covered in slime and wriggling.

"You eat slugs now. First one to eat all slugs without spitting out whole slug wins. If none of you winz, Chuffy can try"

You have to eat the slugs, which isn't to hard but because they are covered in slime and moving around in your mouth while you chew each slug will take a DC 15 fort save to swallow or only a DC 10 fort save if you don't spit out the mildly poisonous slime bladder—but neglecting to take care not to eat the slime bladder could have repercussions later). Eating a slug is a full-round action (because of the squirming), and a goblin who fails a save can attempt to swallow the same slug on the following round. You have a maximum of 1 minute - so 10 attempts, of which you need to make 5 successes. You can stop once you make 5 successes, after that there's nothing to eat left ;)


Male Goblin Adept 1 AC 14 (T 13, FF 12) HP 3/5 Fort +0 Ref +0 Will +3 Init +6 CMB/CMD +-3/9 Speed 30 ft
Skills:
Ride +6, Spellcraft +3, Stealth +10

Poog was silent during the squeeley Nord dare, because he's really bad at riding. But he wants to try eating slugs. bladder will be spit out

Eat Slug: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 3 = 23
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20

Eat Slug: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (15) + 3 = 18
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (14) + 3 = 17

Eat Slug: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (2) + 3 = 5

Eat Slug: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9

He managed to eat four slugs, the last one was moving too much, impossible to swallow.

Sczarni

Female Goblin AC 20 (T 14, FF 17) HP 24/30 Init +3 Fort +5 Refl +4 Will +2 (+1 vs. Fear) CMB/CMD +3/16 Speed 30 ft Darkvision 60 ft
Skills:
Perception +10 Ride +9 Stealth +10
Melee mwk dogslicer +8 (1d4+1/19–20) Ranged mwk shortbow +8 (1d4/×3)

Reta squeals in delight. Slimy slugs! Slimy slugs! Slides down squirmin'! Spitting out the bladders

Eat Slug: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (6) + 4 = 10 Ooh, EXTRA squirmy!
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (18) + 4 = 22 Gulp!
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (8) + 4 = 12 Ooh, extra SLIMY!
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23 Gulp!
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (11) + 4 = 15 Gulp!
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (16) + 4 = 20 Gulp! RETA BIGBAD going to WIN!
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9 The slug actually manages to make it partially past her lips before she slurps it back.
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (16) + 4 = 20 Gulp! Buuuuuuuuuuuuuurp!

Mmmm. TASTE EVEN BETTER second time!


Male Goblin AC 19 (T 15, FF 14). HP 11/11, Fort +2, Ref +6, Will +0. Init +4, CMB/CMD -1/13, Speed 30ft.
Skills:
Acrobatics +7, Appraise +6, Climb +3, Disable Device +7, Escape Artist +7, Knowledge (local) +6, Perception +4, Sleight of Hand +7, Stealth +15

Chuffy greedily takes the gourd, he knows some fun applications for this.

He raises his arm with the gourd and yells: "Who is youse hero now? Chuffy is! Now for real prize. Lets make Squeely SQUEEL!!!

He draws his knife and approaches Squeely while singing "If you are his stabby pick, knife goes in you quick quick QUICK!"

He repeatedly jabs poor Squeely until it is dead. Then Chuffy jabs him some more. He licks his bloody knife and says " Ooo good vintage hihihi!".

He then slices out some of the more delicious bits of the pig (eyes, tongue and kidneys) to save them for later and rips off the rear leg.

"The rest is for first ones who can ride Dobby the longest! Dobby being his annoying brother.

While gleefully watching hungry goblins jump on his stupid brother, Chuffy proceeds to go to the nearest fire to roast his pig's leg. If someone does not let him pass quickly enough he knocks them with the leg to get past.

Scarab Sages

If I counted correctly Reta manages to swallow 5 slugs _just_ in time. Poog has to stop after only swallowing 4..this means Mogmurch has still has a chance to win this..if he manages to swallow all 5 slugs faster then Reta. So going to wait to see if he wants to try..and if he can win this before declaring a winner, award a prize and move on to the next dare.

Sczarni

Female Goblin AC 20 (T 14, FF 17) HP 24/30 Init +3 Fort +5 Refl +4 Will +2 (+1 vs. Fear) CMB/CMD +3/16 Speed 30 ft Darkvision 60 ft
Skills:
Perception +10 Ride +9 Stealth +10
Melee mwk dogslicer +8 (1d4+1/19–20) Ranged mwk shortbow +8 (1d4/×3)

Reta Bigbad respectfully and politely asserts that she completed the appointed task with two rounds to spare, and requests a revised ruling on the merits of her claim of success. I'm paraphrasing - I believe her exact words were:

BUUUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPPP! Ooooh, still trying to escape. YUMMY SLUGS YUM YUM YUM!

Edit: Ah, I see. Even though she was successful, Mogmurch could still finish faster. Carry on.

Scarab Sages

Your right that you still have rounds to spare though, so I might have gone a bit over the top with saying _just_ in time ;) But yeah..In theory Mogmurch can eat all 5 in 5 rounds (or 6..or 7) and beat you. Let's be nice and at least have him try before we watch him puke up slugs all over the place ;)


Male Goblin Alchemist 1

Mogmurch, after watching the games and furious that Chuffy won, (he didn't want anymore head trauma for that day) he decided it was his turn to show his companions up.

"Let's get ready to RUMBLE! SLUUUUUUURP!

Eat Slug: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (11) + 5 = 16
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (6) + 5 = 11
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (20) + 5 = 25
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (6) + 5 = 11
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (15) + 5 = 20
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 = 7
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (15) + 5 = 20
Eat Slug: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (10) + 5 = 15

Did I do this right? And do I not need to use my own dice for this? And do I just edit for every role that doesn't work or is there another way?

Sczarni

Female Goblin AC 20 (T 14, FF 17) HP 24/30 Init +3 Fort +5 Refl +4 Will +2 (+1 vs. Fear) CMB/CMD +3/16 Speed 30 ft Darkvision 60 ft
Skills:
Perception +10 Ride +9 Stealth +10
Melee mwk dogslicer +8 (1d4+1/19–20) Ranged mwk shortbow +8 (1d4/×3)

Mogmurch, looks to me like you did it perfectly. When you use a "dice" tag, the roll is saved so you can Preview and edit as much as you like before you Submit Post and the roll(s) will stay the same.

I typically write my post up to the dice roll, Preview to see the result, and continue writing based on how well the roll(s) did. Like this:

Reta flirts with Zitty Zitnose and...

Charisma: 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (10) - 2 = 8 Here I hit Preview to see the result

Result is 8, indicating mild failure. Continue editing.

...Zitty blows her a kiss, then remembers that he hates her and throws her a lit firecracker. Hit "Preview" one last time to check for errors, then hit "Submit Post"

Scarab Sages

See Reta's respons ;)

Also Mogmurch you didn't let me (or anyone else) know if you wanted to eat the slugs with or without the poison bladder, so I'm going to assume you didn't want to swallow little bags of poison.. ;)

With a flurry of slug slime spewing everywhere Reta, Poog and Mogmurch start the contest.

Reta finishes her 5th slug just a few second before Mogmurch and poor, poor Poog get's pointed at, laughed at and pubicly shamed for not being able to finish his slugs in time.

Reta is let in front of Big Chief Gutwad's "throne" and recieves a really shiny dogslicer out of the hands of Slorb.

"This be mighty Gorge of Gluttons. It sticks horses real good. You win right to use it. Not to keep. Its mighty treasure of tribe. It belongs to Chief. You bring back when you find fireworks! You hear, you bring back! Not keep! Not yours!"

It's a +1 dogslicer of horse bane (so +3 against horses with an extra +2d6 damage

Scarab Sages

Poog and Morgmurch are called in front of the Chief

Slorb says:"Other goblins proofs them be heroes or tribe, now you proofs. You proofs you can be sneaky like true goblins hero should. We play Hide or Get Clubbed now!."

This is the goblin version of hide and seek. The dare-taker rushes off into the marsh without any weapons and attempts to find a good hiding
spot (make a Stealth check to determine his success at hiding). The other goblins (most of the tribe) try to find him, and if they do, the finder is allowed to whack the previously hidden goblin with a club.

It doesn't mention it in the rules, but it seems to me to be in the goblin spirit to let Chuffy and Reta join in on the search if they want and get a chance to whack someone on the head. -> For (1d3) non-lethal damage and only after the results of the dare are know off course, to keep things fair


Male Goblin Adept 1 AC 14 (T 13, FF 12) HP 3/5 Fort +0 Ref +0 Will +3 Init +6 CMB/CMD +-3/9 Speed 30 ft
Skills:
Ride +6, Spellcraft +3, Stealth +10

Poog runs into the marsh, looking for a good hideout. He finds a place where the grass is high and big rocks give him cover.

Hide: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (1) + 8 = 9

But his toad makes too much noise, every goblin can hear it.

Scarab Sages

Amount of goblins attracted by the toad's noise making: 1d10 ⇒ 3

As Poog thinks he's hidden 3 goblins show up near him

Perception Goblin 1: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (11) - 1 = 10

But before the other 2 goblins can even think about looking closer for where Poog is standing the 3th goblin yells out:

"Heres he iss!

and smacks poor Poog on the head with his club
club damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2


Male Goblin AC 19 (T 15, FF 14). HP 11/11, Fort +2, Ref +6, Will +0. Init +4, CMB/CMD -1/13, Speed 30ft.
Skills:
Acrobatics +7, Appraise +6, Climb +3, Disable Device +7, Escape Artist +7, Knowledge (local) +6, Perception +4, Sleight of Hand +7, Stealth +15

In case Mogmurch also does the hiding game

Looking for Mogmurch:
"Chuffy will find Mog! He smells like fire and Chuffy likes fire!"

Chuffy runs into the forest and sniffs around for a whiff of Mogmurch.
Perc: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (6) + 5 = 11
In case he finds him
"Chuffy finds you hahaha!"[b] And he hits Mog on the head with the half eaten leg of pork pork leg damage: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (4) - 1 = 3

In case Chuffy can play the hide game:

"Now Chuffy shows you how its done by not showing up hihihi!"

Chuffy runs into the forest with his half eaten leg of pork and tries to hide himself inside a dead and hollow old tree.

Stealth: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (18) + 16 = 34
Even while munching on his porks leg, Chuffy is hard to find.

Scarab Sages

Mogmurch can also try the hide game if he wants, after all Poog clearly didn't win the dare ;)

Chuffy can try the hide game...but only if Mogmurch also get's found and they need someone to show the other goblins how it's done.

So going to wait to see if Mogmurch wants to try and see how he does before continuing


Male Goblin Alchemist 1

"Mogmurch very sneaky. Won't get caught like stupid Poog."

Mogmurch runs into marsh and a wonderful idea comes to him. He could lie down in the water and no goblin could ever find him!

Hiding: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (16) + 12 = 28

"Mogmurch is finally going to win now. Hehehe..."

Sorry about not saying anything about the slugs.

Scarab Sages

Not a problem, would just have been handy to know. don't worry...have fun ;)This is meant to be a silly game (at least we be goblins is - not pathfinder ;) If one of you forgets something it just means I have to either ask for something or assume something. If I forget something, let me know.

Mogmurch runs of to hide and none of the goblins in the tribe - including Chuffy - are able to find the sneaky, sneaky goblin.

(While mogmurch is still hiding Chuffy also hides, but nobody is bothering with searching for either Chuffy or Mogmurch anymore..all the other goblins get bored and return to the village to continue with party..and drinking, and eating fresh roasted pig)

When Mogmurch get's tired of the game he wanders back into the village. The drunk partying goblins seem surprised when he returns..then remember he was hiding for a dare. He is led in front of the Chieftan where he get's out of the hands of Slorb a ring.

"This be mystical Ring That Lets You Climb Real Good (a ring of climbing). this is not for you to keep! This is borrowed! You will gives it back! .You can use it nows , but then we wants it back! You takes goods care of ring!"

Scarab Sages

Slorb says: "Now we does final Dare!" Any of heroes stupi..brave enough to try *pause for dramatic effect* Dare of The Rusty Earbiter:!!!!"

All the other goblins gasp, then start to cheer and hoot.

The infamous Rusty Earbiter is a hollow coil of rusty wires, barrel hoops, bent swords,and thorny branches and vines that's kept behind the
Moot House when not in use. So named for the fact that it's claimed a number of goblin ears in the past (at any one time, 1d3 ⇒ 2 partially severed goblin ears can be found tangled in its sharp internal coils), the Rusty Earbiter is both an object of fascination and fear for the Licktoads.
The half-insane tinkerer who invented the thing has long since died (carried off one night by a giant bird of some sort after his first and only test of a prototype bird-attracting hat), but his legacy lives on.

A half-dozen eager goblins roll the 20-foot coil out from behind the Moot House with the typical number of slashed fingers and stabbed legs such a task normally brings.

A PC who agrees to this dare must climb into one end of the Rusty Earbiter and then wriggle through it, coming out the other side. There’s no time limit to get this done, but the faster the better! Climbing through the Rusty Earbiter requires a series of three DC 15 Escape Artist checks as the goblin must writhe through a series of tight squeezes. Each Escape Artist check takes 1 full round to attempt, and each one must be repeated until a successful check is made before moving on to the next one (or, in the case of the last check, successfully crawling out the far end of the tube). If the PC fails more than three checks, the other goblins get bored, throw a few small rocks, and wander off; after that point it doesn’t matter if the goblin gets out or not, although if she gets stuck for a few days, someone might help. But probably not. (each failed attempt _will_ hurt)

Slorb looks at Poog;"Are you'se braves enough to do Dare? Or do other heroes need to show you how to be goblin hero?"

Poog can have first try, after he fails (or declines)..other's can try


Male Goblin Adept 1 AC 14 (T 13, FF 12) HP 3/5 Fort +0 Ref +0 Will +3 Init +6 CMB/CMD +-3/9 Speed 30 ft
Skills:
Ride +6, Spellcraft +3, Stealth +10

"Me is brave enough to take the dare." Poog says with a shivery voice. He walks over to Chuffy, takes the pig leg and rubs his head with the pig fat to be more slippery and steps into the coil.

Wiggle: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (11) + 2 = 13
Wiggle: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (14) + 2 = 16
Wiggle: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22
Wiggle: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 2 = 9
Wiggle: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (16) + 2 = 18

After a bad start he managed to get through the coil quite good, but then he found two parts of goblin ears and had to get past them without touching them. The last part of the coil was not a problem for him.

1 to 50 of 476 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>
Community / Forums / Online Campaigns / Play-by-Post / PFS PBP We Be Goblins All Messageboards

Want to post a reply? Sign in.