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Navior's We Be Goblins (Inactive)

Game Master Navior


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"Poog tired, you go play with Slorb on your own. Too much excitement for one day. I give Zarongel blessing tomorrow," Poog mutters. Then he perks up and asks, "Why marry? You give up goblin ways of mating with anything that moves to follow ways of longshanks?" He spits.


Old Foofelah wrote:

Oh, it's on now.

Bibbo and Tucko didn't yell loud enough for Old Foofelah to hear what they said, but she saw them mumble something that made her audience laugh at her and turn away. Laugh at her! Old Foofelah! The oldest goblin ever! Burning with anger, she points her finger at Tucko. "You hasn't seen fireworks up close enough yet, goblin," she mutters. casting snapdragon fireworks at Tucko 1d4 fire damage and Reflex DC 13 to avoid being dazzled one round

Tucko Reflex: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 2 = 5 -- fail

As fiery dragons burst and crackle around him, Tucko cries out and jumps comically. He stumbles forward uncertainly and falls face-first into the mud. The other goblins laugh uproariously.


Chiggo opens his eyes again to see the angelic sight of Reta staring down at him.

Then he notices Chuffy.

He listens to the plan and nods agreement to it. He fills up his metal jug from the cask and readies his torch.


Female Goblin Fighter(TWF) 8
stats:
AC 22; Int. +5; Perception +16; Hp's 78/79; Fort: +9, Ref: +8, Will: +6

"RETA UNDERSTAND. POOG SCARED. NEVER HEARD OF GOBLIN HAVE TOO MUCH EXCITEMENT. POOG IS LIKE LONGSHANKS. LONGSHANKS GET TIRED FROM TOO MUCH EXCITEMENT. NOT GOBLINS." She then turns her attention back to Chiggo. "OKAY CHIGGO, LET'S GO FIND FAT SLORB." She then moves amongst the other goblins looking for Slorb.

Perception: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (8) + 9 = 17


Pussl wanders off into the wilderness.

Reta and Chiggo go in search of Slorb. They soon find him with Chief Gutwad. They are headed back towards the Moot House now that the fireworks have burnt themselves out. They see Chiggo and look surprised. The chief whispers something to Slorb, who then says, "We thought you dead. Chief very impressed that you come back to life. Clearly Reta tell true story and Pussl was liar."

The Chief whispers something else to Slorb. A look of disappointment comes over Slorb's face and he says despondently, "Chief say you get to marry daughter, Gupy Wartbits."


Female Goblin Fighter(TWF) 8
stats:
AC 22; Int. +5; Perception +16; Hp's 78/79; Fort: +9, Ref: +8, Will: +6

She glares at the chief through narrowed eyes, as jeolousy rears its ugly head. "Pussl just thought his dog kill Chiggo. But Reta know better. Chiggo not die easy. AND CHIGGO NOT MARRY DAUGHTER! CHUFFY MARRY DAUGHTER! CHUFFY IS ONE WHO MAKE CHIGGO BETTER WITH HIS YUCKY MEDICINE! OLD FOOFELAH TELL ME FANTASTIC STORIES OF LAST CHIEF WHO GAVE DAUGHTER TO WRONG HERO! YOU BETTER GIVE DAUGHTER TO CHUFFY OR RETA WILL HAVE TO TELL YOU ALL THE STORIES OLD FOOFELAH TELL ME ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO CHIEFS WHO DO STOOPIDEST STUFF! DAY AND NIGHT RETA WILL TELL STORIES! THEN RETA REPEAT STORIES! AND RETA WILL YELL WHOLE TIME TOO! NOT SPEAK NORMAL LIKE RETA NORMALLY SPEAK!" She threatens.


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Chiggo turns angrily on Reta. "Hey! You no speak for Chiggo. Chiggo great goblin hero! Chiggo should get TWO mates. Chiggo mate with Reta and Chiggo mate with Gupy! Chiggo mate with Reta and Gupy at same time! Reta no tell Chiggo what to do. Reta have no squishy parts! Reta do what Chiggo say."

Spoiler:
Bye bye, Chiggo. It was nice knowin' ya!


Female Goblin Fighter(TWF) 8
stats:
AC 22; Int. +5; Perception +16; Hp's 78/79; Fort: +9, Ref: +8, Will: +6

Reta turns on Chiggo, murder in her eyes. Her fury so focused on Chiggo, Reta forgets about Chuffy and their plan to cut Slorb. Leaving the dumb Fat Slorb to his fate. "NOT IF STOOPID CHIGGO HAVE ANY SQUISHY PARTS LEFT! AND FROM WHAT RETA SEE, IT NOT TAKE TO LONG TO REMOVE THEM! RETA GONNA REMOVE THEM AND SHOW THEM TO HIM!" She pulls out her dogslicer and takes off after Chiggo, preparing to make him dead again.

And then bringing him back alive at a later date. Yes, Reta will bring Chiggo back alive again, don't worry. Who wants to end a story like that? BUT, we do leave it open for poor Chiggo WISHING he was dead. (Yes, never fear, they do get together.(Whether Chiggo likes it or not) This is a romantic comedy, after all!) And who knows what Reta may do with her mate when he awakens all tied up. Fake squishy bits in her hand? Probably. Maybe not. Who knows? Of course, that in and of itself, is enough to make any male WISHING he was dead.

That's just ONE option....

Ah, the possiblites.

Reta giggles.


Poog, though somewhat far away, still can follow the irate dialogue quite clearly. He nods sagely, albeit sleepily, at Chiggo's comments. Yes. True goblin spirit in that one.


And so life returns to normal amongst the Licktoad tribe. Reta and Chiggo become a "couple". Old Foofelah continues to whittle on about the old days. Poog continues to provide the tribe with the guidance of Zarongel. Pussl returns to his life in the wilderness, his faithful wolverine at his side. And Chuffy finds Gupy Wartbits and carries her away, much to Chief Gutwad's chagrin.

But there are a few mysteries left unsolved. Where did all those fireworks come from in the first place? What was that ship doing stuck in the swamp? These are mysteries the goblins really don't care about, but ones that could prove their undoing.

More importantly, though, these mysteries will have a profound effect on a small group of people from the nearby longshanks village of Sandpoint. The answers to these mysteries will lead them in a trip across the world in a bid to save an empire. But that is another story...

THE END


A snooty gnome wanders into the goblins' area.

I dare say, it was a simple farce with goblins mucking things up like the "Three Goblins" on haste potions.

I never expected the operatic romance elements to gel, given the coarse and animalistic nature of the foul little monsters, nor would success be anticipated, given the foolish and base nature of these insane beasts.

An absolute disaster of an adventure, or I'm not a snooty gnome!


Male 1/2 Orc(Outsider) Monk 20

Flurry of blows on the gnome knocking him down

"Kutho like gobbo's..Kutho thinks Gobbo's silly but fun..Snooty Gnome shut stupid face."

Kicks snooty gmnome into pit with Squealy Nord


Snooty gnome again?? Chiggo not understand how Snooty Gnome not dead yet. Chiggo get big idea; Mistress Reta like. Chiggo grab Snooty Gnome out of big pit and take to Mistress. Gnome squirm but Chiggo not care. Chiggo have one pretty that go Boom left. Chiggo make gnome eat pretty then Chiggo light pretty and hold gnome mouth closed. Chiggo and Mistress wait for Boom...


The story continues in Jade Regent...

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