Dot on the ready.
DOT
*stabbity*
You are goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump
Marsh, south of the hated man-town called Sandpoint. Once, other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn’t bring enough fie, and got themselves killed as a result. Yesterday, your tribe discovered that one of your own had been using forbidden arts and was engaged in one of the greatest of taboos—writing things down. In fact, rumor holds that what he was writing was a history of your tribe! There’s no swiftr way to bring about bad luck than stealing words out of your mind by writing them down, and so your tribe had no choice. You branded the goblin’s face with letters to punish him, which is why everyone calls him Scribbleface now, and then you ran him out of town, took all of his stuff and burned down his hut.
That’s where things got interesting, because before you all burned down his hut, Chief Gutwad found a weird box within the building. Inside was a map and a lot of fieworks—fieworks that immediately came to use in burning the hut down. Then, this morning, Gutwad announced that tonight there would be a feast in order to drive out any lingering bad luck from
Scribbleface’s poor decisions. But perhaps even more exciting, all of you have been secretly invited to meet at Chief Gutwad’s Moot House. Why would the chief want to speak to you? It can only mean that he’s got an important mission for you all... one that the other goblins of the tribe couldn’t pull off This could be your chance to go down in
Licktoad history!
Lying at the center of the village, the chief’s Moot House is a veritable museum of Licktoad heroics crammed with trophies such as stolen weapons, shiny bits of treasure, and the brine-pickled bodies of dozens of brutally slaughtered small furry animals (mostly dogs).
The goblin, sporting a most inappropriate veil from who knows where, stomps back and forth as she awaits the invitation. Stomp? Yes, it is clearly superior to pacing. She eyes the others hanging about her.
"Me Reta! Me bad! Big Bad!" She lifts her dog-slicer, causing her quiver to shake, and wiggling the many dog ears adorning it. "Me kill dogs. Dogs!" In her excitement to declare her deeds, a toad shakes loose from her pocket, and hops about madly awhile before she picks it up and stuffs it roughly back into a different pocket. Satisfied with her introduction, she resumes her stomping about while waiting for the inferior boasting from the others.
Poog arrives with his pet toad, Dogfinder, on top of his head. You see him stuff his old, squashed pet toad in one of his pockets as he approaches.
"Poog set things fire!" he announces, and a flame dances in his palm. "Burn stuff much! Poogwahaha!"
Chuffy creeps through the shadows, silent as his pet spider, Stankrush. He lurks for a while and then slips up behind some unsuspecting Licktoads and leaps out, roaring with meanness. "HA-HA! Chuffy sneakiest of ALL Licktoads! Chuffy grab it quick, quick, quick! Then knife go in you stick, stick, stick!"
His display of prowess done, Chuffy leans back into the shadows again and watches the others, nodding in agreement about killing dogs and burning things with fire. He alternates picking at his teeth with a metal skewer and picking at his scabby, boil and pustule covered face.
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Mogmurch is waiting to see the chief with his “best clothes”; his jester’s hat and skull mask worn, he has clean his armor and belt in the least muddy puddle he wasa able to find and he has even let Rempty to lick his face twice, in order to be as clean as possible.
But his formulae book is at home, he´s not going to risk that any of the less smart goblins mistakes his wonderful pictures with some kind of awful words.
Mogmurch here to see the chief. Mogmurch is important. Says as he trys to appear taller than he is. Magmurch knows how to burn things.Well, things explode into pieces… But then al of them burn¡¡¡
He smileys overconfidently of his own abilities. Mogmurch doesn´t know why the chief has called us, but Mogmurch is the smartest goblin of the Licktoads. Mogmurch is going to impress the chief.
As you all have gathered, advisor Slorb comes out of the Moot House.
A pompuous, overly dressed goblin, he aids Great Chief Gutwad in many goblin-y matters.
"Ah, the summoned Licktoads, come, much things to discuss."
The moment you get in, you notice the 6ft high "throne", called the Teeter Chair. He looks down at you. Slorb gestures you to sit down in the dirt in front of him...... Now normally Slorb speaks, since all licktoads know the chief's voice is too dreadful to the goblin mind to hear. Yet he does so now in a booming voice:
“You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you aren’t fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a dangerous mission. “You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface’s hut. Fireworks were fun. But map is more fun. It shows
a route to a place near the coast where Scribbleface found fireworks.
And it says there are more fireworks there! “I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks. If you meet men, you make them dead. If you meet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!” He leaves little space for questions, as Slorb practically shoves you out after your mission has been told.
Brinestump Marsh
The marsh is a place of great bounty, with lots of places to hide and lots of delicious things to eat. Some of those things are kind of poisonous, though, so take care. One of the best things about the
marsh is that the humans don’t normally come into it. They’re afraid of the monsters. Which are a concern, but if you know about them before they find out about you, running is always an option. Among the dangers that you can expect to face in the portion of Brinestump Marsh that you’ll be heading through are wild dogs, giant bugs, giant snakes, and giant frogs. Oh, and Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many. And maybe Vorka.
There are plenty of giant bugs in the swamp, but of late, the giant spider known as Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many (known more often simply as “Lotslegs,”) is the most notorious. The giant spider lives somewhere in the marsh between the Licktoad village and the coast, and the route that Scribbleface’s map shows leads right through the giant spider’s territory.
The map is relatively simple, showing little more than the Licktoad
village, the old shipwreck on the coast that supposedly contains the
fireworks, and the creek that runs between the two locations. By
following the creek, you should be able to easily reach the old wreck. Unfortunately, the old wreck is also located in the part of the swamp that all of you know to be the territory of Vorka the cannibal.
One of the greatest terrors of the swamp, at least to the Licktoads, is old Vorka, a ravenous cannibal goblin who, legend tells, was once the wife of a Licktoad chieftain. She murdered and ate that chieftain, as well as several other goblins, before she was driven out of town many years ago. Since then, the story says that she’s lived alone somewhere along the coast to the west of Licktoad village, and while she’s never
returned, most goblins who go missing in that part of the swamp are assumed to have been eaten by the cannibal.
Reta nods to herself. "Big chief want fireworks. Me get fireworks. Me be bigger hero. Bigger than Slorb." The big bad fighty goblin looks around. Realizing others may have overheard that, she quickly adds. "May be."
Chuffy thumps his chest, "We bring Fireworks back for Chief and all Licktoads will make man-town BURN!"
Chuffy knows things about the Brinestump Marsh, but look on scabby face say he not worried. That old goblin hag, Vorka, would probably no want to eat Chuffy's face... and if she did, he only needed to be faster than these other Licktoads to get away. That part easy, probably.
He let Stankrush out of her cage and she tickled with her furry legs as she crawled around on him. Now Lotsalegs was sneaky too and he watched the little spider while he thought about how to watch out for the big one.
Poog doesn't seem the least bit worried. "Poog just burn all!"
"Poog great cleric of Zarongel, burning dog-stabber god with fire and stabbies!"
Mogmurch goes out of the hut saying no word, with eyes eyes lighting.
Fireworks. Lots and Lots of fireworks. LOTS of fireworks.
Mogmurch will make Sandpoint explode. And burn, and explode again. And, and, and... LOTS of Fireworks. He´s almost unable to think in anything that not include blow away things.
Goblins toil all aftrnoon to build the bonfire out of branches, sticks, and unburnt timbers taken from the ruins of Scribbleface’s hut. As night falls, a group of four certain struggling goblins carry the Teeter Chair (with Chief Gutwad sitting atop it) out to the bonfie, and the chief lights the fire with a Desnan candle. This signals the start of an all-night party that features lots of good things to eat (snails, fish, and snakes) and gives you a chance to enjoy being goblins, mingling with your fellow troublemakers as the evening continues with feasting and dares. The chief brings out a barrel of fermenting cider apples early on and most goblins get drunk very quickly; those of you indulging in the apples must make a DC 8 Fortitude save to avoid becoming sickened for 24 hours.
Word spreads among the other goblins that you are headed out on a great important mission. This is turn causes the other goblins to dare you to show off your goblin-heroics in 4 dares. You can choose to participate or to abstain. With the prizes for each dare coming from the Great Chief himself, it might be worth doing.
Squealy Nord is said to be "a fearsome boar" who lives in a muddy pit in the middle of the village, right next to the goblin baby
cages. “Dancing with Squealy Nord” requires you to spend 18 seconds (3 rounds) riding on his back. A DC 15 Ride check
is required each round to stay on Nord’s back as he races about. With a failed check, you are thrown off and it ends for you.
Bull slugs are black, wriggling slugs the size of sausages. Even among the goblins, they’re considered particularly foul-tasting and, because of the large amounts of slime they exude, difficult to chew. A covered wicker basket containing the slug bag is brought before the one who accepts this dare, along with a napkin made out of a soggy leaf.
You have 1 minute to eat an entire bag of bullslugs to win this dare. Eating the slugs is not a problem, even though they wriggle, taste of
rotten fish, and burst with a little squeal when chewed. Eating a full bag in a minute is the hard part. There are five slugs in the bag, and successfully eating one requires a DC 15 Fortitude save (this drops to a DC 10 Fortitude save if the goblin doesn’t bother to spit out the slug’s mildly poisonous slime bladder—but neglecting to take care not
to eat the slime bladder could have repercussions). Eating a slug is a full-round action (because of the squirming), and any who fails a save can attempt to swallow the same slug on the following round.
This is the goblin version of hide and seek. The dare-taker rushes of into the marsh without any weapons and attempts to find a good hiding
spot. (You hide by making a stealth check)
The other goblins try to find you, and if they do, the finder is allowed to whack you with a club.
The infamous Rusty Earbiter is a hollow coil of rusty wires, barrel hoops, bent swords, and thorny branches and vines that's kept behind the
Moot House when not in use. So named for the fact that it's claimed a number of goblin ears in the past, the Rusty Earbiter is both an object of fascination and fear for the tribe. The half-insane tinkerer who invented the thing has long since died (carried of one night by a giant bird of some sort after his first and only test of a prototype bird-attracting hat), but his legacy lives on.
Any who agrees to this dare must climb into one end of the Rusty Earbiter and then wriggle through it, coming out the other side. There’s no time limit to get this done, but the faster the better! Climbing through the Rusty Earbiter requires a series of three DC 15 Escape Artist checks as you must writhe through a series of tight
squeezes. Each Escape Artist check takes 1 full round to attempt, and each one must be repeated until a successful check is made before moving on to the next one (or, in the case of the last check, successfully crawling out the far end of the tube). BUt, if you get stuck for a few days, someone might help. But probably not. If you smear your head with pig fat, mud, or some other slippery substance, you
gain a +2 bonus on all Escape Artist checks to navigate the Rusty Earbiter.
Chuffy went straight for the cider apples with gusto and gobbled them down with both hands until he felt floaty and flippy and extra brave.
One of those spooky gobbies that jumped and squealed when he leaped out at her screwed up her face and her courage to taunt him. "Yoo sneaky only cuz yoo always hide ugly face! If yoo really the best, play hide and get clubbed! If Chuffy get hit, can only make him prettier!" She sneered at Chuffy.
Chuff puffed up like a bullfrog and drew his dog-slicer, mad at being called ugly. He decided to turn it around on her and tossed the blade down, pointing a filthy claw at the taunter. "If want to chase Chuffy, only need ask!" He howls before pushing her head first into the vinegary smelling cider apple barrel. He then trots off to hide, chuckling while he sing his song.
"Chuffy is the very best, sneakier than all the rest!
Can you catch him? No, no, no!
Where that Chuffy? Where he go?"
He quiets down and takes up his hiding place and waits.
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Not to be outdone, Reta hops most unceremoniously onto the Squealy Nord! As the Nord grunts and prances about, BigBad Reta sings most out of tune and out of time with the grunting.
Me be master! You be ride!
Me be leading! You be follow!
Me be riding, 'til you be tired!
Me leave dancing, you be...uhh...uhh...
Unable to complete the non-rhyming tune, Reta screeches to end the song and hops off the infamous Squealy Nord, leaving it gasping for breath as she skips on to the next challenge.
Reta surely remains within the "saddle", on top of the not-so-boarish pig Squealy Nord. Some cheering can be heard from the goblins outside of the arena.
But there's competition who can try too. ;)
Seeing Chuffy disappear, Reta calls out a challenge and skitters off to hide herself.
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This prizes help Mogmurch to obtain fireworks. And if I impress all the goblins, the chief surely will let me burn many of the new fireworks. Unwilling to let the other goblins obtain his prizes, Mogmurch ruses to participate in, and win, every single dare
Dancing with Nord
Trying to compete with Reta´s skill, Mogmurch jumps over Nord and start singing
Mogmurch dance, Mogmurch ride, Mogmurch make Nord to stoooooo.... plaff His voice fades as he flys by the air until he lands in the mud. Lots of goblins laught and cheers of his bad skills, and some of them even start to throw him mudballs. Mogmurch, almost blinded due to the mud in his eyes, start throwing his own mudballs everywhere, trying to hit at least one of the offenders.
Plan - first 3 rounds, eat them normally:
Rocking! 2 down. Next 3 rounds, continue to eat them normally.
Ooh, slowing down a little. 3 down, 2 to go. Next 2 rounds, normal.
Oh no! Will Reta pull through?! Next round, Reta stays normal. But, she is getting desperate...
Whew! That slug finally went down. Last one. Deep breath (normal). 2 rounds normal.
Full of energy and confidence out of the first two dares, Reta heads over to the infamous Rusty Earbiter. She lathers herself generously with pig fat and mud, jumps into the hollow coil...and gets stuck!
With loud grunts and louder curses, Reta spends a good half a minute wiggly when suddenly everyone nearby hears a faint "POP", and Reta is almost through the coils! The far end of the coil snags at her, but with a most unsightly wiggle, she shakes the barb loose and makes it out in easily under one minute!
Stomping her way toward the last dare, Reta sings, almost screams, her angry eating song.
Reta BIG and Reta BAD!
Reta BITE when Reta MAD!
Once there, Reta snatches up the bag and grabs the first slug, who fights valiantly but futilely as it ends up in Reta's maw and stomach. It is followed in quick order by a second, and then a third. However, the speed takes its toll on Reta, and she nearly gags on the fourth one. It took nearly half the allotted time to get the distasteful slug down.
As the clock winds down on her, Reta takes a deep breath to prepare herself for the last slug. The crowd shouts and jeers The BigBad on, and she sends the last tasty morsel to its acidic doom just as the minute expires!
Dance with Squealy Nord
Chuffy => --
Mogmurch => Failed.
Poog => --
Reta => Passed.
Eat a Bag of Bull Slugs Real Quick
Chuffy => --
Mogmurch => --
Poog => --
Reta => Passed
Hide or Get Clubbed
Chuffy => Passed #1
Mogmurch => --
Poog => --
Reta => Passed #2
The Rusty Earbiter
Chuffy => --
Mogmurch => --
Poog => --
Reta => Passed
*gag*
*slurp*
*gulp*
*slurp*
*gag*
*urp*
*slurp*
*urp*
*slurp*
Chuffy finally gets tired of waiting for someone to even come close to finding his hiding place and comes out of hiding. He arrives just in time to see Reta struggling in the Earbiter contraption. He stands by and watches, heckling her. "Ah ha ha! You getting stuck cuz head too big! You ripping pretty veil!"
But he had to admit Reta did well under pressure when she pulled it out in the end. Still he had to show her up, because he was the slippery one here. He applies some grease to his tender ears, really just as precaution... his ears were his best feature, after all. And he springs into the rusty coils, squeezing and twisting just right through the first two obstacles. The third one trips him up just a smidge, but his second try is more than sufficient and he leaps about, crowing his victory.
"Chuffy slick as sluggy slime, bets you no can beat his time!"
But everyone still talking about Reta's dance with Squealy Nord, so he gets ready to take on his next dare. It's hard to get a good hold on the wriggly pig, but he manages to hold on, finishing quite well really.
Finally, Chuffy decides to eat the slugs too. He really did not like the taste of bull slugs, so he thought this would be toughest for him. First slug so nasty, he almost spit it out, but others watching so he resists the urge and keeps chewing. Ugh! It hard to bite slime bladder out. He thinks as his second attempt to swallow fails and he claps his hands over his mouth as his gorge rises. Finally, he spits out the slime bladder and swallows his first slug.
On the second one, he decides not to chew at all and just swallows the nasty thing whole, but that leave his tummy feeling worse somehow and so he takes a deep breath and carefully chews his third, spitting that bladder out. Fourth one tastes like it been eating mildew and it takes three tries to bite loose the slime bladder and then he nearly busts it as he spits it out. He knows his time is growing short as he pops the 5th one in his mouth, but he is determined now and at the last second he swallows number five.
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Mogmurch, trying to get advantage of being already covered in mud, and several other things throwed by the rest of the goblins, go directly to the Earbitter. He climbs up between the cheers of the Licktoad tribe:
Common Mogmurch, you don´t need both ears!!!
If you bleed a little you´ll pass quickier, really
This is´n´t going well. At all Thinks Mogmurch as he hides in a bush, with only one feet visibly.
Befote going to eat the slugs, Mogmurch decide to cheat a little. He tries to gou out of the view of the other goblins and drink his mutagen, increasing his resilience.
First five slugs trying to spite the slime bladder:
Felling lucky, Mogmurch continue spitting the slime bladder of the slugs.
Hide or be Clubbed:
You get discovered by the second goblin already, and get a whack over the head for 1 dmg. (Dmg can't be lower than 1 after all.[/ooc]
The slugs: You manage, but not as great as your fellow competitors. :)
Poog gets on Squealy Nord and remains in the saddle...for 1 round and gets flung off the 2nd for nl- and a lot of mocking.
He does however, gobble down the slimy slugs quite fast. A secret treat for him maybe?
Like his fellow goblins, he hid too well to get found.
His progress through the Earbiter was okay, he managed to get out fairly quickly, only taking 3 dmg.
1
-
-
2
3
4
-
5
Too much
After the dares have been completed, the scoreboard is revealed.
The winner of the "Rodeo" is Reta!!, with the overall best performance.
The winner at the slug eating is Poog!!, for eating the fastest.
Te winner in the find or get clubbed is Chuffy!!, with an incredible hiding skill.
The winner of the Earbiter is also Chuffy!!
The Great Chief gives the prizes according to the dares.
Reta gets Dragon Brew Gourd” (an elixir of fire breath)
Poog gets the mighty Gorge of Gluttons—a +1 dogslicer that functions
as a bane weapon when utilized against horses (improving to a +3 dogslicer that inflicts an additional 2d6 points of damage on a successful hit) However, this MUST BE RETURNED AFTER MISSION! "Or heads roll, YOUR heads."
Chuffy gets Ring That Lets You Climb Real Good (a ring of climbing); like Gorge of Gluttons, this magic ring is on loan from the chieftain’s treasury.
Chuffy also gets the Chief ’s Personal Very Useful Robe That Is Useful. This is a robe of useful items that has only four patches left—a ladder, a three-legged turtle, a horseshoe, and a bullhorn.
The following Morning you are brought before The Great Chief again.
"Today you go bring me fireworks, you not fail! Or me put BIG BAD MOJO on you!"
To help you in your quest, he hands you Scribbleface's remaining fireworks; two Desnan candles, four paper candles, and a skyrocket.
"Poog slugs eating like no big deal!" Poog boasts, puffing out his chest.
"Dogslicer good! Poog honor Zarongel slicing dogs and horses!"
Poog spends the remainder of the night chasing flies, setting them on fire to create what he calls "pretty fireflies."
"You can take fireworks," he tells the other goblins, "because Poog make fire aaallllll by himself!"
Reta eyes the dog-slicer jealously, and decides to follow up the slugs with more food and drinks, and much stomping offbeat while singing offkey, before calling it a night and snoring the darkness away.
The following morning, you take of on your quest.
Halfway through your travels, you come at a, sort of, clearing near a creek.
Suddenly, a sheet of sticky threads engulf Chuffy.
Roll initiative guys.
"Quick fooling around, Chuff...Chuffy is in trouble!"
"Chuffy, Poog make flame to burn webs?" Poog offers.
"Poog try not burn you then."
Round 1
Poog's turn!
Lotslegs
Chuffy
Reta
Mogmurch
Poog draws the borrowed dogslicer, and waves it in the air. "Mighty summon Zarongel fire bolt flames!"
A bolt of fire appears in Poog's free hand, and he throws it at Lotslegs.
Round 1
Poog throws a fire bolt, but it goes up into the sky.
Lotslegs climbs down and spits a net of webbing on Poog as retaliation.
Chuffy's turn
Reta
Mogmurch
Chuffy puffed up again at receiving TWO special doo-dads from Chief, but he too eyed the dog-slicer with envy. What holy-fire priest need with nice blade, hmmph? Stupid nasty bull slugs!
But the next morning he was ready to go on their grand quest. He tried to remember to keep look-out for big spider, his dart at the ready but Lotslegs was super-sneaky too! His eyes got big as he realized his danger and quickly twisted and thrashed to free himself from the web.
Only just succeeding, he turns to see Poog stuck in the web now.
"Reta feed Lotsalegs arrow!" The fierce goblin mutters as she pulls her bow and flings an arrow at the spider.
Chuffy wiggles his goblin frame out of the sticky webbing, only to see his friend covered as well.
Reta fires off an arrow, which hits the tree behind the giant spider. A warning chitter follows.
Mogmurch's turn.
Mogmurch successfully hits the spider.
Round 2
Poog's turn
Lotslegs (-7)
Chuffy
Reta
Mogmurch
Poog tries to break free of the web that covers him.
"Poog make Lotslegs fire burn!"
Sadly, Poog fails to break th sticky webbing.
Round 2
Poog (Tangled)
Lotslegs (-7) moves a bit, then keeps a weird angle.
Chuffy's turn
Reta
Mogmurch
Chuff uses his movement from round 1 to move behind the webbed Poog, just in case spider coming their way and then grabs onto a branch or root with one hand while he grabs Poog's hands in the other to help him pull free. "C'mon faddah, pull! Lotslegs look hungry!"
Reta & Mogmurch, have at it!