"You might want to hide those muscles before Tanith challenges you to a wrestle."
"To be honest, I kinda want to come at you myself. How do you even move with those?"
Eben stays behind, not really wanting to be the type that jostles the elbow of an archmage while he's working. Besides, he has more things to entertain him here.
Inside the door of the Eye, he spots Lowri, and gets a mischievous look on his face right before his face- alongside the rest of him- disappears, courtesy of a vanish spell. He steps over, invisibly peers over her shoulder for a half minute or so, and then, right before his spell should be expiring, says in a low, breathy whisper in her ear, "Ohh, that looks fancy...."
Carina, given the choice of bothering an archmage trying to rescue one of her friends or unwinding from a harrowing battle in a tavern, opts to remain at the All-Seeing Eye.
She approaches Clunk and waves hello. "Been enjoying yourself, Clunk?"
"Nice to see you too." Astraden stands at the edge of the room, leaning against the wall. "I think we met a Countess of some sort in the same dungeon we met Clunk the kolyarut. Why?"
"And Farrukh, please don't wrestle the archmage who's trying to save our friend."
"Oh yeah! Wasn't she a fire elemental or ifrit or something?"
Lacking anything else important to attend, Tanith joins Carina at the Eye.
"Clunk! You've been here the whole time? We could have really used your help with that sea of worms business. You are immune to worms, right?"
"Elemental, I think? You were more involved in those negotiations than me."
Eben stays behind, not really wanting to be the type that jostles the elbow of an archmage while he's working. Besides, he has more things to entertain him here.
Inside the door of the Eye, he spots Lowri, and gets a mischievous look on his face right before his face- alongside the rest of him- disappears, courtesy of a vanish spell. He steps over, invisibly peers over her shoulder for a half minute or so, and then, right before his spell should be expiring, says in a low, breathy whisper in her ear, "Ohh, that looks fancy...."
Lowri lunges for a hammer at her belt and is halfway toward swinging it at Eben's head before she recognizes the voice. She blinks, then casually replaces the hammer. "Oh, hi, Eben. I didn't hear you come in."
She approaches Clunk and waves hello. "Been enjoying yourself, Clunk?"
"As an emotionless automaton devoid of personal agency, no. This unit has, however, apprehended an oathbreaking blackguard during the interval between the present and our previous convocation." Clunk stares at his ale mug for a moment. "This was an adequately-performed assignment."
"Clunk! You've been here the whole time? We could have really used your help with that sea of worms business. You are immune to worms, right?"
"From my investigations since our previous convocation, yes, it is likely that this unit would be. Investigations have been difficult, however. Your history is unsound, disjointed." The red light from Clunk's eyes reflects off his mug. "This AGE-OF-WORMS does match certain prophecies the weirds spoke of, however."
"She is a salamander. A noble salamander." Manzorian rubs the bridge of his nose. "Our errant sorceress ran into some of her servants and was captured. The 'Countess' is willing to sell Zalamandra back to us, but she insists on speaking with you first."
"Huh, like, through a sending? We're ready whenever, though I didn't prepare that spell today. Has she named a price yet?"
She approaches Clunk and waves hello. "Been enjoying yourself, Clunk?""As an emotionless automaton devoid of personal agency, no. This unit has, however, apprehended an oathbreaking blackguard during the interval between the present and our previous convocation." Clunk stares at his ale mug for a moment. "This was an adequately-performed assignment."
"Uh... congrats? Those oathbreakers are always up to no good..."
"Clunk! You've been here the whole time? We could have really used your help with that sea of worms business. You are immune to worms, right?""From my investigations since our previous convocation, yes, it is likely that this unit would be. Investigations have been difficult, however. Your history is unsound, disjointed." The red light from Clunk's eyes reflects off his mug. "This AGE-OF-WORMS does match certain prophecies the weirds spoke of, however."
"Does that mean you've got some useful information for us? We could use it. That little trip into the jungle didn't exactly shed much light on this whole Age of Worms."
Cuetzpalli doesn't seem to be in a very social mood. Everything they saw in the spire comes back to haunt him as he drinks solemnly. He tries to smile when the others joke, but the efforts are clearly forced.
"Huh, like, through a sending? We're ready whenever, though I didn't prepare that spell today. Has she named a price yet?"
"Do you really think something would ever be that easy for us? Five gold says she wants us to come see her in person."
Carina blinks in surprise. "Really? Huh. What happened? What sort of oath did this... blackguard break to warrant your intervention?"
Oh, I really hope it was an actual blackguard and we didn't miss a diplomatic incident for the ages while we were gone...
Eben nearly throws himself to the ground as Lowri gets ready to literally bring a hammer down on his head, but manages to squeak out, after she stops the attack, "Good reflexes..." He becomes visible again as his spell wears off and sits himself across from her. "Yeah, retrieving Farrukh wasn't a big deal. Sounds like getting the Boss back might be kinda harder, but we've got an archmage working on it. I'm sure it'll be okay." He orders up a drink for himself, and for Lowri if she's so inclined. "You know, normally when someone I'm dating swings a weapon at me, I know it's coming because I've done screwed up. I'll just have to make a note not to surprise you when you're working." He nods at the timepiece. "What's that, then? You looking to branch out into clockworks?"
"Well, that'd take even longer. But at least it would give me the excuse to devote some time to looking for more planar tuning forks."
"Huh, like, through a sending?"
"No. I am going to teleport you there."
"We're ready whenever, though I didn't prepare that spell today. Has she named a price yet?"
"She's implied a trade in 'humanoid resources' would be preferred. When I explained you would be unlikely to accept that deal, she reluctantly suggested a particularly fine collection of ruby and topaz jewelry. I believe the sort of ransom she alludes to would cost about twenty-five thousand gold pieces, and I have already sent for a collection."
"Does that mean you've got some useful information for us? We could use it. That little trip into the jungle didn't exactly shed much light on this whole Age of Worms."
"It is unfortunate that you have wasted so much time, then." Clunk speaks without any sign of anger or reproach. "According to the prognostications I remember—this unit remembers—the Age of Worms is not notably distant. Many of the signs have already come to fruition—seeds sprouted, mountains of fire awoken."
Carina blinks in surprise. "Really? Huh. What happened? What sort of oath did this... blackguard break to warrant your intervention?"
Oh, I really hope it was an actual blackguard and we didn't miss a diplomatic incident for the ages while we were gone...
"He had agreed to deliver provender for a conference between acquaintances," Clunk says flatly. "He arrived empty-handed."
"What's that, then? You looking to branch out into clockworks?"
"I bought it off that robot." Lowri gestures to Clunk. "He took it from some knight selling cursed objects. As I understand it, this clock is supposed to slow time—but it really only does it for the wielder. I'm trying to get more into the general magic items game, but you have no idea how big a pain it is for a non-caster to work out."
"Ugh. Any chance we can just scam her?" Astraden asks. "I mean, I can take the credit for it. I know you have a 'reputation' to uphold. But twenty-five thousand is a large sum of money."
Astraden sits down and begins praying. "I'm gonna get some fire protection spells," she explains.
"So...you can't get drunk, can you Clunk?" Cuetzpalli slurs.
"And I thought us and the Countess got along so well. Now she's extorting us?"
"Also, wasn't she a noble in name only? How'd she get back in charge?"
"I did not ask. And I am going to pay the expenses, since the damages occurred while you were on a mission I recommended."
"I cannot." Clunk stares balefully at the mug. "This unit would never permit intoxication regardless, naturally, due to its paramount assignment and monumental conviction. What necessity has an inevitable for intoxicants? Absolutely none. Mere fulfillment of purpose is enough."
"I bought it off that robot." Lowri gestures to Clunk. "He took it from some knight selling cursed objects. As I understand it, this clock is supposed to slow time—but it really only does it for the wielder. I'm trying to get more into the general magic items game, but you have no idea how big a pain it is for a non-caster to work out."
"Cursed objects? But you're sure this one is safe? Well, that sounds useful, if it is. We met this lich that could stop time, but if this only slows it, it's probably more like that thing Farrukh can do. Or, well, like a spell I can cast, just personal-sized. Good thing for you to have if you want to make a getaway or just need a few more minutes in the day. Carina or Astraden could probably help you figure out how to ahem officially make it work, but I know a few tricks to work around command words and stuff like that... may I?" If Lowri is willing to momentarily part with the watch, Eben cups it in his hands and stares intently at it and tries to think of a way to show the thing who's in charge. "Tick...tock...tock...tick..." He says, improvisationally if not exactly originally. "Do what I say, make it quick. Tock tick, tick tock, I'm the caster, you're the clock." Upon finishing this bit of doggerel he focuses all his will into the moving parts of the timepiece...
"Drinking's not all bad. Most of the time it's about the shared experience, camaraderie, and building rapport. You don't think there's value in that?" Tanith adds.
Carina is about to chime in when she overhears Eben's attempts at magic device usage. She throws a concerned look over her shoulder, but doesn't move to get up from her seat.
"And about relieving the stresses of work or adventuring." She adds.
"Well, that's generous of you." Astraden raises her eyebrows at Farrukh in an expression of exaggerated shock, then resumes prayer.
"I bought it off that robot." Lowri gestures to Clunk. "He took it from some knight selling cursed objects. As I understand it, this clock is supposed to slow time—but it really only does it for the wielder. I'm trying to get more into the general magic items game, but you have no idea how big a pain it is for a non-caster to work out.""Cursed objects? But you're sure this one is safe? Well, that sounds useful, if it is. We met this lich that could stop time, but if this only slows it, it's probably more like that thing Farrukh can do. Or, well, like a spell I can cast, just personal-sized. Good thing for you to have if you want to make a getaway or just need a few more minutes in the day. Carina or Astraden could probably help you figure out how to ahem officially make it work, but I know a few tricks to work around command words and stuff like that... may I?" If Lowri is willing to momentarily part with the watch, Eben cups it in his hands and stares intently at it and tries to think of a way to show the thing who's in charge. "Tick...tock...tock...tick..." He says, improvisationally if not exactly originally. "Do what I say, make it quick. Tock tick, tick tock, I'm the caster, you're the clock." Upon finishing this bit of doggerel he focuses all his will into the moving parts of the timepiece...
[dice=UMD]1d20+21
Lowri watches Eben closely, allowing him to take the watch from her. Just as he's activating it, she says, "Well, I never actually said it was safe to—"
A few seconds later, the world returns to normal.
"Yeah," Lowri says, "that's what I thought. Hey, Talking Bowstring, did you get slowed down, too? I'm just curious."
Eben remains in this state for almost three minutes.
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"No, I'm quite unaffected. I'm curious myself; do you think he was actually listening when you said 'slows down time for the user', or just constructing his own narrative as he went along? I feel like he does that, quite a bit..." Forzamele quite happily continues dissecting Eben's personality for the duration of the three blissful minutes of silenced bard.
After three minutes stuck in a slower time frame, Eben rejoins the rest of the world. "Whoah. Okay, not what I was thinking. Or, I guess, very useful. I mean, I guess you might be able to rig it to go off on a delay and then slip it onto someone else. Or you could use it over and over and slow down your own aging and see what the world will be like in a hundred years. But that would be a one-way trip..." He cocks his head to one side, considering something, then re-activates the watch.
Somehow, he fails. He frowns, gives it a shake, then tries again.
Once the world is buzzing around him again, he smiles, then continues his experimentation: he casts haste on himself, to see what happens.
After about a minute, Eben starts to move a bit faster, though he's still ridiculously sluggish.
When she realizes that it's going to take quite a bit longer for Manzorian to be ready to leave, Astraden heads back to meet up with the rest of the party and join them in their revels. She sees Eben testing out some strange toy, tries to participate, and ends up frozen even longer than him for her troubles.
Farrukh, curious, gives it a try too.
He runs around the room in slow motion.
"That feels really weird. I kinda like it."
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After about a minute, Eben starts to move a bit faster, though he's still ridiculously sluggish.
At some point, Eben also casts slow on either himself or, since guinea pigs seem to be lining up of their own free will, someone else when they're under the effect of the time-dilating watch.
Carina pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs in resignation as Astraden & Farrukh join in on Eben's time-warping shenanigans.
Sure, it's all fun and games until somebody causes a time paradox...
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Anyone who has slow cast on them instantly freezes in place and remains frozen in place for nearly ten minutes. The watch starts to tick towards the end of the duration, and Lowri looks down with interest. "Oh, cool. According to this, all of time itself may have just lost a second. Maybe don't do that again."
Clunk looks up and stares at Eben. "While it is not this unit's prerogative to ordinate temporal..." He seems to lose the heart partway through, turning back to his ale mug.
"Eh, that's fine. I was getting tingly sensation in my toes, like they weren't as slowed down as the rest of my body or something? Weird. Where'd you pick that up, Clunk?" Astraden asks after Lowri puts the toy away.
"An individual broke with a contract by selling falsely labeled cursed items. This unit acquired the cursed items, and had little use for them, so it sold most of them to the individual known as 'Lowri' in exchange for currency with which to buy several new resources."
The group eventually resolves its dealings and heads to bed.
"GOOD EVENING, TANITH KORDSON," booms the enormous being.
"Evening, sir!" the imp says, grinning and performing several slight bows.
In the dream, Tanith finds himself out of breath and unable to respond.
"I AM THORGON, TITAN OF KORD," says the titan. "I AM HIS FAVORED HERALD FOR DEALING WITH HIS MANY DESCENDANTS." They crack a slight smile. "SOME HAVE CALLED ME THE BRAWLER'S NURSEMAID."
"And I'm Glyrinikus," chirps the imp. "Secondary Vice Herald of the god Al'Akbar, and Joint Chief of the Committee of Endless Lights." He pulls out a notepad from thin air. "Listen, we love what you're doing. Really. It's great. Really good stuff. Right, Thorgon?"
Thorgon nods. "THE AGE OF WORMS THREATENS TO MAKE THIS WORLD A DULL PLACE," they intone. "WHILE KORD SAYS THAT THE STRONG MUST RULE THE WEAK, I AM SURE HE WOULD NEVER SUPPORT ANYTHING LIKE AN APOCALYPSE."
"Right, right." The imp nods rapidly, rather like a vulture. "It's great. Wonderful job. But, see, there's this thing..." He taps his fingers together with a guilty smile. "We'd really appreciate it if you could, er—"
"STOP SUMMONING ARCHONS," roars Thorgon. "THEY ARE MINIONS OF WEAK GODS WHO HIDE BEHIND THEIR LAWS AND REGULATIONS. THEY WOULD HAVE PENCIL-PUSHERS LIKE THIS WRETCH," they point at the imp with one enormous finger, "RULE THE WORLD. THEY ARE AGENTS OF LESSER GODS, KORDSON!"
"Well, I don't know if I agree with that," says the imp sourly. "But, see, you have to understand." He fixes Tanith with a serious look. "Kord doesn't keep archons. They aren't even on Ysgard, except when they're emissaries. Every time a servant of Kord calls one, you're basically kidnapping diplomats. Like from Al'Akbar." He puffs up his chest a little bit. "Who might not be an intermediate deity, but he is still, I think, deserving of a little bit more respect than that."
"SO STOP IT," repeats the titan. "SUMMON A SLAAD OR SOMETHING." As the vision begins to fade into another, less important dream, Thorgon adds, "ALSO, IF YOU TAKE MY ADVICE, YOU SHOULD QUIT HANGING BACK FROM BIG FIGHTS AND HEALING PEOPLE. THAT'S PEASANT WORK. PUNCH THE LICH NEXT TIME!"
The next morning, the group heads back to Tenser's castle. Tenser again has them meet him in his "observatory". This time, he has a small mahogany chest with him, and is considerably less musclebound. "Do you all understand what is going on?" he asks.
A somewhat groggy Carina looks at the small mahogany chest and blinks. "...that's payment for something, right?"
"I rarely understand exactly what's going on without having it explained to me," Cuetzpalli admits sheepishly.
Tenser rolls his eyes and turns to Astraden and Farrukh. "Did you explain the entirety of the situation?"
Farrukh shrugs.
"Nobody asked."
Tanith wakes a bit later than usual due to his strange dreams that haunted his sleep. As he rushes to prepare for his morning workout-prayers, he mulls through them in his mind. Were they result of good mead, bad pork, or a true message from the Brawler's servants? After a good sweat the details of the previous night's dream become more vivid and his mind clear. Kord (or his favored herald at least) had visited him with a warning - one he intended to heed. He spends the rest of the morning practicing calling to the outer plane for allies. Rodrigo had often made it look easy but for Tanith, who generally chafed at the notion of asking for help, the trick was taxing.
After accidentally conjuring a grizzly bear for the fourth time, instead of the mighty Kordly servitor he'd imagined, the big man huffs in frustration and calls it a day in favor of joining the others for breakfast.
***
"We understand but... uh... why don't you explain it to us again?"
"Oh, oops. Yeah, guys, Zalamandra's in the Elemental Plane of Fire, trapped by that Countess we met back in the Whispering Cairn extradimensional add-on thing. Apparently the salamanders are keeping Zalamandra safe, but they want ransom for her. And we need to meet them in person. I've prepared spells to protect us from the fire, but don't go jumping in any lava pits or anything - I'm pretty sure these spells will only protect you from like, ambient heat." This said, she lays down the aforementioned spells. "Manz- Tenser, are you coming with us or just teleporting us there?"
Finally understanding what's going on, Carina shakes her head awake. "Wha--really?"
"Well, why didn't you say that in the FIRST place instead of playing with--" She starts, but sighs and shakes her head. "--never mind. We need to get her back."
"Well, that was easily understood. Let's go get her!" Cuetzpalli agrees.
