With the feline guardians away, Chuffy returns to what he was doing, ransacking the hovel.
Smuz watches the grabbycats run off and frowns. With a sigh, he goes over to the nest and stabs his knitting needle into it, just in case there's another one hiding in there. Then he starts searching through it.
Poog grumbles about the lack of Zarongel appreciation in that endeavor. Then realizes that he himself is part of the problem, so begins loudly extolling the Zarongel's many many virtues while starting to draw Zarongel graffiti, pardon, religious iconography.
Poog beautifies the walls of the Cave of Darkfear with pictures of Zarongel doing unspeakable (but fortunately not undrawable) things to dogs and horses, with fire.
In addition to the darts Chuffy threw, he, Reta, and Smuz find 2 tanglefoot bags, four smokesticks, a meat hook, a flint and steel, some metal skewers, a rusty watch chain, a small wire cage, a pair of broken spectacles, a set of thieves' tools, a set of false teeth, and a half-eaten, raccoon-scented bag of hardtack.
Smuz stares in awe at the rusty watch chain, pausing only briefly to wonder why it's called that (in Undercommon that is--he has no idea of the Goblin name). He decides it must be because it's a chain you watch, and so he stares at it some more. Then he pockets it, planning to watch it again later.
Reta takes the meat hook and admires the potential level of pain it could cause. she says, giggling at her own funny. She grabs the half-eaten, raccoon-scented bag of hardtack.
Chuffy likes the watch chain, wire cage, and thieves' tools. He'll also take 2 smokesticks.
"Kill the Darkfear." Chuffy likes that idea.
Chuffy likes the watch chain...
Smuz has already taken that, and he guards it jealously. "Smuz goblin," he says.
"We no-longer-wee goblins; we put through many tests. Maybe Darkfear wurms is another test," Poog mentions while burnifying a dog image particularly badly.
With the grabbycats vanquished, the Spirit pacified, and the Cave walls beautified in a pedagogical manner, there is nothing left for the no-longer-whelps to do but to return to their tribe and bask in their well-deserved triumph.
Without any reason to return through Tadpole Bog, the goblins are free to take the more direct route back to Licktoad Village. Before they reach it, however, they hear a strange sound, a kind of caterwauling that could almost be a crude language. Up ahead, where a Longshanks road cuts through the swamp, a huge colorful box large enough to hold a dozen full-grown goblins (or three Slorbs) is visible, and the strange sounds seem to be coming from it.
Reta finds herself mesmerized by the colorful box for a long moment before finally shaking herself free of its magical, hypnotic power. she nods emphatically as she makes her way toward it.
"Wait!" Chuffy puts his hand out to stop Reta. "What that noise? Chuffy not like. Be careful."
Poog nods, "You go Reta Bigbad, get present. Then we burn, colorful box have colorful flames."
As Reta approaches the colorful box, she notices three things. First, the colorful box is on huge wheels, one of which has run off the edge of the Longshanks road and sunk into the marsh.
Second, next to this sunken wheel and the source of the caterwauling is some sort of giant, almost twice the size of a goblin and with skin a bilious pink. It is wearing the magnificent colorful-spider-hat pictured on the bottles Kettlehead was carrying, a hat which, in addition to its many legs and bright colors can also be heard to emit a steady jingling noise.
Third, attached to the other side of the colorful box by a pair of wooden arms is a hideous creature which none of the whelps have ever seen in person before but which bears a horrible resemblance to the pictures they have been shown in religious instruction of horses!
Poog stares agape. "It... it... it is... it hideous!"
But then hit eyes turn a murderous ember, "Za. Rong. Gu. Leeeee." He whispers as he sneaks up to the four-legged horror, his dogslicer comes to hand almost unbidden.
Her eyes going wide, Reta grabs her shield and straps it on before pointing her club threateningly at the giant.
"L...l...lo...lonnnngshhhanks." Smuz tries the word. "Longshanks."
He watches Reta's reaction, then tries to copy her stance, pointing his knitting needle at the longshanks. "Smuz goblin!" he declares as menacingly as he can.
The giant beast has teamed up with a monstrous horse. Chuffy begins to sneak closer to attack the longshanks from ambush.
Poog and Chuffy begin quietly to sneak up on their respective targets. Reta and Smuz prepare for battle. Smuz's declaration doesn't attract the longshanks's attention, but there is no missing Reta's belligerent challenge. The spider-hatted longshanks jumps and looks around, startled.
Taking advantage of Reta's distraction, Poog continues to inch toward the horse-thing.
Smuz rushes forward, yelling, "Smuz goblin Smuz goblin Smuz !!" He stabs maniacally with his needle at the spider-haired longshanks.
Smuz's knitting needle pierces the longshanks's long shank. It lets out a high-pitched shriek, and its hat emits a violent jingling as it shifts position toward the corner of the colored box-on-wheels and draws a long knife with which it stabs at Smuz.
Chuffy continues to sneak closer to the cart and horse monster.
The horse snorts and shies uneasily, scenting nearby enemies, but is unable to do much about it, being still attached to the wheeled box.
Reta moves up next to Smuz the goblin, she says as she swings at the humanoid.
Poog sneaks closer and sees if he can improvise a way to light a fire under the ass's ass.
The longshanks fails to respond to Reta's entirely reasonable and intelligible proposal, yelping in pain as Reta's club thumps into her leg.
The horse-thing nickers nervously as Poog approaches, ominously fiddling with his torch and the flint and steel from the Cave of Darkfear. It kicks out with its back hoof, but the arms holding it to the box interfere with its free movement.
Smuz giggles at the longshanks' yelp of pain. He shifts his position slightly, trying to gradually get round the other side of her, and attacks.
The longshanks emits another yawp and shiver of bells. It steps away from the attacking whelps and pulls a bottle from its belt that bears a striking resemblance to the bottles found in Kettlehead's possession. Gulping the contents, it drops the empty bottle.
Chuffy goes around the large bush to E51. He prepares a smokestick and readies to throw it.
Reta glares at the taller beast as it steps back away from her. she declares, staring and pointing with her weapon directly at the jingly hat. she asks as she steps forward and tries to knock it off her head.
Reta quickly stows her shield, steps forward, and snatches the jingling hat off the longshanks's head by one silver-belled tip of its many legs. Swiping defensively with its knife, the longshanks opens a cut on Reta's arm as she claims her prize.
The horse-thing kicks out desperately at Poog and his fire-making equipment away before the sparks find purchase in the kindling, a heavy hoof knocking the no-longer-whelp back alongside the wagon.
Poog sneaks towards the horses rear from under the wagon . He's not super subtle, mostly due to his malicious anticipatory cackling - but how perceptive are mules anyway?
Poog then attempts to light the horses tail.
Poog attempts to sneak up behind the horse-creature and light its tail on fire, but it flicks the hairy appendage out of the way at the last moment.
Smuz yells in rage as the longshanks moves away from him, though he laughs as Reta swipes her spider hat. He then defiantly moves back up to the longshanks and continues his attack.
Smuz's needle confronts some sort of invisible armor that deflects its rusty tip before it can pierce the longshanks's flesh again. The now-hatless longshanks emits a smug series of chirps before stepping back and pulling a squat bottle from among its equipment, which it briefly shakes and then throws at the blue goblin. Smuz dodges aside, however, and the bottle erupts into brief but impressive flame on the muddy road between him and Poog.
The horse-creature shrieks in fear and pulls uselessly against the box it's attached to as fire sparks behind its back hooves.
Chuffy lights the smokestick and launches it to land in front of the horse.
Giving him cover as he sneaks up with his dogslicer.
The horse-thing's head is engulfed in a thick cloud of gray smoke. It shrieks and tries to back up but is held in place by the wooden arms attaching it to the box.
Reta steps forward next to the spider hat, glancing back and forth between it and the longshanks. Glaring, she yells, swinging again at the taller humanoid - hoping to scare it off so she can play with the hat without being bothered.
Reta takes a half-hearted swing as the spider hat continues to use its magical powers to keep Reta's attention upon it.
Angry at failing to get it right on the first try, Poog tries again, swifter, harder, more Zarongulean. If possible, he wraps the fiery bit with the tail so that it constantly burns. Then he attempts to scamper up the mule's back and straddles it from the top while shouting loudly "Poog also stab you with knife if you make fun of how he isn’t good at riding animals."
Smuz pauses ever so briefly at the longshanks' exploding bomb. "Fire!" he says, sounding somewhat impressed. Then he roars, steps forward and continues his attack. "Smuz goblin!"
This time, Poog succeeds in touching the mule's hairy tail with his fire. It shrieks in pain, and the violent switching of its tail that results prevents the fire from continuing to burn. Between the pain in its tail, the explosion at its heels, and the cloud of smoke engulfing its head, it seems hardly to notice the young goblin scrambling onto its back.
Smuz stabs wildly at the longshanks and this time utterly fails to pierce its skin with his needle.
The longshanks steps back again and throws another bottle at the blue goblin, this one hitting Smuz directly and engulfing the hapless whelp in flames.
Chuffy sees the fire explosion and is almost losses himself in glee. He contains himself, however and throws a dart at the burning horse.
Dart
Smuz looks startled as flame and smoke spill around him. "Smuz...go...blin..." he croaks through burnt lips. Then he topples over.
Seeing Smuz the goblin fall in a heap, Reta glares at the longshanks, ignoring her own smoking injuries. she yells as she steps toward the longshanks. Reta swings her majestic club as hard as she can at the humanoid.