"Could be Vorka deaf like Foofelah. Then we sneak past, 'cept for barking dog, and light her arse with fireworks on way back."
Pussl mused and laughs with delight. Stink grunts and growls at his side, scratching at fleas.
Reta giggles and claps at the fireworks plan. Her eyes then narrow at the thought of the barking dog. She says venomously.
For the morning and most of the afternoon, the goblins work hard to build a bonfire out branches, sticks, and the remains of Scribbleface’s hut. As night falls, a group of four struggling goblins carry the Teeter Chair (with Chief Gutwad sitting atop it) out to the site of the bonfire. The chief is holding a long tube firework that he lights and points at the giant pile of wood. A moment later, a ball of flame bursts from the tube and sets the bonfire alight. The goblins cheer as the chief tosses the tube (which is sending out more little balls of flame) into the bonfire.
This signals the start of an all-night party that features lots of good things to eat (snails, fish, and snakes). The chief brings out a barrel of fermenting cider apples early on and most goblins get drunk very quickly.
Pussl cheers along with all the rest while Stink slobbers and growls at his side as the firework lights the fire. Then he digs into the food and fights over the cider apples with the rest of them.
Though Pussl doesn't get sick, he gets as drunk as he can, only vaguely remembering later how he'd danced in the crowd with fistfuls of snakes, biting their heads off and spitting them out for Stink to eat. Somewhere in the process Stink forgets himself and badly injures a random goblin or two in a rage.
Chiggo definitely partakes of the fermented apples. Fortitude:
He alternates between drinking the booze and igniting it for the display of others. He tries to freak out Reta by blowing fire close to her, but not quite catching her in it. He laughs a lot everytime he does it.
Reta grabs some apples of her own and starts munching on them ravenously. She feels energized by the scrumptious apples.
She notices Chiggo trying to burn her, She gives chase, trying to bite him.
"EEEEK!!!!!" Chiggo squeals as he drunkenly runs about, staggering into the Chair nearly knocking the Chief into the fire then nearly falling into the fire himself before he scrambles up a tree. "Reta Bigmouth have no sense of funny!" he whines down at the livid goblin.
Chief Gutwad's attendant rush to stabilize the Teeter Chair, while Chief Gutwad himself holds on precariously.
Two goblins come under the tree the Chiggo has climbed up and stare up at him. One of them, Bibbo Eatsdirt is a short, fat goblin. His companion, Tucko Missingear, is tall and thin, and is indeed missing an ear. Tucko calls up, "Me hear you sposed to be big hero. But you not look like hero to us. You big coward."
"Yeah!" Bibbo says. "You not hero. You too chicken." He turns and points to Reta. "And she too loud for hero. And Old Foofelah too old."
"We say you prove you heroes," Tucko adds. "We dare one of you to dance with Squealy Nord!"
"Yeah, dance with Squealy Nord!" Bibbo says. Several others join in, chanting, "Dance with Squealy Nord! Dance with Squealy Nord!"
Chuffy gulps down good eats and drinks.
He otherwise stays to the edges of the party.
As Bibbo and Tucko are taunting Chiggo, he comes from around the other side of the tree prepared to gut them until the crowd starts chanting Squealy Nord. He skulks away.
Reta's attention turns to the really unimportant goblins. She glowers at the two as she moves closer to them. She vows as she next turns to Tucko. She then notices Chuffy slinking around, which makes her snicker, but then notices he stops. She shrugs. She runs around in a circle, holding the edges of her dress turning and twisting, preparing for her dance.
The goblins cheer when Reta announces she will dance with Squealy Nord. They chant, "Squealy Nord! Squealy Nord!" several times until Chief Gutwad holds up a hand and they gradually fall silent.
Slorb climbs up the side of the Teeter Chair and the chief whispers in his ear. Slorb climbs back down and announces, "Chief Gutwad like this idea. Reta Bigbad will dance with Squealy Nord. She will go on Squealy Nord's back and Squealy Nord will be set free. If she stay on back for long time and not get eaten, Chief Gutwad will give her dragon brew gourd!"
The goblins cheer again and several rush towards the pit in the centre of town where Squealy Nord is kept tied up. They watch expectantly for Reta to join them. Once she has descended into the pit, Squealy Nord snorts at her and yanks at the ropes holding him. As soon as she has climbed onto his back (which he does not like at all), one of the goblins above unties the ropes holding Squealy Nord and let him loose.
Reta gets on the back of Squealy Nord, waiting for the rope to be loosed. She threatens.
Reta, enjoying the thrill of this crazy pig running around, hoots and hollers as he bucks and bucks trying to throw her off, to no avail.
Still hanging on after a bit longer, She chants for herself, as she giggles.
As the pig continues to rid himself of Reta, she finds this fantastically easy and fun. She yells in triumph, not wanting to stop.
Reta gets on the back of Squealy Nord, waiting for the rope to be loosed. She threatens.
1d20 + 11Reta, enjoying the thrill of this crazy pig running around, hoots and hollers as he bucks and bucks trying to throw her off, to no avail.
1d20 + 11Still hanging on after a bit longer, She chants for herself, as she giggles.
1d20 + 11As the pig continues to rid himself of Reta, she finds this fantastically easy and fun. She yells in triumph, not wanting to stop.
Old Foofelah nods in grudging approval, although she is clearly unhappy with Reta's public triumph. "Old Foofelah rode pig when she was girl," she tells everyone in earshot. "Bigger pig, with sharp teeth and horns. Breathed fire." She sulkily refuses the apples.
Reta manages to hold on a bit longer before finally her attention begins to waver and she falls. Nevertheless, Reta is quite proud of herself, as she curtsies and claps for how well she did. Forgetting, momentarily anyway, about the two goblins she promised to torment.
As soon as Reta falls, Squealy Nord calms down, paces about a bit and lies down in the mud. The goblins watching form atop the pit cheer. "Reta! Reta! Reta!"
It takes awhile for them to quiet down, but they eventually do, and Slorb comes forward with a vial that he hands to Reta as she climbs out of the pit. "Dragon breath gourd," he says. "Chief Gutwad says you can have. You not even have to return it. Yours to keep."
The goblins cheer some more. "More! More!" Reta notices that even Bibbo Eatsdirt and Tucko Missingear are cheering.
Reta gladly takes the Dragon breath gourd and raises it "high" to show them all. She dances around with her newly acquired item.
Seeing the two goblins she promised to torment, she decides there cheering will keep them from their suffering...for now. "Reta! Reta! Reta!" She repeats her cheer for herself in her "whisper" voice, so as not to drown out the other cheers.
Chiggo climbs down from his tree as Reta begins riding Squealy Nord and slinks away, hoping nobody notices him.
Stealth:
Bibbo and Tucko will never know how fortunate that were that Reta is a good pig dancer. Behind them, Chuffy puts away his dog slicer.
Pussl watches the whole display with disgust. "Anyone can ride Squealy Nord. Even old biddy can ride Squealy Nord. Stupid game."
He goes back for more cider apples.
Poog nods very approvingly at Reta. "You is big rider! Zarongel favors you more than other!"
The cheering and chanting start to calm down a bit. As the goblins start to return to general party antics, a voice calls out, "What about other heroes? Want see other heroes do hero-y things!" The voice turns out to be from a young goblin named Lurty Lotsahair. She takes a bite out a cider apple and continues, "They eat yum food like this, but I bet they not eat not yum food. I want see one eat bag of bull slugs real quick!"
"Eat bag of bull slugs real quick!" another goblin cries out. "Eat bag of bull slugs! Eat bag of bull slugs!" the goblins begin to chant.
After a moment, Chief Gutwad holds out his hand again and the tribe falls silent. After Slorb climbs up to receive his instruction, the whiny-voiced goblin says, "Chief Gutwad like this dare. If one of you do this, he will loan you mighty Gorge of Gluttons! Someone bring bag of bull slugs!"
Lurty runs off and comes back a moment later with a wicker basket containing the slug bag. "Who gonna eat bag of bull slugs real quick?" she asks.
Reta does a little curtsy to Poog and then runs over to Old Foofelah, She shows her her grand prize. Suddenly remembering Chiggo trying to breath fire on her, she turns and looks up into the tree where she last saw him. Noticing he's not there, she scans the area, wondering where he has gone off too.
Unable to spot him, she is content to the fact she will most assuredly find him later. And then finally get to bite him.
Intrigued by the offer to challenge himself as a hero, Pussl is at first interested but when he hears what the reward is, he decides it isn't worth it. He watches eagerly to see who is foolish enough to accept the challenge.
Chuffy does something he never does, he stands up to his full height and walks in the middle of the crowd, where everyone can see him, to the wicker basket. He peeks into the basket, then gives Lurty an evil look, before turning to face Chief Gutwad and nods once to show he is ready. After a deep breath he reaches in for his first bite.
Fort DC 15
Fort DC 15
Fort DC 15
Trying to chew the thing is too much for him, but Chuffy won't give up. In desperation, he tries to swallow without chewing.
Fort DC 10
Fort DC 10
Fort DC 10
Fort DC 10
Fort DC 10
Chuffy gets the last one down, but only barely.
**BELCH**
Fort DC 15
He looks expectantly at Slorb.
Hearing the call of 'Eating bag of bull slugs', Reta cringes. She then thinks of her pet toad, Spotol. She pulls him out to play with him and as she does, he manages to hop off onto the ground. She chases him around as he continues to hop away, managing to stay one step ahead of her.
Able to finally corral him, she places him back in her pocket and notices Chuffy step in and take down the bag of bull slugs, finishing it off with a mighty belch. Reta cringes at the thought of him eating the bull slugs but then places her hand over her mouth as she can't help but giggle. She says returning to her spot next to Old Foofelah.
Fort DC 15 1d20+3
He looks expectantly at Slorb.
A hush falls over the goblins as Chuffy looks at Slorb, who looks up at Chief Gutwad. The chief nods, and the goblins cheer. Slorb rushes off to the Moot House, and comes back a short while later carrying Gorge of Gluttons. He brings it over to Chuffy and holds it out. "This for you," he says. "It only loan. You bring back after quest and give back to Chief Gutwad or he eat you like you eat bull slugs."
The general hush, a rarity in Licktoad territory, seems to have been sufficient for Foofelah to hear Slorb's pronouncement. "Old Chief ate goblin once.... No, wait, Vorka ate old Chief." She looks puzzled.
Cheering along with the other goblins in mingled admiration and disgust, Pussl approaches Chuffy and cackles aloud. "Chuffy eat so many bull slugs, Chuffy is disgustingest goblin in all Licktoad tribe. Not even Stink eat Chuffy now."
He spits and looks to see what challenge may come next.
Poog is eager to have taken up the challenge, but after seeing the squirming creatures battle Chuffy's jaw and almost winning, he decides that there is a better time and place for heroics. Despite the sickly bile in his throat he cheers along, "Chuffy! That is mighty big mouth you have, Zarongel is pleased and proclaims you Chuffy Bullcheeks!"
"I know other test of heroness!" Tucko Missingear calls out. The other goblins turn to look at him expectantly. "I lose ear to Rusty Earbiter. I dare so-called hero to crawl through Rusty Earbiter!"
"Rusty Earbiter! Rusty Earbiter!" the other goblins chant.
Chief Gutwad nods and several goblins bring out the infamous Rusty Earbiter from behind the Moot House. There are several yelps of pain from the goblins as they accidentally slash fingers and toes on it as they roll it into position.
The Rusty Earbiter is a hollow 20-ft coil of rusty wires, barrel hoops, bent swords, and thorny branches and vines. So named for the fact that it's claimed a number of goblin ears in the past (at the moment, there are even a few partially severed goblin ears tangled in its sharp internal coils), the Rusty Earbiter is both an object of fascination and fear for the Licktoads. The half-insane tinkerer who invented the thing has long since died (carried off one night by a giant bird of some sort after his first and only test of a prototype bird-attracting hat), but his legacy lives on.
"Chief Gutwad say," Slorb announces, "that if hero get all the way through in fast time, Chief loan you Chief's Personal Very Useful Robe That Is Useful. This very generous gift!"
"Poog show you how this done! Zarongel, favor me!"
The first few steps go just fine, but then calamity strikes!
Poog gets his ankle trapped between two vicious blades that hold him in a scissor-like vice!
"OUCH! No fair! Nasty rusty! Oww! Ooa! Zarongel!" A dark green flash ignites from Rusty Earbiter, mending Poog's cuts.
He proceeds on, but not with much luck.
The infernal blades still won't let go! "Thatsit! Raging Fires! Zarongel! Burn these! Fire!! FIRE!!!" Multiple firebolts erupt in semi-random fashion as Poog tries to destroy the bits that are holding him back, after three shots his foot comes loose and he squirms on.
Finally he gets out of the infernal contraption, he turns around and gives it a vicious kick. "Now you too feel the wrath of Zarongel!"
Seeing Rusty Earbiter, Reta's thought turn to Chiggo. Her mouth forms an evil grin. She looks around for him, still unable to see him. She continues her search. She says in her normal tone.
Seeing Poog attempt the deadly machine, She crosses her arms and pouts.
Old Foofelah watches Poog clamber through the device without looking much impressed. "When Old Foofelah was a girl, Licktoads had Rusty Limbbiter. Goblins left behind not just ears but arms and legs dangling from rusty thorns. Old Foofelah remembers one who left head in there and crawled out before realizing it was dead." She cackles nostalgically. "Those were good days for Licktoad tribe."
Poog points to Dogfinder, still resting on top of his head, "Poog climbed earbiter for two! That is two times the greater!" He mutters to himself, certainly quiet enough to avoid Old Foofelah's hearing, "Old Foofelah remembers many things, but how she can? She's too old to remember being a girl."
Seeing Poog get tore to shreds and the other goblins taunt him, Reta's smile returns. She cheers, hoping they give one of the heroes another chance. She claps in excitement.
Then turning to listen to Old Foofelah, she becomes engrossed in her story. She ponders the maginificence of such a contraption. An idea then hits her, Clapping again.
The goblins watch intently, some oohing and awing, as Poog makes it easily through the first two thirds of Rusty Earbiter. There are a few gasps as he gets caught. As he starts to struggle, they start to lose interest, and go back to partying amongst themselves.
When the fire bolts start, many look back with a bit of wonder, but most shrug it off when they realize it's just Poog still stuck in Earbiter. There are a couple of claps when he gets free, but most of the goblins don't care. Chief Gutwad is no longer looking at the Earbiter and so doesn't notice Poog is free, and Slorb does not come to present him with a prize.
The Rusty Earbiter sits there for the remainder of the party, but the goblins are not interested in seeing anyone else try it out. Their attentions have turned to other things.
Reta is quite dejected that Chiggo does not get to go through Rusty Earbiter and get stuck like Poog.
Then turning to listen to Old Foofelah, she becomes engrossed in her story. She ponders the maginificence of such a contraption. An idea then hits her, Clapping again.
Old Foofelah is momentarily flummoxed. What had happened to the Rusty Limbbiter? And how could its absence be blamed on goblins not taking her advice? "Was stolen by Birdcruncher goblins," she decides with satisfaction. "Old Foofelah warned Licktoads of Birdcruncher treachery, but new Chief did not listen." She turns her dark gaze on Gutwad atop the Teeter Chair.
Reta gasps at the Birdcruncher treachery. And with the news of the Chief not listening to Old Foofelah, Reta turns her dark gaze upon him.
"Poog, like itty rabbit, caught in a trap. Lucky you not need to gnaw foot off, Poog!"
Pussl laughs heartily at the goblin's failure, pleased at his own intelligence in knowing better than to take on the challenge.
"What next? What challenge is there for mighty Pussl, lord of the beasts!"
"You? Lord of the beasts?" Lurty Lotsahair says. She gazes over Pussl. "What beasts? I bet you're just lord of dirt!"
Another goblin comes over. Batso Fatstomach (but generally known as Fatso Fatstomach) is extremely chubby and wobbles more than walks. "He may be lord of beasts, but heroes should be sneaksy. I bet he not sneaksy. Are you sneaksy?" Given that Batso is probably the least sneaky Licktoad Goblin, his question draws several chuckles from nearby goblins.
"Yeah, are you sneaksy?" Lurty says. "I bet I can find you in hide and get clubbed!"
"Yeah, hide and get clubbed!" Batso says. The other goblins take up the cheer. "Hide and get clubbed! Hide and get clubbed!"
Once again, Chief Gutwad holds up his hand for silence, and Slorb says, "Chief Gutwad like this challenge. If one hero play hide and get clubbed and not get found, Chief will loan mystical Ring That Lets You Climb Real Good!"
"What Fat Slorb say, Reta?" When Reta shouts the challenge in Foofelah's ear, she chuckles and stands up. "Old Foofelah is sneaksiest of goblins. When Old Foofelah was a girl, she played hide and get clubbed and never got found. Other goblins still out there looking for her." She waves her hand vaguely into the marsh.
Chuffy takes some time to gather himself as he tries to keep the slugs down. It takes a few moments but he does get to see Poog fail at his trial.
He takes some time to admire his prize. He wants to test it. There's more than one goblin that won't be able to recover from tonight's festivities.
Pussl looks pointedly at Stink and the wolverine growls threateningly at anyone who dares to insult his master.
"I will take this challenge!"
Alas, Old Biddy Foofelah is so sneaky that Pussl didn't even know she'd already accepted the offer.
The goblins give Old Foofelah a head start to find a hiding spot. When Pussl announces that he will take the challenge, Lurty kicks him in the shin. "Dummy! Old Foofelah already hiding. You too slow!" She runs off to search for Old Foofelah.
Old Foofelah gets herself so well-hidden only two goblins even come close to where she is.
The goblins search for several minutes, but eventually grow bored and return to the party.
Chiggo, hoping that Reta has long since forgotten the beating she wants to put down on him, slips back into the party. He does his best to actively avoid her, though.
Stealth:
She giggles at that and claps for Old Foofelah.
Reta getting restless waiting for Old Foofelah, looks around to see if Chiggo's anywhere to be found.
Spotting him, a cranky look forms on her face. Forgetting about the earlier incident but NOT forgetting that he was nowhere around to take the Rusty Earbiter challenge, She starts his way, menacingly. She tells him with a glare and her fists on her sides.
Chiggo affects what is very close to a sigh and turns around as Reta begins her tirade.
"Chiggo enter contest. Chiggo win very much, then Reta look like fool. Maybe Reta enter contest. Maybe Reta enter bark like dog contest. That contest Reta win. Or maybe look like dog contest. Reta win that too!"
Before Reta can eviscerate him for his comments, Chiggo staggers up to the Teeter Chair and proclaims, "Chiggo want contest. Chiggo big hero. Chiggo not like Reta who smell like dog."
<Hic!!>
Reta becomes infuriated, again, over Chiggo's comments. Scowling, She hisses. She pantomimes being afraid. She shows him her prize. Then remembering how much he loves to breath fire, Reta grins wickedly. She flaunts it at him as she does her little dance of flaunting.