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On Stranger Tides: a Goblin Tale (Inactive)

Game Master James Martin

A tale of goblins and piracy and the havoc that the two can wreak...


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Male Goblin Barbarian (Invulnerable Rager) 7

Crang pauses for a second as the fog engulf him: then he heads toward the place where the shiny man was fondling a blind, lecherous dwarf.

If he gets next to them...
attack 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (10) + 8 = 18
damage 1d10 + 9 ⇒ (10) + 9 = 19


Bursting forth from the fog, Crang sees the burdened Shiny Mail Man and the over the shoulder lecherous dwarf. He swings his axe and is rewarded by a solid hit on the man's legs. The man doesn't go down, but he does swear in a most unholy manner. The dwarf calls out in a loud voice, "Colsarnit! They're hacking up Galahad! Somebody get me out of here, durnit!"


male Goblin Rogue

ack, spots of fire in me orbs, Garl, me faithful sqeeker; yeas gotta lead

Whosi pulls out his pet rat Garl and hold him in front of him with his off hand to be his eyes, holding his smasher ready. Feeling the cold mist, as if from the ocean, Whoosi is confused, so he tries to remember the setup of the place and move to hide under a table or something hoping his eyes will clear. He sniffs and listens for clues.


Spots launches himself at the Shiny Mail Man as he hefts the stout dwarf.
Bite: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (14) + 8 = 22, claw 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (3) + 8 = 11 and claw 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (3) + 8 = 11. The bite hits and deals 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2 damage as Spots tries to pull the Mail Man from his feet! 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 12 His trip attempt fails, though. Meanwhile Splurg finishes his spell, causing a goblin dog to appear next to the elf woman! Bite 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 17 for 1d6 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4 damage! The elf woman screams as the rat-dog tears into her leg, seriously cramping her style.

Whosi's pet rat is grasped and used as a very frightened guide-rat, as Whosi attempts to find shelter from the battle. Ank-hore's glowing sickle pursues the halfling, cutting deeply into his back as he tries to flee. Ank-hore's physical attack is less effective, as the halfling dodges to the side to avoid the attack.

ROUND 6:
Init:
Scions 18
Splurg 17
Ank-Hore 10
Crang 8
Whosi 5

The Shiny Mail Man, his body cut with multiple wounds, his wounded and blinded comrade upon his shoulder, is not having a good day. He calls upon Aroden once more for healing, 1d6 ⇒ 3, then withdraws from the battle, disappearing into the fog cloud.

The elf woman screams a warcry and casts a spell in the fog, causing the goblin dog to yelp with pain. Burning hands for 3d4 ⇒ (2, 2, 4) = 8 damage.

The halfling, all pretense of heroism abandoned, simply runs, disappearing into the fog. Attack of Opportunity for Ank-hore!

For once in his life, the dwarf sees the value of shutting up and keeps his mouth closed as the Shiny Mail Man attempts to save his miserable life.

Goblins, go!


M Goblin Druid 7

Splurg "Sorry Spots me call rat doggy to help you, I know you not like smell."

Spots continues his mauling of the Shiny Mail Man
1d20 + 8 ⇒ (14) + 8 = 22 bite
1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4
1d20 + 8 ⇒ (7) + 8 = 15 trip attack if hits
1d20 + 8 ⇒ (5) + 8 = 13claw
1d2 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3
1d20 + 8 ⇒ (1) + 8 = 9claw
1d2 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

Doggie attacks the elf women or is that man... Splurg no tell the difference
1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 20 bite I have a +4 str to summoned creatures not sure if that's added in or not if not up the attack by 2!
1d6 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7

Splurg attempts to help by finding someone to attack
1d20 + 7 ⇒ (19) + 7 = 26 percp to orient inside the cloud for next round


M Goblin Druid 7

Thank you for DM pcing! I'm back in town now.


Spots will have to pursue the shiny man, so he'll only be able to bite. I'll keep that roll and disregard the claws. I'll post a resolution post after Crang and Ank-hore and Whosi post.


Male Goblin Cleric Level 7

Ank-hore smiles as the weapon of his goddess strikes the furred foot beast Ank-hore hopes now that the halfling let down his guard he can be easily struck dead so it may be dinner. he strikes thinking of roasted Halfling meat.

AoO Sickle Attack 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (14) + 2 = 16

AoO Sickle Damage 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2


Male Goblin Barbarian (Invulnerable Rager) 7

Crang blows a raspberry at the Shiny Man and then chases after him, axe raised.

Don't know if you want any rolls, or if Crang can attack.


Crang and Spots dash into the fog to find the Shiny Mail Man, only to discover he's not anywhere to be seen...

Perception checks, please.

The goblin dog lets out a snarl from the fog cloud, followed by a cry of pain from the elf woman.

Ank-hore's sickle finds purchase in the halfling's back, ripping out a large chunk of the furry footed's back.

From somewhere in the fog, you hear voices. "Use the accursed horn!"

"What?!? You know what that will do!"

"I'm bleeding to death, Yserbialla, use the horn!"


M Goblin Druid 7

1d20 + 7 ⇒ (18) + 7 = 25percp <--with scent


Male Goblin Barbarian (Invulnerable Rager) 7

perception: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (18) + 6 = 24


Spots and Crang move into the fog, toward where they suspect the Shiny Mail Man should be. However, he's not there. After a few moments, they hear the voices and the tell-tale clinking of metal armor. They can tell that the Shiny Mail Man turned about 45 degrees after entering the fog and is around 10 feet away.

You both still have a move action, if you'd like to take it.


Male Goblin Barbarian (Invulnerable Rager) 7

Stoopid Cloud!

Crang trudges in the same direction he was heading, hoping to avoid the cloud and kill the elfy, just to iritate the dwarf.


M Goblin Druid 7

Spots being more one minded will continue to follow the walking tinman.


Male Goblin Cleric Level 7

Ank-hore will finish off the halfing if the strike got him down then follow Crang and Splurg into the cloud.

Perception 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12


As Whosi attempts to hide, Crang and Spots both abruptly emerge from the fog cloud. Crang sees the elven woman, her white robe torn and dirtied from the vicious attacks of the goblin dog in front of her, about 30 feet off. A moment later the Shiny Mail Man emerges, still carrying the dwarf over his shoulder. The Shiny Mail man coughs and calls out "Do it! Sound the horn!" Spots erupts from the fog behind him and is feet away from attack.

ROUND 7:
Init:
Scions 18
Splurg 17
Ank-Hore 10
Crang 8
Whosi 5

The elf woman pulls a long slender horn, more of a size for a flute, really, from her pouch. Crang can see it spirals, like a unicorn horn. She raises it to her mouth and blows a single clear pure note on it. The note seems to hang in the air, and the Shiny Mail Man, the lecher dwarf, the bloodied elf and the halfling (who is in front of Ank-hore, bleeding and staggering), all begin to glow with an ivory light. The light expands to encompass them, and then suddenly shoots heavenward, leaving a clatter of metal and fabric as all of the clothes, armor and gear the quarter were carrying falls to the ground, all save the horn itself. Whereever the goody-two-shoes are, they are clearly naked.

End of combat. Good job, all! Feel free to loot at leisure.

With the fog cloud dissipating, the scene is revealed: the town of Tashket is on fire, as people run for the hills. The grand theater behind you is smoking vigorously as the stone discolors from the soot. With the heroes gone, the spirit seems to go out of the resistance. Goblins run to and fro, carrying loot, food and in one case, wearing a fresh dog's head as a helmet...


Male Goblin Barbarian (Invulnerable Rager) 7

They're not getting away that easily!

Crang examines the horn...


Male Goblin Cleric Level 7

Ank-hore kills the halfing then loots the body of the halfling and eats his eyes for good measure.


male Goblin Rogue

Whossi attempts to get out of the fog and clear his vision staying low and stealthy as possible

<whispers> doing good so far Garl

Whoosi blinks his eyes and tries to see, if he can; will move to capture the elf girl if the halfling isn't available for some payback.

can I see yet? do I see the elf maiden naked and dissappear?

Perception
1d20 + 9 ⇒ (4) + 9 = 13
Stealth
1d20 + 19 ⇒ (6) + 19 = 25


Crang, all their gear EXCEPT the horn is here. Wherever they are, they are naked and holding that horn.


Male Goblin Barbarian (Invulnerable Rager) 7

Oops

Crang stops raging and sits down next to the pile of shiny stuff, looking out hopefully for axes.


No axes, but here's the list of loot. Magical registering items are marked with an *.

Loot!:

Medium Shiny Field Plate*
Medium Mithral Shirt*
Small Mithral Shirt*
Medium Shiny Longsword*
Medium Light Crossbow*
Small Longsword*
Small Light Crossbow*
Bracers of Armor*
Staff*
Wand, Carved Ivory*
Rod* (covered in several small buttons)
Headband*
Small Cloak* (all shimmery)
Pouches containing 192 platinum, 430 gold and 3 large sapphires
21 days worth of rations
150 feet of silk rope
3 backpacks
1 book of erotic poetry with very graphic illustrations
A severed finger, slightly shriveled
Large metal shield
A small doll in the shape of a beardless dwarf with pins stuck in its genital region
A small clay pot with a cork in it*
Several letters, half written to 'My Pointy Eared Love Goddess'
3 potions, unmarked*
A wooden holy symbol of Aroden
Underclothes, in various degrees of clean...


M Goblin Druid 7

incoming spellcraft checks to determine what stuff is!!
Splurg sits down with a pile of softly glowing items to determine what it is
Spots spots the small doll and quickly claims it as his own

Spoiler:

Medium Shiny Field Plate* 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (7) + 6 = 13

Medium Mithral Shirt* 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (5) + 6 = 11

Small Mithral Shirt* 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (15) + 6 = 21
Medium Shiny Longsword* 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (4) + 6 = 10

Medium Light Crossbow* 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (20) + 6 = 26

Small Longsword* 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (4) + 6 = 10

Small Light Crossbow* 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (1) + 6 = 7

Bracers of Armor* 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (6) + 6 = 12

Staff* 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (19) + 6 = 25

Wand, Carved Ivory* 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (12) + 6 = 18

Rod* (covered in several small buttons) 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (19) + 6 = 25

Headband* 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (18) + 6 = 24

Small Cloak* (all shimmery) 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (14) + 6 = 20

A small clay pot with a cork in it* 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (9) + 6 = 15

3 potions, unmarked* 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (3) + 6 = 91d20 + 6 ⇒ (9) + 6 = 15
1d20 + 6 ⇒ (18) + 6 = 24


Results of Spellcraftin':

Small Mithral Shirt* = +2 mithral shirt
Medium Light Crossbow* +1 Huntsman Light Crossbow
Staff* = Staff of Souls (8 charges)
Wand, Carved Ivory* = Wand of Cure Light Wounds (15 charges)
Rod* (covered in several small buttons) = Rod of Wonder
Headband* = Headband of Alluring Charisma +2
Small Cloak* (all shimmery) = Small Cloak of Elvenkind
A small clay pot with a cork in it*
3 potions, unmarked* = 1 potion of CMW, 1 potion of bless weapon and one unknown.

The small clay pot seems to be filled with some sort of beef stew. However, everytime you open it, it's always full...


M Goblin Druid 7

Splurg walks over and examines the finger, then gives Crang the finger... how often can you say that in any walk of life!!


M Goblin Druid 7

Splurg tells the others about some of his find scooping the remaining items into a backpack to be reviewed later. put up the magical items he couldn't figure out today, will check again next level

"Ankhore, I find's nice shirt and hat for you make you tough and pretty. I also got stick for you make you powerful against dead" Mithril Shirt +2 and headband of alluring charisma +2 and Staff of Souls

"Whoosi you like tricksy cloak, make you like pretty elven lady and this stick flinger" Cloak of Elvenkind and +1 huntsman Light Crossbow

"Oooo I got pot of smell goodz food for you Crang and potions make you strong" Splurg marks the potion containers for Crang 1 potion of Cure Moderate Wounds and 1 Bless potion, along with unlimited beef stew pot

Splurg pockets the wand, and looks at the rod in bewilderment before putting it in his pack...


Male Goblin Barbarian (Invulnerable Rager) 7

Crang uses the finger to scoop stew out of the pot, and then starts eating the finger once it is good and soaked.

Then he finds some charcoal from the chalk and starts covering the writing in the wordy book. He is careful to leave the pictures undamaged. So careful that you can see him sticking his tongue out.


While Crang covers up the filthy words in the dirty book, a goblin runner races toward Splurg. "Cap'n! Cap'n! Big flying thing over ship! Big flying thing over ship! Come'see!"


Male Goblin Cleric Level 7

Ank-hore smiles at Splurg thnks, what youz gonna takes. Ank-hore looks at the stew and reaches in for a handful.


M Goblin Druid 7

"I takes this stick, and metal thingie, makes spells. I also takes remaining magik's until I figure out's what they are." "Flying thingie youz say? To da SHIP!"


As the goblins run toward the harbor, they're stunned at what they see. Hovering over their ship in the harbor is an immense dragon. Nearly as long from snout to tail as their ship, it seems to be simply hovering there. Then, as if sensing it's being watched, it hurls something to deck below, lets out a bloodcurdling roar and flies off into the night.

All around you the goblin looters are piling treasures into the boats. The town is in chaos and the first rays of pre-dawn light are starting to lighten up the night.

What now?


Male Goblin Barbarian (Invulnerable Rager) 7

Colouring in has given Crang time to rest and now he gleefully runs to the ship to see what the dragon has done.

On the way he keeps on glancing at the book and furrowing his brow.

As they near the ship, Crang turns to Whosi and asks: How you get a elf brood-wife?


Male Goblin Cleric Level 7

Ank-hore puts his new fancy hat on throwing on the fancy shirt as well and starts to run to the ship getting there to see the dRagon throwing something at the deck. He runs by Crang and up on the deck to see what was thrown.


M Goblin Druid 7

Splurg not knowing what he will find at this ship has his trusty new stick in one hand, and his schimitar in the other. stick=clw wand Splurg so inraptured by the dragon may not notice if he runs into another goblin schimitar first of course


The boats are launched and in a few moments, you are back at the ship. You scramble up ropes to the deck to see the few remaining goblins on the ship all surrounding something on the deck, staring curiously at it. As you muscle your way through, you can see it's the flattened, rotting corpse of Big Chief Krokk with Two Left Feet and Most of a Right One. He has not fared well since the ship ran over him. However, as you stare at the sight, one courageous goblin reaches forward to poke at the corpse. Immediately a mouth sprouts from its...chest? Head? You're not sure... and begins to speak.

"Go back to the beginning or I will end you forever."


Male Goblin Barbarian (Invulnerable Rager) 7

Krokk dead not dead?

Crang scratches his head.


M Goblin Druid 7

Splurg nudges another goblin towards Krokk to see what happens...


A victim, er... volunteer is chosen and prodded toward the remains. Nothing happens. The "mouth", having discharged its message, disappears.


M Goblin Druid 7

"Hmm he no so tuff it seem... we stay here make goblin kingdum or go back to where Krokk live?"


Male Goblin Barbarian (Invulnerable Rager) 7

Goblin Pie Rat King Dumb!


male Goblin Rogue

wiping his eyes and watching his ideas for an elven sex slave go up in smoke; he sees the stuff drop; so graps a blanket or tablecloth to put all the stuff in and haul back to the ship.

listen up gobs; we still needum supplies; wood and iron ta fix up da ship. Anyone see a lumberyard or smithy?

ooh; nice stick chucker; cloak; yes, ah da smell of lust still on it; I wasts dat girly back! [b]

Whosi puts on the cloak and loads up the crossbow and looks for a quiver and some quarrels and some food to reward Garl; after everyone takes what they want; he puts the rest on the blanket/tablecloth and ties it up and hauls it all pirate like to the ship

[b] a big flying what is over the ship? Whosi stops.


Male Goblin Cleric Level 7

so We'z going backs or we'z gonna keep on piratin', I'z is 'njoyin the piratin' looking at Whosi once the fog clearz we canz double check the village for whatz we needz


M Goblin Druid 7

"Piratin' on way back? I no wanz deaduns to makes us deadz"


male Goblin Rogue

wee needs us a bigun wagon den

looks around to spot a wagon
1d20 + 9 ⇒ (11) + 9 = 20


You're onboard the ship at the moment, so if you want a wagon, you'll need to head back to shore. Which, judging by the activity on the beach, is currently arming themselves and preparing to mount a counterattack on the goblin raiders...


M Goblin Druid 7

"Let's go! To da beah wherz it started!"

btw where's my baby birdie?? he miss mommy?


male Goblin Rogue

Ah, lookie der; dey wanna fight, but me no fighter; lezzus leab, okiedokie?


With a squawk and a sort of glide, the baby thing bursts from a nearby barrel and glide/waddles toward Splurg. He's carrying a decapitated rat, which he spits at the ground by your feet before letting out a triumphant toot. The toot seems to make your legs wobble, Splurg.


M Goblin Druid 7

"Ahh Spyke! you make mommy so proud come here spots and hugz Spyke with me"

Splurg attemps to hug Spyke and Spots at the same time making them both look at each other umcomfortably.

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